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the way of the world-第13部分

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not so impudent a thing in nature as the saucy look of an assured



man confident of success:  the pedantic arrogance of a very husband



has not so pragmatical an air。  Ah; I'll never marry; unless I am



first made sure of my will and pleasure。







MIRA。  Would you have 'em both before marriage?  Or will you be



contented with the first now; and stay for the other till after



grace?







MILLA。  Ah; don't be impertinent。  My dear liberty; shall I leave



thee?  My faithful solitude; my darling contemplation; must I bid



you then adieu?  Ay…h; adieu。  My morning thoughts; agreeable



wakings; indolent slumbers; all ye DOUCEURS; ye SOMMEILS DU MATIN;



adieu。  I can't do't; 'tis more than impossiblepositively;



Mirabell; I'll lie a…bed in a morning as long as I please。







MI RA。  Then I'll get up in a morning as early as I please。







MILLA。  Ah!  Idle creature; get up when you will。  And d'ye hear; I



won't be called names after I'm married; positively I won't be



called names。







MIRA。  Names?







MILLA。  Ay; as wife; spouse; my dear; joy; jewel; love; sweet…heart;



and the rest of that nauseous cant; in which men and their wives are



so fulsomely familiarI shall never bear that。  Good Mirabell;



don't let us be familiar or fond; nor kiss before folks; like my



Lady Fadler and Sir Francis; nor go to Hyde Park together the first



Sunday in a new chariot; to provoke eyes and whispers; and then



never be seen there together again; as if we were proud of one



another the first week; and ashamed of one another ever after。  Let



us never visit together; nor go to a play together; but let us be



very strange and well…bred。  Let us be as strange as if we had been



married a great while; and as well…bred as if we were not married at



all。







MIRA。  Have you any more conditions to offer?  Hitherto your demands



are pretty reasonable。







MILLA。  Trifles; as liberty to pay and receive visits to and from



whom I please; to write and receive letters; without interrogatories



or wry faces on your part; to wear what I please; and choose



conversation with regard only to my own taste; to have no obligation



upon me to converse with wits that I don't like; because they are



your acquaintance; or to be intimate with fools; because they may be



your relations。  Come to dinner when I please; dine in my dressing…



room when I'm out of humour; without giving a reason。  To have my



closet inviolate; to be sole empress of my tea…table; which you must



never presume to approach without first asking leave。  And lastly;



wherever I am; you shall always knock at the door before you come



in。  These articles subscribed; if I continue to endure you a little



longer; I may by degrees dwindle into a wife。







MIRA。  Your bill of fare is something advanced in this latter



account。  Well; have I liberty to offer conditions:… that when you



are dwindled into a wife; I may not be beyond measure enlarged into



a husband?







MILLA。  You have free leave:  propose your utmost; speak and spare



not。







MIRA。  I thank you。  IMPRIMIS; then; I covenant that your



acquaintance be general; that you admit no sworn confidant or



intimate of your own sex; no she friend to screen her affairs under



your countenance; and tempt you to make trial of a mutual secrecy。



No decoy…duck to wheedle you a FOP…SCRAMBLING to the play in a mask;



then bring you home in a pretended fright; when you think you shall



be found out; and rail at me for missing the play; and disappointing



the frolic which you had to pick me up and prove my constancy。







MILLA。  Detestable IMPRIMIS!  I go to the play in a mask!







MIRA。  ITEM; I article; that you continue to like your own face as



long as I shall; and while it passes current with me; that you



endeavour not to new coin it。  To which end; together with all



vizards for the day; I prohibit all masks for the night; made of



oiled skins and I know not whathog's bones; hare's gall; pig



water; and the marrow of a roasted cat。  In short; I forbid all



commerce with the gentlewomen in what…d'ye…call…it court。  ITEM; I



shut my doors against all bawds with baskets; and pennyworths of



muslin; china; fans; atlases; etc。  ITEM; when you shall be breeding











MILLA。  Ah; name it not!







MIRA。  Which may be presumed; with a blessing on our endeavours …







MILLA。  Odious endeavours!







MIRA。  I denounce against all strait lacing; squeezing for a shape;



till you mould my boy's head like a sugar…loaf; and instead of a



man…child; make me father to a crooked billet。  Lastly; to the



dominion of the tea…table I submit; but with proviso; that you



exceed not in your province; but restrain yourself to native and



simple tea…table drinks; as tea; chocolate; and coffee。  As likewise



to genuine and authorised tea…table talk; such as mending of



fashions; spoiling reputations; railing at absent friends; and so



forth。  But that on no account you encroach upon the men's



prerogative; and presume to drink healths; or toast fellows; for



prevention of which; I banish all foreign forces; all auxiliaries to



the tea…table; as orange…brandy; all aniseed; cinnamon; citron; and



Barbadoes waters; together with ratafia and the most noble spirit of



clary。  But for cowslip…wine; poppy…water; and all dormitives; those



I allow。  These provisos admitted; in other things I may prove a



tractable and complying husband。







MILLA。  Oh; horrid provisos!  Filthy strong waters!  I toast



fellows; odious men!  I hate your odious provisos。







MIRA。  Then we're agreed。  Shall I kiss your hand upon the contract?



And here comes one to be a witness to the sealing of the deed。











SCENE VI。











'To them' MRS。 FAINALL。







MILLA。  Fainall; what shall I do?  Shall I have him?  I think I must



have him。







MRS。 FAIN。  Ay; ay; take him; take him; what should you do?







MILLA。  Well thenI'll take my death I'm in a horrid fright



Fainall; I shall never say it。  WellI thinkI'll endure you。







MRS。 FAIN。  Fie; fie; have him; and tell him so in plain terms:  for



I am sure you have a mind to him。







MILLA。  Are you?  I think I have; and the horrid man looks as if he



thought so too。  Well; you ridiculous thing you; I'll have you。  I



won't be kissed; nor I won't be thanked。Here; kiss my hand though;



so hold your tongue now; don't say a word。







MRS。 FAIN。  Mirabell; there's a necessity for your obedience:  you



have neither time to talk nor stay。  My mother is coming; and in my



conscience if she should see you; would fall into fits; and maybe



not recover time enough to return to Sir Rowland; who; as Foible



tells me; is in a fair way to succeed。  Therefore spare your



ecstasies for another occasion; and slip down the back stairs; where



Foible waits to consult you。







MILLA。  Ay; go; go。  In the meantime I suppose you have said



something to please me。







MIRA。  I am all obedience。











SCENE VII。











MRS。 MILLAMANT; MRS。 FAINALL。







MRS。 FAIN。  Yonder Sir Wilfull's drunk; and so noisy that my mother



has been forced to leave Sir Rowland to appease him; but he answers



her only with singing and drinking。  What they may have done by this



time I know not; but Petulant and he were upon quarrelling as I came



by。







MILLA。  Well; if Mirabell should not make a good husband; I am a



lost thing:  for I find I love him violently。







MRS。 FAIN。  So it seems; for you mind not what's said to you。  If



you doubt him; you had best take up with Sir Wilfull。







MILLA。  How can you name that superannuated lubber? foh!











SCENE VIII。











'To them' WITWOUD from drinking。







MRS。 FAIN。  So; is the fray made up that you have left 'em?







WIT。  Left 'em?  I could stay no longer。  I have laughed like ten



Christ'nings。  I am tipsy with laughingif I had stayed any longer



I should have burst;I must have been let out and pieced in the



sides like an unsized camlet。  Yes; yes; the fray is composed; my



lady came in like a NOLI PROSEQUI; and stopt the proceedings。







MILLA。  What was the dispute?







WIT。  That's the jest:  there was no dispute。  They could neither of



'em speak for rage; and so fell a sputt'ring at one another like two



roasting apples。











SCENE IX。











'To them' PETULANT drunk。







WIT。  Now; Petulant?  All's over; all's well?  Gad; my head begins



to whim it about。  Why dost thou not speak?  Thou art both as drunk



and as mute as a fish。







PET。  Look you; Mrs。 Millamant; if you can love me; dear Nymph; say



it; and that's the conclusionpass on; or pass offthat's all。







WIT。  Thou hast uttered volumes; folios; in less than decimo sexto;



my dear Lacedemonian。  Sirrah; Petulant; thou art an epitomiser of



words。







PET。  Witwoud;you are an annihilator of sense。







WIT。  Thou art a retailer of phrases; and dost deal in remnants of



remnants; like a maker of pincushions; thou art in truth



(metaphorically speaking) a speaker of shorthand。







PET。  Thou art (without a figure) just one half of an ass; and



Baldwin yonder; thy half…brother; is the rest。  A Gemini of asses



split would make just four of you。







WIT。  Thou dost bite; my dear mustard…seed; 
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