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paz-第11部分

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After that reply Thaddeus said no more; he was silent until; as they

passed a wooden building on the Champs Elysees; he said; pointing to

it; 〃That is the Circus。〃



He went to the Russian Embassy before dinner; and thence to the

Foreign office; and the next morning he had started for Havre before

the count and countess were up。



〃I have lost a friend;〃 said Adam; with tears in his eyes; when he

heard that Paz had gone;〃a friend in the true meaning of the word。 I

don't know what has made him abandon me as if a pestilence were in my

house。 We are not friends to quarrel about a woman;〃 he said; looking

intently at Clementine。 〃You heard what he said yesterday about

Malaga。 Well; he has never so much as touched the little finger of

that girl。〃



〃How do you know that?〃 said Clementine。



〃I had the natural curiosity to go and see Mademoiselle Turquet; and

the poor girl can't explain even to herself the absolute reserve which

Thad〃



〃Enough!〃 said the countess; retreating into her bedroom。 〃Can it be

that I am the victim of some noble mystification?〃 she asked herself。

The thought had hardly crossed her mind when Constantin brought her

the following letter written by Thaddeus during the night:



  〃Countess;To seek death in the Caucasus and carry with me your

  contempt is more than I can bear。 A man should die untainted。 When

  I saw you for the first time I loved you as we love a woman whom

  we shall love forever; even though she be unfaithful to us。 I

  loved you thus;I; the friend of the man you had chosen and were

  about to marry; I; poor; I; the steward;a voluntary service; but

  still the steward of your household。



  〃In this immense misfortune I found a happy life。 To be to you an

  indispensable machine; to know myself useful to your comfort; your

  luxury; has been the source of deep enjoyments。 If these

  enjoyments were great when I thought only of Adam; think what they

  were to my soul when the woman I loved was the mainspring of all I

  did。 I have known the pleasures of maternity in my love。 I

  accepted life thus。 Like the paupers who live along the great

  highways; I built myself a hut on the borders of your beautiful

  domain; though I never sought to approach you。 Poor and lonely;

  struck blind by Adam's good fortune; I was; nevertheless; the

  giver。 Yes; you were surrounded by a love as pure as a guardian…

  angel's; it waked while you slept; it caressed you with a look as

  you passed; it was happy in its own existence;you were the sun

  of my native land to me; poor exile; who now writes to you with

  tears in his eyes as he thinks of the happiness of those first

  days。



  〃When I was eighteen years old; having no one to love; I took for

  my ideal mistress a charming woman in Warsaw; to whom I confided

  all my thoughts; my wishes; I made her the queen of my nights and

  days。 She knew nothing of all this; why should she? I loved my

  love。



  〃You can fancy from this incident of my youth how happy I was

  merely to live in the sphere of your existence; to groom your

  horse; to find the new…coined gold for your purse; to prepare the

  splendor of your dinners and your balls; to see you eclipsing the

  elegance of those whose fortunes were greater than yours; and all

  by my own good management。 Ah! with what ardor I have ransacked

  Paris when Adam would say to me; 'SHE wants this or that。' It was

  a joy such as I can never express to you。 You wished for a trifle

  at one time which kept me seven hours in a cab scouring the city;

  and what delight it was to weary myself for you。 Ah! when I saw

  you; unseen by you; smiling among your flowers; I could forget

  that no one loved me。 On certain days; when my happiness turned my

  head; I went at night and kissed the spot where; to me; your feet

  had left their luminous traces。 The air you had breathed was

  balmy; in it I breathed in more of life; I inhaled; as they say

  persons do in the tropics; a vapor laden with creative principles。



  〃I MUST tell you these things to explain the strange presumption

  of my involuntary thoughts;I would have died rather than avow it

  until now。



  〃You will remember those few days of curiosity when you wished to

  know the man who performed the household miracles you had

  sometimes noticed。 I thought;forgive me; madame;I believed you

  might love me。 Your good…will; your glances interpreted by me; a

  lover; seemed to me so dangerousfor methat I invented that

  story of Malaga; knowing it was the sort of liaison which women

  cannot forgive。 I did it in a moment when I felt that my love

  would be communicated; fatally; to you。 Despise me; crush me with

  the contempt you have so often cast upon me when I did not deserve

  it; and yet I am certain that; if; on that evening when your aunt

  took Adam away from you; I had said what I have now written to

  you; I should; like the tamed tiger that sets his teeth once more

  in living flesh; and scents the blood; and



                                                          〃Midnight。



  〃I could not go on; the memory of that hour is still too living。

  Yes; I was maddened。 Was there hope for me in your eyes? then

  victory with its scarlet banners would have flamed in mine and

  fascinated yours。 My crime has been to think all this; perhaps

  wrongly。 You alone can judge of that dreadful scene when I drove

  back love; desire; all the most invincible forces of our manhood;

  with the cold hand of gratitude;gratitude which must be eternal。



  〃Your terrible contempt has been my punishment。 You have shown me

  there is no return from loathing or disdain。 I love you madly。 I

  should have gone had Adam died; all the more must I go because he

  lives。 A man does not tear his friend from the arms of death to

  betray him。 Besides; my going is my punishment for the thought 

  that came to me that I would let him die; when the doctors said

  that his life depended on his nursing。



  〃Adieu; madame; in leaving Paris I lose all; but you lose nothing

  now in my being no longer near you。



〃Your devoted

〃Thaddeus Paz。〃





〃If my poor Adam says he has lost a friend; what have I lost?〃 thought

Clementine; sinking into a chair with her eyes fixed on the carpet。



The following letter Constantin had orders to give privately to the

count:



  〃My dear Adam;Malaga has told me all。 In the name of all your

  future happiness; never let a word escape you to Clementine about

  your visits to that girl; let her think that Malaga has cost me a

  hundred thousand francs。 I know Clementine's character; she will

  never forgive you either your losses at cards or your visits to

  Malaga。



  〃I am not going to Khiva; but to the Caucasus。 I have the spleen;

  and at the pace at which I mean to go I shall be either Prince Paz

  in three years; or dead。 Good…by; though I have taken sixty…

  thousand francs from Nucingen; our accounts are even。



〃Thaddeus。〃





〃Idiot that I was;〃 thought Adam; 〃I came near to cutting my throat

just now; talking about Malaga。〃



It is now three years since Paz went away。 The newspapers have as yet

said nothing about any Prince Paz。 The Comtesse Laginska is immensely

interested in the expeditions of the Emperor Nicholas; she is Russian

to the core; and reads with a sort of avidity all the news that comes

from that distant land。 Once or twice every winter she says to the

Russian ambassador; with an air of indifference; 〃Do you know what has

become of our poor Comte Paz?〃



Alas! most Parisian women; those beings who think themselves so clever

and clear…sighted; pass and repass beside a Paz and never recognize

him。 Yes; many a Paz is unknown and misconceived; buthorrible to

think of!some are misconceived even though they are loved。 The

simplest women in society exact a certain amount of conventional sham

from the greatest men。 A noble love signifies nothing to them if rough

and unpolished; it needs the cutting and setting of a jeweller to give

it value in their eyes。



In January; 1842; the Comtesse Laginska; with her charm of gentle

melancholy; inspired a violent passion in the Comte de La Palferine;

one of the most daring and presumptuous lions of the day。 La Palferine

was well aware that the conquest of a woman so guarded by reserve as

the Comtesse Laginska was difficult; but he thought he could inveigle

this charming creature into committing herself if he took her

unawares; by the assistance of a certain friend of her own; a woman

already jealous of her。



Quite incapable; in spite of her intelligence; of suspecting such

treachery; the Comtesse Laginska committed the imprudence of going

with her so…called friend to a masked ball at the Opera。 About three

in the morning; led away by the excitement of the scene; Clementine;

on whom La Palferine had expended his seductions; consented to accept

a supper; and was about to enter the carriage of her faithless friend。

At this critical moment her arm was grasped by a powerful hand; and

she was taken; in spite of her struggles; to her own carriage; the

door of which stood open; though she did not know it was there。



〃He has never left Paris!〃 she exclaimed to herself as she recognized

Thaddeus; who disappeared when the carriage drove away。



Did any woman ever have a like romance in her life? Clementine is

constantly hoping she may again see Paz。










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