dream days-第7部分

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from　the　room　and　escaped　into　the　open　air；　eager　to　pick　up　the

loose　end　of　my　new　friendship　just　where　I　had　dropped　it　that

morning。　　In　the　glorious　reaction　of　the　sunshine　after　the

downpour；　with　its　moist　warm　smells；　bespanglement　of　greenery；

and　inspiriting　touch　of　rain…washed　air；　the　parks　and　palaces

of　the　imagination　glowed　with　a　livelier　iris；　and　their　blurred

beauties　shone　out　again　with　fresh　blush　and　palpitation。　　As　I

sped　along　to　the　tryst；　again　I　accompanied　my　new　comrade　along

the　corridors　of　my　pet　palace　into　which　I　had　so　hastily

introduced　her；　and　on　reflection　I　began　to　see　that　it　wouldn't

work　properly。　　I　had　made　a　mistake；　and　those　were　not　the

surroundings　in　which　she　was　most　fitted　to　shine。　　However；　it

really　did　not　matter　much；　I　had　other　palaces　to　place　at　her

disposalplenty　of　'em；　and　on　a　further　acquaintance　with　and

knowledge　of　her　tastes；　no　doubt　I　could　find　something　to　suit

her。



There　was　a　real　Arabian　one；　for　instance；　which　I　visited　but

rarelyonly　just　when　I　was　in　the　fine　Oriental　mood　for　it；　a

wonder　of　silk　hangings；　fountains　of　rosewater；　pavilions；　and

minarets。　　Hundreds　of　silent；　well…trained　slaves　thronged　the

stairs　and　alleys　of　this　establishment；　ready　to　fetch　and　carry

for　her　all　day；　if　she　wished　it；　and　my　brave　soldiers　would　be

spared　the　indignity。　　Also　there　were　processions　through　the

bazaar　at　odd　momentsprocessions　with　camels；　elephants；　and

palanquins。　　Yes；　she　was　more　suited　for　the　East；　this

imperious　young　person；　and　I　determined　that　thither　she　should

be　personally　conducted　as　soon　as　ever　might　be。



I　reached　the　fence　and　climbed　up　two　bars　of　it；　and　leaning

over　I　looked　this　way　and　that　for　my　twin…souled　partner　of　the

morning。　　It　was　not　long　before　I　caught　sight　of　her；　only　a

short　distance　away。　　Her　back　was　towards　me　andwell；　one　can

never　foresee　exactly　how　one　will　find　thingsshe　was　talking

to　a　Boy。



Of　course　there　are　boys　and　boys；　and　Lord　knows　I　was　never

narrow。　　But　this　was　the　parson's　son　from　an　adjoining　village；

a　red…headed　boy　and　as　common　a　little　beast　as　ever　stepped。　

He　cultivated　ferretshis　only　good　point；　and　it　was　evidently

through　the　medium　of　this　art　that　he　was　basely　supplanting　me；

for　her　head　was　bent　absorbedly　over　something　he　carried　in　his

hands。　　With　some　trepidation　I　called　out；　〃Hi！〃　　But　answer

there　was　none。　　Then　again　I　called；　〃Hi！〃　but　this　time　with　a

sickening　sense　of　failure　and　of　doom。　　She　replied　only　by　a

complex　gesture；　decisive　in　import　if　not　easily　described。　　A

petulant　toss　of　the　head；　a　jerk　of　the　left　shoulder；　and　a

backward　kick　of　the　left　foot；　all　delivered　at　oncethat　was

all；　and　that　was　enough。　　The　red…headed　boy　never　even

condescended　to　glance　my　way。　　Why；　indeed；　should　he？　　I

dropped　from　the　fence　without　another　effort；　and　took　my　way

homewards　along　the　weary　road。



Little　inclination　was　left　to　me；　at　first；　for　any　solitary

visit　to　my　accustomed　palace；　the　pleasures　of　which　I　had　so

recently　tasted　in　company；　and　yet　after　a　minute　or　two　I　found

myself；　from　habit；　sneaking　off　there　much　as　usual。　　Presently

I　became　aware　of　a　certain　solace　and　consolation　in　my

newly…recovered　independence　of　action。　　Quit　of　all　female　whims

and　fanciful　restrictions；　I　rowed；　sailed；　or　punted；　just　as　I

pleased；　in　the　Chocolate…room　I　cracked　and　nibbled　the　hard

sticks；　with　a　certain　contempt　for　those　who　preferred　the　soft；

veneered　article；　and　I　mixed　and　quaffed　countless　fizzy　drinks

without　dread　of　any　prohibitionist。　　Finally；　I　swaggered　into

the　park；　paraded　all　my　soldiers　on　the　terrace；　and；　bidding

them　take　the　time　from　me；　gave　the　order　to　fire　off　all　the

guns。







THE　MAGIC　RING



Grown…up　people　really　ought　to　be　more　careful。　　Among

themselves　it　may　seem　but　a　small　thing　to　give　their　word　and

take　back　their　word。　　For　them　there　are　so　many　compensations。　

Life　lies　at　their　feet；　a　party…coloured　india…rubber　ball；　they

may　kick　it　this　way　or　kick　it　that；　it　turns　up　blue；　yellow；

or　green；　but　always　coloured　and　glistening。　　Thus　one　sees　it

happen　almost　every　day；　and；　with　a　jest　and　a　laugh；　the　thing

is　over；　and　the　disappointed　one　turns　to　fresh　pleasure；　lying

ready　to　his　hand。　　But　with　those　who　are　below　them；　whose

little　globe　is　swayed　by　them；　who　rush　to　build　star…pointing

alhambras　on　their　most　casual　word；　they　really　ought　to　be　more

careful。



In　this　case　of　the　circus；　for　instance；　it　was　not　as　if　we　had

led　up　to　the　subject。　　It　was　they　who　began　it　entirely

prompted　thereto　by　the　local　newspaper。　　〃What；　a　circus！〃　said

they；　in　their　irritating；　casual　way：　〃that　would　be　nice　to

take　the　children　to。　　Wednesday　would　be　a　good　day。　　Suppose　we

go　on　Wednesday。　　Oh；　and　pleats　are　being　worn　again；　with　rows

of　deep　braid；〃　etc。



What　the　others　thought　I　know　not；　what　they　said；　if　they　said

anything；　I　did　not　comprehend。　　For　me　the　house　was　bursting；

walls　seemed　to　cramp　and　to　stifle；　the　roof　was　jumping　and

lifting。　　Escape　was　the　imperative　thingto　escape　into　the

open　air；　to　shake　off　bricks　and　mortar；　and　to　wander　in　the

unfrequented　places　of　the　earth；　the　more　properly　to　take　in

the　passion　and　the　promise　of　the　giddy　situation。



Nature　seemed　prim　and　staid　that　day　and　the　globe　gave　no

hint　that　it　was　flying　round　a　circus　ring　of　its　own。　　Could

they　really　be　true；　I　wondered；　all　those　bewildering　things　I

had　heard　tell　of　circuses？　　Did　long…tailed　ponies　really　walk

on　their　hind…legs　and　fire　off　pistols？　　Was　it　humanly　possible

for　clowns　to　perform　one…half　of　the　bewitching　drolleries

recorded　in　history？　　And　how；　oh；　how　dare　I　venture　to　believe

that；　from　off　the　backs　of　creamy　Arab　steeds；　ladies　of　more

than　earthly　beauty　discharged　themselves　through　paper　hoops？　

No；　it　was　not　altogether　possible；　there　must　have　been　some

exaggeration。　　Still；　I　would　be　content　with　very　little；　I

would　take　a　low　percentagea　very　small　proportion　of　the

circus　myth　would　more　than　satisfy　me。　　But　again；　even

supposing　that　history　were；　once　in　a　way；　no　liar；　could　it　be

that　I　myself　was　really　fated　to　look　upon　this　thing　in　the

flesh　and　to　live　through　it；　to　survive　the　rapture？　　No；　it　was

altogether　too　much。　　Something　was　bound　to　happen；　one　of　us

would　develop　measles；　the　world　would　blow　up　with　a　loud

explosion。　　I　must　not　dare；　I　must　not　presume；　to　entertain　the

smallest　hope。　　I　must　endeavour　sternly　to　think　of　something

else。



Needless　to　say；　I　thought；　I　dreamed　of　nothing　else；　day　or

night。　　Waking；　I　walked　arm…in…arm　with　a　clown；　and　cracked　a

portentous　whip　to　the　brave　music　of　a　band。　　Sleeping；　I

pursuedperched　astride　of　a　coal…black　horsea　princess　all

gauze　and　spangles；　who　always　managed　to　keep　just　one

unattainable　length　ahead。　　In　the　early　morning　Harold　and　I；

once　fully　awake；　cross…examined　each　other　as　to　the

possibilities　of　this　or　that　circus　tradition；　and　exhausted　the

lore　long　ere　the　first　housemaid　was　stirring。　　In　this

state　of　exaltation　we　slipped　onward　to　what　promised　to　be　a

day　of　all　white　dayswhich　brings　me　right　back　to　my　text；

that　grown…up　people　really　ought　to　be　more　careful。



I　had　known　it　could　never　really　be；　I　had　said　so　to　myself　a

dozen　times。　　The　vision　was　too　sweetly　ethereal　for　embodiment。



Yet　the　pang　of　the　disillusionment　was　none　the　less　keen　and

sickening；　and　the　pain　was　as　that　of　a　corporeal　wound。　　It

seemed　strange　and　foreboding；　when　we　entered　the　breakfast…

room；　not　to　find　everybody　cracking　whips；　jumping　over　chairs；

and　whooping。　　In　ecstatic　rehearsal　of　the　wild　reality　to　come。



The　situation　became　grim　and　pallid　indeed；　when　I　caught　the

expressions　〃garden…party〃　and　〃my　mauve　tulle；〃　and　realized

that　they　both　referred　to　that　very　afternoon。　　And　every

minute；　as　I　sat　silent　and　listened；　my　heart　sank　lower　and

lower；　descending　relentlessly　like　a　clock…weight　into　my　boot

soles。



Throughout　my　agony　I　never　dreamed　of　resorting　to　a　direct

question；　much　less　a　reproach。　　Even　during　the　period　of　joyful

anticipation　some　fear　of　breaking　the　spell　had　kept　me　from　any

bald　circus　talk　in　the　presence　of　them。　　But　Harold；　who　was

built　in　quite　another　way；　so　soon　as　he　discerned　the　drift　of

their　conversation　and　heard　the　knell　of　all　his　hopes；　filled

the　room　with　wail　and　clamour　of　bereavement。　　The　grinning

welkin　rang　with　〃Circus！〃　　〃Circus！〃　shook　the　window…panes；　the

mocking　walls　re…echoed　〃Circus！〃　　Circus　he　would　have；　and　the

whole　circus；　and　nothing　but　the　circus。　　No　compromise　for　him；

no　evasions；　no　fallacious；　unsecured　promises　to　pay。　　He

had　drawn　his　cheque　on　the　Bank　of　Expectation；　and　it　had

got　to　be　cashed　then　and　there；　else　he　would　yell；　and　yell

himself　into　a　fit；　and　come　out　of　it　and　yell　again。　　Yelling

should　be　his　profession；　his　art；　his　mission；　his　career。　　He

was　qualified；　he　was　resolute；　and　he　was　in　no　hurry　to　retire

from　the　business。



The　noisy　ones　of　the　world；　if　they　do　not　always　shout

themselves　into　the　imperial　purple；　are　sure　at　least　of

receiving　attention。　　If　they　cannot　sell　everything　at　their　own

price；　one　thingsilencemust；　at　any　cost；　be　purchased　of

them。　　Harold　accordingly　had　to　be　consoled　by　the　employment　of

every　specious　fallacy　and　base…born　trick　known　to　those　whose

doom　it　is　to　handle　children。　　For　me　their　hollow　cajolery　had

no　interest；　I　could　pluck　no　consolation　out　of　their　bankrupt

though　prodigal　pledges　I　only　waited　till　that　hateful；

well…known　〃Some　other　time；　dear！〃　told　me　that　hope　was　finally

dead。　　Then　I　left　the　room　without　any　remar