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lecture09-第4部分
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was finally released; and found my way to my brother's house;
where every care was given me。 While lying in bed the
admonishing Spirit never left me; and when I arose the following
Sabbath morning I felt that day would decide my fate; and toward
evening it came into my head to go to Jerry M'Auley's Mission。 I
went。 The house was packed; and with great difficulty I made my
way to the space near the platform。 There I saw the apostle to
the drunkard and the outcastthat man of God; Jerry M'Auley。 He
rose; and amid deep silence told his experience。 There was a
sincerity about this man that carried conviction with it; and I
found myself saying; 'I wonder if God can save me?' I listened
to the testimony of twenty…five or thirty persons; every one of
whom had been saved from rum; and I made up my mind that I would
be saved or die right there。 When the invitation was given; I
knelt down with a crowd of drunkards。 Jerry made the first
prayer。 Then Mrs。 M'Auley prayed fervently for us。 Oh; what a
conflict was going on for my poor soul! A blessed whisper said;
'Come'; the devil said; 'Be careful。' I halted but a moment; and
then; with a breaking heart; I said; 'Dear Jesus; can you help
me?' Never with mortal tongue can I describe that moment。
Although up to that moment my soul had been filled with
indescribable gloom; I felt the glorious brightness of the
noonday sun shine into my heart。 I felt I was a free man。 Oh;
the precious feeling of safety; of freedom; of resting on Jesus!
I felt that Christ with all his brightness and power had come
into my life; that; indeed; old things had passed away and all
things had become new。
〃From that moment till now I have never wanted a drink of
whiskey; and I have never seen money enough to make me take one。
I promised God that night that if he would take away the appetite
for strong drink; I would work for him all my life。 He has done
his part; and I have been trying to do mine。〃'104'
'104' I have abridged Mr。 Hadley's account。 For other
conversions of drunkards; see his pamphlet; Rescue Mission Work;
published at the Old Jerry M'Auley Water Street Mission; New York
City。 A striking collection of cases also appears in the
appendix to Professor Leuba's article。
Dr。 Leuba rightly remarks that there is little doctrinal
theology in such an experience; which starts with the absolute
need of a higher helper; and ends with the sense that he has
helped us。 He gives other cases of drunkards' conversions which
are purely ethical; containing; as recorded; no theological
beliefs whatever。 John B。 Gough's case; for instance; is
practically; says Dr。 Leuba; the conversion of an
atheistneither God nor Jesus being mentioned。'105' But in spite
of the importance of this type of regeneration; with little or no
intellectual readjustment; this writer surely makes it too
exclusive。 It corresponds to the subjectively centered form of
morbid melancholy; of which Bunyan and Alline were examples。 But
we saw in our seventh lecture that there are objective forms of
melancholy also; in which the lack of rational meaning of the
universe; and of life anyhow; is the burden that weighs upon
oneyou remember Tolstoy's case。'106' So there are distinct
elements in conversion; and their relations to individual lives
deserve to be discriminated。'107'
'105' A restaurant waiter served provisionally as Gough's
'Saviour。' General Booth; the founder of the Salvation Army;
considers that the first vital step in saving outcasts consists
in making them feel that some decent human being cares enough for
them to take an interest in the question whether they are to rise
or sink。
'106' The crisis of apathetic melancholyno use in lifeinto
which J。 S。 Mill records that he fell; from which he emerged by
the reading of Marmontel's Memoirs (Heaven save the mark!) and
Wordsworth's poetry; is another intellectual and general
metaphysical case。 See Mill's Autobiography; New York; 1873; pp。
141; 148。
'107' Starbuck; in addition to 〃escape from sin;〃 discriminates
〃spiritual illumination〃 as a distinct type of conversion
experience。 Psychology of Religion; p。 85。
Some persons; for instance; never are; and possibly never under
any circumstances could be; converted。 Religious ideas cannot
become the centre of their spiritual energy。 They may be
excellent persons; servants of God in practical ways; but they
are not children of his kingdom。 They are either incapable of
imagining the invisible; or else; in the language of devotion;
they are life…long subjects of 〃barrenness〃 and 〃dryness。〃
Such inaptitude for religious faith may in some cases be
intellectual in its origin。 Their religious faculties may be
checked in their natural tendency to expand; by beliefs about the
world that are inhibitive; the pessimistic and materialistic
beliefs; for example; within which so many good souls; who in
former times would have freely indulged their religious
propensities; find themselves nowadays; as it were; frozen; or
the agnostic vetoes upon faith as something weak and shameful;
under which so many of us today lie cowering; afraid to use our
instincts。 In many persons such inhibitions are never overcome。
To the end of their days they refuse to believe; their personal
energy never gets to its religious centre; and the latter remains
inactive in perpetuity。
In other persons the trouble is profounder。 There are men
anaesthetic on the religious side; deficient in that category of
sensibility。 Just as a bloodless organism can never; in spite of
all its goodwill; attain to the reckless 〃animal spirits〃 enjoyed
by those of sanguine temperament; so the nature which is
spiritually barren may admire and envy faith in others; but can
never compass the enthusiasm and peace which those who are
temperamentally qualified for faith enjoy。 All this may;
however; turn out eventually to have been a matter of temporary
inhibition。 Even late in life some thaw; some release may take
place; some bolt be shot back in the barrenest breast; and the
man's hard heart may soften and break into religious feeling。
Such cases more than any others suggest the idea that sudden
conversion is by miracle。 So long as they exist; we must not
imagine ourselves to deal with irretrievably fixed classes。
Now there are two forms of mental occurrence in human beings;
which lead to a striking difference in the conversion process; a
difference to which Professor Starbuck has called attention。 You
know how it is when you try to recollect a forgotten name。
Usually you help the recall by working for it; by mentally
running over the places; persons; and things with which the word
was connected。 But sometimes this effort fails: you feel then
as if the harder you tried the less hope there would be; as
though the name were JAMMED; and pressure in its direction only
kept it all the more from rising。 And then the opposite expedient
often succeeds。 Give up the effort entirely; think of something
altogether different; and in half an hour the lost name comes
sauntering into your mind; as Emerson says; as carelessly as if
it had never been invited。 Some hidden process was started in
you by the effort; which went on after the effort ceased; and
made the result come as if it came spontaneously。 A certain
music teacher; says Dr。 Starbuck; says to her pupils after the
thing to be done has been clearly pointed out; and unsuccessfully
attempted: 〃Stop trying and it will do itself!〃'108'
'108' Psychology of Religion; p。 117。
There is thus a conscious and voluntary way and an involuntary
and unconscious way in which mental results may get accomplished;
and we find both ways exemplified in the history of conversion;
giving us two types; which Starbuck calls the volitional type and
the type by self…surrender respectively。
In the volitional type the regenerative change is usually
gradual; and consists in the building up; piece by piece; of a
new set of moral and spiritual habits。 But there are always
critical points here at which the movement forward seems much
more rapid。 This psychological fact is abundantly illustrated by
Dr。 Starbuck。 Our education in any practical accomplishment
proceeds apparently by jerks and starts just as the growth of our
physical bodies does。
〃An athlete 。 。 。 sometimes awakens suddenly to an understanding
of the fine points of the game and to a real enjoyment of it;
just as the convert awakens to an appreciation of religion。 If he
keeps on engaging in the sport; there may come a day when all at
once the game plays itself through himwhen he loses himself in
some great contest。 In the same way; a musician may suddenly
reach a point at which pleasure in the technique of the art
entirely falls away; and in some moment of inspiration he becomes
the instrument through which music flows。 The writer has chanced
to hear two different married persons; both of whose wedded lives
had been beautiful from the beginning; relate that not until a
year or more after marriage did they awake to the full
blessedness of married life。 So it is with the religious
experience of these persons we are studying。〃
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