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which　if　it　said　anything　said　shut　up。



〃I　think　so；　too；〃　said　Lohengrin；　a　lowering　look　on　his

face。　〃If　it　doesn't；　it　will　either　snow；　or　hail；　or　be

clear。〃　And　he　gazed　abstractedly　out　of　the　window。



The　kick　and　the　man's　confusion　were　sufficient　proof。　　I　was

on　the　right　track　at　last。　Yet　the　evidence　was　unsatisfactory

because　merely　circumstantial。　My　piece　of　down　might　have

come　from　an　opera　cloak　and　not　from　a　well…broken　swan；

the　hair　might　equally　clearly　have　come　from　some　other　head

than　Lohengrin's；　and　other　men　have　had　trouble　with　their

wives。　The　circumstantial　evidence　lying　in　the　coincidences

was　strong　but　not　conclusive；　so　I　resolved　to　pursue　the

matter　and　invite　the　strange　individual　to　a　luncheon　with　me；

at　which　I　proposed　to　wear　the　tinsel　tights。　Seeing　them；

he　might　be　forced　into　betraying　himself。



This　I　did；　and　while　my　impressions　were　confirmed　by　his

demeanor；　no　positive　evidence　grew　out　of　it。



〃I'm　hungry　as　a　bear！〃　he　said；　as　I　entered　the　club；　clad　in

a　long；　heavy　ulster；　reaching　from　my　shoulders　to　the　ground；

so　that　the　tights　were　not　visible。



〃Good；〃　said　I。　〃I　like　a　hearty　eater；〃　and　I　ordered　a

luncheon　of　ten　courses　before　removing　my　overcoat；　but

not　one　morsel　could　the　man　eat；　for　on　the　removal　of　my

coat　his　eye　fell　upon　my　silver　garments；　and　with　a　gasp

he　wellnigh　fainted。　It　was　clear。　He　recognized　them　and　was

afraid；　and　in　consequence　lost　his　appetite。　But　he　was　game；

and　tried　to　laugh　it　off。



〃Silver　man；　I　see；〃　he　said；　nervously；　smiling。



〃No；〃　said　I；　taking　the　lock　of　golden　hair　from　my　pocket

and　dangling　it　before　him。　〃Bimetallist。〃



His　jaw　dropped　in　dismay；　but　recovering　himself　instantly

he　put　up　a　fairly　good　fight。



〃It　is　strange；　Mr。　Lohengrin；〃　said　I；　〃that　in　the　three

years　I　have　been　here　I've　never　seen　you　before。〃



〃I've　been　very　quiet；〃　he　said。　〃Fact　is；　I　have　had　my

reasons；　Mr。　Holmes；　for　preferring　the　life　of　a　hermit。

A　youthful　indiscretion；　sir；　has　made　me　fear　to　face　the

world。　There　was　nothing　wrong　about　it；　save　that　it　was　a

folly；　and　I　have　been　anxious　in　these　days　of　newspapers

to　avoid　any　possible　revival　of　what　might　in　some　eyes

seem　scandalous。〃



I　felt　sorry　for　him；　but　my　duty　was　clear。　Here　was　my　man

but　how　to　gain　direct　proof　was　still　beyond　me。　No　further

admissions　could　be　got　out　of　him；　and　we　soon　parted。



Two　days　later　the　lady　called　and　again　I　reported　progress。



〃It　needs　but　one　thing；　madame；　to　convince　me　that　I　have

found　your　husband；〃　said　I。　〃I　have　found　a　man　who　might　be

connected　with　swan's…down；　from　whose　luxuriant　curls　might

have　come　this　tow…colored　lock；　and　who　might　have　worn　the

silver…tinsel　tightsyet　it　is　all　MIGHT　and　no　certainty。〃



〃I　will　bring　my　small　brother's　bugle　and　the　tin　sword；〃

said　she。　〃The　sword　has　certain　properties　which　may　induce

him　to　confess。　My　brother　tells　me　that　if　he　simply　shakes

it　at　a　cat　the　cat　falls　dead。〃



〃Do　so；〃　said　I；　〃and　I　will　try　it　on　him。　If　he　recognizes

the　sword　and　remembers　its　properties　when　I　attempt　to

brandish　it　at　him；　he'll　be　forced　to　confess；　though　it

would　be　awkward　if　he　is　the　wrong　man　and　the　sword　should

work　on　him　as　it　does　on　the　cat。〃



The　next　day　I　was　in　possession　of　the　famous　toy。　It　was

not　very　long；　and　rather　more　suggestive　of　a　pancake…turner

than　a　sword；　but　it　was　a　terror。　I　tested　its　qualities　on

a　swarm　of　gnats　in　my　room；　and　the　moment　I　shook　it　at

them　they　fluttered　to　the　ground　as　dead　as　door…nails。



〃I'll　have　to　be　careful　of　this　weapon；〃　I　thought。　〃It

would　be　terrible　if　I　should　brandish　it　at　a　motor…man

trying　to　get　one　of　the　Gehenna　Traction　Company's　cable…cars

to　stop　and　he　should　drop　dead　at　his　post。〃



All　was　now　ready　for　the　demonstration。　Fortunately　the

following　Saturday　night　was　club　night　at　the　House…Boat；

and　we　were　all　expected　to　come　in　costume。　For　dramatic

effect　I　wore　a　yellow　wig；　a　helmet；　the　silver…tinsel

tights；　and　a　doublet　to　match；　with　the　brass　bugle　and　the

tin　sword　properly　slung　about　my　person。　I　looked　stunning；

even　if　I　do　say　it；　and　much　to　my　surprise　several　people

mistook　me　for　the　man　I　was　after。　Another　link　in　the　chain！

EVEN　THE　PUBLIC　UNCONSCIOUSLY　RECOGNIZED　THE　VALUE　OF　MY

DEDUCTIONS。　THEY　CALLED　ME　LOHENGRIN！



And　of　course　it　all　happened　as　I　expected。　It　always　does。

Lohengrin　came　into　the　assembly…room　five　minutes　after　I

did　and　was　visibly　annoyed　at　my　make…up。



〃This　is　a　great　liberty；〃　said　he；　grasping　the　hilt　of　his

sword；　but　I　answered　by　blowing　the　bugle　at　him；　at　which

he　turned　livid　and　fell　back。　He　had　recognized　its　soft

cadence。　I　then　hauled　the　sword　from　my　belt；　shook　it　at

a　fly　on　the　wall；　which　immediately　died；　and　made　as　if　to

do　the　　same　at　Lohengrin；　whereupon　he　cried　for　mercy　and

fell　upon　his　knees。



〃Turn　that　infernal　thing　the　other　way！〃　he　shrieked。



〃Ah！〃　said　I；　lowering　my　arm。　〃Then　you　know　its　properties？〃



〃I　doI　do！〃　he　cried。　〃It　used　to　be　mineI　confess　it！〃



〃Then；〃　said　I；　calmly　putting　the　horrid　bit　of　zinc　back

into　my　belt；　〃that's　all　I　wanted　to　know。　If　you'll　come

up　to　my　office　some　morning　next　week　I'll　introduce　you　to

your　wife；〃　and　I　turned　from　him。



My　mission　accomplished；　I　left　the　festivities　and　returned

to　my　quarters　where　my　fair　client　was　awaiting　me。



〃Well？〃　she　said。



〃It's　all　right；　Mrs。　Lohengrin；〃　I　said；　and　the　lady　cried

aloud　with　joy　at　the　name；　for　it　was　the　very　one　she　had

hoped　it　would　be。　〃My　man　turns　out　to　be　your　man；　and　I

turn　him　over　therefore　to　you；　only　deal　gently　with　him。

He's　a　pretty　decent　chap　and　sings　like　a　bird。〃



Whereon　I　presented　her　with　my　bill　for　5000　oboli；　which

she　paid　without　a　murmur；　as　was　entirely　proper　that　she

should；　for　upon　the　evidence　which　I　had　secured　the　fair

plaintiff；　in　the　suit　for　separation　of　Elsa　vs。　Lohengrin

on　the　ground　of　desertion　and　non…support；　obtained　her

decree；　with　back　alimony　of　twenty…five　per　cent。　of

Lohengrin's　income　for　a　trifle　over　fifteen　hundred　years。



How　much　that　amounted　to　I　really　do　not　know；　but　that　it

was　a　large　sum　I　am　sure；　for　Lohengrin　must　have　been　very

wealthy。　He　couldn't　have　afforded　to　dress　in　solid　silver…tinsel

tights　if　he　had　been　otherwise。　I　had　the　tights　assayed

before　returning　them　to　their　owner；　and　even　in　a　country

where　free　coinage　of　tights　is　looked　upon　askance　they

could　not　be　duplicated　for　less　than　850　at　a　ratio　of

32　to　1。









CHAPTER　X



GOLF　IN　HADES









〃Jim；〃　said　I　to　Boswell　one　morning　as　the　type…writer　began

to　work；　〃perhaps　you　can　enlighten　me　on　a　point　concerning

which　a　great　many　people　have　questioned　me　recently。　Has

golf　taken　hold　of　Hades　yet？　You　referred　to　it　some　time

ago；　and　I've　been　wondering　ever　since　if　it　had　become　a

fad　with　you。〃



〃Has　it？〃　laughed　my　visitor；　〃well；　I　should　rather　say　it

had。　The　fact　is；　it　has　been　a　great　boon　to　the　country。

You　remember　my　telling　you　of　the　projected　revolution　led

by　Cromwell；　and　Caesar；　and　the　others？〃



〃I　do；　very　well；〃　said　I；　〃and　I　have　been　intending　to　ask

you　how　it　came　out。〃



〃Oh；　everything's　as　fine　and　sweet　as　can　be　now；〃　rejoined

Boswell；　somewhat　gleefully；　〃and　all　because　of　golf。　We　are

all　quiet　along　the　Styx　now。　All　animosities　are　buried　in

the　general　love　of　golf；　and　every　one　of　us；　high　or　low；

autocrat　and　revolutionist；　is　hobnobbing　away　in　peace　and

happiness　on　the　links。　Why；　only　six　weeks　ago；　Apollyon　was

for　cooking　Bonaparte　on　a　waffle　iron；　and　yesterday　the　two

went　out　to　the　Cimmerian　links　together　and　played　a　mixed

foursome；　Bonaparte　and　Medusa　playing　against　Apollyon　and

Delilah。〃



〃Dear　me！　Really？〃　I　cried。　〃That　must　have　been　an　interesting

match。〃



〃It　was；　and　up　to　the　very　last　it　was　nip…and…tuck　between

'em；〃　said　Boswell。　〃Apollyon　and　Delilah　won　it　with　one

hole　up；　and　they　got　that　on　the　put。　They'd　have　halved　the

hole　if　Medusa's　back　hair　hadn't　wiggled　loose　and　bitten　her

caddie　just　as　she　was　holeing　out。〃



〃It　is　a　remarkable　game；〃　said　I。　〃There　is　no　sensation　in

the　world　quite　equal　to　that　which　comes　to　a　man's　soul　when

he　has　hit　the　ball　a　solid　clip　and　sees　it　sail　off　through

the　air　towards　the　green；　whizzing　musically　along　like　a　very

bird。〃



〃True；〃　said　Boswell；　〃but　I'm　rather　of　the　opinion　that　it's

a　safer　game　for　shades　than　for　you　purely　material　persons。〃



〃I　don't　see　why；〃　I　answered。



〃It　is　easy　to　understand；〃　returned　Boswell。　〃For　instance；

with　us　there　is　no　resistance　when　by　a　mischance　we　come

into　unexpected　contact　with　the　ball。　Take　the　experience　of

Diogenes　and　Solomon　at　the　St。　Jonah's　Links　week　before

last。　The　Wiseman's　Handicap　was　on。　Diogenes　and　Simple

Simon　were　playing　just　ahead　of　Solomon　and　Montaigne。

Solomon　was　driving　in　great　form。　For　the　first　time　in

his　life　he　seemed　able　to　keep　his　eye　on　the　ball；　and　the

way　he　sent　it　flying　through　the　air　was　a　caution。　Diogenes

and　Simple　Simon　had　both　had　their　second　stroke　and　Solomon

drove　off。　His　ball　sailed　straight　ahead　like　a　missile　from

a　catapult；　flew　in　a　bee…line　for　Diogenes；　struck　him　at　the

base　of　his　brain；　continued　on　through；　and　landed　on　the　edge

of　the　green。〃



〃Mercy！〃　I　cried。　〃Didn't　it　kill　him？〃



〃Of　course　not；〃　retorted　Boswell。　〃You　can't　kill　a　shade。

Diogenes　didn't　know　he'd　been　hit；　but　if　that　had　happened

to　one　of　you　material　golfers　there'd　have　been　a　sickening

end　to　that　tournament。〃



〃There　would；　indeed；〃　said　I。　〃There　isn't　much