fantastic fables-第4部分

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arrested　as　a　necessitator　of　ordinances；　and　taken　before　the　



King。







〃Who　are　you；〃　said　the　King；　〃and　what　is　your　business　in　life？〃







〃Snouter　the　Sneak；〃　replied　the　Object；　with　ready　invention；　



〃pick…pocket。〃







The　King　was　about　to　command　him　to　be　released　when　the　Prime　



Minister　suggested　that　the　prisoner's　fingers　be　examined。　　They　



were　found　greatly　flattened　and　calloused　at　the　ends。







〃Ha！〃　cried　the　King；　〃I　told　you　so！　…　he　is　addicted　to　counting　



syllables。　　This　is　a　poet。　　Turn　him　over　to　the　Lord　High　



Dissuader　from　the　Head　Habit。〃







〃My　liege；〃　said　the　Inventor…in…Ordinary　of　Ingenious　Penalties；　



〃I　venture　to　suggest　a　keener　affliction。







〃Name　it；〃　the　King　said。







〃Let　him　retain　that　head！〃







It　was　so　ordered。















The　Noser　and　the　Note















THE　Head　Rifler　of　an　insolvent　bank；　learning　that　it　was　about　to　



be　visited　by　the　official　Noser　into　Things；　placed　his　own　



personal　note　for　a　large　amount　among　its　resources；　and；　gaily　



touching　his　guitar；　awaited　the　inspection。　　When　the　Noser　came　



to　the　note　he　asked；　〃What's　this？〃







〃That；〃　said　the　Assistant　Pocketer　of　Deposits；　〃is　one　of　our　



liabilities。〃







〃A　liability？〃　exclaimed　the　Noser。　　〃Nay；　nay；　an　asset。　　That　is　



what　you　mean；　doubtless。〃







〃Therein　you　err；〃　the　Pocketer　explained；　〃that　note　was　written　



in　the　bank　with　our　own　pen；　ink；　and　paper；　and　we　have　not　paid　



a　stationery　bill　for　six　months。〃







〃Ah；　I　see；〃　the　Noser　said；　thoughtfully；　〃it　is　a　liability。　　May　



I　ask　how　you　expect　to　meet　it？〃







〃With　fortitude；　please　God；〃　answered　the　Assistant　Pocketer；　his　



eyes　to　Heaven　raising　…　〃with　fortitude　and　a　firm　reliance　on　the　



laxity　of　the　law。〃







〃Enough；　enough；〃　exclaimed　the　faithful　servant　of　the　State；　



choking　with　emotion；　〃here　is　a　certificate　of　solvency。〃







〃And　here　is　a　bottle　of　ink；〃　the　grateful　financier　said；　



slipping　it　into　the　other's　pocket；　〃it　is　all　that　we　have。〃















The　Cat　and　the　King















A　CAT　was　looking　at　a　King；　as　permitted　by　the　proverb。







〃Well；〃　said　the　monarch；　observing　her　inspection　of　the　royal　



person；　〃how　do　you　like　me？〃







〃I　can　imagine　a　King；〃　said　the　Cat；　〃whom　I　should　like　better。〃







〃For　example？〃







〃The　King　of　the　Mice。〃







The　sovereign　was　so　pleased　with　the　wit　of　the　reply　that　he　gave　



her　permission　to　scratch　his　Prime　Minister's　eyes　out。















The　Literary　Astronomer















THE　Director　of　an　Observatory；　who；　with　a　thirty…six…inch　



refractor；　had　discovered　the　moon；　hastened　to　an　Editor；　with　a　



four…column　account　of　the　event。







〃How　much？〃　said　the　Editor；　sententiously；　without　looking　up　from　



his　essay　on　the　circularity　of　the　political　horizon。







〃One　hundred　and　sixty　dollars；〃　replied　the　man　who　had　discovered　



the　moon。







〃Not　half　enough；〃　was　the　Editor's　comment。







〃Generous　man！〃　cried　the　Astronomer；　glowing　with　warm　and　



elevated　sentiments；　〃pay　me；　then；　what　you　will。〃







〃Great　and　good　friend；〃　said　the　Editor；　blandly；　looking　up　from　



his　work；　〃we　are　far　asunder；　it　seems。　　The　paying　is　to　be　done　



by　you。〃







The　Director　of　the　Observatory　gathered　up　the　manuscript　and　went　



away；　explaining　that　it　needed　correction；　he　had　neglected　to　dot　



an　m。















The　Lion　and　the　Rattlesnake















A　MAN　having　found　a　Lion　in　his　path　undertook　to　subdue　him　by　



the　power　of　the　human　eye；　and　near　by　was　a　Rattlesnake　engaged　



in　fascinating　a　small　bird。







〃How　are　you　getting　on；　brother？〃　the　Man　called　out　to　the　other　



reptile；　without　removing　his　eyes　from　those　of　the　Lion。







〃Admirably；〃　replied　the　serpent。　　〃My　success　is　assured；　my　



victim　draws　nearer　and　nearer　in　spite　of　her　efforts。〃







〃And　mine；〃　said　the　Man；　〃draws　nearer　and　nearer　in　spite　of　



mine。　　Are　you　sure　it　is　all　right？〃







〃If　you　don't　think　so；〃　the　reptile　replied　as　well　as　he　then　



could；　with　his　mouth　full　of　bird；　〃you　better　give　it　up。〃







A　half…hour　later；　the　Lion；　thoughtfully　picking　his　teeth　with　



his　claws；　told　the　Rattlesnake　that　he　had　never　in　all　his　varied　



experience　in　being　subdued；　seen　a　subduer　try　so　earnestly　to　



give　it　up。　　〃But；〃　he　added；　with　a　wide；　significant　smile；　〃I　



looked　him　into　countenance。〃















The　Man　with　No　Enemies















AN　Inoffensive　Person　walking　in　a　public　place　was　assaulted　by　a　



Stranger　with　a　Club；　and　severely　beaten。







When　the　Stranger　with　a　Club　was　brought　to　trial；　the　complainant　



said　to　the　Judge：







〃I　do　not　know　why　I　was　assaulted；　I　have　not　an　enemy　in　the　



world。〃







〃That；〃　said　the　defendant；　〃is　why　I　struck　him。〃







〃Let　the　prisoner　be　discharged；〃　said　the　Judge；　〃a　man　who　has　no　



enemies　has　no　friends。　　The　courts　are　not　for　such。〃















The　Alderman　and　the　Raccoon















〃I　SEE　quite　a　number　of　rings　on　your　tail；〃　said　an　Alderman　to　a　



Raccoon　that　he　met　in　a　zoological　garden。







〃Yes；〃　replied　the　Raccoon；　〃and　I　hear　quite　a　number　of　tales　on　



your　ring。〃







The　Alderman；　being　of　a　sensitive；　retiring　disposition；　shrank　



from　further　comparison；　and；　strolling　to　another　part　of　the　



garden；　stole　the　camel。















The　Flying…Machine















AN　Ingenious　Man　who　had　built　a　flying…machine　invited　a　great　



concourse　of　people　to　see　it　go　up。　　At　the　appointed　moment；　



everything　being　ready；　he　boarded　the　car　and　turned　on　the　power。　　



The　machine　immediately　broke　through　the　massive　substructure　upon　



which　it　was　builded；　and　sank　out　of　sight　into　the　earth；　the　



aeronaut　springing　out　barely　in　time　to　save　himself。







〃Well；〃　said　he；　〃I　have　done　enough　to　demonstrate　the　correctness　



of　my　details。　　The　defects；〃　he　added；　with　a　look　at　the　ruined　



brick…work；　〃are　merely　basic　and　fundamental。〃







Upon　this　assurance　the　people　came　forward　with　subscriptions　to　



build　a　second　machine。















The　Angel's　Tear















AN　Unworthy　Man　who　had　laughed　at　the　woes　of　a　Woman　whom　he　



loved；　was　bewailing　his　indiscretion　in　sack…cloth…of…gold　and　



ashes…of…roses；　when　the　Angel　of　Compassion　looked　down　upon　him；　



saying：







〃Poor　mortal！　…　how　unblest　not　to　know　the　wickedness　of　laughing　



at　another's　misfortune！〃







So　saying；　he　let　fall　a　great　tear；　which；　encountering　in　its　



descent　a　current　of　cold　air；　was　congealed　into　a　hail…stone。　　



This　struck　the　Unworthy　Man　on　the　head　and　set　him　rubbing　that　



bruised　organ　vigorously　with　one　hand　while　vainly　attempting　to　



expand　an　umbrella　with　the　other。







Thereat　the　Angel　of　Compassion　did　most　shamelessly　and　wickedly　



laugh。















The　City　of　Political　Distinction















JAMRACH　the　Rich；　being　anxious　to　reach　the　City　of　Political　



Distinction　before　nightfall；　arrived　at　a　fork　of　the　road　and　was　



undecided　which　branch　to　follow；　so　he　consulted　a　Wise…Looking　



Person　who　sat　by　the　wayside。







〃Take　THAT　road；〃　said　the　Wise…Looking　Person；　pointing　it　out；　



〃it　is　known　as　the　Political　Highway。〃







〃Thank　you；〃　said　Jamrach；　and　was　about　to　proceed。







〃About　how　much　do　you　thank　me？〃　was　the　reply。　　〃Do　you　suppose　I　



am　here　for　my　health？〃







As　Jamrach　had　not　become　rich　by　stupidity；　he　handed　something　to　



his　guide　and　hastened　on；　and　soon　came　to　a　toll…gate　kept　by　a　



Benevolent　Gentleman；　to　whom　he　gave　something；　and　was　suffered　



to　pass。　　A　little　farther　along　he　came　to　a　bridge　across　an　



imaginary　stream；　where　a　Civil　Engineer　（who　had　built　the　bridge）　



demanded　something　for　interest　on　his　investment；　and　it　was　



forthcoming。　　It　was　growing　late　when　Jamrach　came　to　the　margin　



of　what　appeared　to　be　a　lake　of　black　ink；　and　there　the　road　



terminated。　　Seeing　a　Ferryman　in　his　boat　he　paid　something　for　



his　passage　and　was　about　to　embark。







〃No；〃　said　the　Ferryman。　　〃Put　your　neck　in　this　noose；　and　I　will　



tow　you　over。　　It　is　the　only　way；〃　he　added；　seeing　that　the　



passenger　was　about　to　complain　of　the　accommodations。







In　due　time　he　was　dragged　across；　half　strangled；　and　dreadfully　



beslubbered　by　the　feculent　waters。　　〃There；〃　said　the　Ferryman；　



hauling　him　ashore　and　disengaging　him；　〃you　are　now　in　the　City　of　



Political　Distinction。　　It　has　fifty　millions　of　inhabitants；　and　



as　the　colour　of　the　Filthy　Pool　does　not　wash　off；　they　all　look　



exactly　alike。〃







〃Alas！〃　exclaimed　Jamrach；　weeping　and　bewailing　the　loss　of　all　



his　possessions；　paid　out　in　tips　and　tolls；　〃I　will　go　back　with　



you。〃







〃I　don't　think　you　will；〃；　said　the　Ferryman；　pushing　off；　〃this　



city　is　situated　on　the　Island　of　the　Unreturning。〃















The　Party　Over　There















A　MAN　in　a　Hurry；　whose　watch　was　at　his　lawyer's；　asked　a　Grave　



Person　the　time　of　day。







〃I　heard　you　ask　that　Party　Over　There　the　same　question；〃　said　the　



Grave　Person。　　〃What　answer　did　he　give　you？〃







〃He　said　it　was　about　three　o'clock；〃　replied　the　Man　in　a　Hurry；　



〃but　he　did　not　look　at　his　watch；　and　as　the　sun　is　nearly　down；　I　



think　it　is　later。〃







〃The　fact　that　the　sun　is　nearly　down；〃　the　Grave　Person　said；　〃is　



immaterial；　but　the　fact　that　he　did　not　consult　his　timepiece　and　



make　a