the diary of a nobody-第2部分

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e　tip　to　the　others。　　The　result　was　that　I　was　the　only　one　late　of　the　lot。　　Buckling；　one　of　the　senior　clerks；　was　a　brick；　and　I　was　saved　by　his　intervention。　As　I　passed　by　Pitt's　desk；　I　heard　him　remark　to　his　neighbour：　〃How　disgracefully　late　some　of　the　head　clerks　arrive！〃　　This　was；　of　course；　meant　for　me。　　I　treated　the　observation　with　silence；　simply　giving　him　a　look；　which　unfortunately　had　the　effect　of　making　both　of　the　clerks　laugh。　　Thought　afterwards　it　would　have　been　more　dignified　if　I　had　pretended　not　to　have　heard　him　at　all。　　Cummings　called　in　the　evening；　and　we　played　dominoes。

April　12。　…　Mustard…and…cress　and　radishes　not　come　up　yet。　　Left　Farmerson　repairing　the　scraper；　but　when　I　came　home　found　three　men　working。　　I　asked　the　meaning　of　it；　and　Farmerson　said　that　in　making　a　fresh　hole　he　had　penetrated　the　gas…pipe。　　He　said　it　was　a　most　ridiculous　place　to　put　the　gas…pipe；　and　the　man　who　did　it　evidently　knew　nothing　about　his　business。　　I　felt　his　excuse　was　no　consolation　for　the　expense　I　shall　be　put　to。

In　the　evening；　after　tea；　Gowing　dropped　in；　and　we　had　a　smoke　together　in　the　breakfast…parlour。　　Carrie　joined　us　later；　but　did　not　stay　long；　saying　the　smoke　was　too　much　for　her。　　It　was　also　rather　too　much　for　me；　for　Gowing　had　given　me　what　he　called　a　green　cigar；　one　that　his　friend　Shoemach　had　just　brought　over　from　America。　　The　cigar　didn't　look　green；　but　I　fancy　I　must　have　done　so；　for　when　I　had　smoked　a　little　more　than　half　I　was　obliged　to　retire　on　the　pretext　of　telling　Sarah　to　bring　in　the　glasses。

I　took　a　walk　round　the　garden　three　or　four　times；　feeling　the　need　of　fresh　air。　　On　returning　Gowing　noticed　I　was　not　smoking：　offered　me　another　cigar；　which　I　politely　declined。　　Gowing　began　his　usual　sniffing；　so；　anticipating　him；　I　said：　　〃You're　not　going　to　complain　of　the　smell　of　paint　again？〃　　He　said：　　〃No；　not　this　time；　but　I'll　tell　you　what；　I　distinctly　smell　dry　rot。〃　　I　don't　often　make　jokes；　but　I　replied：　　〃You're　talking　a　lot　of　DRY　ROT　yourself。〃　　I　could　not　help　roaring　at　this；　and　Carrie　said　her　sides　quite　ached　with　laughter。　　I　never　was　so　immensely　tickled　by　anything　I　have　ever　said　before。　　I　actually　woke　up　twice　during　the　night；　and　laughed　till　the　bed　shook。

April　13。　…　An　extraordinary　coincidence：　　Carrie　had　called　in　a　woman　to　make　some　chintz　covers　for　our　drawing…room　chairs　and　sofa　to　prevent　the　sun　fading　the　green　rep　of　the　furniture。　　I　saw　the　woman；　and　recognised　her　as　a　woman　who　used　to　work　years　ago　for　my　old　aunt　at　Clapham。　　It　only　shows　how　small　the　world　is。

April　14。　…　Spent　the　whole　of　the　afternoon　in　the　garden；　having　this　morning　picked　up　at　a　bookstall　for　fivepence　a　capital　little　book；　in　good　condition；　on　GARDENING。　　I　procured　and　sowed　some　half…hardy　annuals　in　what　I　fancy　will　be　a　warm；　sunny　border。　　I　thought　of　a　joke；　and　called　out　Carrie。　　Carrie　came　out　rather　testy；　I　thought。　　I　said：　　〃I　have　just　discovered　we　have　got　a　lodging…house。〃　　She　replied：　　〃How　do　you　mean？〃　　I　said：　　〃Look　at　the　BOARDERS。〃　　Carrie　said：　　〃Is　that　all　you　wanted　me　for？〃　　I　said：　　〃Any　other　time　you　would　have　laughed　at　my　little　pleasantry。〃　　Carrie　said：　　〃Certainly　…　AT　ANY　OTHER　TIME；　but　not　when　I　am　busy　in　the　house。〃　　The　stairs　looked　very　nice。　　Gowing　called；　and　said　the　stairs　looked　ALL　RIGHT；　but　it　made　the　banisters　look　ALL　WRONG；　and　suggested　a　coat　of　paint　on　them　also；　which　Carrie　quite　agreed　with。　　I　walked　round　to　Putley；　and　fortunately　he　was　out；　so　I　had　a　good　excuse　to　let　the　banisters　slide。　　By…the…by；　that　is　rather　funny。

April　15；　Sunday。　…　At　three　o'clock　Cummings　and　Gowing　called　for　a　good　long　walk　over　Hampstead　and　Finchley；　and　brought　with　them　a　friend　named　Stillbrook。　　We　walked　and　chatted　together；　except　Stillbrook；　who　was　always　a　few　yards　behind　us　staring　at　the　ground　and　cutting　at　the　grass　with　his　stick。

As　it　was　getting　on　for　five；　we　four　held　a　consultation；　and　Gowing　suggested　that　we　should　make　for　〃The　Cow　and　Hedge〃　and　get　some　tea。　　Stillbrook　said：　　〃A　brandy…and…soda　was　good　enough　for　him。〃　　I　reminded　them　that　all　public…houses　were　closed　till　six　o'clock。　　Stillbrook　said；　〃That's　all　right　…　BONA…FIDE　travellers。〃

We　arrived；　and　as　I　was　trying　to　pass；　the　man　in　charge　of　the　gate　said：　　〃Where　from？〃　　I　replied：　　〃Holloway。〃　　He　immediately　put　up　his　arm；　and　declined　to　let　me　pass。　　I　turned　back　for　a　moment；　when　I　saw　Stillbrook；　closely　followed　by　Cummings　and　Gowing；　make　for　the　entrance。　　I　watched　them；　and　thought　I　would　have　a　good　laugh　at　their　expense；　I　heard　the　porter　say：　　〃Where　from？〃　　When；　to　my　surprise；　in　fact　disgust；　Stillbrook　replied：　〃Blackheath；〃　and　the　three　were　immediately　admitted。

Gowing　called　to　me　across　the　gate；　and　said：　　〃We　shan't　be　a　minute。〃　　I　waited　for　them　the　best　part　of　an　hour。　　When　they　appeared　they　were　all　in　most　excellent　spirits；　and　the　only　one　who　made　an　effort　to　apologise　was　Mr。　Stillbrook；　who　said　to　me：　〃It　was　very　rough　on　you　to　be　kept　waiting；　but　we　had　another　spin　for　S。　and　B。's。〃　　I　walked　home　in　silence；　I　couldn't　speak　to　them。　　I　felt　very　dull　all　the　evening；　but　deemed　it　advisable　NOT　to　say　anything　to　Carrie　about　the　matter。

April　16。　…　After　business；　set　to　work　in　the　garden。　　When　it　got　dark　I　wrote　to　Cummings　and　Gowing　（who　neither　called；　for　a　wonder；　perhaps　they　were　ashamed　of　themselves）　about　yesterday's　adventure　at　〃The　Cow　and　Hedge。〃　　Afterwards　made　up　my　mind　not　to　write　YET。

April　17。　…　Thought　I　would　write　a　kind　little　note　to　Gowing　and　Cummings　about　last　Sunday；　and　warning　them　against　Mr。　Stillbrook。　　Afterwards；　thinking　the　matter　over；　tore　up　the　letters　and　determined　not　to　WRITE　at　all；　but　to　SPEAK　quietly　to　them。　　Dumfounded　at　receiving　a　sharp　letter　from　Cummings；　saying　that　both　he　and　Gowing　had　been　waiting　for　an　explanation　of　MY　（mind　you；　MY）　extraordinary　conduct　coming　home　on　Sunday。　　At　last　I　wrote：　　〃I　thought　I　was　the　aggrieved　party；　but　as　I　freely　forgive　you；　you　…　feeling　yourself　aggrieved　…　should　bestow　forgiveness　on　me。〃　　I　have　copied　this　VERBATIM　in　the　diary；　because　I　think　it　is　one　of　the　most　perfect　and　thoughtful　sentences　I　have　ever　written。　　I　posted　the　letter；　but　in　my　own　heart　I　felt　I　was　actually　apologising　for　having　been　insulted。

April　18。　…　Am　in　for　a　cold。　　Spent　the　whole　day　at　the　office　sneezing。　　In　the　evening；　the　cold　being　intolerable；　sent　Sarah　out　for　a　bottle　of　Kinahan。　　Fell　asleep　in　the　arm…chair；　and　woke　with　the　shivers。　　Was　startled　by　a　loud　knock　at　the　front　door。　　Carrie　awfully　flurried。　　Sarah　still　out；　so　went　up；　opened　the　door；　and　found　it　was　only　Cummings。　　Remembered　the　grocer's　boy　had　again　broken　the　side…bell。　　Cummings　squeezed　my　hand；　and　said：　　〃I've　just　seen　Gowing。　　All　right。　　Say　no　more　about　it。〃　　There　is　no　doubt　they　are　both　under　the　impression　I　have　apologised。

While　playing　dominoes　with　Cummings　in　the　parlour；　he　said：　　〃By…　the…by；　do　you　want　any　wine　or　spirits？　　My　cousin　Merton　has　just　set　up　in　the　trade；　and　has　a　splendid　whisky；　four　years　in　bottle；　at　thirty…eight　shillings。　　It　is　worth　your　while　laying　down　a　few　dozen　of　it。〃　　I　told　him　my　cellars；　which　were　very　small；　were　full　up。　　To　my　horror；　at　that　very　moment；　Sarah　entered　the　room；　and　putting　a　bottle　of　whisky；　wrapped　in　a　dirty　piece　of　newspaper；　on　the　table　in　front　of　us；　said：　〃Please；　sir；　the　grocer　says　he　ain't　got　no　more　Kinahan；　but　you'll　find　this　very　good　at　two…and…six；　with　twopence　returned　on　the　bottle；　and；　please；　did　you　want　any　more　sherry？　as　he　has　some　at　one…and…three；　as　dry　as　a　nut！〃



CHAPTER　III。



A　conversation　with　Mr。　Merton　on　Society。　　Mr。　and　Mrs。　James；　of　Sutton；　come　up。　　A　miserable　evening　at　the　Tank　Theatre。　Experiments　with　enamel　paint。　　I　make　another　good　joke；　but　Gowing　and　Cummings　are　unnecessarily　offended。　　I　paint　the　bath　red；　with　unexpected　result。


April　19。　…　Cummings　called；　bringing　with　him　his　friend　Merton；　who　is　in　the　wine　trade。　　Gowing　also　called。　　Mr。　Merton　made　himself　at　home　at　once；　and　Carrie　and　I　were　both　struck　with　him　immediately；　and　thoroughly　approved　of　his　sentiments。

He　leaned　back　in　his　chair　and　said：　　〃You　must　take　me　as　I　am；〃　and　I　replied：　　〃Yes　…　and　you　must　take　us　as　we　are。　　We're　homely　people；　we　are　not　swells。〃

He　answered：　　〃No；　I　can　see　that；〃　and　Gowing　roared　with　laughter；　but　Merton　in　a　most　gentlemanly　manner　said　to　Gowing：　〃I　don't　think　you　quite　understand　me。　　I　intended　to　convey　that　our　charming　host　and　hostess　were　superior　to　the　follies　of　fashion；　and　preferred　leading　a　simple　and　wholesome　life　to　gadding　about　to　twopenny…halfpenny　tea…drinking　afternoons；　and　living　above　their　incomes。〃

I　was　immensely　pleased　with　these　sensible　remarks　of　Merton's；　and　concluded　that　subject　by　saying：　　〃No；　candidly；　Mr。　Merton；　we　don't　go　into　Society；　because　we　do　not　care　for　it；　and　what　with　the　expense　of　cabs　here　and　cabs　there；　and　white　gloves　and　white　ties；　etc。；　it　doesn't　seem　worth　the　money。〃

Merton　said　in　reference　to　FRIENDS：　　〃My　motto　is　'Few　and　True；'　and；　by　the　way；　I　also　apply　that　to　wine；　'Little　and　Good。'〃　Gowing　said：　　〃Yes；　and　sometimes　'cheap　and　tasty；'　eh；　old　man？〃　Merton；　still　continuing；　said　he　should　treat　me　as　a　friend；　and　put　me　down　for　a　dozen　of　his　〃Lockanbar〃　whisky；　and　as　I　was　an　old　friend　of　Gowing；　I　should　have　it　for　36s。；　which　was　considerably　under　what　he　paid　for　it。

He　booked　his　own　order；　and　further　said　that　at　any　time　I　wanted　any　passes　for　the　theatre　I　was　to　let　him　know；　as　his　name　stood　good　for　any　theatre　in　London。

April　20。　…　Carrie　reminded　me　that　as　her　old　school　friend；　Annie　Fullers　（now　Mrs。　James）；　and　her　husband　had　come　up　from　Sutton　for　a　few　days；　it　would　look　kind　to　take　them　to　the　theatre；　and　would　I　drop　a　line　to　Mr。　Merton　asking　him　for　passes　for　four；　either　for　the　Italian　Opera；　Haymarket；　Savoy；　or　Lyceum。　　I　wrote　Merton　to　that　effect。

April