the aspern papers-第3部分

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one　indeed；　for　it　brought　her；　as　I　say；　all　the　way　down。

I　begged　her　to　hand　it　to　her　mistress；　having　first　written　on

it　in　Italian　the　words；　〃Could　you　very　kindly　see　a　gentleman；

an　American；　for　a　moment？〃　　The　little　maid　was　not　hostile；

and　I　reflected　that　even　that　was　perhaps　something　gained。

She　colored；　she　smiled　and　looked　both　frightened　and　pleased。

I　could　see　that　my　arrival　was　a　great　affair；　that　visits

were　rare　in　that　house；　and　that　she　was　a　person　who　would

have　liked　a　sociable　place。　　When　she　pushed　forward　the　heavy

door　behind　me　I　felt　that　I　had　a　foot　in　the　citadel。

She　pattered　across　the　damp；　stony　lower　hall　and　I　followed

her　up　the　high　staircasestonier　still；　as　it　seemed

without　an　invitation。　　I　think　she　had　meant　I　should　wait

for　her　below；　but　such　was　not　my　idea；　and　I　took　up　my

station　in　the　sala。　　She　flitted；　at　the　far　end　of　it；

into　impenetrable　regions；　and　I　looked　at　the　place　with　my

heart　beating　as　I　had　known　it　to　do　in　the　dentist's　parlor。

It　was　gloomy　and　stately；　but　it　owed　its　character　almost

entirely　to　its　noble　shape　and　to　the　fine　architectural　doors

as　high　as　the　doors　of　houseswhich；　leading　into　the

various　rooms；　repeated　themselves　on　either　side　at　intervals。

They　were　surmounted　with　old　faded　painted　escutcheons；

and　here　and　there；　in　the　spaces　between　them；　brown　pictures；

which　I　perceived　to　be　bad；　in　battered　frames；　were　suspended。

With　the　exception　of　several　straw…bottomed　chairs　with

their　backs　to　the　wall；　the　grand　obscure　vista　contained

nothing　else　to　minister　to　effect。　　It　was　evidently

never　used　save　as　a　passage；　and　little　even　as　that。

I　may　add　that　by　the　time　the　door　opened　again　through

which　the　maidservant　had　escaped；　my　eyes　had　grown　used

to　the　want　of　light。



I　had　not　meant　by　my　private　ejaculation　that　I　must　myself　cultivate

the　soil　of　the　tangled　enclosure　which　lay　beneath　the　windows；

but　the　lady　who　came　toward　me　from　the　distance　over　the　hard；

shining　floor　might　have　supposed　as　much　from　the　way　in　which；　as　I

went　rapidly　to　meet　her；　I　exclaimed；　taking　care　to　speak　Italian：

〃The　garden；　the　gardendo　me　the　pleasure　to　tell　me　if　it's　yours！〃



She　stopped　short；　looking　at　me　with　wonder；　and　then；　〃Nothing　here

is　mine；〃　she　answered　in　English；　coldly　and　sadly。



〃Oh；　you　are　English；　how　delightful！〃　　I　remarked；　ingenuously。

〃But　surely　the　garden　belongs　to　the　house？〃



〃Yes；　but　the　house　doesn't　belong　to　me。〃　　She　was　a　long；

lean；　pale　person；　habited　apparently　in　a　dull…colored

dressing　gown；　and　she　spoke　with　a　kind　of　mild　literalness。

She　did　not　ask　me　to　sit　down；　any　more　than　years　before

（if　she　were　the　niece）　she　had　asked　Mrs。　Prest；　and　we　stood

face　to　face　in　the　empty　pompous　hall。



〃Well　then；　would　you　kindly　tell　me　to　whom　I　must　address　myself？

I'm　afraid　you'll　think　me　odiously　intrusive；　but　you　know　I　MUST

have　a　gardenupon　my　honor　I　must！〃



Her　face　was　not　young；　but　it　was　simple；　it　was　not　fresh；　but　it　was　mild。

She　had　large　eyes　which　were　not　bright；　and　a　great　deal　of　hair　which

was　not　〃dressed；〃　and　long　fine　hands　which　werepossiblynot　clean。

She　clasped　these　members　almost　convulsively　as；　with　a　confused；

alarmed　look；　she　broke　out；　〃Oh；　don't　take　it　away　from　us；

we　like　it　ourselves！〃



〃You　have　the　use　of　it　then？〃



〃Oh；　yes。　　If　it　wasn't　for　that！〃　　And　she　gave　a　shy；　melancholy　smile。



〃Isn't　it　a　luxury；　precisely？　　That's　why；　intending　to　be

in　Venice　some　weeks；　possibly　all　summer；　and　having　some

literary　work；　some　reading　and　writing　to　do；　so　that　I　must

be　quiet；　and　yet　if　possible　a　great　deal　in　the　open　air

that's　why　I　have　felt　that　a　garden　is　really　indispensable。

I　appeal　to　your　own　experience；〃　I　went　on；　smiling。

〃Now　can't　I　look　at　yours？〃



〃I　don't　know；　I　don't　understand；〃　the　poor　woman　murmured；

planted　there　and　letting　her　embarrassed　eyes　wander　all

over　my　strangeness。



〃I　mean　only　from　one　of　those　windowssuch　grand　ones

as　you　have　hereif　you　will　let　me　open　the　shutters。〃

And　I　walked　toward　the　back　of　the　house。　　When　I　had　advanced

halfway　I　stopped　and　waited；　as　if　I　took　it　for　granted　she　would

accompany　me。　　I　had　been　of　necessity　very　abrupt；　but　I　strove

at　the　same　time　to　give　her　the　impression　of　extreme　courtesy。

〃I　have　been　looking　at　furnished　rooms　all　over　the　place；

and　it　seems　impossible　to　find　any　with　a　garden　attached。

Naturally　in　a　place　like　Venice　gardens　are　rare。　　It's　absurd

if　you　like；　for　a　man；　but　I　can't　live　without　flowers。〃



〃There　are　none　to　speak　of　down　there。〃　　She　came　nearer　to　me；　as　if；

though　she　mistrusted　me；　I　had　drawn　her　by　an　invisible　thread。

I　went　on　again；　and　she　continued　as　she　followed　me：　　〃We　have　a　few；

but　they　are　very　common。　　It　costs　too　much　to　cultivate　them；

one　has　to　have　a　man。〃



〃Why　shouldn't　I　be　the　man？〃　　I　asked。　　〃I'll　work　without　wages；

or　rather　I'll　put　in　a　gardener。　　You　shall　have　the　sweetest

flowers　in　Venice。〃



She　protested　at　this；　with　a　queer　little　sigh　which　might

also　have　been　a　gush　of　rapture　at　the　picture　I　presented。

Then　she　observed；　〃We　don't　know　youwe　don't　know　you。〃



〃You　know　me　as　much　as　I　know　you：　　that　is　much　more；　because　you

know　my　name。　　And　if　you　are　English　I　am　almost　a　countryman。〃



〃We　are　not　English；〃　said　my　companion；　watching　me　helplessly　while　I　threw

open　the　shutters　of　one　of　the　divisions　of　the　wide　high　window。



〃You　speak　the　language　so　beautifully：　　might　I　ask　what　you　are？〃

Seen　from　above　the　garden　was　certainly　shabby；　but　I　perceived

at　a　glance　that　it　had　great　capabilities。　　She　made　no　rejoinder；

she　was　so　lost　in　staring　at　me；　and　I　exclaimed；　〃You　don't　mean

to　say　you　are　also　by　chance　American？〃



〃I　don't　know；　we　used　to　be。〃



〃Used　to　be？　　Surely　you　haven't　changed？〃



〃It's　so　many　years　agowe　are　nothing。〃



〃So　many　years　that　you　have　been　living　here？　　Well；　I　don't　wonder

at　that；　it's　a　grand　old　house。　　I　suppose　you　all　use　the　garden；〃

I　went　on；　〃but　I　assure　you　I　shouldn't　be　in　your　way。

I　would　be　very　quiet　and　stay　in　one　corner。〃



〃We　all　use　it？〃　she　repeated　after　me；　vaguely；　not　coming　close

to　the　window　but　looking　at　my　shoes。　　She　appeared　to　think　me

capable　of　throwing　her　out。



〃I　mean　all　your　family；　as　many　as　you　are。〃



〃There　is　only　one　other；　she　is　very　oldshe　never　goes　down。〃



〃Only　one　other；　in　all　this　great　house！〃　　I　feigned　to　be　not　only　amazed

but　almost　scandalized。　　〃Dear　lady；　you　must　have　space　then　to　spare！〃



〃To　spare？〃　she　repeated；　in　the　same　dazed　way。



〃Why；　you　surely　don't　live　（two　quiet　womenI　see　YOU

are　quiet；　at　any　rate）　in　fifty　rooms！〃　　Then　with　a　burst

of　hope　and　cheer　I　demanded：　　〃Couldn't　you　let　me　two　or　three？

That　would　set　me　up！〃



I　had　not　struck　the　note　that　translated　my　purpose；　and　I　need

not　reproduce　the　whole　of　the　tune　I　played。　　I　ended　by　making　my

interlocutress　believe　that　I　was　an　honorable　person；　though　of　course

I　did　not　even　attempt　to　persuade　her　that　I　was　not　an　eccentric　one。

I　repeated　that　I　had　studies　to　pursue；　that　I　wanted　quiet；

that　I　delighted　in　a　garden　and　had　vainly　sought　one　up　and

down　the　city；　that　I　would　undertake　that　before　another　month

was　over　the　dear　old　house　should　be　smothered　in　flowers。

I　think　it　was　the　flowers　that　won　my　suit；　for　I　afterward　found

that　Miss　Tita　（for　such　the　name　of　this　high　tremulous　spinster　proved

somewhat　incongruously　to　be）　had　an　insatiable　appetite　for　them。

When　I　speak　of　my　suit　as　won　I　mean　that　before　I　left　her　she

had　promised　that　she　would　refer　the　question　to　her　aunt。

I　inquired　who　her　aunt　might　be　and　she　answered；　〃Why；　Miss　Bordereau！〃

with　an　air　of　surprise；　as　if　I　might　have　been　expected　to　know。

There　were　contradictions　like　this　in　Tita　Bordereau　which；　as　I

observed　later；　contributed　to　make　her　an　odd　and　affecting　person。

It　was　the　study　of　the　two　ladies　to　live　so　that　the　world

should　not　touch　them；　and　yet　they　had　never　altogether　accepted

the　idea　that　it　never　heard　of　them。　　In　Tita　at　any　rate

a　grateful　susceptibility　to　human　contact　had　not　died　out；

and　contact　of　a　limited　order　there　would　be　if　I　should　come

to　live　in　the　house。



〃We　have　never　done　anything　of　the　sort；　we　have　never　had　a　lodger

or　any　kind　of　inmate。〃　　So　much　as　this　she　made　a　point　of　saying　to　me。

〃We　are　very　poor；　we　live　very　badly。　　The　rooms　are　very　bare

that　you　might　take；　they　have　nothing　in　them。　　I　don't　know　how　you

would　sleep；　how　you　would　eat。〃



〃With　your　permission；　I　could　easily　put　in　a　bed　and　a　few

tables　and　chairs。　　C'est　la　moindre　des　choses　and

the　affair　of　an　hour　or　two。　　I　know　a　little　man　from　whom

I　can　hire　what　I　should　want　for　a　few　months；　for　a　trifle；

and　my　gondolier　can　bring　the　things　round　in　his　boat。

Of　course　in　this　great　house　you　must　have　a　second　kitchen；

and　my　servant；　who　is　a　wonderfully　handy　fellow〃　（this　personage

was　an　evocation　of　the　moment）；　〃can　easily　cook　me　a　chop　there。

My　tastes　and　habits　are　of　the　simplest；　I　live　on　flowers！〃

And　then　I　ventured　to　add　that　if　they　were　very　poor

it　was　all　the　more　reason　they　should　let　their　rooms。

They　were　bad　economistsI　had　never　heard　of　such　a

waste　of　material。



I　saw　in　a　moment　that　the　good　lady　had　never　before　been　spoken

to　in　that　way；　with　a　kind　of　humorous　firmness　which　did

not　exclude　sympathy　but　was　on　the　contrary　founded　on　it。

She　might　easily　have　told　me　that　my　sympathy　was　impertinent；

but　this　by　good　fortune　did　not　occur　to　her。

I　left　her　with　the　understanding　that　she　would　consider

the　matter　with　her　aunt　and