father sergius-第6部分

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'I　will　come　to　you　directly；'　he　said；　and　having　opened　his

door；　he　went　without　looking　at　her　through　the　cell　into　the

porch　where　he　used　to　chop　wood。　　There　he　felt　for　the　block

and　for　an　axe　which　leant　against　the　wall。



'Immediately！'　he　said；　and　taking　up　the　axe　with　his　right　hand

he　laid　the　forefinger　of　his　left　hand　on　the　block；　swung　the

axe；　and　struck　with　it　below　the　second　joint。　　The　finger　flew

off　more　lightly　than　a　stick　of　similar　thickness；　and　bounding

up；　turned　over　on　the　edge　of　the　block　and　then　fell　to　the

floor。



He　heard　it　fall　before　he　felt　any　pain；　but　before　he　had　time

to　be　surprised　he　felt　a　burning　pain　and　the　warmth　of　flowing

blood。　　He　hastily　wrapped　the　stump　in　the　skirt　of　his　cassock；

and　pressing　it　to　his　hip　went　back　into　the　room；　and　standing

in　front　of　the　woman；　lowered　his　eyes　and　asked　in　a　low　voice：

'What　do　you　want？'



She　looked　at　his　pale　face　and　his　quivering　left　cheek；　and

suddenly　felt　ashamed。　　She　jumped　up；　seized　her　fur　cloak；　and

throwing　it　round　her　shoulders；　wrapped　herself　up　in　it。



'I　was　in　pain　。　。　。　I　have　caught　cold　。　。　。　I　。　。　。　Father

Sergius　。　。　。　I　。　。　。'



He　let　his　eyes；　shining　with　a　quiet　light　of　joy；　rest　upon

her；　and　said：



'Dear　sister；　why　did　you　wish　to　ruin　your　immortal　soul？　

Temptations　must　come　into　the　world；　but　woe　to　him　by　whom

temptation　comes。　　Pray　that　God　may　forgive　us！'



She　listened　and　looked　at　him。　　Suddenly　she　heard　the　sound　of

something　dripping。　　She　looked　down　and　saw　that　blood　was

flowing　from　his　hand　and　down　his　cassock。



'What　have　you　done　to　your　hand？'　　She　remembered　the　sound　she

had　heard；　and　seizing　the　little　lamp　ran　out　into　the　porch。　

There　on　the　floor　she　saw　the　bloody　finger。　　She　returned　with

her　face　paler　than　his　and　was　about　to　speak　to　him；　but　he

silently　passed　into　the　back　cell　and　fastened　the　door。



'Forgive　me！'　she　said。　　'How　can　I　atone　for　my　sin？'



'Go　away。'



'Let　me　tie　up　your　hand。'



'Go　away　from　here。'



She　dressed　hurriedly　and　silently；　and　when　ready　sat　waiting　in

her　furs。　　The　sledge…bells　were　heard　outside。



'Father　Sergius；　forgive　me！'



'Go　away。　　God　will　forgive。'



'Father　Sergius！　　I　will　change　my　life。　　Do　not　forsake　me！'



'Go　away。'



'Forgive　meand　give　me　your　blessing！'



'In　the　name　of　the　Father　and　of　the　Son　and　of　the　Holy

Ghost！'she　heard　his　voice　from　behind　the　partition。　　'Go！'



She　burst　into　sobs　and　left　the　cell。　　The　lawyer　came　forward

to　meet　her。



'Well；　I　see　I　have　lost　the　bet。　　It　can't　be　helped。　Where　will

you　sit？'



'It　is　all　the　same　to　me。'



She　took　a　seat　in　the　sledge；　and　did　not　utter　a　word　all　the

way　home。



A　year　later　she　entered　a　convent　as　a　novice；　and　lived　a

strict　life　under　the　direction　of　the　hermit　Arseny；　who　wrote

letters　to　her　at　long　intervals。







IV



Father　Sergius　lived　as　a　recluse　for　another　seven　years。



At　first　he　accepted　much　of　what　people　brought　himtea；　sugar；

white　bread；　milk；　clothing；　and　fire…wood。　But　as　time　went　on

he　led　a　more　and　more　austere　life；　refusing　everything

superfluous；　and　finally　he　accepted　nothing　but　rye…bread　once　a

week。　　Everything　else　that　was　brought　to　him　he　gave　to　the

poor　who　came　to　him。　He　spent　his　entire　time　in　his　cell；　in

prayer　or　in　conversation　with　callers；　who　became　more　and　more

numerous　as　time　went　on。　　Only　three　times　a　year　did　he　go　out

to　church；　and　when　necessary　he　went　out　to　fetch　water　and

wood。



The　episode　with　Makovkina　had　occurred　after　five　years　of　his

hermit　life。　　That　occurrence　soon　became　generally　knownher

nocturnal　visit；　the　change　she　underwent；　and　her　entry　into　a

convent。　　From　that　time　Father　Sergius's　fame　increased。　　More

and　more　visitors　came　to　see　him；　other　monks　settled　down　near

his　cell；　and　a　church　was　erected　there　and　also　a　hostelry。　

His　fame；　as　usual　exaggerating　his　feats；　spread　ever　more　and

more　widely。　　People　began　to　come　to　him　from　a　distance；　and

began　bringing　invalids　to　him　whom　they　declared　he　cured。



His　first　cure　occurred　in　the　eighth　year　of　his　life　as　a

hermit。　　It　was　the　healing　of　a　fourteen…year…old　boy；　whose

mother　brought　him　to　Father　Sergius　insisting　that　he　should　lay

his　hand　on　the　child's　head。　　It　had　never　occurred　to　Father

Sergius　that　he　could　cure　the　sick。　He　would　have　regarded　such

a　thought　as　a　great　sin　of　pride；　but　the　mother　who　brought　the

boy　implored　him　insistently；　falling　at　his　feet　and　saying：

'Why　do　you；　who　heal　others；　refuse　to　help　my　son？'　　She

besought　him　in　Christ's　name。　　When　Father　Sergius　assured　her

that　only　God　could　heal　the　sick；　she　replied　that　she　only

wanted　him　to　lay　his　hands　on　the　boy　and　pray　for　him。　　Father

Sergius　refused　and　returned　to　his　cell。　　But　next　day　（it　was

in　autumn　and　the　nights　were　already　cold）　on　going　out　for

water　he　saw　the　same　mother　with　her　son；　a　pale　boy　of

fourteen；　and　was　met　by　the　same　petition。



He　remembered　the　parable　of　the　unjust　judge；　and　though　he　had

previously　felt　sure　that　he　ought　to　refuse；　he　now　began　to

hesitate　and；　having　hesitated；　took　to　prayer　and　prayed　until　a

decision　formed　itself　in　his　soul。　　This　decision　was；　that　he

ought　to　accede　to　the　woman's　request　and　that　her　faith　might

save　her　son。　As　for　himself；　he　would　in　this　case　be　but　an

insignificant　instrument　chosen　by　God。



And　going　out　to　the　mother　he　did　what　she　askedlaid　his　hand

on　the　boy's　head　and　prayed。



The　mother　left　with　her　son；　and　a　month　later　the　boy

recovered；　and　the　fame　of　the　holy　healing　power　of　the　starets

Sergius　（as　they　now　called　him）　spread　throughout　the　whole

district。　　After　that；　not　a　week　passed　without　sick　people

coming；　riding　or　on　foot；　to　Father　Sergius；　and　having　acceded

to　one　petition　he　could　not　refuse　others；　and　he　laid　his　hands

on　many　and　prayed。　　Many　recovered；　and　his　fame　spread　more　and

more。



So　seven　years　passed　in　the　Monastery　and　thirteen　in　his

hermit's　cell。　　He　now　had　the　appearance　of　an　old　man：　his

beard　was　long　and　grey；　but　his　hair；　though　thin；　was　still

black　and　curly。







V



For　some　weeks　Father　Sergius　had　been　living　with　one　persistent

thought：　whether　he　was　right　in　accepting　the　position　in　which

he　had　not　so　much　placed　himself　as　been　placed　by　the

Archimandrite　and　the　Abbot。　　That　position　had　begun　after　the

recovery　of　the　fourteen…year…old　boy。　　From　that　time；　with　each

month；　week；　and　day　that　passed；　Sergius　felt　his　own　inner　life

wasting　away　and　being　replaced　by　external　life。　　It　was　as　if

he　had　been　turned　inside　out。



Sergius　saw　that　he　was　a　means　of　attracting　visitors　and

contributions　to　the　monastery；　and　that　therefore　the

authorities　arranged　matters　in　such　a　way　as　to　make　as　much　use

of　him　as　possible。　　For　instance；　they　rendered　it　impossible

for　him　to　do　any　manual　work。　　He　was　supplied　with　everything

he　could　want；　and　they　only　demanded　of　him　that　he　should　not

refuse　his　blessing　to　those　who　came　to　seek　it。　　For　his

convenience　they　appointed　days　when　he　would　receive。　　They

arranged　a　reception…room　for　men；　and　a　place　was　railed　in　so

that　he　should　not　be　pushed　over　by　the　crowds　of　women

visitors；　and　so　that　he　could　conveniently　bless　those　who　came。



They　told　him　that　people　needed　him；　and　that　fulfilling

Christ's　law　of　love　he　could　not　refuse　their　demand　to　see　him；

and　that　to　avoid　them　would　be　cruel。　　He　could　not　but　agree

with　this；　but　the　more　he　gave　himself　up　to　such　a　life　the

more　he　felt　that　what　was　internal　became　external；　and　that　the

fount　of　living　water　within　him　dried　up；　and　that　what　he　did

now　was　done　more　and　more　for　men　and　less　and　less　for　God。



Whether　he　admonished　people；　or　simply　blessed　them；　or　prayed

for　the　sick；　or　advised　people　about　their　lives；　or　listened　to

expressions　of　gratitude　from　those　he　had　helped　by　precepts；　or

alms；　or　healing　（as　they　assured　him）he　could　not　help　being

pleased　at　it；　and　could　not　be　indifferent　to　the　results　of　his

activity　and　to　the　influence　he　exerted。　　He　thought　himself　a

shining　light；　and　the　more　he　felt　this　the　more　was　he

conscious　of　a　weakening；　a　dying　down　of　the　divine　light　of

truth　that　shone　within　him。



'In　how　far　is　what　I　do　for　God　and　in　how　far　is　it　for　men？'　

That　was　the　question　that　insistently　tormented　him　and　to　which

he　was　not　so　much　unable　to　give　himself　an　answer　as　unable　to

face　the　answer。



In　the　depth　of　his　soul　he　felt　that　the　devil　had　substituted

an　activity　for　men　in　place　of　his　former　activity　for　God。　　He

felt　this　because；　just　as　it　had　formerly　been　hard　for　him　to

be　torn　from　his　solitude　so　now　that　solitude　itself　was　hard

for　him。　　He　was　oppressed　and　wearied　by　visitors；　but　at　the

bottom　of　his　heart　he　was　glad　of　their　presence　and　glad　of　the

praise　they　heaped　upon　him。



There　was　a　time　when　he　decided　to　go　away　and　hide。　He　even

planned　all　that　was　necessary　for　that　purpose。　He　prepared　for

himself　a　peasant's　shirt；　trousers；　coat；　and　cap。　　He　explained

that　he　wanted　these　to　give　to　those　who　asked。　　And　he　kept

these　clothes　in　his　cell；　planning　how　he　would　put　them　on；　cut

his　hair　short；　and　go　away。　　First　he　would　go　some　three

hundred　versts　by　train；　then　he　would　leave　the　train　and　walk

from　village　to　village。　　He　asked　an　old　man　who　had　been　a

soldier　how　he　tramped：　what　people　gave　him；　and　what　shelter

they　allowed　him。　　The　soldier　told　him　where　people　were　most

charitable；　and　where　they　would　take　a　wanderer　in　for　the

night；　and　Father　Sergius　intended　to　avail　himself　of　this

inf