louis lambert-第5部分

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days　of　our　boyish　affection。　So　it　was　time　alone　that　initiated　me
into　the　meaning　of　the　events　and　facts　that　were　crowded　into　that
obscure　life；　as　into　that　of　many　another　man　who　is　lost　to　science。
Indeed；　this　narrative；　so　far　as　the　expression　and　appreciation　of
many　things　is　concerned；　will　be　found　full　of　what　may　be　termed
moral　anachronisms；　which　perhaps　will　not　detract　from　its　peculiar
interest。

In　the　course　of　the　first　few　months　after　coming　to　Vendome；　Louis
became　the　victim　of　a　malady　which；　though　the　symptoms　were
invisible　to　the　eye　of　our　superiors；　considerably　interfered　with
the　exercise　of　his　remarkable　gifts。　Accustomed　to　live　in　the　open
air；　and　to　the　freedom　of　a　purely　haphazard　education；　happy　in　the
tender　care　of　an　old　man　who　was　devoted　to　him；　used　to　meditating
in　the　sunshine；　he　found　it　very　hard　to　submit　to　college　rules；　to
walk　in　the　ranks；　to　live　within　the　four　walls　of　a　room　where
eighty　boys　were　sitting　in　silence　on　wooden　forms　each　in　front　of
his　desk。　His　senses　were　developed　to　such　perfection　as　gave　them
the　most　sensitive　keenness；　and　every　part　of　him　suffered　from　this
life　in　common。

The　effluvia　that　vitiated　the　air；　mingled　with　the　odors　of　a
classroom　that　was　never　clean；　nor　free　from　the　fragments　of　our
breakfasts　or　snacks；　affected　his　sense　of　smell；　the　sense　which；
being　more　immediately　connected　than　the　others　with　the　nerve…
centers　of　the　brain；　must；　when　shocked；　cause　invisible　disturbance
to　the　organs　of　thought。

Besides　these　elements　of　impurity　in　the　atmosphere；　there　were
lockers　in　the　classrooms　in　which　the　boys　kept　their　miscellaneous
plunderpigeons　killed　for　fete　days；　or　tidbits　filched　from　the
dinner…table。　In　each　classroom；　too；　there　was　a　large　stone　slab；　on
which　two　pails　full　of　water　were　kept　standing；　a　sort　of　sink；
where　we　every　morning　washed　our　faces　and　hands；　one　after　another；
in　the　master's　presence。　We　then　passed　on　to　a　table；　where　women
combed　and　powdered　our　hair。　Thus　the　place；　being　cleaned　but　once　a
day　before　we　were　up；　was　always　more　or　less　dirty。　In　spite　of
numerous　windows　and　lofty　doors；　the　air　was　constantly　fouled　by　the
smells　from　the　washing…place；　the　hairdressing；　the　lockers；　and　the
thousand　messes　made　by　the　boys；　to　say　nothing　of　their　eighty
closely　packed　bodies。　And　this　sort　of　/humus/；　mingling　with　the　mud
we　brought　in　from　the　playing…yard；　produced　a　suffocatingly
pestilent　muck…heap。

The　loss　of　the　fresh　and　fragrant　country　air　in　which　he　had
hitherto　lived；　the　change　of　habits　and　strict　discipline；　combined
to　depress　Lambert。　With　his　elbow　on　his　desk　and　his　head　supported
on　his　left　hand；　he　spent　the　hours　of　study　gazing　at　the　trees　in
the　court　or　the　clouds　in　the　sky；　he　seemed　to　be　thinking　of　his
lessons；　but　the　master；　seeing　his　pen　motionless；　or　the　sheet
before　him　still　a　blank；　would　call　out：

〃Lambert；　you　are　doing　nothing！〃

This　〃/you　are　doing　nothing/！〃　was　a　pin…thrust　that　wounded　Louis　to
the　quick。　And　then　he　never　earned　the　rest　of　the　play…time；　he
always　had　impositions　to　write。　The　imposition；　a　punishment　which
varies　according　to　the　practice　of　different　schools；　consisted　at
Vendome　of　a　certain　number　of　lines　to　be　written　out　in　play　hours。
Lambert　and　I　were　so　overpowered　with　impositions；　that　we　had　not
six　free　days　during　the　two　years　of　our　school　friendship。　But　for
the　books　we　took　out　of　the　library；　which　maintained　some　vitality
in　our　brains；　this　system　of　discipline　would　have　reduced　us　to
idiotcy。　Want　of　exercise　is　fatal　to　children。　The　habit　of
preserving　a　dignified　appearance；　begun　in　tender　infancy；　has；　it　is
said；　a　visible　effect　on　the　constitution　of　royal　personages　when
the　faults　of　such　an　education　are　not　counteracted　by　the　life　of
the　battle…field　or　the　laborious　sport　of　hunting。　And　if　the　laws　of
etiquette　and　Court　manners　can　act　on　the　spinal　marrow　to　such　an
extent　as　to　affect　the　pelvis　of　kings；　to　soften　their　cerebral
tissue；　and　so　degenerate　the　race；　what　deep…seated　mischief；
physical　and　moral；　must　result　in　schoolboys　from　the　constant　lack
of　air；　exercise；　and　cheerfulness！

Indeed；　the　rules　of　punishment　carried　out　in　schools　deserve　the
attention　of　the　Office　of　Public　Instruction　when　any　thinkers　are　to
be　found　there　who　do　not　think　exclusively　of　themselves。

We　incurred　the　infliction　of　an　imposition　in　a　thousand　ways。　Our
memory　was　so　good　that　we　never　learned　a　lesson。　It　was　enough　for
either　of　us　to　hear　our　class…fellows　repeat　the　task　in　French；
Latin；　or　grammar；　and　we　could　say　it　when　our　turn　came；　but　if　the
master；　unfortunately；　took　it　into　his　head　to　reverse　the　usual
order　and　call　upon　us　first；　we　very　often　did　not　even　know　what　the
lesson　was；　then　the　imposition　fell　in　spite　of　our　most　ingenious
excuses。　Then　we　always　put　off　writing　our　exercises　till　the　last
moment；　if　there　were　a　book　to　be　finished；　or　if　we　were　lost　in
thought；　the　task　was　forgottenagain　an　imposition。　How　often　have
we　scribbled　an　exercise　during　the　time　when　the　head…boy；　whose
business　it　was　to　collect　them　when　we　came　into　school；　was
gathering　them　from　the　others！

In　addition　to　the　moral　misery　which　Lambert　went　through　in　trying
to　acclimatize　himself　to　college　life；　there　was　a　scarcely　less
cruel　apprenticeship　through　which　every　boy　had　to　pass：　to　those
bodily　sufferings　which　seemed　infinitely　varied。　The　tenderness　of　a
child's　skin　needs　extreme　care；　especially　in　winter；　when　a　school…
boy　is　constantly　exchanging　the　frozen　air　of　the　muddy　playing…yard
for　the　stuffy　atmosphere　of　the　classroom。　The　〃little　boys〃　and　the
smallest　of　all；　for　lack　of　a　mother's　care；　were　martyrs　to
chilblains　and　chaps　so　severe　that　they　had　to　be　regularly　dressed
during　the　breakfast　hour；　but　this　could　only　be　very　indifferently
done　to　so　many　damaged　hands；　toes；　and　heels。　A　good　many　of　the
boys　indeed　were　obliged　to　prefer　the　evil　to　the　remedy；　the　choice
constantly　lay　between　their　lessons　waiting　to　be　finished　or　the
joys　of　a　slide；　and　waiting　for　a　bandage　carelessly　put　on；　and
still　more　carelessly　cast　off　again。　Also　it　was　the　fashion　in　the
school　to　gibe　at　the　poor；　feeble　creatures　who　went　to　be　doctored；
the　bullies　vied　with　each　other　in　snatching　off　the　rags　which　the
infirmary　nurse　had　tied　on。　Hence；　in　winter；　many　of　us；　with　half…
dead　feet　and　fingers；　sick　with　pain；　were　incapable　of　work；　and
punished　for　not　working。　The　Fathers；　too　often　deluded　by　shammed
ailments；　would　not　believe　in　real　suffering。

The　price　paid　for　our　schooling　and　board　also　covered　the　cost　of
clothing。　The　committee　contracted　for　the　shoes　and　clothes　supplied
to　the　boys；　hence　the　weekly　inspection　of　which　I　have　spoken。　This
plan；　though　admirable　for　the　manager；　is　always　disastrous　to　the
managed。　Woe　to　the　boy　who　indulged　in　the　bad　habit　of　treading　his
shoes　down　at　heel；　of　cracking　the　shoe…leather；　or　wearing　out　the
soles　too　fast；　whether　from　a　defect　in　his　gait；　or　by　fidgeting
during　lessons　in　obedience　to　the　instinctive　need　of　movement　common
to　all　children。　That　boy　did　not　get　through　the　winter　without　great
suffering。　In　the　first　place；　his　chilblains　would　ache　and　shot　as
badly　as　a　fit　of　the　gout；　then　the　rivets　and　pack…thread　intended
to　repair　the　shoes　would　give　way；　or　the　broken　heels　would　prevent
the　wretched　shoes　from　keeping　on　his　feet；　he　was　obliged　to　drag
them　wearily　along　the　frozen　roads；　or　sometimes　to　dispute　their
possession　with　the　clay　soil　of　the　district；　the　water　and　snow　got
in　through　some　unnoticed　crack　or　ill…sewn　patch；　and　the　foot　would
swell。

Out　of　sixty　boys；　not　ten　perhaps　could　walk　without　some　special
form　of　torture；　and　yet　they　all　kept　up　with　the　body　of　the　troop；
dragged　on　by　the　general　movement；　as　men　are　driven　through　life　by
life　itself。　Many　a　time　some　proud…tempered　boy　would　shed　tears　of
rage　while　summoning　his　remaining　energy　to　run　ahead　and　get　home
again　in　spite　of　pain；　so　sensitively　afraid　of　laughter　or　of　pity
two　forms　of　scornis　the　still　tender　soul　at　that　age。

At　school；　as　in　social　life；　the　strong　despise　the　feeble　without
knowing　in　what　true　strength　consists。

Nor　was　this　all。　No　gloves。　If　by　good　hap　a　boy's　parents；　the
infirmary　nurse；　or　the　headmaster　gave　gloves　to　a　particularly
delicate　lad；　the　wags　or　the　big　boys　of　the　class　would　put　them　on
the　stove；　amused　to　see　them　dry　and　shrivel；　or　if　the　gloves
escaped　the　marauders；　after　getting　wet　they　shrunk　as　they　dried　for
want　of　care。　No；　gloves　were　impossible。　Gloves　were　a　privilege；　and
boys　insist　on　equality。

Louis　Lambert　fell　a　victim　to　all　these　varieties　of　torment。　Like
many　contemplative　men；　who；　when　lost　in　thought；　acquire　a　habit　of
mechanical　motion；　he　had　a　mania　for　fidgeting　with　his　shoes；　and
destroyed　them　very　quickly。　His　girlish　complexion；　the　skin　of　his
ears　and　lips；　cracked　with　the　least　cold。　His　soft；　white　hands　grew
red　and　swollen。　He　had　perpetual　colds。　Thus　he　was　a　constant
sufferer　till　he　became　inured　to　school…life。　Taught　at　last　by　cruel
experience；　he　was　obliged　to　〃look　after　his　things；〃　to　use　the
school　phrase。　He　was　forced　to　take　care　of　his　locker；　his　desk；　his
clothes；　his　shoes；　to　protect　his　ink；　his　books；　his　copy…paper；　and
his　pens　from　pilferers；　in　short；　to　give　his　mind　to　the　thousand
details　of　our　trivial　life；　to　which　more　selfish　and　commonplace
minds　devoted　such　strict　attentionthus　infallibly　securing　prizes
for　〃proficiency〃　and　〃good　conduct〃while　they　were　overlooked　by　a
boy　of　the　highest　promise；　who；　under　the　hand　of　an　almost　divine
imagination；　gave　himself　up　with　rapture　to　the　flow　of　his　ideas。

This　was　not　all。　There　is　a　perpetual　struggle　going　on　between　the
masters　and　the　boys；　a　struggle　without　truce；　to　be　compared　with
nothing　else　in　the　social　world；　unless　it　be　the　resistance　of　the
opposition　to　the　ministry