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the bab ballads-第8部分
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Two maidens all others beyond
Endeavoured his cares to dispel …
The one was the lively ANN POND;
The other sad MARY MORELL。
ANN POND had determined to try
And carry the Earl with a rush;
Her principal feature was eye;
Her greatest accomplishment … gush。
And MARY chose this for her play:
Whenever he looked in her eye
She'd blush and turn quickly away;
And flitter; and flutter; and sigh。
It was noticed he constantly sighed
As she worked out the scheme she had planned;
A fact he endeavoured to hide
With his aristocratical hand。
Old POND was a farmer; they say;
And so was old TOMMY MORELL。
In a humble and pottering way
They were doing exceedingly well。
They both of them carried by vote
The Earl was a dangerous man;
So nervously clearing his throat;
One morning old TOMMY began:
〃My darter's no pratty young doll …
I'm a plain…spoken Zommerzet man …
Now what do 'ee mean by my POLL;
And what do 'ee mean by his ANN?
Said B。; 〃I will give you my bond
I mean them uncommonly well;
Believe me; my excellent POND;
And credit me; worthy MORELL。
〃It's quite indisputable; for
I'll prove it with singular ease; …
You shall have it in 'Barbara' or
'Celarent' … whichever you please。
'You see; when an anchorite bows
To the yoke of intentional sin;
If the state of the country allows;
Homogeny always steps in …
〃It's a highly aesthetical bond;
As any mere ploughboy can tell … 〃
〃Of course;〃 replied puzzled old POND。
〃I see;〃 said old TOMMY MORELL。
〃Very good; then;〃 continued the lord;
〃When it's fooled to the top of its bent;
With a sweep of a Damocles sword
The web of intention is rent。
〃That's patent to all of us here;
As any mere schoolboy can tell。〃
POND answered; 〃Of course it's quite clear〃;
And so did that humbug MORELL。
〃Its tone's esoteric in force …
I trust that I make myself clear?〃
MORELL only answered; 〃Of course;〃
While POND slowly muttered; 〃Hear; hear。〃
〃Volition … celestial prize;
Pellucid as porphyry cell …
Is based on a principle wise。〃
〃Quite so;〃 exclaimed POND and MORELL。
〃From what I have said you will see
That I couldn't wed either … in fine;
By Nature's unchanging decree
YOUR daughters could never be MINE。
〃Go home to your pigs and your ricks;
My hands of the matter I've rinsed。〃
So they take up their hats and their sticks; 。
And EXEUNT AMBO; convinced。
Ballad: The Ghost; The Gallant; The Gael; And The Goblin
O'er unreclaimed suburban clays
Some years ago were hobblin'
An elderly ghost of easy ways;
And an influential goblin。
The ghost was a sombre spectral shape;
A fine old five…act fogy;
The goblin imp; a lithe young ape;
A fine low…comedy bogy。
And as they exercised their joints;
Promoting quick digestion;
They talked on several curious points;
And raised this delicate question:
〃Which of us two is Number One …
The ghostie; or the goblin?〃
And o'er the point they raised in fun
They fairly fell a…squabblin'。
They'd barely speak; and each; in fine;
Grew more and more reflective:
Each thought his own particular line
By chalks the more effective。
At length they settled some one should
By each of them be haunted;
And so arrange that either could
Exert his prowess vaunted。
〃The Quaint against the Statuesque〃 …
By competition lawful …
The goblin backed the Quaint Grotesque;
The ghost the Grandly Awful。
〃Now;〃 said the goblin; 〃here's my plan …
In attitude commanding;
I see a stalwart Englishman
By yonder tailor's standing。
〃The very fittest man on earth
My influence to try on …
Of gentle; p'r'aps of noble birth;
And dauntless as a lion!
Now wrap yourself within your shroud …
Remain in easy hearing …
Observe … you'll hear him scream aloud
When I begin appearing!
The imp with yell unearthly … wild …
Threw off his dark enclosure:
His dauntless victim looked and smiled
With singular composure。
For hours he tried to daunt the youth;
For days; indeed; but vainly …
The stripling smiled! … to tell the truth;
The stripling smiled inanely。
For weeks the goblin weird and wild;
That noble stripling haunted;
For weeks the stripling stood and smiled;
Unmoved and all undaunted。
The sombre ghost exclaimed; 〃Your plan
Has failed you; goblin; plainly:
Now watch yon hardy Hieland man;
So stalwart and ungainly。
〃These are the men who chase the roe;
Whose footsteps never falter;
Who bring with them; where'er they go;
A smack of old SIR WALTER。
Of such as he; the men sublime
Who lead their troops victorious;
Whose deeds go down to after…time;
Enshrined in annals glorious!
〃Of such as he the bard has said
'Hech thrawfu' raltie rorkie!
Wi' thecht ta' croonie clapperhead
And fash' wi' unco pawkie!'
He'll faint away when I appear;
Upon his native heather;
Or p'r'aps he'll only scream with fear;
Or p'r'aps the two together。〃
The spectre showed himself; alone;
To do his ghostly battling;
With curdling groan and dismal moan;
And lots of chains a…rattling!
But no … the chiel's stout Gaelic stuff
Withstood all ghostly harrying;
His fingers closed upon the snuff
Which upwards he was carrying。
For days that ghost declined to stir;
A foggy shapeless giant …
For weeks that splendid officer
Stared back again defiant。
Just as the Englishman returned
The goblin's vulgar staring;
Just so the Scotchman boldly spurned
The ghost's unmannered scaring。
For several years the ghostly twain
These Britons bold have haunted;
But all their efforts are in vain …
Their victims stand undaunted。
This very day the imp; and ghost;
Whose powers the imp derided;
Stand each at his allotted post …
The bet is undecided。
Ballad: The Phantom Curate。 A Fable
A BISHOP once … I will not name his see …
Annoyed his clergy in the mode conventional;
From pulpit shackles never set them free;
And found a sin where sin was unintentional。
All pleasures ended in abuse auricular …
The Bishop was so terribly particular。
Though; on the whole; a wise and upright man;
He sought to make of human pleasures clearances;
And form his priests on that much…lauded plan
Which pays undue attention to appearances。
He couldn't do good deeds without a psalm in 'em;
Although; in truth; he bore away the palm in 'em。
Enraged to find a deacon at a dance;
Or catch a curate at some mild frivolity;
He sought by open censure to enhance
Their dread of joining harmless social jollity。
Yet he enjoyed (a fact of notoriety)
The ordinary pleasures of society。
One evening; sitting at a pantomime
(Forbidden treat to those who stood in fear of him);
Roaring at jokes; SANS metre; sense; or rhyme;
He turned; and saw immediately in rear of him;
His peace of mind upsetting; and annoying it;
A curate; also heartily enjoying it。
Again; 't was Christmas Eve; and to enhance
His children's pleasure in their harmless rollicking;
He; like a good old fellow; stood to dance;
When something checked the current of his frolicking:
That curate; with a maid he treated lover…ly;
Stood up and figured with him in the 〃Coverley!〃
Once; yielding to an universal choice
(The company's demand was an emphatic one;
For the old Bishop had a glorious voice);
In a quartet he joined … an operatic one。
Harmless enough; though ne'er a word of grace in it;
When; lo! that curate came and took the bass in it!
One day; when passing through a quiet street;
He stopped awhile and joined a Punch's gathering;
And chuckled more than solemn folk think meet;
To see that gentleman his Judy lathering;
And heard; as Punch was being treated penalty;
That phantom curate laughing all hyaenally。
Now at a picnic; 'mid fair golden curls;
Bright eyes; straw hats; BOTTINES that fit amazingly;
A croquet…bout is planned by all the girls;
And he; consenting; speaks of croquet praisingly;
But suddenly declines to play at all in it …
The curate fiend has come to take a ball in it!
Next; when at quiet sea…side village; freed
From cares episcopal and ties monarchical;
He grows his beard; and smokes his fragrant weed;
In manner anything but hierarchical …
He sees … and fixes an unearthly stare on it …
That curate's face; with half a yard of hair on it!
At length he gave a charge; and spake this word:
〃Vicars; your curates to enjoyment urge ye may;
To check their harmless pleasuring's absurd;
What laymen do without reproach; my clergy may。〃
He spake; and lo! at this concluding word of him;
The curate vanished … no one since has heard of him。
Ballad: The Sensation Captain
No nobler captain ever trod
Than CAPTAIN PARKLEBURY TODD;
So good … so wise … so brave; he!
But still; as all his friends would own;
He had one folly … one alone …
This Captain in the Navy。
I do not think I ever knew
A man so wholly given to
Creating a sensation;
Or p'raps I should in justice say …
To what in an Adelphi play
Is known as 〃situation。〃
He passed his time designing traps
To flurry unsuspicious chaps …
The taste was his innately;
He couldn't walk into a room
Without ejaculating 〃Boom!〃
Which startled ladies greatly。
He'd wear a mask and muffling cloak;
Not; you will understand; in joke;
As some assume disguises;
He did it; actuated by
A simple love of mystery
And fondness for surprises。
I need not say he loved a maid …
His eloquence threw into shade
All others who adored her。
The maid; though pleased at first; I know;
Found; after several years or so;
Her startling lover bored her。
So; when his orders came to sail;
She did not faint or scream or wail;
Or with her tears anoint him:
She shook his hand; and said 〃Good…bye;〃
With laughter da
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