a hazard of new fortunes v1-第5部分

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enabled　them　to　look　down　upon　those　who　were　without　such　tastes；　but
they　were　not　ill…natured；　and　so　they　did　not　look　down　so　much　with
contempt　as　with　amusement。　　In　their　unfashionable　neighborhood　they　had
the　fame　of　being　not　exclusive　precisely；　but　very　much　wrapped　up　in
themselves　and　their　children。

Mrs。　March　was　reputed　to　be　very　cultivated；　and　Mr。　March　even　more　so；
among　the　simpler　folk　around　them。　　Their　house　had　some　good　pictures；
which　her　aunt　had　brought　home　from　Europe　in　more　affluent　days；　and　it
abounded　in　books　on　which　he　spent　more　than　he　ought。　　They　had
beautified　it　in　every　way；　and　had　unconsciously　taken　credit　to　them
selves　for　it。　　They　felt；　with　a　glow　almost　of　virtue；　how　perfectly　it
fitted　their　lives　and　their　children's；　and　they　believed　that　somehow
it　expressed　their　charactersthat　it　was　like　them。　　They　went　out　very
little；　she　remained　shut　up　in　its　refinement；　working　the　good　of　her
own；　and　he　went　to　his　business；　and　hurried　back　to　forget　it；　and
dream　his　dream　of　intellectual　achievement　in　the　flattering　atmosphere
of　her　sympathy。　　He　could　not　conceal　from　himself　that　his　divided　life
was　somewhat　like　Charles　Lamb's；　and　there　were　times　when；　as　he　had
expressed　to　Fulkerson；　he　believed　that　its　division　was　favorable　to
the　freshness　of　his　interest　in　literature。　　It　certainly　kept　it　a　high
privilege；a　sacred　refuge。　　Now　and　then　he　wrote　something；and　got　it
printed　after　long　delays；　and　when　they　met　on　the　St。　Lawrence
Fulkerson　had　some　of　March's　verses　in　his　pocket…book；　which　he　had　cut
out　of　astray　newspaper　and　carried　about　for　years；　because　they　pleased
his　fancy　so　much；　they　formed　an　immediate　bond　of　union　between　the　men
when　their　authorship　was　traced　and　owned；　and　this　gave　a　pretty　color
of　romance　to　their　acquaintance。　　But；　for　the　most　part；　March　was
satisfied　to　read。　　He　was　proud　of　reading　critically；　and　he　kept　in
the　current　of　literary　interests　and　controversies。　　It　all　seemed　to
him；　and　to　his　wife　at　second…hand；　very　meritorious；　he　could　not　help
contrasting　his　life　and　its　inner　elegance　with　that　of　other　men　who
had　no　such　resources。　　He　thought　that　he　was　not　arrogant　about　it；
because　he　did　full　justice　to　the　good　qualities　of　those　other　people；
he　congratulated　himself　upon　the　democratic　instincts　which　enabled　him
to　do　this；　and　neither　he　nor　his　wife　supposed　that　they　were　selfish
persons。　　On　the　contrary；　they　were　very　sympathetic；　there　was　no　good
cause　that　they　did　not　wish　well；　they　had　a　generous　scorn　of　all　kinds
of　narrow…heartedness；　if　it　had　ever　come　into　their　way　to　sacrifice
themselves　for　others；　they　thought　they　would　have　done　so；　but　they
never　asked　why　it　had　not　come　in　their　way。　　They　were　very　gentle　and
kind；　even　when　most　elusive；　and　they　taught　their　children　to　loathe
all　manner　of　social　cruelty。　　March　was　of　so　watchful　a　conscience　in
some　respects　that　he　denied　himself　the　pensive　pleasure　of　lapsing　into
the　melancholy　of　unfulfilled　aspirations；　but　he　did　not　see　that；　if　he
had　abandoned　them；　it　had　been　for　what　he　held　dearer；　generally　he
felt　as　if　he　had　turned　from　them　with　a　high；　altruistic　aim。　　The
practical　expression　of　his　life　was　that　it　was　enough　to　provide　well
for　his　family；　to　have　cultivated　tastes；　and　to　gratify　them　to　the
extent　of　his　means；　to　be　rather　distinguished；　even　in　the
simplification　of　his　desires。　　He　believed；　and　his　wife　believed；　that
if　the　time　ever　came　when　he　really　wished　to　make　a　sacrifice　to　the
fulfilment　of　the　aspirations　so　long　postponed；　she　would　be　ready　to
join　with　heart　and　hand。

When　he　went　to　her　room　from　his　library；　where　she　left　him　the　whole
evening　with　the　children；　he　found　her　before　the　glass　thoughtfully
removing　the　first　dismantling　pin　from　her　back　hair。

〃I　can't　help　feeling；〃　she　grieved　into　the　mirror；　〃that　it's　I　who
keep　you　from　accepting　that　offer。　　I　know　it　is！　　I　could　go　West　with
you；　or　into　a　new　countryanywhere；　but　New　York　terrifies　me。　　I　don't
like　New　York；　I　never　did；　it　disheartens　and　distracts　me；　I　can't　find
myself　in　it；　I　shouldn't　know　how　to　shop。　　I　know　I'm　foolish　and
narrow　and　provincial；〃　she　went　on；　〃but　I　could　never　have　any　inner
quiet　in　New　York；　I　couldn't　live　in　the　spirit　there。　　I　suppose　people
do。　　It　can't；　be　that　all　these　millions'

〃Oh；　not　so　bad　as　that！〃　March　interposed；　laughing。　　〃There　aren't
quite　two。〃

〃I　thought　there　were　four　or　five。　　Well；　no　matter。　　You　see　what　I　am；
Basil。　　I'm　terribly　limited。　　I　couldn't　make　my　sympathies　go　round　two
million　people；　I　should　be　wretched。　　I　suppose　I'm　standing　in　the　way
of　your　highest　interest；　but　I　can't　help　it。　　We　took　each　other　for
better　or　worse；　and　you　must　try　to　bear　with　me〃　She　broke　off　and
began　to　cry。

〃Stop　it！〃　shouted　March。　　〃I　tell　you　I　never　cared　anything　for
Fulkerson's　scheme　or　entertained　it　seriously；　and　I　shouldn't　if　he'd
proposed　to　carry　it　out　in　Boston。〃　　This　was　not　quite　true；　but　in　the
retrospect　it　seemed　sufficiently　so　for　the　purposes　of　argument。
〃Don't　say　another　word　about　it。　　The　thing's　over　now；　and　I　don't　want
to　think　of　it　any　more。　　We　couldn't　change　its　nature　if　we　talked　all
night。　　But　I　want　you　to　understand　that　it　isn't　your　limitations　that
are　in　the　way。　　It's　mine。　　I　shouldn't　have　the　courage　to　take　such　a
place；　I　don't　think　I'm　fit　for　it；　and　that's　the　long　and　short　of
it。〃

〃Oh；　you　don't　know　how　it　hurts　me　to　have　you　say　that；　Basil。〃

The　next　morning；　as　they　sat　together　at　breakfast；　without　the
children；　whom　they　let　lie　late　on　Sunday；　Mrs。　March　said　to　her
husband；　silent　over　his　fish…balls　and　baked　beans：　〃We　will　go　to　New
York。　　I've　decided　it。〃

〃Well；　it　takes　two　to　decide　that；〃　March　retorted。　　〃We　are　not　going
to　New　York。〃

〃Yes；　we　are。　　I've　thought　it　out。　　Now；　listen。〃

〃Oh；　I'm　willing　to　listen；〃　he　consented；　airily。

〃You've　always　wanted　to　get　out　of　the　insurance　business；　and　now　with
that　fear　of　being　turned　out　which　you　have　you　mustn't　neglect　this
offer。　　I　suppose　it　has　its　risks；　but　it's　a　risk　keeping　on　as　we　are；
and　perhaps　you　will　make　a　great　success　of　it。　　I　do　want　you　to　try；
Basil。　　If　I　could　once　feel　that　you　had　fairly　seen　what　you　could　do
in　literature；　I　should　die　happy。〃

〃Not　immediately　after；　I　hope；〃　he　suggested；　taking　the　second　cup　of
coffee　she　had　been　pouring　out　for　him。　　〃And　Boston？〃

〃We　needn't　make　a　complete　break。　　We　can　keep　this　place　for　the
present；　anyway；　we　could　let　it　for　the　winter；　and　come　back　in　the
summer　next　year。　　It　would　be　change　enough　from　New　York。〃

〃Fulkerson　and　I　hadn't　got　as　far　as　to　talk　of　a　vacation。〃

〃No　matter。　　The　children　and　I　could　come。　　And　if　you　didn't　like　New
York；　or　the　enterprise　failed；　you　could　get　into　something　in　Boston
again；　and　we　have　enough　to　live　on　till　you　did。　　Yes；　Basil；　I'm
going。〃

〃I　can　see　by　the　way　your　chin　trembles　that　nothing　could　stop　you。
You　may　go　to　New　York　if　you　wish；　Isabel；　but　I　shall　stay　here。〃

〃Be　serious；　Basil。　　I'm　in　earnest。〃

〃Serious？　　If　I　were　any　more　serious　I　should　shed　tears。　　Come；　my
dear；　I　know　what　you　mean；　and　if　I　had　my　heart　set　on　this　thing
Fulkerson　always　calls　it　'this　thing'　I　would　cheerfully　accept　any
sacrifice　you　could　make　to　it。　　But　I'd　rather　not　offer　you　up　on　a
shrine　I　don't　feel　any　particular　faith　in。　　I'm　very　comfortable　where
I　am；　that　is；　I　know　just　where　the　pinch　comes；　and　if　it　comes　harder；
why；　I've　got　used　to　bearing　that　kind　of　pinch。　　I'm　too　old　to　change
pinches。〃

〃Now；　that　does　decide　me。〃

〃It　decides　me；　too。〃

〃I　will　take　all　the　responsibility；　Basil；〃　she　pleaded。

〃Oh　yes；　but　you'll　hand　it　back　to　me　as　soon　as　you've　carried　your
point　with　it。　　There's　nothing　mean　about　you；　Isabel；　where
responsibility　is　concerned。　　No；　if　I　do　this　thingFulkerson　again？
I　can't　get　away　from　'this　thing'；　it's　ominousI　must　do　it　because　I
want　to　do　it；　and　not　because　you　wish　that　you　wanted　me　to　do　it。
I　understand　your　position；　Isabel；　and　that　you're　really　acting　from　a
generous　impulse；　but　there's　nothing　so　precarious　at　our　time　of　life
as　a　generous　impulse。　　When　we　were　younger　we　could　stand　it；　we　could
give　way　to　it　and　take　the　consequences。　　But　now　we　can't　bear　it。　　We
must　act　from　cold　reason　even　in　the　ardor　of　self…sacrifice。〃

〃Oh；　as　if　you　did　that！〃　his　wife　retorted。

〃Is　that　any　cause　why　you　shouldn't？〃　　She　could　not　say　that　it　was；
and　he　went　on　triumphantly：

〃No；　I　won't　take　you　away　from　the　only　safe　place　on　the　planet　and
plunge　you　into　the　most　perilous；　and　then　have　you　say　in　your
revulsion　of　feeling　that　you　were　all　against　it　from　the　first；　and　you
gave　way　because　you　saw　I　had　my　heart　set　on　it。〃　　He　supposed　he　was
treating　the　matter　humorously；　but　in　this　sort　of　banter　between
husband　and　wife　there　is　always　much　more　than　the　joking。　　March　had
seen　some　pretty　feminine　inconsistencies　and　trepidations　which　once
charmed　him　in　his　wife　hardening　into　traits　of　middle…age　which　were
very　like　those　of　less　interesting　older　women。　　The　sight　moved　him
with　a　kind　of　pathos；　but　he　felt　the　result　hindering　and　vexatious。

She　now　retorted　that　if　he　did　not　choose　to　take　her　at　her　word　be
need　not；　but　that　whatever　he　did　she　should　have　nothing　to　reproach
herself　with；　and；　at　least；　he　could　not　say　that　she　had　trapped　him
into　anything。

〃What　do　you　mean　by　trapping？〃　　he　demanded。

〃I　don't　know　what　you　call　it；〃　she　answered；　〃but　when　you　get　me　to
commit　myself　to　a　thing　by　leaving　out　the　most　essential　point；　I　call
it　trapping。〃

〃I　wonder　you　stop　at　trapping；　if　you　think　I　got　you　to　favor
Fulkerson's　scheme　and　then　sprung　New　York　on　you。　　I　don't　suppose　you
do；　though。　　But　I　guess　we　won't　talk　about　it　any　more。〃

He　went　out　for　a　long　walk；　and　she　went　to　her　room。　　They　lunched
silently　together　in　the　presence　of　their　children；　who