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the touchstone(试金石)-第20部分
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them。 。 。 。〃 Her voice wavered on the word。 〃We can't always tear
down the temples we've built to the unclean gods; but we can put good
spirits in the house of evilthe spirits of mercy and shame and
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THE TOUCHSTONE
understanding; that might never have come to us if we hadn't been in such
great need。 。 。 。〃
She moved over to him and laid a hesitating hand on his。 His head
was bent and he did not change his attitude。 She sat down beside him
without speaking; but their silences now were fertile as rain… cloudsthey
quickened the seeds of understanding。
At length he looked up。 〃I don't know;〃 he said; 〃what spirits have
come to live in the house of evil that I builtbut you're there and that's
enough for me。 It's strange;〃 he went on after another pause; 〃she wished
the best for me so often; and now; at last; it's through her that it's come to
me。 But for her I shouldn't have known youit's through her that I've
found you。 Sometimes; do you know?that makes it hardestmakes me
most intolerable to myself。 Can't you see that it's the worst thing I've got
to face? I sometimes think I could have borne it better if you hadn't
understood! I took everything from hereverything even to the poor
shelter of loyalty she'd trusted inthe only thing I could have left her!I
took everything from her; I deceived her; I despoiled her; I destroyed her
and she's given me YOU in return!〃
His wife's cry caught him up。 〃It isn't that she's given ME to youit
is that she's given you to yourself。〃 She leaned to him as though swept
forward on a wave of pity。 〃Don't you see;〃 she went on; as his eyes
hung on her; 〃that that's the gift you can't escape from; the debt you're
pledged to acquit? Don't you see that you've never before been what she
thought you; and that now; so wonderfully; she's made you into the man
she loved? THAT'S worth suffering for; worth dying for; to a woman
that's the gift she would have wished to give!〃
〃Ah;〃 he cried; 〃but woe to him by whom it cometh。 What did I ever
give her?〃
〃The happiness of giving;〃 she said。
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