a hazard of new fortunes v1-第7部分

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him　on　that　point。　　She　never　should　like　it。　　She　did　not　conceal；
either；　that　she　did　not　like　taking　the　children　out　of　the　Friday
afternoon　class；　and　she　did　not　believe　that　Tom　would　ever　be
reconciled　to　going　to　Columbia。　　She　took　courage　from　Fulkerson's
suggestion　that　it　was　possible　for　Tom　to　come　to　Harvard　even　from　New
York；　and　she　heaped　him　with　questions　concerning　the　domiciliation　of
the　family　in　that　city。　　He　tried　to　know　something　about　the　matter；
and　he　succeeded　in　seeming　interested　in　points　necessarily　indifferent
to　him。




VI。

In　the　uprooting　and　transplanting　of　their　home　that　followed；　Mrs。
March　often　trembled　before　distant　problems　and　possible　contingencies；
but　she　was　never　troubled　by　present　difficulties。　　She　kept　up　with
tireless　energy；　and　in　the　moments　of　dejection　and　misgiving　which
harassed　her　husband　she　remained　dauntless；　and　put　heart　into　him　when
he　had　lost　it　altogether。

She　arranged　to　leave　the　children　in　the　house　with　the　servants；　while
she　went　on　with　March　to　look　up　a　dwelling　of　some　sort　in　New　York。
It　made　him　sick　to　think　of　it；　and；　when　it　came　to　the　point；　he　would
rather　have　given　up　the　whole　enterprise。　　She　had　to　nerve　him　to　it；
to　represent　more　than　once　that　now　they　had　no　choice　but　to　make　this
experiment。　　Every　detail　of　parting　was　anguish　to　him。　　He　got
consolation　out　of　the　notion　of　letting　the　house　furnished　for　the
winter；　that　implied　their　return　to　it；　but　it　cost　him　pangs　of　the
keenest　misery　to　advertise　it；　and；　when　a　tenant　was　actually　found；　it
was　all　he　could　do　to　give　him　the　lease。　　He　tried　his　wife's　love　and
patience　as　a　man　must　to　whom　the　future　is　easy　in　the　mass　but
terrible　as　it　translates　itself　piecemeal　into　the　present。　　He
experienced　remorse　in　the　presence　of　inanimate　things　he　was　going　to
leave　as　if　they　had　sensibly　reproached　him；　and　an　anticipative
homesickness　that　seemed　to　stop　his　heart。　　Again　and　again　his　wife　had
to　make　him　reflect　that　his　depression　was　not　prophetic。　　She　convinced
him　of　what　he　already　knew；　and　persuaded　him　against　his　knowledge　that
he　could　be　keeping　an　eye　out　for　something　to　take　hold　of　in　Boston　if
they　could　not　stand　New　York。　　She　ended　by　telling　him　that　it　was　too
bad　to　make　her　comfort　him　in　a　trial　that　was　really　so　much　more　a
trial　to　her。　　She　had　to　support　him　in　a　last　access　of　despair　on
their　way　to　the　Albany　depot　the　morning　they　started　to　New　York；　but
when　the　final　details　had　been　dealt　with；　the　tickets　bought；　the
trunks　checked；　and　the　handbags　hung　up　in　their　car；　and　the　future　had
massed　itself　again　at　a　safe　distance　and　was　seven　hours　and　two
hundred　miles　away；　his　spirits　began　to　rise　and　hers　to　sink。　　He　would
have　been　willing　to　celebrate　the　taste；　the　domestic　refinement；　of　the
ladies'　waiting…room　in　the　depot；　where　they　had　spent　a　quarter　of　an
hour　before　the　train　started。　　He　said　he　did　not　believe　there　was
another　station　in　the　world　where　mahogany　rocking…chairs　were　provided；
that　the　dull…red　warmth　of　the　walls　was　as　cozy　as　an　evening　lamp；　and
that　he　always　hoped　to　see　a　fire　kindled　on　that　vast　hearth　and　under
that　aesthetic　mantel；　but　he　supposed　now　he　never　should。　　He　said　it
was　all　very　different　from　that　tunnel；　the　old　Albany　depot；　where　they
had　waited　the　morning　they　went　to　New　York　when　they　were　starting　on
their　wedding　journey。

〃The　morning；　Basil！〃　cried　his　wife。　　〃We　went　at　night；　and　we　were
going　to　take　the　boat；　but　it　stormed　so！〃　　She　gave　him　a　glance　of
such　reproach　that　he　could　not　answer　anything；　and　now　she　asked　him
whether　he　supposed　their　cook　and　second　girl　would　be　contented　with
one　of　those　dark　holes　where　they　put　girls　to　sleep　in　New　York　flats；
and　what　she　should　do　if　Margaret；　especially；　left　her。　　He　ventured　to
suggest　that　Margaret　would　probably　like　the　city；　but；　if　she　left；
there　were　plenty　of　other　girls　to　be　had　in　New　York。　　She　replied　that
there　were　none　she　could　trust；　and　that　she　knew　Margaret　would　not
stay。　　He　asked　her　why　she　took　her；　thenwhy　she　did　not　give　her　up
at　once；　and　she　answered　that　it　would　be　inhuman　to　give　her　up　just　in
the　edge　of　the　winter。　　She　had　promised　to　keep　her；　and　Margaret　was
pleased　with　the　notion　of　going　to　New　York；　where　she　had　a　cousin。

〃Then　perhaps　she'll　be　pleased　with　the　notion　of　staying；〃　he　said。

〃Oh；　much　you　know　about　it！〃　she　retorted；　and；　in　view　of　the
hypothetical　difficulty　and　his　want　of　sympathy；　she　fell　into　a　gloom；
from　which　she　roused　herself　at　last　by　declaring　that；　if　there　was
nothing　else　in　the　flat　they　took；　there　should　be　a　light　kitchen　and　a
bright；　sunny　bedroom　for　Margaret。　　He　expressed　the　belief　that　they
could　easily　find　such　a　flat　as　that；　and　she　denounced　his　fatal
optimism；　which　buoyed　him　up　in　the　absence　of　an　undertaking　and　let
him　drop　into　the　depths　of　despair　in　its　presence。

He　owned　this　defect　of　temperament；　but　he　said　that　it　compensated　the
opposite　in　her　character。　　〃I　suppose　that's　one　of　the　chief　uses　of
marriage；　people　supplement　one　another；　and　form　a　pretty　fair　sort　of
human　being　together。　　The　only　drawback　to　the　theory　is　that　unmarried
people　seem　each　as　complete　and　whole　as　a　married　pair。〃

She　refused　to　be　amused；　she　turned　her　face　to　the　window　and　put　her
handkerchief　up　under　her　veil。

It　was　not　till　the　dining…car　was　attached　to　their　train　that　they　were
both　able　to　escape　for　an　hour　into　the　care…free　mood　of　their　earlier
travels；　when　they　were　so　easily　taken　out　of　themselves。　　The　time　had
been　when　they　could　have　found　enough　in　the　conjectural　fortunes　and
characters　of　their　fellow…passengers　to　occupy　them。　　This　phase　of
their　youth　had　lasted　long；　and　the　world　was　still　full　of　novelty　and
interest　for　them；　but　it　required　all　the　charm　of　the　dining…car　now　to
lay　the　anxieties　that　beset　them。　　It　was　so　potent　for　the　moment；
however；　that　they　could　take　an　objective　view　at　their　sitting　cozily
down　there　together；　as　if　they　had　only　themselves　in　the　world。　　They
wondered　what　the　children　were　doing；　the　children　who　possessed　them　so
intensely　when　present；　and　now；　by　a　fantastic　operation　of　absence；
seemed　almost　non…existents。　　They　tried　to　be　homesick　for　them；　but
failed；　they　recognized　with　comfortable　self…abhorrence　that　this　was
terrible；　but　owned　a　fascination　in　being　alone；　at　the　same　time；　they
could　not　imagine　how　people　felt　who　never　had　any　children。　　They
contrasted　the　luxury　of　dining　that　way；　with　every　advantage　except　a
band　of　music；　and　the　old　way　of　rushing　out　to　snatch　a　fearful　joy　at
the　lunch…counters　of　the　Worcesier　and　Springfield　and　New　Haven
stations。　　They　had　not　gone　often　to　New　York　since　their　wedding
journey；　but　they　had　gone　often　enough　to　have　noted　the　change　from　the
lunch…counter　to　the　lunch…basket　brought　in　the　train；　from　which　you
could　subsist　with　more　ease　and　dignity；　but　seemed　destined　to　a
superabundance　of　pickles；　whatever　you　ordered。

They　thought　well　of　themselves　now　that　they　could　be　both　critical　and
tolerant　of　flavors　not　very　sharply　distinguished　from　one　another　in
their　dinner；　and　they　lingered　over　their　coffee　and　watched　the　autumn
landscape　through　the　windows。

〃Not　quite　so　loud　a　pattern　of　calico　this　year；〃　he　said；　with
patronizing　forbearance　toward　the　painted　woodlands　whirling　by。
〃Do　you　see　how　the　foreground　next　the　train　rushes　from　us　and　the
background　keeps　ahead　of　us；　while　the　middle　distance　seems　stationary？
I　don't　think　I　ever　noticed　that　effect　before。　　There　ought　to　be
something　literary　in　it：　retreating　past　and　advancing　future　and
deceitfully　permanent　presentsomething　like　that？〃

His　wife　brushed　some　crumbs　from　her　lap　before　rising。　　〃Yes。　　You
mustn't　waste　any　of　these　ideas　now。〃

〃Oh　no；　it　would　be　money　out　of　Fulkerson's　pocket。〃




VII。

They　went　to　a　quiet　hotel　far　down…town；　and　took　a　small　apartment
which　they　thought　they　could　easily　afford　for　the　day　or　two　they　need
spend　in　looking　up　a　furnished　flat。　　They　were　used　to　staying　at　this
hotel　when　they　came　on　for　a　little　outing　in　New　York；　after　some　rigid
winter　in　Boston；　at　the　time　of　the　spring　exhibitions。　　They　were
remembered　there　from　year　to　year；　the　colored　call…boys；　who　never
seemed　to　get　any　older；　smiled　upon　them；　and　the　clerk　called　March　by
name　even　before　he　registered。　　He　asked　if　Mrs。　March　were　with　him；
and　said　then　he　supposed　they　would　want　their　usual　quarters；　and　in　a
moment　they　were　domesticated　in　a　far　interior　that　seemed　to　have　been
waiting　for　them　in　a　clean；　quiet；　patient　disoccupation　ever　since　they
left　it　two　years　before。　　The　little　parlor；　with　its　gilt　paper　and
ebonized　furniture；　was　the　lightest　of　the　rooms；　but　it　was　not　very
light　at　noonday　without　the　gas；　which　the　bell…boy　now　flared　up　for
them。　　The　uproar　of　the　city　came　to　it　in　a　soothing　murmur；　and　they
took　possession　of　its　peace　and　comfort　with　open　celebration。　　After
all；　they　agreed；　there　was　no　place　in　the　world　so　delightful　as　a
hotel　apartment　like　that；　the　boasted　charms　of　home　were　nothing　to　it；
and　then　the　magic　of　its　being　always　there；　ready　for　any　one；　every
one；　just　as　if　it　were　for　some　one　alone：　it　was　like　the　experience　of
an　Arabian　Nights　hero　come　true　for　all　the　race。

〃Oh；　why　can't　we　always　stay　here；　just　we　two！〃　Mrs。　March　sighed　to
her　husband；　as　he　came　out　of　his　room　rubbing　his　face　red　with　the
towel；　while　she　studied　a　new　arrangement　of　her　bonnet　and　handbag　on
the　mantel。

〃And　ignore　the　past？　　I'm　willing。　　I've　no　doubt　that　the　children
could　get　on　perfectly　well　without　us；　and　could　find　some　lot　in　the
scheme　of　Providence　that　would　really　be　just　as　well　for　them。〃

〃Yes；　or　could　contrive　somehow　never　to　have　existed。　　I　should　insist
upon　that。　　If　they　are；　don't　you　see　that　we　couldn't　wish　them　not　to
be？〃

〃Oh　yes；　I　see　your　point；　it's　simply　incontro