fantastic fables-第16部分

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bitterly　malevolent　but　oleaginuously　suave；　〃I'd　fan　all　yours　out　



of　the　universe。〃















The　Desperate　Object















A　DISHONEST　Gain　was　driving　in　its　luxurious　carriage　through　its　



private　park；　when　it　saw　something　which　frantically　and　



repeatedly　ran　against　a　stone　wall；　endeavouring　to　butt　out　its　



brains。







〃Hold！　　Hold！　thou　desperate　Object；〃　cried　the　Dishonest　Gain；　



〃these　beautiful　private　grounds　are　no　place　for　such　work　as　



thine。〃







〃True；〃　said　the　Object；　pausing；　〃I　have　other　and　better　grounds　



for　it。〃







〃Then　thou　art　a　happy　man；〃　said　the　Dishonest　Gain；　〃and　thy　



bleeding　head　is　but　mere　dissembling。　　Who　art　thou；　great　actor？〃







〃I　am　known；〃　said　the　Object；　dashing　itself　again　at　the　wall；　



〃as　the　Consciousness　of　Duty　Well　Performed。〃















The　Appropriate　Memorial















A　HIGH　Public　Functionary　having　died；　the　citizens　of　his　town　



held　a　meeting　to　consider　how　to　honour　his　memory；　and　an　Other　



High　Public　Functionary　rose　and　addressed　the　meeting。







〃Mr。　Chairman　and　Gintlemen；〃　said　the　Other；　〃it　sames　to　me；　and　



I'm　hopin'　yez　wull　approve　the　suggistion；　that　an　appropriet　way　



to　honour　the　mimory　of　the　decaised　would　be　to　erect　an　emolument　



sootably　inscribed　wid　his　vartues。〃







The　soul　of　the　great　man　looked　down　from　Heaven　and　wept。















A　Needless　Labour















AFTER　waiting　many　a　weary　day　to　revenge　himself　upon　a　Lion　for　



some　unconsidered　manifestation　of　contempt；　a　Skunk　finally　saw　



him　coming；　and　posting　himself　in　the　path　ahead　uttered　the　



inaudible　discord　of　his　race。　　Observing　that　the　Lion　gave　no　



attention　to　the　matter；　the　Skunk；　keeping　carefully　out　of　reach；　



said：







〃Sir；　I　beg　leave　to　point　out　that　I　have　set　on　foot　an　



implacable　odour。〃







〃My　dear　fellow；〃　the　Lion　replied；　〃you　have　taken　a　needless　



trouble；　I　already　knew　that　you　were　a　Skunk。〃















A　Flourishing　Industry















〃ARE　the　industries　of　this　country　in　a　flourishing　condition？〃　



asked　a　Traveller　from　a　Foreign　Land　of　the　first　man　he　met　in　



America。







〃Splendid！〃　said　the　Man。　　〃I　have　more　orders　than　I　can　fill。〃







〃What　is　your　business？〃　the　Traveller　from　a　Foreign　Land　



inquired。







The　Man　replied；　〃I　make　boxing…gloves　for　the　tongues　of　



pugilists。〃















The　Self…Made　Monkey















A　MAN　of　humble　birth　and　no　breading；　who　held　a　high　political　



office；　was　passing　through　a　forest；　when　he　met　a　Monkey。







〃I　take　it　you　are　one　of　my　constituents；〃　the　Man　said。







〃No；〃　replied　the　Monkey；　〃but　I　will　support　you　if　you　can　urge　a　



valid　claim　to　my　approval。〃







〃I　am　a　self…made　man；〃　said　the　other；　proudly。







〃That　is　nothing；〃　the　Monkey　said。　　And　going　to　a　bigger　pine；　he　



rose　by　his　own　unaided　exertions　to　the　top　branch；　where　he　sat；　



all　bedaubed　with　the　pitch　which　that　vegetable　exudes。　　〃Now；〃　he　



added；　〃I　am　a　self…made　Monkey。〃















The　Patriot　and　the　Banker















A　PATRIOT　who　had　taken　office　poor　and　retired　rich　was　introduced　



at　a　bank　where　he　desired　to　open　an　account。







〃With　pleasure；〃　said　the　Honest　Banker；　〃we　shall　be　glad　to　do　



business　with　you；　but　first　you　must　make　yourself　an　honest　man　



by　restoring　what　you　stole　from　the　Government。〃







〃Good　heavens！〃　cried　the　Patriot；　〃if　I　do　that；　I　shall　have　



nothing　to　deposit　with　you。〃







〃I　don't　see　that；〃　the　Honest　Banker　replied。　　〃We　are　not　the　



whole　American　people。〃







〃Ah；　I　understand；〃　said　the　Patriot；　musing。　　〃At　what　sum　do　you　



estimate　this　bank's　proportion　of　the　country's　loss　by　me？〃







〃About　a　dollar；〃　answered　the　Honest　Banker。







And　with　a　proud　consciousness　of　serving　his　country　wisely　and　



well　he　charged　that　sum　to　the　account。















The　Mourning　Brothers















OBSERVING　that　he　was　about　to　die；　an　Old　Man　called　his　two　Sons　



to　his　bedside　and　expounded　the　situation。







〃My　children；〃　said　he；　〃you　have　not　shown　me　many　marks　of　



respect　during　my　life；　but　you　will　attest　your　sorrow　for　my　



death。　　To　him　who　the　longer　wears　a　weed　upon　his　hat　in　memory　



of　me　shall　go　my　entire　fortune。　　I　have　made　a　will　to　that　



effect。〃







So　when　the　Old　Man　was　dead　each　of　the　youths　put　a　weed　upon　his　



hat　and　wore　it　until　he　was　himself　old；　when；　seeing　that　neither　



would　give　in；　they　agreed　that　the　younger　should　leave　off　his　



weeds　and　the　elder　give　him　half　of　the　estate。　　But　when　the　



elder　applied　for　the　property　he　found　that　there　had　been　an　



Executor！







Thus　were　hypocrisy　and　obstinacy　fitly　punished。















The　Disinterested　Arbiter















TWO　Dogs　who　had　been　fighting　for　a　bone；　without　advantage　to　



either；　referred　their　dispute　to　a　Sheep。　　The　Sheep　patiently　



heard　their　statements；　then　flung　the　bone　into　a　pond。







〃Why　did　you　do　that？〃　said　the　Dogs。







〃Because；〃　replied　the　Sheep；　〃I　am　a　vegetarian。〃















The　Thief　and　the　Honest　Man















A　THIEF　who　had　brought　a　suit　against　his　accomplices　to　recover　



his　share　of　the　plunder　taken　from　an　Honest　Man；　demanded　the　



Honest　Man's　attendance　at　the　trial　to　testify　to　his　loss。　　But　



the　Honest　Man　explained　that　as　he　was　merely　the　agent　of　a　



company　of　other　honest　men　it　was　none　of　his　affair；　and　when　the　



officers　came　to　serve　him　with　a　subpoena　he　hid　himself　behind　



his　back　and　wiled　away　the　dragging　hours　of　retirement　and　



inaction　by　picking　his　own　pockets。















The　Dutiful　Son















A　MILLIONAIRE　who　had　gone　to　an　almshouse　to　visit　his　father　met　



a　Neighbour　there；　who　was　greatly　surprised。







〃What！〃　said　the　Neighbour；　〃you　do　sometimes　visit　your　father？〃







〃If　our　situations　were　reversed；〃　said　the　Millionaire；　〃I　am　sure　



he　would　visit　me。　　The　old　man　has　always　been　rather　proud　of　me。　　



Besides；〃　he　added；　softly；　〃I　had　to　have　his　signature；　I　am　



insuring　his　life。〃



















AESOPUS　EMENDATUS



















The　Cat　and　the　Youth















A　CAT　fell　in　love　with　a　handsome　Young　Man；　and　entreated　Venus　



to　change　her　into　a　woman。







〃I　should　think；〃　said　Venus；　〃you　might　make　so　trifling　a　change　



without　bothering　me。　　However；　be　a　woman。〃







Afterward；　wishing　to　see　if　the　change　were　complete；　Venus　caused　



a　mouse　to　approach；　whereupon　the　woman　shrieked　and　made　such　a　



show　of　herself　that　the　Young　Man　would　not　marry　her。















The　Farmer　and　His　Sons















A　FARMER　being　about　to　die；　and　knowing　that　during　his　illness　



his　Sons　had　permitted　the　vineyard　to　become　overgrown　with　weeds　



while　they　improved　the　shining　hour　by　gambling　with　the　doctor；　



said　to　them：







〃My　boys；　there　is　a　great　treasure　buried　in　the　vineyard。　　You　



dig　in　the　ground　until　you　find　it。〃







So　the　Sons　dug　up　all　the　weeds；　and　all　the　vines　too；　and　even　



neglected　to　bury　the　old　man。















Jupiter　and　the　Baby　Show















JUPITER　held　a　baby　show；　open　to　all　animals；　and　a　Monkey　entered　



her　hideous　cub　for　a　prize；　but　Jupiter　only　laughed　at　her。







〃It　is　all　very　well；〃　said　the　Monkey；　〃to　laugh　at　my　offspring；　



but　you　go　into　any　gallery　of　antique　sculpture　and　look　at　the　



statues　and　busts　of　the　fellows　that　you　begot　yourself。〃







〃'Sh！　don't　expose　me；〃　said　Jupiter；　and　awarded　her　the　first　



prize。















The　Man　and　the　Dog















A　MAN　who　had　been　bitten　by　a　Dog　was　told　that　the　wound　would　



heal　if　he　would　dip　a　piece　of　bread　in　the　blood　and　give　it　to　



the　Dog。　　He　did　so。







〃No；〃　said　the　Dog；　〃if　I　were　to　accept　that；　it　might　be　thought　



that　in　biting　you　I　was　actuated　by　improper　motives。〃







〃And　by　what　motives　were　you　actuated？〃　asked　the　Man。







〃I　desired；〃　replied　the　Dog；　〃merely　to　harmonise　myself　with　the　



Divine　Scheme　of　Things。　　I'm　a　child　of　Nature。〃















The　Cat　and　the　Birds















HEARING　that　the　Birds　in　an　aviary　were　ill；　a　Cat　went　to　them　



and　said　that　he　was　a　physician；　and　would　cure　them　if　they　would　



let　him　in。







〃To　what　school　of　medicine　do　you　belong？〃　asked　the　Birds。







〃I　am　a　Miaulopathist；〃　said　the　Cat。







〃Did　you　ever　practise　Gohomoeopathy？〃　the　Birds　inquired；　winking　



faintly。







The　Cat　took　the　hint　and　his　leave。















Mercury　and　the　Woodchopper















A　WOODCHOPPER；　who　had　dropped　his　axe　into　a　deep　pool；　besought　



Mercury　to　recover　it　for　him。　　That　thoughtless　deity　immediately　



plunged　into　the　pool；　which　became　so　salivated　that　the　trees　



about　its　margin　all　came　loose　and　dropped　out。















The　Fox　and　the　Grapes















A　FOX；　seeing　some　sour　grapes　hanging　within　an　inch　of　his　nose；　



and　being　unwilling　to　admit　that　there　was　anything　he　would　not　



eat；　solemnly　declared　that　they　were　out　of　his　reach。















The　Penitent　Thief















A　BOY　who　had　been　taught　by　his　Mother　to　steal　grew　to　be　a　man　



and　was　a　professional　public　official。　　One　day　he　was　taken　in　



the　act　and　condemned　to　die。　　While　going　to　the　place　of　



execution　he　passed　his　Mother　and　said　to　her：







〃Behold　your　work！　　If　you　had　not　taught　me