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the old bachelor-第9部分

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FOND。  Good lack; good lack; she would melt a heart of oakI profess I can hold no longer。  Nay; dear Cockyifeck; you'll break my heartifeck you will。  See; you have made me weepmade poor Nykin weep。  Nay; come kiss; buss poor Nykinand I won't leave theeI'll lose all first。

LAET。  'Aside。'  How!  Heaven forbid! that will be carrying the jest too far indeed。

FOND。  Won't you kiss Nykin?

LAET。  Go; naughty Nykin; you don't love me。

FOND。  Kiss; kiss; ifeck; I do。

LAET。  No; you don't。  'She kisses him。'

FOND。  What; not love Cocky!

LAET。  No…h。  'Sighs。'

FOND。  I profess I do love thee better than five hundred poundand so thou shalt say; for I'll leave it to stay with thee。

LAET。  No you sha'n't neglect your business for me。  No; indeed; you sha'n't; Nykin。  If you don't go; I'll think you been dealous of me still。

FOND。  He; he; he; wilt thou; poor fool?  Then I will go; I won't be dealous。  Poor Cocky; kiss Nykin; kiss Nykin; ee; ee; ee。  Here will be the good man anon; to talk to Cocky and teach her how a wife ought to behave herself。

LAET。  'Aside。'  I hope to have one that will show me how a husband ought to behave himself。  I shall be glad to learn; to please my jewel。  'Kiss。'

FOND。  That's my good dear。  Come; kiss Nykin once more; and then get you in。  Soget you in; get you in。  Bye; bye。

LAET。  Bye; Nykin。

FOND。  Bye; Cocky。

LAET。  Bye; Nykin。

FOND。  Bye; Cocky; bye; bye。


SCENE V。


VAINLOVE; SHARPER。

SHARP。  How!  Araminta lost!

VAIN。  To confirm what I have said; read this。  'Gives a letter。'

SHARP。  'Reads。'  Hum; hum!  And what then appeared a fault; upon reflection seems only an effect of a too powerful passion。  I'm afraid I give too great a proof of my own at this time。  I am in disorder for what I have written。  But something; I know not what; forced me。  I only beg a favourable censure of this and your ARAMINTA。

SHARP。  Lost!  Pray heaven thou hast not lost thy wits。  Here; here; she's thy own; man; signed and sealed too。  To her; mana delicious melon; pure and consenting ripe; and only waits thy cutting up:  she has been breeding love to thee all this while; and just now she's delivered of it。

VAIN。  'Tis an untimely fruit; and she has miscarried of her love。

SHARP。  Never leave this damned ill…natured whimsey; Frank?  Thou hast a sickly; peevish appetite; only chew love and cannot digest it。

VAIN。  Yes; when I feed myself。  But I hate to be crammed。  By heaven; there's not a woman will give a man the pleasure of a chase:  my sport is always balked or cut short。  I stumble over the game I would pursue。  'Tis dull and unnatural to have a hare run full in the hounds' mouth; and would distaste the keenest hunter。 I would have overtaken; not have met; my game。

SHARP。  However; I hope you don't mean to forsake it; that will be but a kind of mongrel cur's trick。  Well; are you for the Mall?

VAIN。  No; she will be there this evening。  Yes; I will go too; and she shall see her error in …

SHARP。  In her choice; I…gad。  But thou canst not be so great a brute as to slight her。

VAIN。  I should disappoint her if I did not。  By her management I should think she expects it。

All naturally fly what does pursue: 'Tis fit men should be coy when women woo。


SCENE VI。


A Room in Fondlewife's House。

A SERVANT introducing BELLMOUR; in fanatic habit; with a patch upon one eye and a book in his hand。

SERV。  Here's a chair; sir; if you please to repose yourself。  My mistress is coming; sir。

BELL。  Secure in my disguise I have out…faced suspicion and even dared discovery。  This cloak my sanctity; and trusty Scarron's novels my prayer…book; methinks I am the very picture of Montufar in the Hypocrites。  Oh! she comes。


SCENE VII。


BELLMOUR; LAETITIA。

So breaks Aurora through the veil of night; Thus fly the clouds; divided by her light; And every eye receives a new…born sight。 'Throwing off his cloak; patch; etc。'

LAET。  Thus strewed with blushes; likeAh!  Heaven defend me! Who's this?  'Discovering him; starts。'

BELL。  Your lover。

LAET。  Vainlove's friend!  I know his face; and he has betrayed me to him。  'Aside。'

BELL。  You are surprised。  Did you not expect a lover; madam? Those eyes shone kindly on my first appearance; though now they are o'ercast。

LAET。  I may well be surprised at your person and impudence:  they are both new to me。  You are not what your first appearance promised:  the piety of your habit was welcome; but not the hypocrisy。

BELL。  Rather the hypocrisy was welcome; but not the hypocrite。

LAET。  Who are you; sir?  You have mistaken the house sure。

BELL。  I have directions in my pocket which agree with everything but your unkindness。  'Pulls out the letter。'

LAET。  My letter!  Base Vainlove!  Then 'tis too late to dissemble。 'Aside。'  'Tis plain; then; you have mistaken the person。  'Going。'

BELL。  If we part so I'm mistaken。  Hold; hold; madam!  I confess I have run into an error。  I beg your pardon a thousand times。  What an eternal blockhead am I!  Can you forgive me the disorder I have put you into?  But it is a mistake which anybody might have made。

LAET。  What can this mean?  'Tis impossible he should be mistaken after all this。  A handsome fellow if he had not surprised me。 Methinks; now I look on him again; I would not have him mistaken。 'Aside。'  We are all liable to mistakes; sir。  If you own it to be so; there needs no farther apology。

BELL。  Nay; faith; madam; 'tis a pleasant one; and worth your hearing。  Expecting a friend last night; at his lodgings; till 'twas late; my intimacy with him gave me the freedom of his bed。 He not coming home all night; a letter was delivered to me by a servant in the morning。  Upon the perusal I found the contents so charming that I could think of nothing all day but putting 'em in practice; until just now; the first time I ever looked upon the superscription; I am the most surprised in the world to find it directed to Mr。 Vainlove。  Gad; madam; I ask you a million of pardons; and will make you any satisfaction。

LAET。  I am discovered。  And either Vainlove is not guilty; or he has handsomely excused him。  'Aside。'

BELL。  You appear concerned; madam。

LAET。  I hope you are a gentleman;and since you are privy to a weak woman's failing; won't turn it to the prejudice of her reputation。  You look as if you had more honour …

BELL。  And more love; or my face is a false witness and deserves to be pilloried。  No; by heaven; I swear …

LAET。  Nay; don't swear if you'd have me believe you; but promise …

BELL。  Well; I promise。  A promise is so cold:  give me leave to swear; by those eyes; those killing eyes; by those healing lips。 Oh! press the soft charm close to mine; and seal 'em up for ever。

LAET。  Upon that condition。  'He kisses her。'

BELL。  Eternity was in that moment。  One more; upon any condition!

LAET。  Nay; nowI never saw anything so agreeably impudent。 'Aside。'  Won't you censure me for this; now?but 'tis to buy your silence。  'Kiss。'  Oh; but what am I doing!

BELL。  Doing!  No tongue can express itnot thy own; nor anything; but thy lips。  I am faint with the excess of bliss。  Oh; for love… sake; lead me anywhither; where I may lie down quickly; for I'm afraid I shall have a fit。

LAET。  Bless me!  What fit?

BELL。  Oh; a convulsionI feel the symptoms。

LAET。  Does it hold you long?  I'm afraid to carry you into my chamber。

BELL。  Oh; no:  let me lie down upon the bed; the fit will be soon over。


SCENE VIII。


SCENE:  St。 James's Park。

ARAMINTA and BELINDA meeting。

BELIN。  Lard; my dear; I am glad I have met you; I have been at the Exchange since; and am so tired …

ARAM。  Why; what's the matter?

BELIN。  Oh the most inhuman; barbarous hackney…coach!  I am jolted to a jelly。  Am I not horribly touzed?  'Pulls out a pocket…glass。'

ARAM。  Your head's a little out of order。

BELIN。  A little!  O frightful!  What a furious phiz I have!  O most rueful!  Ha; ha; ha。  O Gad; I hope nobody will come this way; till I have put myself a little in repair。  Ah! my dear; I have seen such unhewn creatures since。  Ha; ha; ha。  I can't for my soul help thinking that I look just like one of 'em。  Good dear; pin this; and I'll tell youvery wellso; thank you; my dearbut as I was telling youpish; this is the untowardest lockso; as I was telling youhow d'ye like me now?  Hideous; ha?  Frightful still? Or how?

ARAM。  No; no; you're very well as can be。

BELIN。  And sobut where did I leave off; my dear?  I was telling you …

ARAM。  You were about to tell me something; child; but you left off before you began。

BELIN。  Oh; a most comical sight:  a country squire; with the equipage of a wife and two daughters; came to Mrs。 Snipwel's shop while I was therebut oh Gad! two such unlicked cubs!

ARAM。  I warrant; plump; cherry…cheeked country girls。

BELIN。  Ay; o' my conscience; fat as barn…door fowl:  but so bedecked; you would have taken 'em for Friesland hens; with their feathers growing the wrong way。  O such outlandish creatures!  Such Tramontanae; and foreigners to the fashion; or anything in practice!  I had not patience to behold。  I undertook the modelling of one of their fronts; the more modern structure …

ARAM。  Bless me; cousin; why would you affront anybody so?  They might be gentlewomen of a very good family …

BELIN。  Of a very ancient one; I dare swear; by their dress。 Affront! pshaw; how you're mistaken!  The poor creature; I warrant; was as full of curtsies; as if I had been her godmother。  The truth on't is; I did endeavour to make her look like a Christianand she was sensible of it; for she thanked me; and gave me two apples; piping hot; out of her under…petticoat pocket。  Ha; ha; ha:  and t'other did so stare and gape; I fancied her like the front of her father's hall; her eyes were the two jut…windows; and her mouth the great door; most hospitably kept open for the entertainment of travelling flies。

ARAM。  So then; you have been diverted。  What did they buy?

BELIN。  Why; the father bought a powder…horn; and an almanac; and a comb…case; the mother; a great fruz…towr; and a fat amber necklace; the daughters only tore two pairs of kid…leather gloves; with trying 'e
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