reminiscences of tolstoy-第6部分

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Afterward　papa　kept　dogs　only　because　there　was　Agafya　Mikhailovna　to　be　thought　of；　and　Uncle　Seryozha　gave　up　sport　because　it　was　impossible　to　keep　dogs。

〃Since　the　emancipation　of　the　peasants；〃　he　said；　〃sport　is　out　of　the　question；　there　are　no　huntsmen　to　be　had；　and　the　peasants　turn　out　with　sticks　and　drive　the　sportsmen　off　the　fields。　　What　is　there　left　to　do　nowadays？　　Country　life　has　become　impossible。〃

With　all　his　good　breeding　and　sincerity；　Uncle　Seryozha　never　concealed　any　characteristic　but　one；　with　the　utmost　shyness　he　concealed　the　tenderness　of　his　affections；　and　if　it　ever　forced　itself　into　the　light；　it　was　only　in　exceptional　circumstances　and　that　against　his　will。

He　displayed　with　peculiar　clearness　a　family　characteristic　which　was　partly　shared　by　my　father；　namely；　an　extraordinary　restraint　in　the　expression　of　affection；　which　was　often　concealed　under　the　mask　of　indifference　and　sometimes　even　of　unexpected　harshness。　　In　the　matter　of　wit　and　sarcasm；　on　the　other　hand；　he　was　strikingly　original。

At　one　period　he　spent　several　winters　in　succession　with　his　family　in　Moscow。　　One　time；　after　a　historic　concert　given　by　Anton　Rubinstein；　at　which　Uncle　Seryozha　and　his　daughter　had　been；　he　came　to　take　tea　with　us　in　Weavers'　Row。＇13＇

＇13＇　Khamsvniki；　a　street　in　Moscow。


My　father　asked　him　how　he　had　liked　the　concert。

〃Do　you　remember　Himbut；　Lyovotchka？　　Lieutenant　Himbut；　who　was　forester　near　Yasnaya？　　I　once　asked　him　what　was　the　happiest　moment　of　his　life。　　Do　you　know　what　he　answered？

〃'When　I　was　in　the　cadet　corps；'　he　said；　'they　used　to　take　down　my　breeches　now　and　again　and　lay　me　across　a　bench　and　flog　me。　　They　flogged　and　they　flogged；　when　they　stopped；　that　was　the　happiest　moment　of　my　life。'　　Well；　it　was　only　during　the　entr'actes；　when　Rubinstein　stopped　playing；　that　I　really　enjoyed　myself。〃

He　did　not　always　spare　my　father。

Once　when　I　was　out　shooting　with　a　setter　near　Pirogovo；　I　drove　in　to　Uncle　Seryozha's　to　stop　the　night。

I　do　not　remember　apropos　of　what；　but　Uncle　Seryozha　averred　that　Lyovotchka　was　proud。　　He　said：

〃He　is　always　preaching　humility　and　non…resistance；　but　he　is　proud　himself。

〃Nashenka's　＇14＇　sister　had　a　footman　called　Forna。　When　he　got　drunk；　he　used　to　get　under　the　staircase；　tuck　in　his　legs；　and　lie　down。　　One　day　they　came　and　told　him　that　the　countess　was　calling　him。　　'She　can　come　and　find　me　if　she　wants　me；'　he　answered。

　＇14＇　Maria　Mikhailovna；　his　wife。


〃Lyovotchka　is　just　the　same。　　When　Dolgoruky　sent　his　chief　secretary　Istomin　to　ask　him　to　come　and　have　a　talk　with　him　about　Syntayef；　the　sectarian；　do　you　know　what　he　answered？

〃'Let　him　come　here；　if　he　wants　me。'　　Isn't　that　just　the　same　as　Forna？

〃No；　Lyovotchka　is　very　proud。　　Nothing　would　induce　him　to　go；　and　he　was　quite　right；　but　it's　no　good　talking　of　humility。〃

During　the　last　years　of　Sergei　Nikolayevitch's　life　my　father　was　particularly　friendly　and　affectionate　with　him；　and　delighted　in　sharing　his　thoughts　with　him。

A。　A。　Fet　in　his　reminiscences　describes　the　character　of　all　the　three　Tolstoy　brothers　with　extraordinary　perspicacity：


I　am　convinced　that　the　fundamental　type　of　all　the　three　Tolstoy　brothers　was　identical；　just　as　the　type　of　all　maple…leaves　is　identical；　despite　the　variety　of　their　configurations。　　And　if　I　set　myself　to　develop　the　idea；　I　could　show　to　what　a　degree　all　three　brothers　shared　in　that　passionate　enthusiasm　without　which　it　would　have　been　impossible　for　one　of　them　to　turn　into　the　poet　Lyoff　Tolstoy。　　The　difference　of　their　attitude　to　life　was　determined　by　the　difference　of　the　ways　in　which　they　turned　their　backs　on　their　unfulfilled　dreams。　Nikolai　quenched　his　ardor　in　skeptical　derision；　Lyoff　renounced　his　unrealized　dreams　with　silent　reproach；　and　Sergei　with　morbid　misanthropy。　　The　greater　the　original　store　of　love　in　such　characters；　the　stronger；　if　only　for　a　time；　is　their　resemblance　to　Timon　of　Athens。

In　the　winter　of　1901…02　my　father　was　ill　in　the　Crimea；　and　for　a　long　time　lay　between　life　and　death。　　Uncle　Seryozha；　who　felt　himself　getting　weaker；　could　not　bring　himself　to　leave　Pirogovo；　and　in　his　own　home　followed　anxiously　the　course　of　my　father's　illness　by　the　letters　which　several　members　of　our　family　wrote　him；　and　by　the　bulletins　in　the　newspapers。

When　my　father　began　to　improve；　I　went　back　home；　and　on　the　way　from　the　Crimea　went　to　Pirogovo；　in　order　to　tell　Uncle　Seryozha　personally　about　the　course　of　the　illness　and　about　the　present　condition　of　my　father's　health。　　I　remember　how　joyfully　and　gratefully　he　welcomed　me。

〃How　glad　I　am　that　you　came！　　Now　tell　me　all　about　it。　　Who　is　with　him？　　All　of　them？　　And　who　nurses　him　most？　　Do　you　go　on　duty　in　turn？　　And　at　night；　too？　　He　can't　get　out　of　bed。　　Ah；　that's　the　worst　thing　of　all！

〃It　will　be　my　turn　to　die　soon；　a　year　sooner　or　later；　what　does　it　matter？　　But　to　lie　helpless；　a　burden　to　every　one；　to　have　others　doing　everything　for　you；　lifting　you　and　helping　you　to　sit　up；　that's　what's　so　awful。

〃And　how　does　he　endure　it？　　Got　used　to　it；　you　say？　　No；　I　cannot　imagine　having　Vera　to　change　my　linen　and　wash　me。　　Of　course　she　would　say　that　it's　nothing　to　her；　but　for　me　it　would　be　awful。

〃And　tell　me；　is　he　afraid　to　die？　　Does　he　say　not？　　Very　likely；　he's　a　strong　man；　he　may　be　able　to　conquer　the　fear　of　it。　　Yes；　yes；　perhaps　he's　not　afraid；　but　still

〃You　say　he　struggles　with　the　feeling？　　Why；　of　course；　what　else　can　one　do？

〃I　wanted　to　go　and　be　with　him；　but　I　thought；　how　can　I？　　I　shall　crack　up　myself；　and　then　there　will　be　two　invalids　instead　of　one。

〃Yes；　you　have　told　me　a　great　deal；　every　detail　is　interesting。　　It　is　not　death　that's　　so　terrible；　it's　illness；　helplessness；　and；　above　all；　the　fear　that　you　are　a　burden　to　others。　That's　awful；　awful。〃

Uncle　Seryozha　died　in　1904　of　cancer　in　the　face。　　This　is　what　my　aunt；　Maria　Nikolayevna；　＇15＇　the　nun；　told　me　about　his　death。　　Almost　to　the　last　day　he　was　on　his　legs；　and　would　not　let　any　one　nurse　him。　　He　was　in　full　possession　of　his　faculties　and　consciously　prepared　for　death。

＇15＇　Tolstoy's　sister。　　She　became　a　nun　after　her　husband's　death　and　the　marriage　of　her　three　daughters。


Besides　his　own　family；　the　aged　Maria　Mikhailovna　and　her　daughters；　his　sister；　Maria　Nikolayevna；　who　told　me　the　story；　was　with　him；　too；　and　from　hour　to　hour　they　expected　the　arrival　of　my　father；　for　whom　they　had　sent　a　messenger　to　Yasnaya。　　They　were　all　troubled　with　the　difficult　question　whether　the　dying　man　would　want　to　receive　the　holy　communion　before　he　died。

Knowing　Sergei　Nikolayevitch's　disbelief　in　the　religion　of　the　church；　no　one　dared　to　mention　the　subject　to　him；　and　the　unhappy　Maria　Mikhailovna　hovered　round　his　room；　wringing　her　hands　and　praying。

They　awaited　my　father's　arrival　impatiently；　but　were　secretly　afraid　of　his　influence　on　his　brother；　and　hoped　against　hope　that　Sergei　Nikolayevitch　would　send　for　the　priest　before　his　arrival。

〃Imagine　our　surprise　and　delight；〃　said　Maria　Tolstoy；　〃when　Lyovotchka　came　out　of　his　room　and　told　Maria　Mikhailovna　that　Seryozha　wanted　a　priest　sent　for。　I　do　not　know　what　they　had　been　talking　about；　but　when　Seryozha　said　that　he　wished　to　take　the　communion；　Lyovotchka　answered　that　he　was　quite　right；　and　at　once　came　and　told　us　what　he　wanted。〃

My　father　stayed　about　a　week　at　Pirogovo；　and　left　two　days　before　my　uncle　died。

When　he　received　a　telegram　to　say　he　was　worse；　he　drove　over　again；　but　arrived　too　late；　he　was　no　longer　living。　　He　carried　his　body　out　from　the　house　with　his　own　hands；　and　himself　bore　it　to　the　churchyard。

When　he　got　back　to　Yasnaya　he　spoke　with　touching　affection　of　his　parting　with　this　〃inscrutable　and　beloved〃　brother；　who　was　so　strange　and　remote　from　him；　but　at　the　same　time　so　near　and　so　akin。



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　FET；　STRAKHOF；　GAY

〃WHAT'S　this　saber　doing　here？〃　asked　a　young　guardsman；　Lieutenant　Afanasyi　Afanasyevitch　Fet；　of　the　footman　one　day　as　he　entered　the　hall　of　Ivan　Sergeyevitch　Turgenieff's　flat　in　St。　Petersburg　in　the　middle　of　the　fifties。

〃It　is　Count　Tolstoy's　saber；　he　is　asleep　in　the　drawing…room。　　And　Ivan　Sergeyevitch　is　in　his　study　having　breakfast；〃　replied　Zalchar。

〃During　the　hour　I　spent　with　Turgenieff；〃　says　Fet；　in　his　reminiscences；　〃we　talked　in　low　voices；　for　fear　of　waking　the　count；　who　was　asleep　on　the　other　side　of　the　door。〃

〃He's　like　that　all　the　time；〃　said　Turgenieff；　smiling；　〃ever　since　he　got　back　from　his　battery　at

Sebastopol；＇16＇　and　came　to　stay　here；　he　has　been　going　the　pace。　　Orgies；　Gipsies；　and　gambling　all　night　long；　and　then　sleeps　like　a　dead　man　till　two　o'clock　in　the　afternoon。　　I　did　my　best　to　stop　him；　but　have　given　it　up　as　a　bad　job。

＇16＇　Tolstoy　was　in　the　artillery；　and　commanded　a　battery　in　the　Crimea。


〃It　was　in　this　visit　to　St。　Petersburg　that　I　and　Tolstoy　became　acquainted；　but　the　acquaintance　was　of　a　purely　formal　character；　as　I　had　not　yet　seen　a　line　of　his　writings；　and　had　never　heard　of　his　name　in　literature；　except　that　Turgenieff　mentioned　his　'Stories　of　Childhood。'〃

Soon　after　this　my　father　came　to　know　Fet　intimately；　and　they　struck　up　a　firm　and　lasting　friendship；　and　established　a　correspondence　which　lasted　almost　till　Fet's　death。

It　was　only　during　the　last　years　of　Fet's　life；　when　my　father　was　entirely　absorbed　in　his　new　ideas；　which　were　so　at　variance　with　Afanasyi　Afanasyevitch's　whole　philosophy　of　life；　that　they　became　estranged　and　met　more　rarely。

It　was　at　Fet's；　at　Stepanovka；　that　my　father　and　Turgenieff　quarreled。

Before　the　railway　was　made；　when　people　still　had　to　drive；　Fet；　on　his　way　into　Moscow；　always　used　to　turn　in　at　Yasnaya　Polyana　to　see　my　father；　and　these　visits　became　an　established　custom。　　Afterward；　when　the　railway　was　made　and　my　father　was　already　married；　Afanasyi　Afanasyevitch　still　never　passed　our　house　without　coming　in；　and　if　he　did；　my　father　used　to　write　him　a　letter　of　earnest