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a confession-第6部分

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horizons but in a direction where there could be no home; and also

amid the darkness of the abstract sciences where I was immersed in

deeper gloom the further I went; and where I finally convinced

myself that there was; and could be; no exit。

     Yielding myself to the bright side of knowledge; I understood

that I was only diverting my gaze from the question。  However

alluringly clear those horizons which opened out before me might

be; however alluring it might be to immerse oneself in the

limitless expanse of those sciences; I already understood that the

clearer they were the less they met my need and the less they

applied to my question。

     〃I know;〃 said I to myself; 〃what science so persistently

tries to discover; and along that road there is no reply to the

question as to the meaning of my life。〃  In the abstract sphere I

understood that notwithstanding the fact; or just because of the

fact; that the direct aim of science is to reply to my question;

there is no reply but that which I have myself already given: 

〃What is the meaning of my life?〃  〃There is none。〃  Or:  〃What

will come of my life?〃 〃Nothing。〃  Or:  〃Why does everything exist

that exists; and why do I exist?〃  〃Because it exists。〃

     Inquiring for one region of human knowledge; I received an

innumerable quantity of exact replies concerning matters about

which I had not asked:  about the chemical constituents of the

stars; about the movement of the sun towards the constellation

Hercules; about the origin of species and of man; about the forms

of infinitely minute imponderable particles of ether; but in this

sphere of knowledge the only answer to my question; 〃What is the

meaning of my life?〃 was: 〃You are what you call your 'life'; you

are a transitory; casual cohesion of particles。  The mutual

interactions and changes of these particles produce in you what you

call your 〃life〃。  That cohesion will last some time; afterwards

the interaction of these particles will cease and what you call

〃life〃 will cease; and so will all your questions。  You are an

accidentally united little lump of something。  that little lump

ferments。  The little lump calls that fermenting its 'life'。  The

lump will disintegrate and there will be an end of the fermenting

and of all the questions。〃  So answers the clear side of science

and cannot answer otherwise if it strictly follows its principles。

     From such a reply one sees that the reply does not answer the

question。  I want to know the meaning of my life; but that it is a

fragment of the infinite; far from giving it a meaning destroys its

every possible meaning。  The obscure compromises which that side of

experimental exact science makes with abstract science when it says

that the meaning of life consists in development and in cooperation

with development; owing to their inexactness and obscurity cannot

be considered as replies。

     The other side of science  the abstract side  when it

holds strictly to its principles; replying directly to the

question; always replies; and in all ages has replied; in one and

the same way:  〃The world is something infinite and

incomprehensible part of that incomprehensible 'all'。〃  Again I

exclude all those compromises between abstract and experimental

sciences which supply the whole ballast of the semi…sciences called

juridical; political; and historical。 In those semi…sciences the

conception of development and progress is again wrongly introduced;

only with this difference; that there it was the development of

everything while here it is the development of the life of mankind。 

The error is there as before: development and progress in infinity

can have no aim or direction; and; as far as my question is

concerned; no answer is given。

     In truly abstract science; namely in genuine philosophy  not

in that which Schopenhauer calls 〃professorial philosophy〃 which

serves only to classify all existing phenomena in new philosophic

categories and to call them by new names  where the philosopher

does not lose sight of the essential question; the reply is always

one and the same  the reply given by Socrates; Schopenhauer;

Solomon; and buddha。

     〃We approach truth only inasmuch as we depart from life〃; said

Socrates when preparing for death。  〃For what do we; who love

truth; strive after in life?  To free ourselves from the body; and

from all the evil that is caused by the life of the body!  If so;

then how can we fail to be glad when death comes to us?

     〃The wise man seeks death all his life and therefore death is

not terrible to him。〃

     And Schopenhauer says:

     〃Having recognized the inmost essence of the world as *will*;

and all its phenomena  from the unconscious working of the

obscure forces of Nature up to the completely conscious action of

man  as only the objectivity of that will; we shall in no way

avoid the conclusion that together with the voluntary renunciation

and self…destruction of the will all those phenomena also

disappear; that constant striving and effort without aim or rest on

all the stages of objectivity in which and through which the world

exists; the diversity of successive forms will disappear; and

together with the form all the manifestations of will; with its

most universal forms; space and time; and finally its most

fundamental form  subject and object。  Without will there is no

concept and no world。  Before us; certainly; nothing remains。  But

what resists this transition into annihilation; our nature; is only

that same wish to live  *Wille zum Leben*  which forms

ourselves as well as our world。  That we are so afraid of

annihilation or; what is the same thing; that we so wish to live;

merely means that we are ourselves nothing else but this desire to

live; and know nothing but it。  And so what remains after the

complete annihilation of the will; for us who are so full of the

will; is; of course; nothing; but on the other hand; for those in

whom the will has turned and renounced itself; this so real world

of ours with all its suns and milky way is nothing。〃

     〃Vanity of vanities〃; says Solomon  〃vanity of vanities 

all is vanity。  What profit hath a man of all his labor which he

taketh under the sun?  One generation passeth away; and another

generation commeth: but the earth abideth for ever。。。。The thing

that hath been; is that which shall be; and that which is done is

that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun。 

Is there anything whereof it may be said; See; this is new? it hath

been already of old time; which was before us。  there is no

remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any

remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come

after。  I the Preacher was King over Israel in Jerusalem。  And I

gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all that

is done under heaven:  this sore travail hath God given to the sons

of man to be exercised therewith。  I have seen all the works that

are done under the sun; and behold; all is vanity and vexation of

spirit。。。。I communed with my own heart; saying; Lo; I am come to

great estate; and have gotten more wisdom than all they that have

been before me over Jerusalem: yea; my heart hath great experience

of wisdom and knowledge。  And I gave my heart to know wisdom; and

to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation

of spirit。  For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that

increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow。

     〃I said in my heart; Go to now; I will prove thee with mirth;

therefore enjoy pleasure: and behold this also is vanity。 I said of

laughter; It is mad:  and of mirth; What doeth it?  I sought in my

heart how to cheer my flesh with wine; and while my heart was

guided by wisdom; to lay hold on folly; till I might see what it

was good for the sons of men that they should do under heaven the

number of the days of their life。  I made me great works; I builded

me houses; I planted me vineyards; I made me gardens and orchards;

and I planted trees in them of all kinds of fruits: I made me pools

of water; to water therefrom the forest where trees were reared: I

got me servants and maidens; and had servants born in my house;

also I had great possessions of herds and flocks above all that

were before me in Jerusalem: I gathered me also silver and gold and

the peculiar treasure from kings and from the provinces: I got me

men singers and women singers; and the delights of the sons of men;

as musical instruments and all that of all sorts。  So I was great;

and increased more than all that were before me in Jerusalem: also

my wisdom remained with me。  And whatever mine eyes desired I kept

not from them。  I withheld not my heart from any joy。。。。Then I

looked on all the works that my hands had wrought; and on the

labour that I had laboured to do: and; behold; all was vanity and

vexation of spirit; and there was no profit from them under the

sun。  And I turned myself to behold wisdom; and madness; and

folly。。。。 But I perceived that one even happeneth to them all。 

Then said I in my heart; As it happeneth to the fool; so it

happeneth even to me; and why was I then more wise?  then I said in

my heart; that this also is vanity。  For there is no remembrance of

the wise more than of the fool for ever; seeing that which now is

in the days to come shall all be forgotten。  And how dieth the wise

man? as the fool。  Therefore I hated life; because the work that is

wrought under the sun is grievous unto me: for all is vanity and

vexation of spirit。  Yea; I hated all my labour which I had taken

under the sun: seeing that I must leave it unto the man that shall

be after me。。。。 For what hath  man of all his labour; and of the

vexation of his heart; wherein he hath laboured under the sun?  For

all his days are sorrows; and his travail grief; yea; even in the

night his heart taketh no rest。  this is also vanity。  Ma
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