the garotters-第4部分

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What　is　the　lie？'

WILLIS：　　'Ah；　now　you're　talking　like　a　man！　　I　can　soon　think　up　a
lie　if　you're　game　for　it。　　Suppose　it　wasn't　so　very　whitesay　a
delicate　blonde！'

ROBERTS：　　'I　shouldn't　care　if　it　were　as　black　as　the　ace　of
spades。'

WILLIS：　　'Roberts；　I　honour　you！　　It　isn't　everybody　who　could　steal
an　old　gentleman's　watch；　and　then　be　so　ready　to　lie　out　of　it。
Well；　you　HAVE　got　courageboth　kindsmoral　and　physical。'

ROBERTS：　　'Thank　you；　Willis。　　Of　course　I　don't　pretend　that　I
should　be　willing　to　lie　under　ordinary　circumstances；　but　for　the
sake　of　Agnes　and　the　childrenI　don't　want　any　awkwardness　about
the　matter；　it　would　be　the　death　of　me。　　Well；　what　do　you　wish　me
to　say？　　Be　quick；　I　don't　believe　I　could　hold　out　for　a　great
while。　　I　don't　suppose　but　what　Mr。　Bemis　would　be　reasonable；　even
if　I'

WILLIS：　　'I'm　afraid　we　couldn't　trust　him。　　The　only　way　is　for　you
to　take　the　bull　by　the　horns。'

ROBERTS：　　'Yes？'

WILLIS：　　'You　will　not　only　have　to　lie；　Roberts；　but　you　will　have
to　wear　an　air　of　innocent　candour　at　the　same　time。'

ROBERTS：　　'II'm　afraid　I　couldn't　manage　that。　　What　is　your
idea？'

WILLIS：　　'Oh；　just　come　into　the　room　with　a　laugh　when　we　go　back；
and　say；　in　an　offhand　way；　〃By　the　way；　Agnes；　Willis　and　I　made　a
remarkable　discovery　in　my　dressing…room；　we　found　my　watch　there　on
the　bureau。　　Ha；　ha；　ha！〃　　Do　you　think　you　could　do　it？'

ROBERTS：　　'II　don't　know。'

WILLIS：　　'Try　the　laugh　now。'

ROBERTS：　　'I'd　rather　notnow。'

WILLIS：　　'Well；　try　it；　anyway。'

ROBERTS：　　'Ha；　ha；　ha！'

WILLIS：　　'Once　more。'

ROBERTS：　　'Ha；　ha；　ha！'

WILLIS：　　'Pretty　ghastly；　but　I　guess　you　can　come　it。'

ROBERTS：　　'I'll　try。　　And　then　what？'

WILLIS：　　'And　then　you　say；　〃I　hadn't　put　it　on　when　I　went　out；　and
when　I　got　after　that　fellow　and　took　it　back；　I　was　simply　getting
somebody　else's　watch！〃　　Then　you　hold　out　both　watches　to　her；　and
laugh　again。　　Everybody　laughs；　and　crowds　round　you　to　examine　the
watches；　and　you　make　fun　and　crack　jokes　at　your　own　expense　all
the　time；　and　pretty　soon　old　Bemis　says；　〃Why；　this　is　MY　watch；
NOW！〃　and　you　laugh　more　than　ever'

ROBERTS：　　'I'm　afraid　I　couldn't　laugh　when　he　said　that。　　I　don't
believe　I　could　laugh。　　It　would　make　my　blood　run　cold。'

WILLIS：　　'Oh　no；　it　wouldn't。　　You'd　be　in　the　spirit　of　it　by　that
time。'

ROBERTS：　　'Do　you　think　so？　　Well？'

WILLIS：　　'And　then　you　say；　〃Well；　this　is　the　most　remarkable
coincidence　I　ever　heard　of。　　I　didn't　get　my　own　watch　from　the
fellow；　but　I　got　yours；　Mr。　Bemis；〃　and　then　you　hand　it　over　to
him　and　say；　〃Sorry　I　had　to　break　the　chain　in　getting　it　from
him；〃　and　then　everybody　laughs　again；　andand　that　ends　it。'

ROBERTS；　with　a　profound　sigh：　　'Do　you　think　that　would　end　it？'

WILLIS：　　'Why；　certainly。　　It'll　put　old　Bemis　in　the　wrong；　don't
you　see？　　It'll　show　that　instead　of　letting　the　fellow　escape　to　go
and　rob　HIM；　you　attacked　him　and　took　Bemis's　property　back　from
him　yourself。　　Bemis　wouldn't　have　a　word　to　say。　　All　you've　got　to
do　is　to　keep　up　a　light；　confident　manner。'

ROBERTS：　　'But　what　if　it　shouldn't　put　Bemis　in　the　wrong？　　What　if
he　shouldn't　say　or　do　anything　that　we've　counted　upon；　but
something　altogether　different？'

WILLIS：　　'Well；　then；　you　must　trust　to　inspiration；　and　adapt
yourself　to　circumstances。'

ROBERTS：　　'Wouldn't　it　be　rather　more　of　a　joke　to　come　out　with　the
facts　at　once？'

WILLIS：　　'On　you　it　would；　and　a　year　from　nowsay　next　Christmas
you　could　get　the　laugh　on　Bemis　that　way。　　But　if　you　were　to　risk
it　now；　there's　no　telling　how　he'd　take　it。　　He's　so　indignant　he
might　insist　upon　leaving　the　house。　　But　with　this　plan　of　mine'

ROBERTS；　in　despair：　　'I　couldn't；　Willis。　　I　don't　feel　light；　and
I　don't　feel　confident；　and　I　couldn't　act　it。　　If　it　were　a　simple
lie'

WILLIS：　　'Oh；　lies　are　never　simple；　they　require　the　exercise　of
all　your　ingenuity。　　If　you　want　something　simple；　you　must　stick　to
the　truth；　and　throw　yourself　on　Bemis's　mercy。'

ROBERTS；　walking　up　and　down　in　great　distress：　　'I　can't　do　it；　I
can't　do　it。　　It's　very　kind　of　you　to　think　it　all　out　for　me；
but'struck　by　a　sudden　idea'Willis；　why　shouldn't　YOU　do　it？'

WILLIS：　　'I？'

ROBERTS：　　'You　are　good　at　those　things。　　You　have　so　much　aplomb；
you　know。　　YOU　could　carry　it　off；　you　know；　first…rate。'

WILLIS；　as　if　finding　a　certain　fascination　in　the　idea：　　'Well；　I
don't　know'

ROBERTS：　　'And　I　could　chime　in　on　the　laugh。　　I　think　I　could　do
that　if　somebody　else　was　doing　the　rest。'

WILLIS；　after　a　moment　of　silent　reflection：　　'I　SHOULD　like　to　do
it。　　I　should　like　to　see　how　old　Bemis　would　look　when　I　played　it
on　him。　　Roberts；　I　WILL　do　it。　　Not　a　word！　　I　should　LIKE　to　do
it。　　Now　you　go　on　and　hurry　up　your　toilet；　old　fellow；　you　needn't
mind　me　here。　　I'll　be　rehearsing。'

MRS。　ROBERTS；　knocking　at　the　door；　outside：　　'Edward；　are　you　NEVER
coming？'

ROBERTS：　　'Yes；　yes；　I'll　be　there　in　a　minute；　my　dear。'

WILLIS：　　'Yes；　he'll　be　there。　　Run　along　back；　and　keep　it　going
till　we　come。　　Roberts；　I　wouldn't　take　a　thousand　dollars　for　this
chance。'

ROBERTS：　　'I'm　glad　you　like　it。'

WILLIS：　　'Like　it？　　Of　course　I　do。　　Or　no！　　Hold　on！　　Wait！　　It
won't　do！　　No；　you　must　take　the　leading　part；　and　I'll　support　you；
and　I'll　come　in　strong　if　you　break　down。　　That's　the　way　we　have
got　to　work　it。　　You　must　make　the　start。'

ROBERTS：　　'Couldn't　you　make　it　better；　Willis？　　It's　your　idea。'

WILLIS：　　'No；　they'd　be　sure　to　suspect　me；　and　they　can't　suspect
you　of　anythingyou're　so　innocent。　　The　illusion　will　be
complete。'

ROBERTS；　very　doubtfully：　　'Do　you　think　so？'

WILLIS：　　'Yes。　　Hurry　up。　　Let　me　unbutton　that　collar　for　you。'




PART　THIRD




SCENE　I：　　MRS。　ROBERTS；　DR。　LAWTON；　MRS。　CRASHAW；　MR。　BEMIS；　YOUNG
MR。　AND　MRS。　BEMIS



MRS。　ROBERTS；　surrounded　by　her　guests；　and　confronting　from　her
sofa　Mr。　Bemis；　who　still　remains　sunken　in　his　armchair；　has
apparently　closed　an　exhaustive　recital　of　the　events　which　have
ended　in　his　presence　there。　　She　looks　round　with　a　mixed　air　of
self…denial　and　self…satisfaction　to　read　the　admiration　of　her
listeners　in　their　sympathetic　countenances。

DR。　LAWTON；　with　an　ironical　sigh　of　profound　impression：　　'Well；
Mrs。　Roberts；　you　are　certainly　the　most　lavishly　hospitable　of
hostesses。　　Every　one　knows　what　delightful　dinners　you　give；　but
these　little　dramatic　episodes　which　you　offer　your　guests；　by　way
of　appetizer；　are　certainly　unique。　　Last　year　an　elevator　stuck　in
the　shaft　with　half　the　company　in　it；　and　this　year　a　highway
robbery；　its　daring　punishment　and　its　reckless　repetitionwhat　the
newspapers　will　call　〃A　Triple　Mystery〃　when　it　gets　to　themand
both　victims　among　our　commensals！　　Really；　I　don't　know　what　more
we　could　ask　of　you；　unless　it　were　the　foot…padded　footpad　himself
as　a　commensal。　　If　this　sort　of　thing　should　become　de　rigueur　in
society　generally；　I　don't　know　what's　to　become　of　people　who
haven't　your　invention。'

MRS。　ROBERTS：　　'Oh；　it's　all　very　well　to　make　fun　now；　Dr。　Lawton；
but　if　you　had　been　here　when　they　first　came　in'

YOUNG　MRS。　BEMIS：　　'Yes；　indeed；　I　think　so　too；　Mrs。　Roberts。　　If
Mr。　BemisAlfred；　I　meanand　papa　hadn't　been　with　me　when　you
came　out　there　to　prepare　us；　I　don't　know　what　I　should　have　done。
I　should　certainly　have　died；　or　gone　through　the　floor。'　　She　looks
fondly　up　into　the　face　of　her　husband　for　approval；　where　he　stands
behind　her　chair；　and　furtively　gives　him　her　hand　for　pressure。'

YOUNG　MR。　BEMIS：　　'Somebody　ought　to　write　to　the　CurwensMrs。
Curwen；　that　isabout　it。'

MRS。　BEMIS；　taking　away　her　hand：　　'Oh　yes；　papa；　DO　write！'

LAWTON：　　'I　will；　my　dear。　　Even　Mrs。　Curwen；　dazzling　away　in
another　spherehemisphereand　surrounded　by　cardinals　and　all　the
other　celestial　lights　there　at　Rome；　will　be　proud　to　exploit　this
new　evidence　of　American　enterprise。　　I　can　fancy　the　effect　she
will　produce　with　it。'

MRS。　ROBERTS：　　'And　the　Millerswhat　a　shame　they　couldn't　come！
How　excited　they　would　have　been！that　is；　Mrs。　Miller。　　Is　their
baby　very　bad；　Doctor？'

LAWTON：　　'Well；　vaccination　is　always　a　very　serious　thingwith　a
first　child。　　I　should　say；　from　the　way　Mrs。　Miller　feels　about　it；
that　Miller　wouldn't　be　able　to　be　out　for　a　week　to　come　yet。'

MRS。　ROBERTS：　　'Oh；　how　ridiculous　you　are；　Doctor！'

BEMIS；　rising　feebly　from　his　chair：　　'Well；　now　that　it's　all
explained；　Mrs。　Roberts；　I　think　I'd　better　go　home；　and　if　you'll
kindly　have　them　telephone　for　a　carriage'

MRS。　ROBERTS：　　'NO；　indeed；　Mr。　Bemis！　　We　shall　not　let　you　go。
Why；　the　IDEA！　　You　must　stay　and　take　dinner　with　us；　just　the
same。'

BEMIS：　　'But　in　this　state'

MRS。　ROBERTS：　　'Oh；　never　mind　the　STATE。　　You　look　perfectly　well；
and　if　you　insist　upon　going；　I　shall　know　that　you　bear　a　grudge
against　Edward　for　not　arresting　him。　　Wait！　　We　can　put　you　in
perfect　order　in　just　a　second。'　　She　flies　out　of　the　room；　and
then　comes　swooping　back　with　a　needle　and　thread；　a　fresh　white
necktie；　a　handkerchief；　and　a　hair…brush。　　'There！　　I　can't　let　you
go　to　Edward's　dressing…room；　because　he's　there　himself；　and　the
children　are　in　mine；　and　we've　had　to　put　the　new　maid　in　the
guest…chamberyou　ARE　rather　cramped　in　flats；　that's　true；　that's
the　worst　of　thembut　if　you　don't　mind　having　your　toilet　made　in
public；　like　the　King　of　France'

BEMIS；　entering　into　the　spirit　of　it：　　'Not　the　least；　but'　　He
laughs；　and　drops　back　into　his　chair。

MRS。　ROBERTS；　distributing　the　brush　to　young　Mr。　Bemis；　and　the　tie
to　his　wife；　and　dropping　upon　her　knees　before　Mr。　Bemis：　　'Now；
Mrs。　Lou；　you　just　whip　off　that　crumpled　tie　and　whip　on　the　fresh
one；　and；　MISTER　Lou；　you　give　his　hair　a　touch；　and　I'll　have　this
torn　button…hole　mended　before　you　can　think。'　　She　seizes　it　and
begins　to　sew　vigorously　upon　it。

MRS。　CRASHAW：　　'Agnes；　you　are　the　most　ridiculously　sensible　woman
in　the　country。'

LAWTON；　standing　before　the　group；　with　his　arms　folded　and　his　feet
well　apart；　in　an　attitude