dream life and real life-第3部分

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throat；　and　dragged　him　out。



Next　night；　the　moon　rose　up；　and　mounted　the　quiet　sky。　　She　was　full　now；

and　looked　in　at　the　little　home；　at　the　purple　flowers　stuck　about　the

room；　and　the　kippersol　on　the　shelf。　　Her　light　fell　on　the　willow　trees；

and　on　the　high　rocks；　and　on　a　little　new…made　heap　of　earth　and　round

stones。　　Three　men　knew　what　was　under　it；　and　no　one　else　ever　will。



Lily　Kloof；

South　Africa。







II。　　THE　WOMAN'S　ROSE。



I　have　an　old；　brown　carved　box；　the　lid　is　broken　and　tied　with　a　string。　

In　it　I　keep　little　squares　of　paper；　with　hair　inside；　and　a　little

picture　which　hung　over　my　brother's　bed　when　we　were　children；　and　other

things　as　small。　　I　have　in　it　a　rose。　　Other　women　also　have　such　boxes

where　they　keep　such　trifles；　but　no　one　has　my　rose。



When　my　eye　is　dim；　and　my　heart　grows　faint；　and　my　faith　in　woman

flickers；　and　her　present　is　an　agony　to　me；　and　her　future　a　despair；　the

scent　of　that　dead　rose；　withered　for　twelve　years；　comes　back　to　me。　　I

know　there　will　be　spring；　as　surely　as　the　birds　know　it　when　they　see

above　the　snow　two　tiny；　quivering　green　leaves。　　Spring　cannot　fail　us。



There　were　other　flowers　in　the　box　once；　a　bunch　of　white　acacia　flowers；

gathered　by　the　strong　hand　of　a　man；　as　we　passed　down　a　village　street　on

a　sultry　afternoon；　when　it　had　rained；　and　the　drops　fell　on　us　from　the

leaves　of　the　acacia　trees。　　The　flowers　were　damp；　they　made　mildew　marks

on　the　paper　I　folded　them　in。　　After　many　years　I　threw　them　away。　　There

is　nothing　of　them　left　in　the　box　now；　but　a　faint；　strong　smell　of　dried

acacia；　that　recalls　that　sultry　summer　afternoon；　but　the　rose　is　in　the

box　still。



It　is　many　years　ago　now；　I　was　a　girl　of　fifteen；　and　I　went　to　visit　in　a

small　up…country　town。　　It　was　young　in　those　days；　and　two　days'　journey

from　the　nearest　village；　the　population　consisted　mainly　of　men。　　A　few

were　married；　and　had　their　wives　and　children；　but　most　were　single。　

There　was　only　one　young　girl　there　when　I　came。　　She　was　about　seventeen；

fair；　and　rather　fully…fleshed；　she　had　large　dreamy　blue　eyes；　and　wavy

light　hair；　full；　rather　heavy　lips；　until　she　smiled；　then　her　face　broke

into　dimples；　and　all　her　white　teeth　shone。　　The　hotel…keeper　may　have　had

a　daughter；　and　the　farmer　in　the　outskirts　had　two；　but　we　never　saw　them。

She　reigned　alone。　　All　the　men　worshipped　her。　　She　was　the　only　woman

they　had　to　think　of。　　They　talked　of　her　on　the　stoep；　at　the　market；　at

the　hotel；　they　watched　for　her　at　street　corners；　they　hated　the　man　she

bowed　to　or　walked　with　down　the　street。　　They　brought　flowers　to　the　front

door；　they　offered　her　their　horses；　they　begged　her　to　marry　them　when

they　dared。　　Partly；　there　was　something　noble　and　heroic　in　this　devotion

of　men　to　the　best　woman　they　knew；　partly　there　was　something　natural　in

it；　that　these　men；　shut　off　from　the　world；　should　pour　at　the　feet　of　one

woman　the　worship　that　otherwise　would　have　been　given　to　twenty；　and

partly　there　was　something　mean　in　their　envy　of　one　another。　　If　she　had

raised　her　little　finger；　I　suppose；　she　might　have　married　any　one　out　of

twenty　of　them。



Then　I　came。　　I　do　not　think　I　was　prettier；　I　do　not　think　I　was　so　pretty

as　she　was。　　I　was　certainly　not　as　handsome。　　But　I　was　vital；　and　I　was

new；　and　she　was　oldthey　all　forsook　her　and　followed　me。　　They

worshipped　me。　　It　was　to　my　door　that　the　flowers　came；　it　was　I　had

twenty　horses　offered　me　when　I　could　only　ride　one；　it　was　for　me　they

waited　at　street　corners；　it　was　what　I　said　and　did　that　they　talked　of。　

Partly　I　liked　it。　　I　had　lived　alone　all　my　life；　no　one　ever　had　told　me

I　was　beautiful　and　a　woman。　　I　believed　them。　　I　did　not　know　it　was

simply　a　fashion；　which　one　man　had　set　and　the　rest　followed

unreasoningly。　　I　liked　them　to　ask　me　to　marry　them；　and　to　say；　No。　　I

despised　them。　　The　mother　heart　had　not　swelled　in　me　yet；　I　did　not　know

all　men　were　my　children；　as　the　large　woman　knows　when　her　heart　is　grown。　

I　was　too　small　to　be　tender。　　I　liked　my　power。　　I　was　like　a　child　with　a

new　whip；　which　it　goes　about　cracking　everywhere；　not　caring　against　what。　

I　could　not　wind　it　up　and　put　it　away。　　Men　were　curious　creatures；　who

liked　me；　I　could　never　tell　why。　　Only　one　thing　took　from　my　pleasure；　I

could　not　bear　that　they　had　deserted　her　for　me。　　I　liked　her　great　dreamy

blue　eyes；　I　liked　her　slow　walk　and　drawl；　when　I　saw　her　sitting　among

men；　she　seemed　to　me　much　too　good　to　be　among　them；　I　would　have　given

all　their　compliments　if　she　would　once　have　smiled　at　me　as　she　smiled　at

them；　with　all　her　face　breaking　into　radiance；　with　her　dimples　and

flashing　teeth。　　But　I　knew　it　never　could　be；　I　felt　sure　she　hated　me；

that　she　wished　I　was　dead；　that　she　wished　I　had　never　come　to　the

village。　　She　did　not　know；　when　we　went　out　riding；　and　a　man　who　had

always　ridden　beside　her　came　to　ride　beside　me；　that　I　sent　him　away；　that

once　when　a　man　thought　to　win　my　favour　by　ridiculing　her　slow　drawl

before　me　I　turned　on　him　so　fiercely　that　he　never　dared　come　before　me

again。　　I　knew　she　knew　that　at　the　hotel　men　had　made　a　bet　as　to　which

was　the　prettier；　she　or　I；　and　had　asked　each　man　who　came　in；　and　that

the　one　who　had　staked　on　me　won。　　I　hated　them　for　it；　but　I　would　not　let

her　see　that　I　cared　about　what　she　felt　towards　me。



She　and　I　never　spoke　to　each　other。



If　we　met　in　the　village　street　we　bowed　and　passed　on；　when　we　shook　hands

we　did　so　silently；　and　did　not　look　at　each　other。　　But　I　thought　she　felt

my　presence　in　a　room　just　as　I　felt　hers。



At　last　the　time　for　my　going　came。　　I　was　to　leave　the　next　day。　　Some　one

I　knew　gave　a　party　in　my　honour；　to　which　all　the　village　was　invited。



It　was　midwinter。　　There　was　nothing　in　the　gardens　but　a　few　dahlias　and

chrysanthemums；　and　I　suppose　that　for　two　hundred　miles　round　there　was

not　a　rose　to　be　bought　for　love　or　money。　　Only　in　the　garden　of　a　friend

of　mine；　in　a　sunny　corner　between　the　oven　and　the　brick　wall；　there　was　a

rose　tree　growing　which　had　on　it　one　bud。　　It　was　white；　and　it　had　been

promised　to　the　fair　haired　girl　to　wear　at　the　party。



The　evening　came；　when　I　arrived　and　went　to　the　waiting…room；　to　take　off

my　mantle；　I　found　the　girl　there　already。　　She　was　dressed　in　pure　white；

with　her　great　white　arms　and　shoulders　showing；　and　her　bright　hair

glittering　in　the　candle…light；　and　the　white　rose　fastened　at　her　breast。

She　looked　like　a　queen。　　I　said　〃Good…evening；〃　and　turned　away　quickly　to

the　glass　to　arrange　my　old　black　scarf　across　my　old　black　dress。



Then　I　felt　a　hand　touch　my　hair。



〃Stand　still；〃　she　said。



I　looked　in　the　glass。　　She　had　taken　the　white　rose　from　her　breast；　and

was　fastening　it　in　my　hair。



〃How　nice　dark　hair　is；　it　sets　off　flowers　so。〃　　She　stepped　back　and

looked　at　me。　　〃It　looks　much　better　there！〃



I　turned　round。



〃You　are　so　beautiful　to　me；〃　I　said。



〃Y…e…s；〃　she　said；　with　her　slow　Colonial　drawl；　〃I'm　so　glad。〃



We　stood　looking　at　each　other。



Then　they　came　in　and　swept　us　away　to　dance。　　All　the　evening　we　did　not

come　near　to　each　other。　　Only　once；　as　she　passed；　she　smiled　at　me。



The　next　morning　I　left　the　town。



I　never　saw　her　again。



Years　afterwards　I　heard　she　had　married　and　gone　to　America；　it　may　or　may

not　be　sobut　the　rosethe　rose　is　in　the　box　still！　　When　my　faith　in

woman　grows　dim；　and　it　seems　that　for　want　of　love　and　magnanimity　she　can

play　no　part　in　any　future　heaven；　then　the　scent　of　that　small　withered

thing　comes　back：spring　cannot　fail　us。



Matjesfontein；

South　Africa。







III。　　〃THE　POLICY　IN　FAVOUR　OF　PROTECTION〃。



Was　it　Right？Was　it　Wrong？



A　woman　sat　at　her　desk　in　the　corner　of　a　room；　behind　her　a　fire　burnt

brightly。



Presently　a　servant　came　in　and　gave　her　a　card。



〃Say　I　am　busy　and　can　see　no　one　now。　　I　have　to　finish　this　article　by

two　o'clock。〃



The　servant　came　back。　　The　caller　said　she　would　only　keep　her　a　moment：　

it　was　necessary　she　should　see　her。



The　woman　rose　from　her　desk。　　〃Tell　the　boy　to　wait。　　Ask　the　lady　to　come

in。〃



A　young　woman　in　a　silk　dress；　with　a　cloak　reaching　to　her　feet；　entered。

She　was　tall　and　slight；　with　fair　hair。



〃I　knew　you　would　not　mind。　　I　wished　to　see　you　so！〃



The　woman　offered　her　a　seat　by　the　fire。　　〃May　I　loosen　your　cloak？the

room　is　warm。〃



〃I　wanted　so　to　come　and　see　you。　　You　are　the　only　person　in　the　world　who

could　help　me！　　I　know　you　are　so　large；　and　generous；　and　kind　to　other

women！〃　　She　sat　down。　　Tears　stood　in　her　large　blue　eyes：　　she　was

pulling　off　her　little　gloves　unconsciously。



〃You　know　Mr。〃　（she　mentioned　the　name　of　a　well…known　writer）：　〃I　know

you　meet　him　often　in　your　work。　　I　want　you　to　do　something　for　me！〃



The　woman　on　the　hearth…rug　looked　down　at　her。



〃I　couldn't　tell　my　father　or　my　mother；　or　any　one　else；　but　I　can　tell

you；　though　I　know　so　little　of　you。　　You　know；　last　summer　he　came　and

stayed　with　us　a　month。　　I　saw　a　great　deal　of　him。　　I　don't　know　if　he

liked　me；　I　know　he　liked　my　singing；　and　we　rode　togetherI　liked　him

more　than　any　man　I　have　ever　seen。　　Oh；　you　know　it　isn't　true　that　a

woman　can　only　like　a　man　when　he　likes　her；　and　I　thought；　perhaps；　he

liked　me　a　little。　　Since　we　have　been　in　town　we　have　asked；　but　he　has

never　come　to　see　us。　　Perhaps　people　have　been　saying　something　to　him

about　me。　　You　know　him；　you　are　always　meeting　him；　couldn't　you　say　or　do

anything　for　me？〃　　She　looked　up　with　her　lips　white　and　drawn。　　〃I　feel

sometimes　as　if　I　were　going　mad！　　Oh；　it　is　so　terrible　to　be　a　woman！〃　

The　woman　looked　down　at　her。　　〃Now　I　hear　he　likes　another　w