the history of john bull-第6部分

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ll…fours；　sold　his　books；　pawned　his　linen；　which　we　were　always　forced　to　redeem。　　Then　the　whole　generation　of　him　are　so　in　love　with　bagpipes　and　puppet…shows！　　I　wish　you　knew　what　my　husband　has　paid　at　the　pastry…cook's　and　confectioner's　for　Naples　biscuits；　tarts；　custards；　and　sweetmeats。　　All　this　while　my　husband　considered　him　as　a　gentleman　of　a　good　family　that　had　fallen　into　decay；　gave　him　good　education；　and　has　settled　him　in　a　good　creditable　way　of　livinghaving　procured　him；　by　his　interest；　one　of　the　best　places　of　the　country。　　And　what　return；　think　you；　does　this　fine　gentleman　make　us？　he　will　hardly　give　me　or　my　husband　a　good　word；　or　a　civil　expression。　　Instead　of　Sir　and　Madam　（which；　though　I　say　it；　is　our　due）；　he　calls　us　〃goody　〃　and　〃gaffer〃　such…a…one；　says　he　did　us　a　great　deal　of　honour　to　board　with　us；　huffs　and　dings　at　such　a　rate；　because　we　will　not　spend　the　little　we　have　left　to　get　him　the　title　and　estate　of　Lord　Strutt；　and　then　forsooth；　we　shall　have　the　honour　to　be　his　woollen…drapers。**　Besides；　Esquire　South　will　be　Esquire　South　still；　fickle；　proud；　and　ungrateful。　　If　he　behaves　himself　so　when　he　depends　on　us　for　his　daily　bread；　can　any　man　say　what　he　will　do　when　he　is　got　above　the　world？

*　Something　relating　to　the　manners　of　a　great　prince；　superstition；　love　of　operas；　shows；　etc。　**　Something　relating　to　forms　and　titles。

D。　DIEGO。And　would　you　lose　the　honour　of　so　noble　and　generous　an　undertaking？　　Would　you　rather　accept　this　scandalous　composition；　and　trust　that　old　rogue；　Lewis　Baboon？

MRS。　BULL。Look　you；　Friend　Diego；　if　we　law　it　on　till　Lewis　turns　honest；　I　am　afraid　our　credit　will　run　low　at　Blackwell　Hall。　　I　wish　every　man　had　his　own；　but　I　still　say；　that　Lord　Strutt's　money　shines　as　bright　and　chinks　as　well　as　Esquire　South's。　　I　don't　know　any　other　hold　that　we　tradesmen　have　of　these　great　folks　but　their　interest：　　buy　dear　and　sell　cheap；　and　I　warrant　ye　you　will　keep　your　customer。　　The　worst　is；　that　Lord　Strutt's　servants　have　got　such　a　haunt　about　that　old　rogue's　shop；　that　it　will　cost　us　many　a　firkin　of　strong　beer　to　bring　them　back　again；　and　the　longer　they　are　in　a　bad　road；　the　harder　it　will　be　to　get　them　out　of　it。

D。　DIEGO。But　poor　Frog；　what　has　he　done！　　On　my　conscience；　if　there　be　an　honest；　sincere　man　in　the　world；　it　is　that　Frog。

MRS。　BULL。I　think　I　need　not　tell　you　how　much　Frog　has　been　obliged　to　our　family　from　his　childhood；　he　carries　his　head　high　now；　but　he　had　never　been　the　man　he　is　without　our　help。*　　Ever　since　the　commencement　of　this　lawsuit；　it　has　been　the　business　of　Hocus；　in　sharing　out　expenses；　to　plead　for　Frog。　　〃Poor　Frog；〃　says　he；　〃is　in　hard　circumstances；　he　has　a　numerous　family；　and　lives　from　hand　to　mouth；　his　children　don't　eat　a　bit　of　good　victuals　from　one　year's　end　to　the　other；　but　live　upon　salt　herring；　sour　curd；　and　borecole。　　He　does　his　utmost；　poor　fellow；　to　keep　things　even　in　the　world；　and　has　exerted　himself　beyond　his　ability　in　this　lawsuit；　but　he　really　has　not　wherewithal　to　go　on。　What　signifies　this　hundred　pounds？　place　it　upon　your　side　of　the　account；　it　is　a　great　deal　to　poor　Frog；　and　a　trifle　to　you。〃　This　has　been　Hocus's　constant　language；　and　I　am　sure　he　has　had　obligations　enough　to　us　to　have　acted　another　part。

*　Complaints　of　the　House　of　Commons　of　the　unequal　burden　of　the　war。

D。　DIEGO。No　doubt　Hocus　meant　all　this　for　the　best；　but　he　is　a　tender…hearted；　charitable　man；　Frog　is　indeed　in　hard　circumstances。

MRS。　BULLHard　circumstances！　　I　swear　this　is　provoking　to　the　last　degree。　　All　the　time　of　the　lawsuit；　as　fast　as　I　have　mortgaged；　Frog　has　purchased：　　from　a　plain　tradesman；　with　a　shop；　warehouse；　and　a　country　hut　with　a　dirty　fish…pond　at　the　end　of　it；　he　is　now　grown　a　very　rich　country　gentleman；　with　a　noble　landed　estate；　noble　palaces；　manors；　parks；　gardens；　and　farms；　finer　than　any　we　were　ever　master　of。*　　Is　it　not　strange；　when　my　husband　disbursed　great　sums　every　term；　Frog　should　be　purchasing　some　new　farm　or　manor？　so　that　if　this　lawsuit　lasts；　he　will　be　far　the　richest　man　in　his　country。　　What　is　worse　than　all　this；　he　steals　away　my　customers　every　day；　twelve　of　the　richest　and　the　best　have　left　my　shop　by　his　persuasion；　and　whom；　to　my　certain　knowledge；　he　has　under　bonds　never　to　return　again：　　judge　you　if　this　be　neighbourly　dealing。

*　The　Dutch　acquisitions　in　Flanders。

D。　DIEGOFrog　is　indeed　pretty　close　in　his　dealings；　but　very　honest：　　you　are　so　touchy；　and　take　things　so　hotly；　I　am　sure　there　must　be　some　mistake　in　this。

MRS。　BULLA　plaguy　one　indeed！　　You　know；　and　have　often　told　me　of　it；　how　Hocus　and　those　rogues　kept　my　husband；　John　Bull；　drunk　for　five　years　together　with　punch　and　strong　waters：　　I　am　sure　he　never　went　one　night　sober　to　bed；　till　they　got　him　to　sign　the　strangest　deed　that　ever　you　saw　in　your　life。　　The　methods　they　took　to　manage　him　I'll　tell　you　another　time；　at　present　I'll　read　only　the　writing。

Articles　of　Agreement　betwixt　JOHN　BULL；　Clothier；　and　NICHOLAS　FROG；　Linen…draper。*

*　The　sentiments　of　the　House　of　Commons；　and　their　representation　of　the　Barrier　Treaty。

I。　　That　for　maintaining　the　ancient　good　correspondence　and　friendship　between　the　said　parties；　I；　Nicholas　Frog；　do　solemnly　engage　and　promise　to　keep　peace　in　John　Bull's　family；　that　neither　his　wife；　children；　nor　servants；　give　him　any　trouble；　disturbance；　or　molestation　whatsoever；　but　to　oblige　them　all　to　do　their　duty　quietly　in　their　respective　stations。　　And　whereas　the　said　John　Bull；　from　the　assured　confidence　that　he　has　in　my　friendship；　has　appointed　me　executor　of　his　last　will　and　testament；　and　guardian　to　his　children；　I　do　undertake　for　me；　my　heirs　and　assigns；　to　see　the　same　duly　executed　and　performed；　and　that　it　shall　be　unalterable　in　all　its　parts　by　John　Bull；　or　anybody　else：　　for　that　purpose　it　shall　be　lawful　and　allowable　for　me　to　enter　his　house　at　any　hour　of　the　day　or　night；　to　break　open　bars；　bolts；　and　doors；　chests　of　drawers；　and　strong　boxes；　in　order　to　secure　the　peace　of　my　friend　John　Bull's　family；　and　to　see　his　will　duly　executed。

II。　　In　consideration　of　which　kind　neighbourly　office　of　Nicholas　Frog；　in　that　he　has　been　pleased　to　accept　of　the　aforesaid　trust；　I；　John　Bull；　having　duly　considered　that　my　friend；　Nicholas　Frog；　at　this　time　lives　in　a　marshy　soil　and　unwholesome　air；　infested　with　fogs　and　damps；　destructive　of　the　health　of　himself；　wife；　and　children；　do　bind　and　oblige　me；　my　heirs　and　assigns；　to　purchase　for　the　said　Nicholas　Frog；　with　the　best　and　readiest　of　my　cash；　bonds；　mortgages；　goods　and　chattels；　a　landed　estate；　with　parks；　gardens；　palaces；　rivers；　fields；　and　outlets；　consisting　of　as　large　extent　as　the　said　Nicholas　Frog　shall　think　fit。　　And　whereas　the　said　Nicholas　Frog　is　at　present　hemmed　in　too　close　by　the　grounds　of　Lewis　Baboon；　master　of　the　science　of　defence；　I；　the　said　John　Bull；　do　oblige　myself　with　the　readiest　of　my　cash；　to　purchase　and　enclose　the　said　grounds；　for　as　many　fields　and　acres　as　the　said　Nicholas　shall　think　fit；　to　the　intent　that　the　said　Nicholas　may　have　free　egress　and　regress；　without　let　or　molestation；　suitable　to　the　demands　of　himself　and　family。

III。　　Furthermore；　the　said　John　Bull　obliges　himself　to　make　the　country　neighbours　of　Nicholas　Frog　allot　a　certain　part　of　yearly　rents；　to　pay　for　the　repairs　of　the　said　landed　estate；　to　the　intent　that　his　good　friend；　Nicholas　Frog；　may　be　eased　of　all　charges。

IV。　　And　whereas　the　said　Nicholas　Frog　did　contract　with　the　deceased　Lord　Strutt　about　certain　liberties；　privileges；　and　immunities；　formerly　in　the　possession　of　the　said　John　Bull；　I；　the　said　John　Bull；　do　freely　by　these　presents；　renounce；　quit；　and　make　over　to　the　said　Nicholas；　the　liberties；　privileges；　and　immunities　contracted　for；　in　as　full　a　manner；　as　if　they　never　had　belonged　to　me。

V。　　The　said　John　Bull　obliges　himself；　his　heirs　and　assigns；　not　to　sell　one　rag　of　broad　or　coarse　cloth　to　any　gentleman　within　the　neighbourhood　of　the　said　Nicholas；　except　in　such　quantities　and　such　rates　as　the　said　Nicholas　shall　think　fit。　　　　　　Signed　and　sealed；　　　　　　　　　　　JOHN　BULL；　　　　　　　　　　　NIC。　FROG。

The　reading　of　this　paper　put　Mrs。　Bull　in　such　a　passion　that　she　fell　downright　into　a　fit；　and　they　were　forced　to　give　her　a　good　quantity　of　the　spirit　of　hartshorn　before　she　recovered。

D。　DIEGOWhy　in　such　a　passion；　cousin？　considering　your　circumstances　at　that　time；　I　don't　think　this　such　an　unreasonable　contract。　　You　see　Frog；　for　all　this；　is　religiously　true　to　his　bargain；　he　scorns　to　hearken　to　any　composition　without　your　privacy。

MRS。　BULL。You　know　the　contrary。*　Read　that　letter。

＇Reads　the　superscription。＇　For　Lewis　Baboon；　Master　of　the　Noble　Science　of　Defence。

〃SIR。I　understand　that　you　are　at　this　time　treating　with　my　friend　John　Bull；　about　restoring　the　Lord　Strutt's　custom；　and　besides　allowing　him　certain　privileges　of　parks　and　fish…ponds；　I　wonder　how　you　that　are　a　man　that　knows　the　world；　can　talk　with　that　simple　fellow。　　He　has　been　my　bubble　these　twenty　years；　and　to　my　certain　knowledge；　understands　no　more　of　his　own　affairs　than　a　child　in　swaddling　clothes。　　I　know　he　has　got　a　sort　of　a　pragmatical　silly　jade　of　a　wife；　that　pretends　to　take　him　out　of　my　hands；　but　you　and　she　both　will　find　yourselves　mistaken；　I'll　find　those　that　shall　manage　her；　and　for　him；　he　dares　as　well　be　hanged　as　make　one　step　in　his　affairs　without　my　consent。　　If　you　will　give　me　what　you　promised　him；　I　will　make　all　things　easy；　and　stop　the　deeds　of　ejectment　against　Lord　Strutt：　　if　you　will　not；　take　what　follows。　　I　shall　have　a　good　action　against　you；　for　pretending　to　rob　me　of　my　bubble。　　Take　this　warning　from　　　　　　〃Your　loving　friend；　　　　　　　　　　　〃NIC。　FROG。〃

*　Secret　negotiations　of　the　Dutch　at　that　time。

I　am　told；　cousin　Diego；　you　are　one　of　those　that　have　undertaken　to　manage　me；　and　that　you　have　said　you　will　carry　a　green　bag　yourself；　rather　than　we　shall　make　an　end　of　our　lawsuit：　　I'll　teach　them　and　you　too　to　m