liber amoris-第9部分

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would　advise　me　to　do。



UNALTERED　LOVE





〃Love　is　not　love　that　alteration　finds：　Oh　no！　it　is　an　ever…fixed　mark；　That　looks　on　tempests　and　is　never　shaken。〃


Shall　I　not　love　her　for　herself　alone；　in　spite　of　fickleness　and　folly？　　To　love　her　for　her　regard　to　me；　is　not　to　love　her；　but　myself。　　She　has　robbed　me　of　herself：　shall　she　also　rob　me　of　my　love　of　her？　　Did　I　not　live　on　her　smile？　　Is　it　less　sweet　because　it　is　withdrawn　from　me？　　Did　I　not　adore　her　every　grace？　　Does　she　bend　less　enchantingly；　because　she　has　turned　from　me　to　another？　　Is　my　love　then　in　the　power　of　fortune；　or　of　her　caprice？　　No；　I　will　have　it　lasting　as　it　is　pure；　and　I　will　make　a　Goddess　of　her；　and　build　a　temple　to　her　in　my　heart；　and　worship　her　on　indestructible　altars；　and　raise　statues　to　her：　and　my　homage　shall　be　unblemished　as　her　unrivalled　symmetry　of　form；　and　when　that　fails；　the　memory　of　it　shall　survive；　and　my　bosom　shall　be　proof　to　scorn；　as　hers　has　been　to　pity；　and　I　will　pursue　her　with　an　unrelenting　love；　and　sue　to　be　her　slave；　and　tend　her　steps　without　notice　and　without　reward；　and　serve　her　living；　and　mourn　for　her　when　dead。　　And　thus　my　love　will　have　shewn　itself　superior　to　her　hate；　and　I　shall　triumph　and　then　die。　　This　is　my　idea　of　the　only　true　and　heroic　love！　　Such　is　mine　for　her。



PERFECT　LOVE





Perfect　love　has　this　advantage　in　it；　that　it　leaves　the　possessor　of　it　nothing　farther　to　desire。　　There　is　one　object　（at　least）　in　which　the　soul　finds　absolute　content；　for　which　it　seeks　to　live；　or　dares　to　die。　　The　heart　has　as　it　were　filled　up　the　moulds　of　the　imagination。　　The　truth　of　passion　keeps　pace　with　and　outvies　the　extravagance　of　mere　language。　　There　are　no　words　so　fine；　no　flattery　so　soft；　that　there　is　not　a　sentiment　beyond　them；　that　it　is　impossible　to　express；　at　the　bottom　of　the　heart　where　true　love　is。　　What　idle　sounds　the　common　phrases；　adorable　creature；　angel；　divinity；　are？　　What　a　proud　reflection　it　is　to　have　a　feeling　answering　to　all　these；　rooted　in　the　breast；　unalterable；　unutterable；　to　which　all　other　feelings　are　light　and　vain！　　Perfect　love　reposes　on　the　object　of　its　choice；　like　the　halcyon　on　the　wave；　and　the　air　of　heaven　is　around　it。



FROM　C。　P。；　ESQ。





London；　July　4th；　I822。


I　have　seen　M！　　Now；　my　dear　H；　let　me　entreat　and　adjure　you　to　take　what　I　have　to　tell　you；　FOR　WHAT　IT　IS　WORTHneither　for　less；　nor　more。　　In　the　first　place；　I　have　learned　nothing　decisive　from　him。　　This；　as　you　will　at　once　see；　is；　as　far　as　it　goes；　good。　　I　am　either　to　hear　from　him；　or　see　him　again　in　a　day　or　two；　but　I　thought　you　would　like　to　know　what　passed　inconclusive　as　it　wasso　I　write　without　delay；　and　in　great　haste　to　save　a　post。　　I　found　him　frank；　and　even　friendly　in　his　manner　to　me；　and　in　his　views　respecting　you。　　I　think　that　he　is　sincerely　sorry　for　your　situation；　and　he　feels　that　the　person　who　has　placed　you　in　that　situation　is　not　much　less　awkwardly　situated　herself；　and　he　professes　that　he　would　willingly　do　what　he　can　for　the　good　of　both。　　But　he　sees　great　difficulties　attending　the　affairwhich　he　frankly　professes　to　consider　as　an　altogether　unfortunate　one。　　With　respect　to　the　marriage；　he　seems　to　see　the　most　formidable　objections　to　it；　on　both　sides；　but　yet　he　by　no　means　decidedly　says　that　it　cannot；　or　that　it　ought　not　to　take　place。　　These；　mind　you；　are　his　own　feelings　on　the　subject：　but　the　most　important　point　I　learn　from　him　is　this；　that　he　is　not　prepared　to　use　his　influence　either　waythat　the　rest　of　the　family　are　of　the　same　way　of　feeling；　and　that；　in　fact；　the　thing　must　and　does　entirely　rest　with　herself。　　To　learn　this　was；　as　you　see；　gaining　a　great　point。When　I　then　endeavoured　to　ascertain　whether　he　knew　anything　decisive　as　to　what　are　her　views　on　the　subject；　I　found　that　he　did　not。　　He　has　an　opinion　on　the　subject；　and　he　didn't　scruple　to　tell　me　what　it　was；　but　he　has　no　positive　knowledge。　　In　short；　he　believes；　from　what　he　learns　from　herself　（and　he　had　purposely　seen　her　on　the　subject；　in　consequence　of　my　application　to　him）　that　she　is　at　present　indisposed　to　the　marriage；　but　he　is　not　prepared　to　say　positively　that　she　will　not　consent　to　it。　　Now　all　this；　coming　from　him　in　the　most　frank　and　unaffected　manner；　and　without　any　appearance　of　cant；　caution；　or　reserve；　I　take　to　be　most　important　as　it　respects　your　views；　whatever　they　may　be；　and　certainly　much　more　favourable　to　them　（I　confess　it）　than　I　was　prepared　to　expect；　supposing　them　to　remain　as　they　were。　　In　fact　as　I　said　before；　the　affair　rests　entirely　with　herself。　　They　are　none　of　them　disposed　either　to　further　the　marriage；　or　throw　any　insurmountable　obstacles　in　the　way　of　it；　and　what　is　more　important　than　all；　they　are　evidently　by　no　means　CERTAIN　that　SHE　may　not；　at　some　future　period；　consent　to　it；　or　they　would；　for　her　sake　as　well　as　their　own；　let　you　know　as　much　flatly；　and　put　an　end　to　the　affair　at　once。

Seeing　in　how　frank　and　straitforward　a　manner　he　received　what　I　had　to　say　to　him；　and　replied　to　it；　I　proceeded　to　ask　him　what　were　HIS　views；　and　what　were　likely　to　be　HERS　（in　case　she　did　not　consent）　as　to　whether　you　should　return　to　live　in　the　house；but　I　added；　without　waiting　for　his　answer；　that　if　she　intended　to　persist　in　treating　you　as　she　had　done　for　some　time　past；　it　would　be　worse　than　madness　for　you　to　think　of　returning。　　I　added　that；　in　case　you　did　return；　all　you　would　expect　from　her　would　be　that　she　would　treat　you　with　civility　and　kindnessthat　she　would　continue　to　evince　that　friendly　feeling　towards　you；　that　she　had　done　for　a　great　length　of　time；　&c。　　To　this；　he　said；　he　could　really　give　no　decisive　reply；　but　that　he　should　be　most　happy　if；　by　any　intervention　of　his；　he　could　conduce　to　your　comfort；　but　he　seemed　to　think　that　for　you　to　return　on　any　express　understanding　that　she　should　behave　to　you　in　any　particular　manner；　would　be　to　place　her　in　a　most　awkward　situation。　　He　went　somewhat　at　length　into　this　point；　and　talked　very　reasonably　about　it；　the　result；　however；　was　that　he　would　not　throw　any　obstacles　in　the　way　of　your　return；　or　of　her　treating　you　as　a　friend；　&c。；　nor　did　it　appear　that　he　believed　she　would　refuse　to　do　so。　　And；　finally；　we　parted　on　the　understanding　that　he　would　see　them　on　the　subject；　and　ascertain　what　could　be　done　for　the　comfort　of　all　parties：　though　he　was　of　opinion　that　if　you　could　make　up　your　mind　to　break　off　the　acquaintance　altogether；　it　would　be　the　best　plan　of　all。　　I　am　to　hear　from　him　again　in　a　day　or　two。Well；　what　do　you　say　to　all　this？　　Can　you　turn　it　to　any　thing　but　goodcomparative　good？　　If　you　would　know　what　_I_　say　to　it；　it　is　this：She　is　still　to　be　won　by　wise　and　prudent　conduct　on　your　part；　she　was　always　to　have　been　won　by　such；and　if　she　is　lost；　it　has　been　（not；　as　you　sometimes　suppose；　because　you　have　not　carried　that　unwise；　may　I　not　say　UNWORTHY？　conduct　still　farther；　but　because　you　gave　way　to　it　at　all。　　Of　course　I　use　the　terms　〃wise〃　and　〃prudent〃　with　reference　to　your　object。　　Whether　the　pursuit　of　that　object　is　wise；　only　yourself　can　judge。　　I　say　she　has　all　along　been　to　be　won；　and　she　still　is　to　be　won；　and　all　that　stands　in　the　way　of　your　views　at　this　moment　is　your　past　conduct。　　They　are　all　of　them；　every　soul；　frightened　at　you；　they　have　SEEN　enough　of　you　to　make　them　so；　and　they　have　doubtless　heard　ten　times　more　than　they　have　seen；　or　than　anyone　else　has　seen。　　They　are　all　of　them　including　M　（and　particularly　she　herself）　frightened　out　of　their　wits；　as　to　what　might　be　your　treatment　of　her　if　she　were　yours；　and　they　dare　not　trust　youthey　will　not　trust　you；　at　present。　　I　do　not　say　that　they　will　trust　you；　or　rather　that　SHE　will；　for　it　all　depends　on　her；　when　you　have　gone　through　a　probation；　but　I　am　sure　that　she　will　not　trust　you　till　you　have。　　You　will；　I　hope；　not　be　angry　with　me　when　I　say　that　she　would　be　a　fool　if　she　did。　　If　she　were　to　accept　you　at　present；　and　without　knowing　more　of　you；　even　I　should　begin　to　suspect　that　she　had　an　unworthy　motive　for　doing　it。　　Let　me　not　forget　to　mention　what　is　perhaps　as　important　a　point　as　any；　as　it　regards　the　marriage。　　I　of　course　stated　to　M　that　when　you　are　free；　you　are　prepared　to　make　her　a　formal　offer　of　your　hand；　but　I　begged　him；　if　he　was　certain　that　such　an　offer　would　be　refused；　to　tell　me　so　plainly　at　once；　that　I　might　endeavour；　in　that　case；　to　dissuade　you　from　subjecting　yourself　to　the　pain　of　such　a　refusal。　　HE　WOULD　NOT　TELL　ME　THAT　HE　WAS　CERTAIN。　　He　said　his　opinion　was　that　she　would　not　accept　your　offer；　but　still　he　seemed　to　think　that　there　would　be　no　harm　in　making　it！…One　word　more；　and　a　very　important　one。　　He　once；　and　without　my　referring　in　the　slightest　manner　to　that　part　of　the　subject；　spoke　of　her　as　a　GOOD　GIRL；　and　LIKELY　TO　MAKE　ANY　MAN　AN　EXCELLENT　WIFE！　　Do　you　think　if　she　were　a　bad　girl　（and　if　she　were；　he　must　know　her　to　be　so）　he　would　have　dared　to　do　this；　under　these　circumstances？And　once；　in　speaking　of　HIS　not　being　a　fit　person　to　set　his　face　against　〃marrying　for　love；〃　he　added　〃I　did　so　myself；　and　out　of　that　house；　and　I　have　had　reason　to　rejoice　at　it　ever　since。〃　　And　mind　（for　I　anticipate　your　cursed　suspicions）　I'm　certain；　at　least；　if　manner　can　entitle　one　to　be　certain　of　any　thing；　that　he　said　all　this　spontaneously；　and　without　any　understood　motive；　and　I'm　certain；　too；　that　he　knows　you　to　be　a　person　that　it　would　not　do　to　play　any　tricks　of　this　kind　with。　　I　believe（and　all　this　would　never　have　entered　my　thoughts；　but　that　I　know　it　will　enter　yours）　I　believe　that　even　if　they　thought　（as　you　have　sometimes　supposed　they　do）　that　she　needs　whitewashing；　or　making　an　honest　woman　of；　YOU　would　be　the　last　person　they　would　think　of　using　for　such　a　purpose；　for　they　know　（as　well　as　I　do）　that　you　couldn't　fail　to　find　out　the　trick　in　a　month；　and　would　turn　her　into　the　street　the　next　moment；　though　she　were　twenty　times　your　wifeand　that；　as　to　the　consequen