clocks-第2部分

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Appearances；　to　whom　all　mankind　bows　the　knee！

But　we　must　hold　him　aloft　very　carefully；　oh；　my　brother　warriors！
He　needs　much　〃keeping　up。〃　　He　has　no　bones　and　sinews　of　his　own；
the　poor　old　flimsy　fellow！　　If　we　take　our　hands　from　him；　he　will
fall　a　heap　of　worn…out　rags；　and　the　angry　wind　will　whirl　him　away；
and　leave　us　forlorn。　　Oh；　let　us　spend　our　lives　keeping　him　up；　and
serving　him；　and　making　him　greatthat　is；　evermore　puffed　out　with
air　and　nothingnessuntil　he　burst；　and　we　along　with　him！

Burst　one　day　he　must；　as　it　is　in　the　nature　of　bubbles　to　burst；
especially　when　they　grow　big。　　Meanwhile；　he　still　reigns　over　us；
and　the　world　grows　more　and　more　a　world　of　pretense　and　exaggeration
and　lies；　and　he　who　pretends　and　exaggerates　and　lies　the　most
successfully；　is　the　greatest　of　us　all。

The　world　is　a　gingerbread　fair；　and　we　all　stand　outside　our　booths
and　point　to　the　gorgeous…colored　pictures；　and　beat　the　big　drum　and
brag。　　Brag！　brag！　　Life　is　one　great　game　of　brag！

〃Buy　my　soap；　oh　ye　people；　and　ye　will　never　look　old；　and　the　hair
will　grow　again　on　your　bald　places；　and　ye　will　never　be　poor　or
unhappy　again；；　and　mine　is　the　only　true　soap。　　Oh；　beware　of
spurious　imitations！〃

〃Buy　my　lotion；　all　ye　that　suffer　from　pains　in　the　head；　or　the
stomach；　or　the　feet；　or　that　have　broken　arms；　or　broken　hearts；　or
objectionable　mothers…in…law；　and　drink　one　bottle　a　day；　and　all　your
troubles　will　be　ended。〃

〃Come　to　my　church；　all　ye　that　want　to　go　to　Heaven；　and　buy　my　penny
weekly　guide；　and　pay　my　pew…rates；　and；　pray　ye；　have　nothing　to　do
with　my　misguided　brother　over　the　road。　　_This_　is　the　only　safe
way！〃

〃Oh；　vote　for　me；　my　noble　and　intelligent　electors；　and　send　our
party　into　power；　and　the　world　shall　be　a　new　place；　and　there　shall
be　no　sin　or　sorrow　any　more！　　And　each　free　and　independent　voter
shall　have　a　bran　new　Utopia　made　on　purpose　for　him；　according　to　his
own　ideas；　with　a　good…sized；　extra…unpleasant　purgatory　attached；　to
which　he　can　send　everybody　he　does　not　like。　　Oh！　do　not　miss　this
chance！〃

Oh！　listen　to　my　philosophy；　it　is　the　best　and　deepest。　　Oh！　hear　my
songs；　they　are　the　sweetest。　　Oh！　buy　my　pictures；　they　alone　are
true　art。　　Oh！　read　my　books；　they　are　the　finest。

Oh！　_I_　am　the　greatest　cheesemonger；　_I_　am　the　greatest　soldier；　_I_
am　the　greatest　statesman；　_I_　am　the　greatest　poet；　_I_　am　the
greatest　showman；　_I_　am　the　greatest　mountebank；　_I_am　the　greatest
editor；　and　_I_　am　the　greatest　patriot。　　_We_　are　the　greatest
nation。　　_We_　are　the　only　good　people。　　_Ours_　is　the　only　true
religion。　　Bah！　how　we　all　yell！

How　we　all　brag　and　bounce；　and　beat　the　drum　and　shout；　and　nobody
believes　a　word　we　utter；　and　the　people　ask　one　another；　saying：

〃How　can　we　tell　who　is　the　greatest　and　the　cleverest　among　all　these
shrieking　braggarts？〃

And　they　answer：

〃There　is　none　great　or　clever。　　The　great　and　clever　men　are　not
here；　there　is　no　place　for　them　in　this　pandemonium　of　charlatans　and
quacks。　　The　men　you　see　here　are　crowing　cocks。　　We　suppose　the
greatest　and　the　best　of　_them_　are　they　who　crow　the　loudest　and　the
longest；　that　is　the　only　test　of　_their_　merits。〃

Therefore；　what　is　left　for　us　to　do；　but　to　crow？　　And　the　best　and
greatest　of　us　all；　is　he　who　crows　the　loudest　and　the　longest　on
this　little　dunghill　that　we　call　our　world！

Well；　I　was　going　to　tell　you　about　our　clock。

It　was　my　wife's　idea；　getting　it；　in　the　first　instance。　　We　had　been
to　dinner　at　the　Buggles'；　and　Buggles　had　just　bought　a
clock〃picked　it　up　in　Essex；〃　was　the　way　he　described　the
transaction。　　Buggles　is　always　going　about　〃picking　up〃　things。　　He
will　stand　before　an　old　carved　bedstead；　weighing　about　three　tons；
and　say：

〃Yespretty　little　thing！　　I　picked　it　up　in　Holland；〃　as　though　he
had　found　it　by　the　roadside；　and　slipped　it　into　his　umbrella　when
nobody　was　looking！

Buggles　was　rather　full　of　this　clock。　　It　was　of　the　good
old…fashioned　〃grandfather〃　type。　　It　stood　eight　feet　high；　in　a
carved…oak　case；　and　had　a　deep；　sonorous；　solemn　tick；　that　made　a
pleasant　accompaniment　to　the　after…dinner　chat；　and　seemed　to　fill
the　room　with　an　air　of　homely　dignity。

We　discussed　the　clock；　and　Buggles　said　how　he　loved　the　sound　of　its
slow；　grave　tick；　and　how；　when　all　the　house　was　still；　and　he　and　it
were　sitting　up　alone　together；　it　seemed　like　some　wise　old　friend
talking　to　him；　and　telling　him　about　the　old　days　and　the　old　ways　of
thought；　and　the　old　life　and　the　old　people。

The　clock　impressed　my　wife　very　much。　　She　was　very　thoughtful　all
the　way　home；　and；　as　we　went　upstairs　to　our　flat；　she　said；　〃Why
could　not　we　have　a　clock　like　that？〃　　She　said　it　would　seem　like
having　some　one　in　the　house　to　take　care　of　us　allshe　should　fancy
it　was　looking　after　baby！

I　have　a　man　in　Northamptonshire　from　whom　I　buy　old　furniture　now　and
then；　and　to　him　I　applied。　　He　answered　by　return　to　say　that　he　had
got　exactly　the　very　thing　I　wanted。　　（He　always　has。　　I　am　very　lucky
in　this　respect。）　　It　was　the　quaintest　and　most　old…fashioned　clock
he　had　come　across　for　a　long　while；　and　he　enclosed　photograph　and
full　particulars；　should　he　send　it　up？

From　the　photograph　and　the　particulars；　it　seemed；　as　he　said；　the
very　thing；　and　I　told　him；　〃Yes；　send　it　up　at　once。〃

Three　days　afterward；　there　came　a　knock　at　the　doorthere　had　been
other　knocks　at　the　door　before　this；　of　course；　but　I　am　dealing
merely　with　the　history　of　the　clock。　　The　girl　said　a　couple　of　men
were　outside；　and　wanted　to　see　me；　and　I　went　to　them。

I　found　they　were　Pickford's　carriers；　and　glancing　at　the　way…bill；　I
saw　that　it　was　my　clock　that　they　had　brought；　and　I　said；　airily；
〃Oh；　yes；　it's　quite　right；　bring　it　up！〃

They　said　they　were　very　sorry；　but　that　was　just　the　difficulty。
They　could　not　get　it　up。

I　went　down　with　them；　and　wedged　securely　across　the　second　landing
of　the　staircase；　I　found　a　box　which　I　should　have　judged　to　be　the
original　case　in　which　Cleopatra's　Needle　came　over。

They　said　that　was　my　clock。

I　brought　down　a　chopper　and　a　crowbar；　and　we　sent　out　and　collected
in　two　extra　hired　ruffians　and　the　five　of　us　worked　away　for　half　an
hour　and　got　the　clock　out；　after　which　the　traffic　up　and　down　the
staircase　was　resumed；　much　to　the　satisfaction　of　the　other　tenants。

We　then　got　the　clock　upstairs　and　put　it　together；　and　I　fixed　it　in
the　corner　of　the　dining…room。

At　first　it　exhibited　a　strong　desire　to　topple　over　and　fall　on
people；　but　by　the　liberal　use　of　nails　and　screws　and　bits　of
firewood；　I　made　life　in　the　same　room　with　it　possible；　and　then；
being　exhausted；　I　had　my　wounds　dressed；　and　went　to　bed。

In　the　middle　of　the　night　my　wife　woke　me　up　in　a　great　state　of
alarm；　to　say　that　the　clock　had　just　struck　thirteen；　and　who　did　I
think　was　going　to　die？

I　said　I　did　not　know；　but　hoped　it　might　be　the　next…door　dog。

My　wife　said　she　had　a　presentiment　it　meant　baby。　　There　was　no
comforting　her；　she　cried　herself　to　sleep　again。

During　the　course　of　the　morning；　I　succeeded　in　persuading　her　that
she　must　have　made　a　mistake；　and　she　consented　to　smile　once　more。
In　the　afternoon　the　clock　struck　thirteen　again。

This　renewed　all　her　fears。　　She　was　convinced　now　that　both　baby　and
I　were　doomed；　and　that　she　would　be　left　a　childless　widow。　　I　tried
to　treat　the　matter　as　a　joke；　and　this　only　made　her　more　wretched。
She　said　that　she　could　see　I　really　felt　as　she　did；　and　was　only
pretending　to　be　light…hearted　for　her　sake；　and　she　said　she　would
try　and　bear　it　bravely。

The　person　she　chiefly　blamed　was　Buggles。

In　the　night　the　clock　gave　us　another　warning；　and　my　wife　accepted
it　for　her　Aunt　Maria；　and　seemed　resigned。　　She　wished；　however；　that
I　had　never　had　the　clock；　and　wondered　when；　if　ever；　I　should　get
cured　of　my　absurd　craze　for　filling　the　house　with　tomfoolery。

The　next　day　the　clock　struck　thirteen　four　times　and　this　cheered　her
up。　　She　said　that　if　we　were　all　going　to　die；　it　did　not　so　much
matter。　　Most　likely　there　was　a　fever　or　a　plague　coming；　and　we
should　all　be　taken　together。

She　was　quite　light…hearted　over　it！

After　that　the　clock　went　on　and　killed　every　friend　and　relation　we
had；　and　then　it　started　on　the　neighbors。

It　struck　thirteen　all　day　long　for　months；　until　we　were　sick　of
slaughter；　and　there　could　not　have　been　a　human　being　left　alive　for
miles　around。

Then　it　turned　over　a　new　leaf；　and　gave　up　murdering　folks；　and　took
to　striking　mere　harmless　thirty…nines　and　forty…ones。　　Its　favorite
number　now　is　thirty…two；　but　once　a　day　it　strikes　forty…nine。　　It
never　strikes　more　than　forty…nine。　　I　don't　know　whyI　have　never
been　able　to　understand　whybut　it　doesn't。

It　does　not　strike　at　regular　intervals；　but　when　it　feels　it　wants　to
and　would　be　better　for　it。　　Sometimes　it　strikes　three　or　four　times
within　the　same　hour；　and　at　other　times　it　will　go　for　half…a…day
without　striking　at　all。

He　is　an　odd　old　fellow！

I　have　thought　now　and　then　of　having　him　〃seen　to；〃　and　made　to　keep
regular　hours　and　be　respectable；　but；　somehow；　I　seem　to　have　grown
to　love　him　as　he　is　with　his　daring　mockery　of　Time。

He　certainly　has　not　much　respect　for　it。　　He　seems　to　go　out　of　his
way　almost　to　openly　insult　it。　　He　calls　half…past　two　thirty…eight
o'clock；　and　in　twenty　minutes　from　then　he　says　it　is　one！

Is　it　that　he　really　has　grown　to　feel　contempt　for　his　master；　and
wishes　to　show　it？　　They　say　no　man　is　a　hero　to　his　valet；　may　it　be
that　even　stony…face　Time　himself　is　but　a　short…lived；　puny　mortala
little　greater　than　some　others；　that　is　allto　the　dim　eyes　of　this
old　servant　of　his？　　Has　be；　ticking；　ticking；　all　these　years；　come
at　last　to　see　into　the　littleness　of　that　Time　that　looms　so　great　to
our　awed　human　eyes？

Is　he　saying；　as　he　grimly　laughs；　and　strikes　his　thirty…fives　and
forties：　　〃Bah！　I　know　you；　Time；　godlike　and　dread　though　you　seem。
What　are　you　but　a　phantoma　dream