fantastic fables-第12部分

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〃There　are　malevolent　forces；〃　said　the　Opossum；　〃which　the　wise　



will　neither　confront　nor　avoid。　　The　thing　is　to　know　the　nature　



of　your　antagonist。〃







So　saying　the　Opossum　lay　down　and　pretended　to　be　dead。















The　Boneless　King















SOME　Apes　who　had　deposed　their　king　fell　at　once　into　dissension　



and　anarchy。　　In　this　strait　they　sent　a　Deputation　to　a　



neighbouring　tribe　to　consult　the　Oldest　and　Wisest　Ape　in　All　the　



World。







〃My　children；〃　said　the　Oldest　and　Wisest　Ape　in　All　the　World；　



when　he　had　heard　the　Deputation；　〃you　did　right　in　ridding　



yourselves　of　tyranny；　but　your　tribe　is　not　sufficiently　advanced　



to　dispense　with　the　forms　of　monarchy。　　Entice　the　tyrant　back　



with　fair　promises；　kill　him　and　enthrone。　　The　skeleton　of　even　



the　most　lawless　despot　makes　a　good　constitutional　sovereign。〃







At　this　the　Deputation　was　greatly　abashed。　　〃It　is　impossible；〃　



they　said；　moving　away；　〃our　king　has　no　skeleton；　he　was　stuffed。〃















Uncalculating　Zeal















A　MAN…EATING　tiger　was　ravaging　the　Kingdom　of　Damnasia；　and　the　



King；　greatly　concerned　for　the　lives　and　limbs　of　his　Royal　



subjects；　promised　his　daughter　Zodroulra　to　any　man　who　would　kill　



the　animal。　　After　some　days　Camaraladdin　appeared　before　the　King　



and　claimed　the　reward。







〃But　where　is　the　tiger？〃　the　King　asked。







〃May　jackasses　sing　above　my　uncle's　grave；〃　replied　Camaraladdin；　



〃if　I　dared　go　within　a　league　of　him！〃







〃Wretch！〃　cried　the　King；　unsheathing　his　consoler…under…



disappointment；　〃how　dare　you　claim　my　daughter　when　you　have　done　



nothing　to　earn　her？〃







〃Thou　art　wiser；　O　King；　than　Solyman　the　Great；　and　thy　servant　is　



as　dust　in　the　tomb　of　thy　dog；　yet　thou　errest。　　I　did　not；　it　is　



true；　kill　the　tiger；　but　behold！　　I　have　brought　thee　the　scalp　of　



the　man　who　had　accumulated　five　million　pieces　of　gold　and　was　



after　more。〃







The　King　drew　his　consoler…under…disappointment；　and；　flicking　off　



Camaraladdin's　head；　said：







〃Learn；　caitiff；　the　expediency　of　uncalculating　zeal。　　If　the　



millionaire　had　been　let　alone　he　would　have　devoured　the　tiger。〃















A　Transposition















TRAVELLING　through　the　sage…brush　country　a　Jackass　met　a　rabbit；　



who　exclaimed　in　great　astonishment：







〃Good　heavens！　how　did　you　grow　so　big？　　You　are　doubtless　the　



largest　rabbit　living。〃







〃No；〃　said　the　Jackass；　〃you　are　the　smallest　donkey。〃







After　a　good　deal　of　fruitless　argument　the　question　was　referred　



for　decision　to　a　passing　Coyote；　who　was　a　bit　of　a　demagogue　and　



desirous　to　stand　well　with　both。







〃Gentlemen；〃　said　he；　〃you　are　both　right；　as　was　to　have　been　



expected　by　persons　so　gifted　with　appliances　for　receiving　



instruction　from　the　wise。　　You；　sir；〃　…　turning　to　the　superior　



animal　…　〃are；　as　he　has　accurately　observed；　a　rabbit。　　And　you〃　…　



to　the　other　…　〃are　correctly　described　as　a　jackass。　　In　



transposing　your　names　man　has　acted　with　incredible　folly。〃







They　were　so　pleased　with　the　decision　that　they　declared　the　



Coyote　their　candidate　for　the　Grizzly　Bearship；　but　whether　he　



ever　obtained　the　office　history　does　not　relate。















The　Honest　Citizen















A　POLITICAL　Preferment；　labelled　with　its　price；　was　canvassing　the　



State　to　find　a　purchaser。　　One　day　it　offered　itself　to　a　Truly　



Good　Man；　who；　after　examining　the　label　and　finding　the　price　was　



exactly　twice　as　great　as　he　was　willing　to　pay；　spurned　the　



Political　Preferment　from　his　door。　　Then　the　People　said：　〃Behold；　



this　is　an　honest　citizen！〃　　And　the　Truly　Good　Man　humbly　



confessed　that　it　was　so。















A　Creaking　Tail















AN　American　Statesman　who　had　twisted　the　tail　of　the　British　Lion　



until　his　arms　ached　was　at　last　rewarded　by　a　sharp；　rasping　



sound。







〃I　knew　your　fortitude　would　give　out　after　a　while；〃　said　the　



American　Statesman；　delighted；　〃your　agony　attests　my　political　



power。〃







〃Agony　I　know　not！〃　said　the　British　Lion；　yawning；　〃the　swivel　in　



my　tail　needs　a　few　drops　of　oil；　that　is　all。〃















Wasted　Sweets















A　CANDIDATE　canvassing　his　district　met　a　Nurse　wheeling　a　Baby　in　



a　carriage；　and；　stooping；　imprinted　a　kiss　upon　the　Baby's　clammy　



muzzle。　　Rising；　he　saw　a　Man；　who　laughed。







〃Why　do　you　laugh？〃　asked　the　Candidate。







〃Because；〃　replied　the　Man；　〃the　Baby　belongs　to　the　Orphan　



Asylum。〃







〃But　the　Nurse；〃　said　the　Candidate　…　〃the　Nurse　will　surely　relate　



the　touching　incident　wherever　she　goes；　and　perhaps　write　to　her　



former　master。〃







〃The　Nurse；〃　said　the　Man　who　had　laughed；　〃is　an　inmate　of　the　



Institution　for　the　Illiterate…Deaf…and…Dumb。〃















Six　and　One















THE　Committee　on　Gerrymander　worked　late；　drawing　intricate　lines　



on　a　map　of　the　State；　and　being　weary　sought　repose　in　a　game　of　



poker。　　At　the　close　of　the　game　the　six　Republican　members　were　



bankrupt　and　the　single　Democrat　had　all　the　money。　　On　the　next　



day；　when　the　Committee　was　called　to　order　for　business；　one　of　



the　luckless　six　mounted　his　legs；　and　said：







〃Mr。　Chairman；　before　we　bend　to　our　noble　task　of　purifying　



politics；　in　the　interest　of　good　government　I　wish　to　say　a　word　



of　the　untoward　events　of　last　evening。　　If　my　memory　serves　me　the　



disasters　which　overtook　the　Majority　of　this　honourable　body　



always　befell　when　it　was　the　Minority's　deal。　　It　is　my　solemn　



conviction；　Mr。　Chairman；　and　to　its　affirmation　I　pledge　my　life；　



my　fortune；　and　my　sacred　honour；　that　that　wicked　and　unscrupulous　



Minority　redistricted　the　cards！〃















The　Sportsman　and　the　Squirrel















A　SPORTSMAN　who　had　wounded　a　Squirrel；　which　was　making　desperate　



efforts　to　drag　itself　away；　ran　after　it　with　a　stick；　exclaiming：







〃Poor　thing！　　I　will　put　it　out　of　its　misery。〃







At　that　moment　the　Squirrels　stopped　from　exhaustion；　and　looking　



up　at　its　enemy；　said：







〃I　don't　venture　to　doubt　the　sincerity　of　your　compassion；　though　



it　comes　rather　late；　but　you　seem　to　lack　the　faculty　of　



observation。　　Do　you　not　perceive　by　my　actions　that　the　dearest　



wish　of　my　heart　is　to　continue　in　my　misery？〃







At　this　exposure　of　his　hypocrisy；　the　Sportsman　was　so　overcome　



with　shame　and　remorse　that　he　would　not　strike　the　Squirrel；　but　



pointing　it　out　to　his　dog；　walked　thoughtfully　away。















The　Fogy　and　the　Sheik















A　FOGY　who　lived　in　a　cave　near　a　great　caravan　route　returned　to　



his　home　one　day　and　saw；　near　by；　a　great　concourse　of　men　and　



animals；　and　in　their　midst　a　tower；　at　the　foot　of　which　something　



with　wheels　smoked　and　panted　like　an　exhausted　horse。　　He　sought　



the　Sheik　of　the　Outfit。







〃What　sin　art　thou　committing　now；　O　son　of　a　Christian　dog？〃　said　



the　Fogy；　with　a　truly　Oriental　politeness。







〃Boring　for　water；　you　black…and…tan　galoot！〃　replied　the　Sheik　of　



the　Outfit；　with　that　ready　repartee　which　distinguishes　the　



Unbeliever。







〃Knowest　thou　not；　thou　whelp　of　darkness　and　father　of　disordered　



livers；〃　cried　the　Fogy；　〃that　water　will　cause　grass　to　spring　up　



here；　and　trees；　and　possibly　even　flowers？　　Knowest　thou　not；　that　



thou　art；　in　truth；　producing　an　oasis？〃







〃And　don't　you　know；〃　said　the　Sheik　of　the　Outfit；　〃that　caravans　



will　then　stop　here　for　rest　and　refreshments；　giving　you　a　chance　



to　steal　the　camels；　the　horses；　and　the　goods？〃







〃May　the　wild　hog　defile　my　grave；　but　thou　speakest　wisdom！〃　the　



Fogy　replied；　with　the　dignity　of　his　race；　extending　his　hand。　　



〃Sheik。〃







They　shook。















At　Heaven's　Gate















HAVING　arisen　from　the　tomb；　a　Woman　presented　herself　at　the　gate　



of　Heaven；　and　knocked　with　a　trembling　hand。







〃Madam；〃　said　Saint　Peter；　rising　and　approaching　the　wicket；　



〃whence　do　you　come？〃







〃From　San　Francisco；〃　replied　the　Woman；　with　embarrassment；　as　



great　beads　of　perspiration　spangled　her　spiritual　brow。







〃Never　mind；　my　good　girl；〃　the　Saint　said；　compassionately。　　



〃Eternity　is　a　long　time；　you　can　live　that　down。〃







〃But　that；　if　you　please；　is　not　all。〃　　The　Woman　was　growing　more　



and　more　confused。　　〃I　poisoned　my　husband。　　I　chopped　up　my　



babies。　　I　…　〃







〃Ah；〃　said　the　Saint；　with　sudden　austerity；　〃your　confession　



suggests　a　very　grave　possibility。　　Were　you　a　member　of　the　



Women's　Press　Association？〃







The　lady　drew　herself　up　and　replied　with　warmth：







〃I　was　not。〃







The　gates　of　pearl　and　jasper　swung　back　upon　their　golden　hinges；　



making　the　most　ravishing　music；　and　the　Saint；　stepping　aside；　



bowed　low；　saying：







〃Enter；　then；　into　thine　eternal　rest。〃







But　the　Woman　hesitated。







〃The　poisoning　…　the　chopping　…　the　…　the　…　〃　she　stammered。







〃Of　no　consequence；　I　assure　you。　　We　are　not　going　to　be　hard　on　a　



lady　who　did　not　belong　to　the　Women's　Press　Association。　　Take　a　



harp。〃







〃But　I　applied　for　membership　…　I　was　blackballed。〃







〃Take　two　harps。〃















The　Catted　Anarchist















AN　Anarchist　Orator　who　had　been　struck　in　the　face　with　a　Dead　Cat　



by　some　Respector　of　Law　to　him　unknown；　had　the　Dead　Cat　arrested　



and　taken　before　a　Magistrate。







〃Why　do　you　appeal　to　the　law？〃　said　the　Magistrate　…　〃You　who　go　



in　for　the　abo