the essays of montaigne, v6-第3部分

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knot　is　not　so　sure　that　a　man　may　not　half　suspect　it　will　slip。　　〃Love
him；〃　said　Chilo；＇Aulus　Gellius；　i。　3。＇　〃so　as　if　you　were　one　day　to
hate　him；　and　hate　him　so　as　you　were　one　day　to　love　him。〃　　This
precept；　though　abominable　in　the　sovereign　and　perfect　friendship　I
speak　of；　is　nevertheless　very　sound　as　to　the　practice　of　the　ordinary
and　customary　ones；　and　to　which　the　saying　that　Aristotle　had　so
frequent　in　his　mouth；　〃O　my　friends；　there　is　no　friend；〃　may　very　fitly
be　applied。　　In　this　noble　commerce；　good　offices；　presents；　and
benefits；　by　which　other　friendships　are　supported　and　maintained；　do　not
deserve　so　much　as　to　be　mentioned；　and　the　reason　is　the　concurrence　of
our　wills；　for；　as　the　kindness　I　have　for　myself　receives　no　increase；
for　anything　I　relieve　myself　withal　in　time　of　need　（whatever　the　Stoics
say）；　and　as　I　do　not　find　myself　obliged　to　myself　for　any　service　I　do
myself：　so　the　union　of　such　friends；　being　truly　perfect；　deprives　them
of　all　idea　of　such　duties；　and　makes　them　loathe　and　banish　from　their
conversation　these　words　of　division　and　distinction；　benefits；
obligation；　acknowledgment；　entreaty；　thanks；　and　the　like。　　All　things；
wills；　thoughts；　opinions；　goods；　wives；　children；　honours；　and　lives；
being　in　effect　common　betwixt　them；　and　that　absolute　concurrence　of
affections　being　no　other　than　one　soul　in　two　bodies　（according　to　that
very　proper　definition　of　Aristotle）；　they　can　neither　lend　nor　give
anything　to　one　another。　　This　is　the　reason　why　the　lawgivers；　to　honour
marriage　with　some　resemblance　of　this　divine　alliance；　interdict　all
gifts　betwixt　man　and　wife；　inferring　by　that；　that　all　should　belong　to
each　of　them；　and　that　they　have　nothing　to　divide　or　to　give　to　each
other。

If；　in　the　friendship　of　which　I　speak；　one　could　give　to　the　other；　the
receiver　of　the　benefit　would　be　the　man　that　obliged　his　friend；　for
each　of　them　contending　and　above　all　things　studying　how　to　be　useful　to
the　other；　he　that　administers　the　occasion　is　the　liberal　man；　in　giving
his　friend　the　satisfaction　of　doing　that　towards　him　which　above　all
things　he　most　desires。　　When　the　philosopher　Diogenes　wanted　money；　he
used　to　say；　that　he　redemanded　it　of　his　friends；　not　that　he　demanded
it。　　And　to　let　you　see　the　practical　working　of　this；　I　will　here
produce　an　ancient　and　singular　example。　　Eudamidas；　a　Corinthian；　had
two　friends；　Charixenus　a　Sicyonian　and　Areteus　a　Corinthian；　this　man
coming　to　die；　being　poor；　and　his　two　friends　rich；　he　made　his　will
after　this　manner。　　〃I　bequeath　to　Areteus　the　maintenance　of　my　mother；
to　support　and　provide　for　her　in　her　old　age；　and　to　Charixenus　I
bequeath　the　care　of　marrying　my　daughter；　and　to　give　her　as　good　a
portion　as　he　is　able；　and　in　case　one　of　these　chance　to　die；　I　hereby
substitute　the　survivor　in　his　place。〃　　They　who　first　saw　this　will　made
themselves　very　merry　at　the　contents：　but　the　legatees；　being　made
acquainted　with　it；　accepted　it　with　very　great　content；　and　one　of　them；
Charixenus；　dying　within　five　days　after；　and　by　that　means　the　charge　of
both　duties　devolving　solely　on　him；　Areteus　nurtured　the　old　woman　with
very　great　care　and　tenderness；　and　of　five　talents　he　had　in　estate；　he
gave　two　and　a　half　in　marriage　with　an　only　daughter　he　had　of　his　own；
and　two　and　a　half　in　marriage　with　the　daughter　of　Eudamidas；　and　on　one
and　the　same　day　solemnised　both　their　nuptials。

This　example　is　very　full；　if　one　thing　were　not　to　be　objected；　namely
the　multitude　of　friends　for　the　perfect　friendship　I　speak　of　is
indivisible；　each　one　gives　himself　so　entirely　to　his　friend；　that　he
has　nothing　left　to　distribute　to　others：　on　the　contrary；　is　sorry　that
he　is　not　double；　treble；　or　quadruple；　and　that　he　has　not　many　souls
and　many　wills；　to　confer　them　all　upon　this　one　object。　　Common
friendships　will　admit　of　division；　one　may　love　the　beauty　of　this
person；　the　good…humour　of　that；　the　liberality　of　a　third；　the　paternal
affection　of　a　fourth；　the　fraternal　love　of　a　fifth；　and　so　of　the　rest：
but　this　friendship　that　possesses　the　whole　soul；　and　there　rules　and
sways　with　an　absolute　sovereignty；　cannot　possibly　admit　of　a　rival。
If　two　at　the　same　time　should　call　to　you　for　succour；　to　which　of　them
would　you　run？　　Should　they　require　of　you　contrary　offices；　how　could
you　serve　them　both？　　Should　one　commit　a　thing　to　your　silence　that　it
were　of　importance　to　the　other　to　know；　how　would　you　disengage
yourself？　　A　unique　and　particular　friendship　dissolves　all　other
obligations　whatsoever：　the　secret　I　have　sworn　not　to　reveal　to　any
other；　I　may　without　perjury　communicate　to　him　who　is　not　another；　but
myself。　　'Tis　miracle　enough　certainly；　for　a　man　to　double　himself；　and
those　that　talk　of　tripling；　talk　they　know　not　of　what。　　Nothing　is
extreme；　that　has　its　like；　and　he　who　shall　suppose；　that　of　two；　I　love
one　as　much　as　the　other；　that　they　mutually　love　one　another　too；　and
love　me　as　much　as　I　love　them；　multiplies　into　a　confraternity　the　most
single　of　units；　and　whereof；　moreover；　one　alone　is　the　hardest　thing　in
the　world　to　find。　　The　rest　of　this　story　suits　very　well　with　what　I
was　saying；　for　Eudamidas；　as　a　bounty　and　favour；　bequeaths　to　his
friends　a　legacy　of　employing　themselves　in　his　necessity；　he　leaves　them
heirs　to　this　liberality　of　his；　which　consists　in　giving　them　the
opportunity　of　conferring　a　benefit　upon　him；　and　doubtless；　the　force　of
friendship　is　more　eminently　apparent　in　this　act　of　his；　than　in　that　of
Areteus。　　In　short；　these　are　effects　not　to　be　imagined　nor　comprehended
by　such　as　have　not　experience　of　them；　and　which　make　me　infinitely
honour　and　admire　the　answer　of　that　young　soldier　to　Cyrus；　by　whom
being　asked　how　much　he　would　take　for　a　horse；　with　which　he　had　won　the
prize　of　a　race；　and　whether　he　would　exchange　him　for　a　kingdom？
〃No；　truly；　sir；〃　said　he；　〃but　I　would　give　him　with　all　my　heart；　to
get　thereby　a　true　friend；　could　I　find　out　any　man　worthy　of　that
alliance。〃　＇Xenophon；　Cyropadia；　viii。　　3。＇　He　did　not　say　ill　in
saying；　〃could　I　find〃：　for　though　one　may　almost　everywhere　meet　with
men　sufficiently　qualified　for　a　superficial　acquaintance；　yet　in　this；
where　a　man　is　to　deal　from　the　very　bottom　of　his　heart；　without　any
manner　of　reservation；　it　will　be　requisite　that　all　the　wards　and
springs　be　truly　wrought　and　perfectly　sure。

In　confederations　that　hold　but　by　one　end；　we　are　only　to　provide
against　the　imperfections　that　particularly　concern　that　end。　　It　can　be
of　no　importance　to　me　of　what　religion　my　physician　or　my　lawyer　is；
this　consideration　has　nothing　in　common　with　the　offices　of　friendship
which　they　owe　me；　and　I　am　of　the　same　indifference　in　the　domestic
acquaintance　my　servants　must　necessarily　contract　with　me。　　I　never
inquire；　when　I　am　to　take　a　footman；　if　he　be　chaste；　but　if　he　be
diligent；　and　am　not　solicitous　if　my　muleteer　be　given　to　gaming；　as　if
he　be　strong　and　able；　or　if　my　cook　be　a　swearer；　if　he　be　a　good　cook。
I　do　not　take　upon　me　to　direct　what　other　men　should　do　in　the
government　of　their　families；　there　are　plenty　that　meddle　enough　with
that；　but　only　give　an　account　of　my　method　in　my　own：

　　　　　　　　　　〃Mihi　sic　usus　est：　tibi；　ut　opus　est　facto；　face。〃

　　　　　＇〃This　has　been　my　way；　as　for　you；　do　as　you　find　needful。
　　　　　〃Terence；　Heaut。；　i。　I。；　28。＇

For　table…talk；　I　prefer　the　pleasant　and　witty　before　the　learned　and
the　grave；　in　bed；　beauty　before　goodness；　in　common　discourse　the　ablest
speaker；　whether　or　no　there　be　sincerity　in　the　case。　　And；　as　he　that
was　found　astride　upon　a　hobby…horse；　playing　with　his　children；
entreated　the　person　who　had　surprised　him　in　that　posture　to　say　nothing
of　it　till　himself　came　to　be　a　father；　＇Plutarch；　Life　of　Agesilaus；
c。　　9。＇　supposing　that　the　fondness　that　would　then　possess　his　own
soul；　would　render　him　a　fairer　judge　of　such　an　action；　so　I；　also；
could　wish　to　speak　to　such　as　have　had　experience　of　what　I　say：　though；
knowing　how　remote　a　thing　such　a　friendship　is　from　the　common　practice；
and　how　rarely　it　is　to　be　found；　I　despair　of　meeting　with　any　such
judge。　　For　even　these　discourses　left　us　by　antiquity　upon　this　subject；
seem　to　me　flat　and　poor；　in　comparison　of　the　sense　I　have　of　it；　and　in
this　particular；　the　effects　surpass　even　the　precepts　of　philosophy

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Nil　ego　contulerim　jucundo　sanus　amico。〃

　　　　　＇〃While　I　have　sense　left　to　me；　there　will　never　be　anything　more
　　　　　acceptable　to　me　than　an　agreeable　friend。〃
　　　　　Horace；　Sat。；　i。　5；　44。＇

The　ancient　Menander　declared　him　to　be　happy　that　had　had　the　good
fortune　to　meet　with　but　the　shadow　of　a　friend：　and　doubtless　he　had
good　reason　to　say　so；　especially　if　he　spoke　by　experience：　for　in　good
earnest；　if　I　compare　all　the　rest　of　my　life；　though；　thanks　be　to　God；
I　have　passed　my　time　pleasantly　enough；　and　at　my　ease；　and　the　loss　of
such　a　friend　excepted；　free　from　any　grievous　affliction；　and　in　great
tranquillity　of　mind；　having　been　contented　with　my　natural　and　original
commodities；　without　being　solicitous　after　others；　if　I　should　compare
it　all；　I　say；　with　the　four　years　I　had　the　happiness　to　enjoy　the　sweet
society　of　this　excellent　man；　'tis　nothing　but　smoke；　an　obscure　and
tedious　night。　　From　the　day　that　I　lost　him：

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Quern　semper　acerbum；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Semper　honoratum　（sic；　di；　voluistis）　habebo；〃

　　　　　＇〃A　day　for　me　ever　sad；　for　ever　sacred；　so　have　you　willed　ye
　　　　　gods。〃AEneid；　v。　49。＇

I　have　only　led　a　languishing　life；　and　the　very　pleasures　that　present
themselves　to　me；　instead　of　administering　anything　of　consolation；
double　my　affliction　for　his　loss。　　We　were　halves　throughout；　and　to
that　degree；　that　methinks；　by　outliving　him；　I　defraud　him　of　his　part。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Nec　fas　esse　ulla　me　voluptate　hic　frui
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Decrevi；　tantisper　dum　ille　abest　meus　particeps。〃

　　　　　＇〃I　have　determined　that　it　will　never　be　right　for　me　to　enjoy　any
　　　　　pleasure；　so　long　as　he；　with　whom