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the lesson of the master-第15部分
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another look。 〃Do you mean to say you've stopped writing?〃
〃My dear fellow; of course I have。 It's too late。 Didn't I tell
you?〃
〃I can't believe it!〃
〃Of course you can't … with your own talent! No; no; for the rest
of my life I shall only read YOU。〃
〃Does she know that … Miss Fancourt?〃
〃She will … she will。〃 Did he mean this; our young man wondered;
as a covert intimation that the assistance he should derive from
that young lady's fortune; moderate as it was; would make the
difference of putting it in his power to cease to work ungratefully
an exhausted vein? Somehow; standing there in the ripeness of his
successful manhood; he didn't suggest that any of his veins were
exhausted。 〃Don't you remember the moral I offered myself to you
that night as pointing?〃 St。 George continued。 〃Consider at any
rate the warning I am at present。〃
This was too much … he WAS the mocking fiend。 Paul turned from him
with a mere nod for goodnight and the sense in a sore heart that he
might come back to him and his easy grace; his fine way of
arranging things; some time in the far future; but couldn't
fraternise with him now。 It was necessary to his soreness to
believe for the hour in the intensity of his grievance … all the
more cruel for its not being a legal one。 It was doubtless in the
attitude of hugging this wrong that he descended the stairs without
taking leave of Miss Fancourt; who hadn't been in view at the
moment he quitted the room。 He was glad to get out into the honest
dusky unsophisticating night; to move fast; to take his way home on
foot。 He walked a long time; going astray; paying no attention。
He was thinking of too many other things。 His steps recovered
their direction; however; and at the end of an hour he found
himself before his door in the small inexpensive empty street。 He
lingered; questioning himself still before going in; with nothing
around and above him but moonless blackness; a bad lamp or two and
a few far…away dim stars。 To these last faint features he raised
his eyes; he had been saying to himself that he should have been
〃sold〃 indeed; diabolically sold; if now; on his new foundation; at
the end of a year; St。 George were to put forth something of his
prime quality … something of the type of 〃Shadowmere〃 and finer
than his finest。 Greatly as he admired his talent Paul literally
hoped such an incident wouldn't occur; it seemed to him just then
that he shouldn't be able to bear it。 His late adviser's words
were still in his ears … 〃You're very strong; wonderfully strong。〃
Was he really? Certainly he would have to be; and it might a
little serve for revenge。 IS he? the reader may ask in turn; if
his interest has followed the perplexed young man so far。 The best
answer to that perhaps is that he's doing his best; but that it's
too soon to say。 When the new book came out in the autumn Mr。 and
Mrs。 St。 George found it really magnificent。 The former still has
published nothing but Paul doesn't even yet feel safe。 I may say
for him; however; that if this event were to occur he would really
be the very first to appreciate it: which is perhaps a proof that
the Master was essentially right and that Nature had dedicated him
to intellectual; not to personal passion。
End
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