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the bab ballads-第2部分

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〃My GENERAL JOHN; I swear upon

My oath I think 'tis so … 〃

〃Pish!〃 proudly sneered his GENERAL JOHN;

And he also said 〃Ho! ho!〃



〃My GENERAL JOHN! my GENERAL JOHN!

My GENERAL JOHN!〃 quoth he;

〃This aristocratical sneer upon

Your face I blush to see!



〃No truly great or generous cove

Deserving of them names;

Would sneer at a fixed idea that's drove

In the mind of a PRIVATE JAMES!〃



Said GENERAL JOHN; 〃Upon your claims

No need your breath to waste;

If this is a joke; FULL…PRIVATE JAMES;

It's a joke of doubtful taste。



〃But; being a man of doubtless worth;

If you feel certain quite

That we were probably changed at birth;

I'll venture to say you're right。〃



So GENERAL JOHN as PRIVATE JAMES

Fell in; parade upon;

And PRIVATE JAMES; by change of names;

Was MAJOR…GENERAL JOHN。







Ballad: To A Little Maid … By A Policeman







Come with me; little maid;

Nay; shrink not; thus afraid …

I'll harm thee not!

Fly not; my love; from me …

I have a home for thee …

A fairy grot;

Where mortal eye

Can rarely pry;

There shall thy dwelling be!



List to me; while I tell

The pleasures of that cell;

Oh; little maid!

What though its couch be rude;

Homely the only food

Within its shade?

No thought of care

Can enter there;

No vulgar swain intrude!



Come with me; little maid;

Come to the rocky shade

I love to sing;

Live with us; maiden rare …

Come; for we 〃want〃 thee there;

Thou elfin thing;

To work thy spell;

In some cool cell

In stately Pentonville!







Ballad: John And Freddy







JOHN courted lovely MARY ANN;

So likewise did his brother; FREDDY。

FRED was a very soft young man;

While JOHN; though quick; was most unsteady。



FRED was a graceful kind of youth;

But JOHN was very much the strongest。

〃Oh; dance away;〃 said she; 〃in truth;

I'll marry him who dances longest。〃



JOHN tries the maiden's taste to strike

With gay; grotesque; outrageous dresses;

And dances comically; like

CLODOCHE AND Co。; at the Princess's。



But FREDDY tries another style;

He knows some graceful steps and does 'em …

A breathing Poem … Woman's smile …

A man all poesy and buzzem。



Now FREDDY'S operatic PAS …

Now JOHNNY'S hornpipe seems entrapping:

Now FREDDY'S graceful ENTRECHATS …

Now JOHNNY'S skilful 〃cellar…flapping。〃



For many hours … for many days …

For many weeks performed each brother;

For each was active in his ways;

And neither would give in to t'other。



After a month of this; they say

(The maid was getting bored and moody)

A wandering curate passed that way

And talked a lot of goody…goody。



〃Oh my;〃 said he; with solemn frown;

〃I tremble for each dancing FRATER;

Like unregenerated clown

And harlequin at some the…ayter。〃



He showed that men; in dancing; do

Both impiously and absurdly;

And proved his proposition true;

With Firstly; Secondly; and Thirdly。



For months both JOHN and FREDDY danced;

The curate's protests little heeding;

For months the curate's words enhanced

The sinfulness of their proceeding。



At length they bowed to Nature's rule …

Their steps grew feeble and unsteady;

Till FREDDY fainted on a stool;

And JOHNNY on the top of FREDDY。



〃Decide!〃 quoth they; 〃let him be named;

Who henceforth as his wife may rank you。〃

〃I've changed my views;〃 the maiden said;

〃I only marry curates; thank you!〃



Says FREDDY; 〃Here is goings on!

To bust myself with rage I'm ready。〃

〃I'll be a curate!〃 whispers JOHN …

〃And I;〃 exclaimed poetic FREDDY。



But while they read for it; these chaps;

The curate booked the maiden bonny …

And when she's buried him; perhaps;

She'll marry FREDERICK or JOHNNY。







Ballad: Sir Guy The Crusader







Sir GUY was a doughty crusader;

A muscular knight;

Ever ready to fight;

A very determined invader;

And DICKEY DE LION'S delight。



LENORE was a Saracen maiden;

Brunette; statuesque;

The reverse of grotesque;

Her pa was a bagman from Aden;

Her mother she played in burlesque。



A CORYPHEE; pretty and loyal;

In amber and red

The ballet she led;

Her mother performed at the Royal;

LENORE at the Saracen's Head。



Of face and of figure majestic;

She dazzled the cits …

Ecstaticised pits; …

Her troubles were only domestic;

But drove her half out of her wits。



Her father incessantly lashed her;

On water and bread

She was grudgingly fed;

Whenever her father he thrashed her

Her mother sat down on her head。



GUY saw her; and loved her; with reason;

For beauty so bright

Sent him mad with delight;

He purchased a stall for the season;

And sat in it every night。



His views were exceedingly proper;

He wanted to wed;

So he called at her shed

And saw her progenitor whop her …

Her mother sit down on her head。



〃So pretty;〃 said he; 〃and so trusting!

You brute of a dad;

You unprincipled cad;

Your conduct is really disgusting;

Come; come; now admit it's too bad!



〃You're a turbaned old Turk; and malignant …

Your daughter LENORE

I intensely adore;

And I cannot help feeling indignant;

A fact that I hinted before;



〃To see a fond father employing

A deuce of a knout

For to bang her about;

To a sensitive lover's annoying。〃

Said the bagman; 〃Crusader; get out。〃



Says GUY; 〃Shall a warrior laden

With a big spiky knob;

Sit in peace on his cob

While a beautiful Saracen maiden

Is whipped by a Saracen snob?



〃To London I'll go from my charmer。〃

Which he did; with his loot

(Seven hats and a flute);

And was nabbed for his Sydenham armour

At MR。 BEN…SAMUEL'S suit。



SIR GUY he was lodged in the Compter;

Her pa; in a rage;

Died (don't know his age);

His daughter; she married the prompter;

Grew bulky and quitted the stage。







Ballad: Haunted







Haunted?  Ay; in a social way

By a body of ghosts in dread array;

But no conventional spectres they …

Appalling; grim; and tricky:

I quail at mine as I'd never quail

At a fine traditional spectre pale;

With a turnip head and a ghostly wail;

And a splash of blood on the dickey!



Mine are horrible; social ghosts; …

Speeches and women and guests and hosts;

Weddings and morning calls and toasts;

In every bad variety:

Ghosts who hover about the grave

Of all that's manly; free; and brave:

You'll find their names on the architrave

Of that charnel…house; Society。



Black Monday … black as its school…room ink …

With its dismal boys that snivel and think

Of its nauseous messes to eat and drink;

And its frozen tank to wash in。

That was the first that brought me grief;

And made me weep; till I sought relief

In an emblematical handkerchief;

To choke such baby bosh in。



First and worst in the grim array…

Ghosts of ghosts that have gone their way;

Which I wouldn't revive for a single day

For all the wealth of PLUTUS …

Are the horrible ghosts that school…days scared:

If the classical ghost that BRUTUS dared

Was the ghost of his 〃Caesar〃 unprepared;

I'm sure I pity BRUTUS。



I pass to critical seventeen;

The ghost of that terrible wedding scene;

When an elderly Colonel stole my Queen;

And woke my dream of heaven。

No schoolgirl decked in her nurse…room curls

Was my gushing innocent Queen of Pearls;

If she wasn't a girl of a thousand girls;

She was one of forty…seven!



I see the ghost of my first cigar;

Of the thence…arising family jar …

Of my maiden brief (I was at the Bar;

And I called the Judge 〃Your wushup!〃)

Of reckless days and reckless nights;

With wrenched…off knockers; extinguished lights;

Unholy songs and tipsy fights;

Which I strove in vain to hush up。



Ghosts of fraudulent joint…stock banks;

Ghosts of 〃copy; declined with thanks;〃

Of novels returned in endless ranks;

And thousands more; I suffer。

The only line to fitly grace

My humble tomb; when I've run my race;

Is; 〃Reader; this is the resting…place

Of an unsuccessful duffer。〃



I've fought them all; these ghosts of mine;

But the weapons I've used are sighs and brine;

And now that I'm nearly forty…nine;

Old age is my chiefest bogy;

For my hair is thinning away at the crown;

And the silver fights with the worn…out brown;

And a general verdict sets me down

As an irreclaimable fogy。







Ballad: The Bishop And The 'Busman







It was a Bishop bold;

And London was his see;

He was short and stout and round about

And zealous as could be。



It also was a Jew;

Who drove a Putney 'bus …

For flesh of swine however fine

He did not care a cuss。



His name was HASH BAZ BEN;

And JEDEDIAH too;

And SOLOMON and ZABULON …

This 'bus…directing Jew。



The Bishop said; said he;

〃I'll see what I can do

To Christianise and make you wise;

You poor benighted Jew。〃



So every blessed day

That 'bus he rode outside;

From Fulham town; both up and down;

And loudly thus he cried:



〃His name is HASH BAZ BEN;

And JEDEDIAH too;

And SOLOMON and ZABULON …

This 'bus…directing Jew。〃



At first the 'busman smiled;

And rather liked the fun …

He merely smiled; that Hebrew child;

And said; 〃Eccentric one!〃



And gay young dogs would wait

To see the 'bus go by

(These gay young dogs; in striking togs);

To hear the Bishop cry:



〃Observe his grisly beard;

His race it clearly shows;

He sticks no fork in ham or pork …

Observe; my friends; his nose。



〃His name is HASH BAZ BEN;

And JEDEDIAH too;

And SOLOMON and ZABULON …

This 'bus…directing Jew。〃



But though at first amused;

Yet after seven years;

This Hebrew child got rather riled;

And melted into tears。



He really almost feared

To leave his poor abode;

His nose; and name; and beard became

A byword on that road。



At length he swore an oath;

The reaso
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