the courtship of susan bell-第6部分

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head。

The　afternoon　at　Mrs。　Bell's　house　was　melancholy。　　The　final
decision　of　the　three　judges　was　as　follows。　　There　was　to　be　no
engagement；　of　course　no　correspondence。　　Aaron　was　to　be　told　that
it　would　be　better　that　he　should　get　lodgings　elsewhere　when　he
returned；　but　that　he　would　be　allowed　to　visit　at　Mrs。　Bell's
house；and　at　Mrs。　Beckard's；　which　was　very　considerate。　　If　he
should　succeed　in　getting　a　permanent　appointment；　and　if　he　and
Susan　still　held　the　same　mind；　why　then&c。　&c。　　Such　was　Susan's
fate；　as　communicated　to　her　by　Mrs。　Bell　and　Hetta。　　She　sat　still
and　wept　when　she　heard　it；　but　she　did　not　complain。　　She　had
always　felt　that　Hetta　would　be　against　her。

〃Mayn't　I　see　him；　then？〃　she　said　through　her　tears。

Hetta　thought　she　had　better　not。　　Mrs。　Bell　thought　she　might。
Phineas　decided　that　they　might　shake　hands；　but　only　in　full
conclave。　　There　was　to　be　no　lovers'　farewell。　　Aaron　was　to　leave
the　house　at　half…past　five；　but　before　he　went　Susan　should　be
called　down。　　Poor　Susan！　　She　sat　down　and　bemoaned　herself；
uncomplaining；　but　very　sad。

Susan　was　soft；　feminine；　and　manageable。　　But　Aaron　Dunn　was　not
very　soft；　was　especially　masculine；　and　in　some　matters　not　easily
manageable。　　When　Mr。　Beckard　in　the　widow's　presenceHetta　had
retired　in　obedience　to　her　loverinformed　him　of　the　court's
decision；　there　came　over　his　face　the　look　which　he　had　worn　when
he　burned　the　picture。　　〃Mrs。　Bell；〃　he　said；　〃had　encouraged　his
engagement；　and　he　did　not　understand　why　other　people　should　now
come　and　disturb　it。〃

〃Not　an　engagement；　Aaron；〃　said　Mrs。　Bell　piteously。

〃He　was　able　and　willing　to　work；〃　he　said；　〃and　knew　his
profession。　　What　young　man　of　his　age　had　done　better　than　he　had？〃
and　he　glanced　round　at　them　with　perhaps　more　pride　than　was　quite
becoming。

Then　Mr。　Beckard　spoke　out；　very　wisely　no　doubt；　but　perhaps　a
little　too　much　at　length。　　Sons　and　daughters；　as　well　as　fathers
and　mothers；　will　know　very　well　what　he　said；　so　I　need　not　repeat
his　words。　　I　cannot　say　that　Aaron　listened　with　much　attention；
but　he　understood　perfectly　what　the　upshot　of　it　was。　　Many　a　man
understands　the　purport　of　many　a　sermon　without　listening　to　one
word　in　ten。　　Mr。　Beckard　meant　to　be　kind　in　his　manner；　indeed　was
so；　only　that　Aaron　could　not　accept　as　kindness　any　interference　on
his　part。

〃I'll　tell　you　what；　Mrs。　Bell；〃　said　he。　　〃I　look　upon　myself　as
engaged　to　her。　　And　I　look　on　her　as　engaged　to　me。　　I　tell　you　so
fairly；　and　I　believe　that's　her　mind　as　well　as　mine。〃

〃But；　Aaron；　you　won't　try　to　see　heror　to　write　to　her；not　in
secret；　will　you？〃

〃When　I　try　to　see　her；　I'll　come　and　knock　at　this　door；　and　if　I
write　to　her；　I'll　write　to　her　full　address　by　the　post。　　I　never
did　and　never　will　do　anything　in　secret。〃

〃I　know　you're　good　and　honest；〃　said　the　widow　with　her
handkerchief　to　her　eyes。

〃Then　why　do　you　separate　us？〃　asked　he；　almost　roughly。　　〃I　suppose
I　may　see　her　at　any　rate　before　I　go。　　My　time's　nearly　up　now；　I
guess。〃

And　then　Susan　was　called　for；　and　she　and　Hetta　came　down　together。
Susan　crept　in　behind　her　sister。　　Her　eyes　were　red　with　weeping；
and　her　appearance　was　altogether　disconsolate。　　She　had　had　a　lover
for　a　week；　and　now　she　was　to　be　robbed　of　him。

〃Good…bye；　Susan；〃　said　Aaron；　and　he　walked　up　to　her　without
bashfulness　or　embarrassment。　　Had　they　all　been　compliant　and
gracious　to　him　he　would　have　been　as　bashful　as　his　love；　but　now
his　temper　was　hot。　　〃Good…bye；　Susan；〃　and　she　took　his　hand；　and
he　held　hers　till　he　had　finished。　　〃And　remember　this；　I　look　upon
you　as　my　promised　wife；　and　I　don't　fear　that　you'll　deceive　me。
At　any　rate　I　shan't　deceive　you。〃

〃Good…bye；　Aaron；〃　she　sobbed。

〃Good…bye；　and　God　bless　you；　my　own　darling！〃　　And　then　without
saying　a　word　to　any　one　else；　he　turned　his　back　upon　them　and　went
his　way。

There　had　been　something　very　consolatory；　very　sweet；　to　the　poor
girl　in　her　lover's　last　words。　　And　yet　they　had　almost　made　her
tremble。　　He　had　been　so　bold；　and　stern；　and　confident。　　He　had
seemed　so　utterly　to　defy　the　impregnable　discretion　of　Mr。　Beckard；
so　to　despise　the　demure　propriety　of　Hetta。　　But　of　this　she　felt
sure；　when　she　came　to　question　her　heart；　that　she　could　never；
never；　never　cease　to　love　him　better　than　all　the　world　beside。
She　would　waitpatiently　if　she　could　find　patienceand　then；　if
he　deserted　her；　she　would　die。

In　another　month　Hetta　became　Mrs。　Beckard。　　Susan　brisked　up　a
little　for　the　occasion；　and　looked　very　pretty　as　bridesmaid。　　She
was　serviceable　too　in　arranging　household　matters；　hemming　linen
and　sewing　table…cloths；　though　of　course　in　these　matters　she　did
not　do　a　tenth　of　what　Hetta　did。

Then　the　summer　came；　the　Saratoga　summer　of　July；　August；　and
September；　during　which　the　widow's　house　was　full；　and　Susan's
hands　saved　the　pain　of　her　heart；　for　she　was　forced　into
occupation。　　Now　that　Hetta　was　gone　to　her　own　duties；　it　was
necessary　that　Susan's　part　in　the　household　should　be　more
prominent。

Aaron　did　not　come　back　to　his　work　at　Saratoga。　　Why　he　did　not
they　could　not　then　learn。　　During　the　whole　long　summer　they　heard
not　a　word　of　him　nor　from　him；　and　then　when　the　cold　winter　months
came　and　their　boarders　had　left　them；　Mrs。　Beckard　congratulated
her　sister　in　that　she　had　given　no　further　encouragement　to　a　lover
who　cared　so　little　for　her。　　This　was　very　hard　to　bear。　　But　Susan
did　bear　it。

That　winter　was　very　sad。　　They　learned　nothing　of　Aaron　Dunn　till
about　January；　and　then　they　heard　that　he　was　doing　very　well。　　He
was　engaged　on　the　Erie　trunk　line；　was　paid　highly；　and　was　much
esteemed。　　And　yet　he　neither　came　nor　sent！　　〃He　has　an　excellent
situation；〃　their　informant　told　them。　　〃And　a　permanent　one？〃　asked
the　widow。　　〃Oh；　yes；　no　doubt；〃　said　the　gentleman；　〃for　I　happen
to　know　that　they　count　greatly　on　him。〃　　And　yet　he　sent　no　word　of
love。

After　that　the　winter　became　very　sad　indeed。　　Mrs。　Bell　thought　it
to　be　her　duty　now　to　teach　her　daughter　that　in　all　probability　she
would　see　Aaron　Dunn　no　more。　　It　was　open　to　him　to　leave　her
without　being　absolutely　a　wolf。　　He　had　been　driven　from　the　house
when　he　was　poor；　and　they　had　no　right　to　expect　that　he　would
return；　now　that　he　had　made　some　rise　in　the　world。　　〃Men　do　amuse
themselves　in　that　way；〃　the　widow　tried　to　teach　her。

〃He　is　not　like　that；　mother；〃　she　said　again。

〃But　they　do　not　think　so　much　of　these　things　as　we　do；〃　urged　the
mother。

〃Don't　they？〃　said　Susan；　oh；　so　sorrowfully；　and　so　through　the
whole　long　winter　months　she　became　paler　and　paler；　and　thinner　and
thinner。

And　then　Hetta　tried　to　console　her　with　religion；　and　that　perhaps
did　not　make　things　any　better。　　Religious　consolation　is　the　best
cure　for　all　griefs；　but　it　must　not　be　looked　for　specially　with
regard　to　any　individual　sorrow。　　A　religious　man；　should　he　become
bankrupt　through　the　misfortunes　of　the　world；　will　find　true
consolation　in　his　religion　even　for　that　sorrow。　　But　a　bankrupt；
who　has　not　thought　much　of　such　things；　will　hardly　find　solace　by
taking　up　religion　for　that　special　occasion。

And　Hetta　perhaps　was　hardly　prudent　in　her　attempts。　　She　thought
that　it　was　wicked　in　Susan　to　grow　thin　and　pale　for　love　of　Aaron
Dunn；　and　she　hardly　hid　her　thoughts。　　Susan　was　not　sure　but　that
it　might　be　wicked；　but　this　doubt　in　no　way　tended　to　make　her
plump　or　rosy。　　So　that　in　those　days　she　found　no　comfort　in　her
sister。

But　her　mother's　pity　and　soft　love　did　ease　her　sufferings；　though
it　could　not　make　them　cease。　　Her　mother　did　not　tell　her　that　she
was　wicked；　or　bid　her　read　long　sermons；　or　force　her　to　go　oftener
to　the　meeting…house。

〃He　will　never　come　again；　I　think；〃　she　said　one　day；　as　with　a
shawl　wrapped　around　her　shoulders；　she　leant　with　her　head　upon　her
mother's　bosom。

〃My　own　darling；〃　said　the　mother；　pressing　her　child　closely　to　her
side。

〃You　think　he　never　will；　eh；　mother？〃　　What　could　Mrs。　Bell　say？
In　her　heart　of　hearts　she　did　not　think　he　ever　would　come　again。

〃No；　my　child。　　I　do　not　think　he　will。〃　　And　then　the　hot　tears　ran
down；　and　the　sobs　came　thick　and　frequent。

〃My　darling；　my　darling！〃　exclaimed　the　mother；　and　they　wept
together。

〃Was　I　wicked　to　love　him　at　the　first；〃　she　asked　that　night。

〃No；　my　child；　you　were　not　wicked　at　all。　　At　least　I　think　not。〃

〃Then　why〃　　Why　was　he　sent　away？　　It　was　on　her　tongue　to　ask
that　question；　but　she　paused　and　spared　her　mother。　　This　was　as
they　were　going　to　bed。　　The　next　morning　Susan　did　not　get　up。　　She
was　not　ill；　she　said；　but　weak　and　weary。　　Would　her　mother　let　her
lie　that　day？　　And　then　Mrs。　Bell　went　down　alone　to　her　room；　and
sorrowed　with　all　her　heart　for　the　sorrow　of　her　child。　　Why；　oh
why；　had　she　driven　away　from　her　door…sill　the　love　of　an　honest
man？

On　the　next　morning　Susan　again　did　not　get　up；nor　did　she　hear；
or　if　she　heard　she　did　not　recognise；　the　step　of　the　postman　who
brought　a　letter　to　the　door。　　Early；　before　the　widow's　breakfast；
the　postman　came；　and　the　letter　which　he　brought　was　as　follows：…


〃MY　DEAR　MRS。　BELL；

〃I　have　now　got　a　permanent　situation　on　the　Erie　line；　and　the
salary　is　enough　for　myself　and　a　wife。　　At　least　I　think　so；　and　I
hope　you　will　too。　　I　shall　be　down　at　Saratoga　to…morrow　evening；
and　I　hope　neither　Susan　nor　you　will　refuse　to　receive　me。

〃Yours　affectionately；

〃AARON　DUNN。〃


That　was　all。　　It　was　very　short；　and　did　not　contain　one　word　of
love；　but　it　made　the　widow's　heart　leap　for　joy。　　She　was　rather
afraid　that　Aaron　was　angry；　he　wrote　so　curtly　and　with　such　a
brusque　business…like　attention　to　mere　facts；　but　surely　he　could
have　but　one　object　in　coming　there。　　And　then　he　alluded　specially
to　a　wife。　　So　the　widow's　heart　leapt　with　joy。

But　how　was　she　to　tell　Susan？　　She　ran　up　stairs　almost　breathless
with　haste；　to　the　bedroom　door；　but　then　she　stopped；　too　much　joy
she　had　heard　was　as　dangerous　as　t