the fatal boots-第6部分

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And　now；　sir；〃　says　he；　turning　round　to　Dobble；　〃is　this　your

hat？〃



〃Yes；〃　says　Dobble；　fit　to　choke　with　fright。



〃Well；　then；〃　says　Brisket；　〃it's　my（hic）my　painful　duty　to

（hic）to　tell　you；　that　as　I've　got　your　hat；　I　must　have　your

head；it's　painful；　but　it　must　be　done。　　You'd　better（hic）

settle　yourself　comcomfumarably　against　that（hic）that　block；

and　I'll　chop　it　off　before　you　can　say　Jack（hic）no；　I　mean

Jack　Robinson。〃



Dobble　went　down　on　his　knees　and　shrieked　out；　〃I'm　an　only　son；

Mr。　Brisket！　　I'll　marry　her；　sir；　I　will；　upon　my　honor；　sir。

Consider　my　mother；　sir；　consider　my　mother。〃



〃That's　it；　sir；〃　says　Brisket　that's　a　good（hic）a　good　boy；

just　put　your　head　down　quietlyand　I'll　have　it　offyes；　offas

if　you　were　Louis　the　Sixthe　Sixtixthe　Siktickleteenth。I'll

chop　the　other　CHAP　AFTERWARDS。〃



When　I　heard　this；　I　made　a　sudden　bound　back；　and　gave　such　a　cry

as　any　man　might　who　was　in　such　a　way。　　The　ferocious　Jowler；

thinking　I　was　going　to　escape；　flew　at　my　throat；　screaming

furious；　I　flung　out　my　arms　in　a　kind　of　desperation；and；　to　my

wonder；　down　fell　the　dog；　dead；　and　run　through　the　body！



　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。



At　this　moment　a　posse　of　people　rushed　in　upon　old　Brisket；one

of　his　daughters　had　had　the　sense　to　summon　them；and　Dobble's

head　was　saved。　　And　when　they　saw　the　dog　lying　dead　at　my　feet；

my　ghastly　look；　my　bloody　sword；　they　gave　me　no　small　credit　for

my　bravery。　　〃A　terrible　fellow　that　Stubbs；〃　said　they；　and　so　the

mess　said；　the　next　day。



I　didn't　tell　them　that　the　dog　had　committed　SUICIDEwhy　should

I？　　And　I　didn't　say　a　word　about　Dobble's　cowardice。　　I　said　he

was　a　brave　fellow；　and　fought　like　a　tiger；　and　this　prevented　HIM

from　telling　tales。　　I　had　the　dogskin　made　into　a　pair　of　pistol…

holsters；　and　looked　so　fierce；　and　got　such　a　name　for　courage　in

our　regiment；　that　when　we　had　to　meet　the　regulars；　Bob　Stubbs　was

always　the　man　put　forward　to　support　the　honor　of　the　corps。　　The

women；　you　know；　adore　courage；　and　such　was　my　reputation　at　this

time；　that　I　might　have　had　my　pick　out　of　half　a　dozen；　with

three；　four；　or　five　thousand　pounds　apiece；　who　were　dying　for

love　of　me　and　my　red　coat。　　But　I　wasn't　such　a　fool。　　I　had　been

twice　on　the　point　of　marriage；　and　twice　disappointed；　and　I　vowed

by　all　the　Saints　to　have　a　wife；　and　a　rich　one。　　Depend　upon

this；　as　an　infallible　maxim　to　guide　you　through　life：　　IT'S　AS

EASY　TO　GET　A　RICH　WIFE　AS　A　POOR　ONE；the　same　bait　that　will

hook　a　fly　will　hook　a　salmon。





JULY。SUMMARY　PROCEEDINGS。





Dobble's　reputation　for　courage　was　not　increased　by　the　butcher's…

dog　adventure；　but　mine　stood　very　high：　little　Stubbs　was　voted

the　boldest　chap　of　all　the　bold　North　Bungays。　　And　though　I　must

confess；　what　was　proved　by　subsequent　circumstances；　that　nature

has　NOT　endowed　me　with　a　large；　or　even；　I　may　say；　an　average

share　of　bravery；　yet　a　man　is　very　willing　to　flatter　himself　to

the　contrary；　and；　after　a　little　time；　I　got　to　believe　that　my

killing　the　dog　was　an　action　of　undaunted　courage；　and　that　I　was

as　gallant　as　any　of　the　one　hundred　thousand　heroes　of　our　army。

I　always　had　a　military　tasteit's　only　the　brutal　part　of　the

profession；　the　horrid　fighting　and　blood；　that　I　don't　like。



I　suppose　the　regiment　was　not　very　brave　itselfbeing　only

militia；　but　certain　it　was；　that　Stubbs　was　considered　a　most

terrible　fellow；　and　I　swore　so　much；　and　looked　so　fierce；　that

you　would　have　fancied　I　had　made　half　a　hundred　campaigns。　　I　was

second　in　several　duels；　the　umpire　in　all　disputes；　and　such　a

crack…shot　myself；　that　fellows　were　shy　of　insulting　me。　　As　for

Dobble；　I　took　him　under　my　protection；　and　he　became　so　attached

to　me；　that　we　ate；　drank；　and　rode　together　every　day；　his　father

didn't　care　for　money；　so　long　as　his　son　was　in　good　companyand

what　so　good　as　that　of　the　celebrated　Stubbs？　　Heigho！　　I　WAS　good

company　in　those　days；　and　a　brave　fellow　too；　as　I　should　have

remained；　but　forwhat　I　shall　tell　the　public　immediately。



It　happened；　in　the　fatal　year　ninety…six；　that　the　brave　North

Bungays　were　quartered　at　Portsmouth；　a　maritime　place；　which　I

need　not　describe；　and　which　I　wish　I　had　never　seen。　　I　might　have

been　a　General　now；　or；　at　least；　a　rich　man。



The　red…coats　carried　everything　before　them　in　those　days；　and　I；

such　a　crack　character　as　I　was　in　my　regiment；　was　very　well

received　by　the　townspeople：　many　dinners　I　had；　many　tea…parties；

many　lovely　young　ladies　did　I　lead　down　the　pleasant　country…

dances。



Well；　although　I　had　had　the　two　former　rebuffs　in　love　which　I

have　described；　my　heart　was　still　young；　and　the　fact　was；　knowing

that　a　girl　with　a　fortune　was　my　only　chance；　I　made　love　here　as

furiously　as　ever。　　I　shan't　describe　the　lovely　creatures　on　whom

I　fixed；　whilst　at　Portsmouth。　　I　tried　more　thanseveraland　it

is　a　singular　fact；　which　I　never　have　been　able　to　account　for；

that；　successful　as　I　was　with　ladies　of　maturer　age；　by　the　young

ones　I　was　refused　regular。



But　〃faint　heart　never　won　fair　lady；〃　and　so　I　went　on；　and　on；

until　I　had　got　a　Miss　Clopper；　a　tolerable　rich　navy…contractor's

daughter；　into　such　a　way；　that　I　really　don't　think　she　could　have

refused　me。　　Her　brother；　Captain　Clopper；　was　in　a　line　regiment；

and　helped　me　as　much　as　ever　he　could：　he　swore　I　was　such　a　brave

fellow。



As　I　had　received　a　number　of　attentions　from　Clopper；　I　determined

to　invite　him　to　dinner；　which　I　could　do　without　any　sacrifice　of

my　principle　upon　this　point：　for　the　fact　is；　Dobble　lived　at　an

inn；　and　as　he　sent　all　his　bills　to　his　father；　I　made　no　scruple

to　use　his　table。　　We　dined　in　the　coffee…room；　Dobble　bringing　HIS

friend；　and　so　we　made　a　party　CARRY；　as　the　French　say。　　Some

naval　officers　were　occupied　in　a　similar　way　at　a　table　next　to

ours。



WellI　didn't　spare　the　bottle；　either　for　myself　or　for　my

friends；　and　we　grew　very　talkative；　and　very　affectionate　as　the

drinking　went　on。　　Each　man　told　stories　of　his　gallantry　in　the

field；　or　amongst　the　ladies；　as　officers　will；　after　dinner。

Clopper　confided　to　the　company　his　wish　that　I　should　marry　his

sister；　and　vowed　that　he　thought　me　the　best　fellow　in　Christendom。



Ensign　Dobble　assented　to　this。　　〃But　let　Miss　Clopper　beware；〃

says　he；　〃for　Stubbs　is　a　sad　fellow：　he　has　had　I　don't　know　how

many　liaisons　already；　and　he　has　been　engaged　to　I　don't　know　how

many　women。〃



〃Indeed！〃　says　Clopper。　　〃Come；　Stubbs；　tell　us　your　adventures。〃



〃Psha！〃　said　I；　modestly；　〃there　is　nothing；　indeed；　to　tell。　　I

have　been　in　love；　my　dear　boywho　has　not？and　I　have　been

jiltedwho　has　not？〃



Clopper　swore　he　would　blow　his　sister's　brains　out　if　ever　SHE

served　me　so。



〃Tell　him　about　Miss　Crutty；〃　said　Dobble。　　〃He！　he！　　Stubbs　served

THAT　woman　out；　anyhow；　she　didn't　jilt　HIM。　　I'll　be　sworn。〃



〃Really；　Dobble；　you　are　too　bad；　and　should　not　mention　names。

The　fact　is；　the　girl　was　desperately　in　love　with　me；　and　had

moneysixty　thousand　pounds；　upon　my　reputation。　　Well；　everything

was　arranged；　when　who　should　come　down　from　London　but　a

relation。〃



〃Well；　and　did　he　prevent　the　match？〃



〃Prevent　ityes；　sir；　I　believe　you　he　did；　though　not　in　the

sense　that　YOU　mean。　　He　would　have　given　his　eyesay；　and　ten

thousand　pounds　moreif　I　would　have　accepted　the　girl；　but　I

would　not。〃



〃Why；　in　the　name　of　goodness？〃



〃Sir；　her　uncle　was　a　SHOEMAKER。　　I　never　would　debase　myself　by

marrying　into　such　a　family。〃



〃Of　course　not；〃　said　Dobble；　〃he　couldn't；　you　know。　　Well；　now

tell　him　about　the　other　girl；　Mary　Waters；　you　know。〃



〃Hush；　Dobble；　hush！　don't　you　see　one　of　those　naval　officers　has

turned　round　and　heard　you？　　My　dear　Clopper；　it　was　a　mere

childish　bagatelle。〃



〃Well；　but　let's　have　it；〃　said　Clopper〃let's　have　it。　　I　won't

tell　my　sister；　you　know。〃　　And　he　put　his　hand　to　his　nose　and

looked　monstrous　wise。



〃Nothing　of　that　sort；　Clopperno；　no'pon　honorlittle　Bob

Stubbs　is　no　LIBERTINE；　and　the　story　is　very　simple。　　You　see　that

my　father　has　a　small　place；　merely　a　few　hundred　acres；　at

Sloffemsquiggle。　　Isn't　it　a　funny　name？　　Hang　it；　there's　the

naval　gentleman　staring　again；〃（I　looked　terribly　fierce　as　I

returned　this　officer's　stare；　and　continued　in　a　loud　careless

voice）。　　Well；　at　this　Sloffemsquiggle　there　lived　a　girl；　a　Miss

Waters；　the　niece　of　some　blackguard　apothecary　in　the　neighborhood；

but　my　mother　took　a　fancy　to　the　girl；　and　had　her　up　to　the　park

and　petted　her。　　We　were　both　youngandandthe　girl　fell　in　love

with　me；　that's　the　fact。　　I　was　obliged　to　repel　some　rather　warm

advances　that　she　made　me；　and　here；　upon　my　honor　as　a　gentleman；

you　have　all　the　story　about　which　that　silly　Dobble　makes　such　a

noise。



Just　as　I　finished　this　sentence。　　I　found　myself　suddenly　taken　by

the　nose；　and　a　voice　shouting　out；



〃Mr。　Stubbs；　you　are　A　LIAR　AND　A　SCOUNDREL！　　Take　this；　sir；and

this；　for　daring　to　meddle　with　the　name　of　an　innocent　lady。〃



I　turned　round　as　well　as　I　couldfor　the　ruffian　had　pulled　me

out　of　my　chairand　beheld　a　great　marine　monster；　six　feet　high；

who　was　occupied　in　beating　and　kicking　me；　in　the　most

ungentlemanly　manner；　on　my　cheeks；　my　ribs；　and　between　the　tails

of　my　coat。　　〃He　is　a　liar；　gentlemen；　and　a　scoundrel！　　The

bootmaker　had　detected　him　in　swindling；　and　so　his　niece　refused

him。　　Miss　Waters　was　engaged　to　him　from　childhood；　and　he

deserted　her　for　the　bootmaker's　niece；　who　was　richer。〃And　then

sticking　a　card　between　my　stock　and　my　coat…collar；　in　what　is

called　the　scruff　of　my　neck；　the　disgusting　brute　gave　me　another

blow　behind　my　back；　and　left　the　coffe