letters to his son, 1751-第14部分

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I　am　very　glad　you　are　going　to　Orli；　and　from　thence　to　St。　Cloud；　go　to　both；　and　to　Versailles　also；　often。　　It　is　that　interior　domestic　familiarity　with　people　of　fashion；　that　alone　can　give　you　'l'usage　du　monde；　et　les　manieres　aisees'。　　It　is　only　with　women　one　loves；　or　men　one　respects；　that　the　desire　of　pleasing　exerts　itself；　and　without　the　desire　of　pleasing　no　man　living　can　please。　　Let　that　desire　be　the　spring　of　all　your　words　and　actions。　　That　happy　talent；　the　art　of　pleasing；　which　so　few　do；　though　almost　all　might　possess；　is　worth　all　your　learning　and　knowledge　put　together。　　The　latter　can　never　raise　you　high　without　the　former；　but　the　former　may　carry　you；　as　it　has　carried　thousands；　a　great　way　without　the　latter。

I　am　glad　that　you　dance　so　well；　as　to　be　reckoned　by　Marcel　among　his　best　scholars；　go　on；　and　dance　better　still。　　Dancing　well　is　pleasing　'pro　tanto'；　and　makes　a　part　of　that　necessary　whole；　which　is　composed　of　a　thousand　parts；　many　of　them　of　'les　infiniment　petits　quoi　qu'infiniment　necessaires'。

I　shall　never　have　done　upon　this　subject　which　is　indispensably　necessary　toward　your　making　any　figure　or　fortune　in　the　world；　both　which　I　have　set　my　heart　upon；　and　for　both　which　you　now　absolutely　want　no　one　thing　but　the　art　of　pleasing；　and　I　must　not　conceal　from　you　that　you　have　still　a　good　way　to　go　before　you　arrive　at　it。　　You　still　want　a　thousand　of　those　little　attentions　that　imply　a　desire　of　pleasing：　you　want　a　'douceur'　of　air　and　expression　that　engages：　you　want　an　elegance　and　delicacy　of　expression；　necessary　to　adorn　the　best　sense　and　most　solid　matter：　in　short；　you　still　want　a　great　deal　of　the　'brillant'　and　the　'poli'。　　Get　them　at　any　rate：　sacrifice　hecatombs　of　books　to　them：　seek　for　them　in　company；　and　renounce　your　closet　till　you　have　got　them。　　I　never　received　the　letter　you　refer　to；　if　ever　you　wrote　it。　　Adieu；　et　bon　soir；　Monseigneur。




LETTER　CXLV

GREENWICH；　June　6；　O。　S。　　1751。

MY　DEAR　FRIEND：　Solicitous　and　anxious　as　I　have　ever　been　to　form　your　heart；　your　mind；　and　your　manners；　and　to　bring　you　as　near　perfection　as　the　imperfection　of　our　natures　will　allow；　I　have　exhausted；　in　the　course　of　our　correspondence；　all　that　my　own　mind　could　suggest；　and　have　borrowed　from　others　whatever　I　thought　could　be　useful　to　you；　but　this　has　necessarily　been　interruptedly　and　by　snatches。　　It　is　now　time；　and　you　are　of　an　age　to　review　and　to　weigh　in　your　own　mind　all　that　you　have　heard；　and　all　that　you　have　read；　upon　these　subjects；　and　to　form　your　own　character；　your　conduct；　and　your　manners；　for　the　rest　of　your　life；　allowing　for　such　improvements　as　a　further　knowledge　of　the　world　will　naturally　give　you。　　In　this　view　I　would　recommend　to　you　to　read；　with　the　greatest　attention；　such　books　as　treat　particularly　of　those　subjects；　reflecting　seriously　upon　them；　and　then　comparing　the　speculation　with　the　practice。

For　example；　if　you　read　in　the　morning　some　of　La　Rochefoucault's　maxims；　consider　them；　examine　them　well；　and　compare　them　with　the　real　characters　you　meet　with　in　the　evening。　　Read　La　Bruyere　in　the　morning；　and　see　in　the　evening　whether　his　pictures　are　like。　　Study　the　heart　and　the　mind　of　man；　and　begin　with　your　own。　　Meditation　and　reflection　must　lay　the　foundation　of　that　knowledge：　but　experience　and　practice　must；　and　alone　can；　complete　it。　　Books；　it　is　true；　point　out　the　operations　of　the　mind；　the　sentiments　of　the　heart；　the　influence　of　the　passions；　and　so　far　they　are　of　previous　use：　but　without　subsequent　practice；　experience；　and　observation；　they　are　as　ineffectual；　and　would　even　lead　you　into　as　many　errors　in　fact；　as　a　map　would　do；　if　you　were　to　take　your　notions　of　the　towns　and　provinces　from　their　delineations　in　it。　　A　man　would　reap　very　little　benefit　by　his　travels；　if　he　made　them　only　in　his　closet　upon　a　map　of　the　whole　world。　　Next　to　the　two　books　that　I　have　already　mentioned；　I　do　not　know　a　better　for　you　to　read；　and　seriously　reflect　upon；　than　'Avis　d'une　Mere　d'un　Fils；　par　la　Marquise　de　Lambert'。　　She　was　a　woman　of　a　superior　understanding　and　knowledge　of　the　world；　had　always　kept　the　best　company；　was　solicitous　that　her　son　should　make　a　figure　and　a　fortune　in　the　world；　and　knew　better　than　anybody　how　to　point　out　the　means。　　It　is　very　short；　and　will　take　you　much　less　time　to　read；　than　you　ought　to　employ　in　reflecting　upon　it；　after　you　have　read　it。　　Her　son　was　in　the　army；　she　wished　he　might　rise　there；　but　she　well　knew；　that；　in　order　to　rise；　he　must　first　please：　she　says　to　him；　therefore；　With　regard　to　those　upon　whom　you　depend；　the　chief　merit　is　to　please。　　And；　in　another　place；　in　subaltern　employments；　the　art　of　pleasing　must　be　your　support。　　Masters　are　like　mistresses：　whatever　services　they　may　be　indebted　to　you　for；　they　cease　to　love　when　you　cease　to　be　agreeable。　　This；　I　can　assure　you；　is　at　least　as　true　in　courts　as　in　camps；　and　possibly　more　so。　If　to　your　merit　and　knowledge　you　add　the　art　of　pleasing；　you　may　very　probably　come　in　time　to　be　Secretary　of　State；　but；　take　my　word　for　it；　twice　your　merit　and　knowledge；　without　the　art　of　pleasing；　would；　at　most；　raise　you　to　the　IMPORTANT　POST　of　Resident　at　Hamburgh　or　Ratisbon。　　I　need　not　tell　you　now；　for　I　often　have；　and　your　own　discernment　must　have　told　you；　of　what　numberless　little　ingredients　that　art　of　pleasing　is　compounded；　and　how　the　want　of　the　least　of　them　lowers　the　whole；　but　the　principal　ingredient　is；　undoubtedly；　'la　douceur　dans　le　manieres'：　　nothing　will　give　you　this　more　than　keeping　company　with　your　superiors。　　Madame　Lambert　tells　her　son；　Let　your　connections　be　with　people　above　you；　by　that　means　you　will　acquire　a　habit　of　respect　and　politeness。　　With　one's　equals；　one　is　apt　to　become　negligent；　and　the　mind　grows　torpid。　She　advises　him；　too；　to　frequent　those　people；　and　to　see　their　inside；　In　order　to　judge　of　men；　one　must　be　intimately　connected；　thus　you　see　them　without；　a　veil；　and　with　their　mere　every…day　merit。　　A　happy　expression！　　It　was　for　this　reason　that　I　have　so　often　advised　you　to　establish　and　domesticate　yourself；　wherever　you　can；　in　good　houses　of　people　above　you；　that　you　may　see　their　EVERY…DAY　character；　manners；　habits；　etc。　　One　must　see　people　undressed　to　judge　truly　of　their　shape；　when　they　are　dressed　to　go　abroad；　their　clothes　are　contrived　to　conceal；　or　at　least　palliate　the　defects　of　it：　as　full…bottomed　wigs　were　contrived　for　the　Duke　of　Burgundy；　to　conceal　his　hump　back。　　Happy　those　who　have　no　faults　to　disguise；　nor　weaknesses　to　conceal！　there　are　few；　if　any　such；　but　unhappy　those　who　know　little　enough　of　the　world　to　judge　by　outward　appearances。　　Courts　are　the　best　keys　to　characters；　there　every　passion　is　busy；　every　art　exerted；　every　character　analyzed；　jealousy；　ever　watchful；　not　only　discovers；　but　exposes；　the　mysteries　of　the　trade；　so　that　even　　bystanders　'y　apprennent　a　deviner'。　　There　too　the　great　art　of　pleasing　is　practiced；　taught；　and　learned　with　all　its　graces　and　delicacies。　　It　is　the　first　thing　needful　there：　　It　is　the　absolutely　necessary　harbinger　of　merit　and　talents；　let　them　be　ever　so　great。　There　is　no　advancing　a　step　without　it。　　Let　misanthropes　and　would…be　philosophers　declaim　as　much　as　they　please　against　the　vices；　the　simulation；　and　dissimulation　of　courts；　those　invectives　are　always　the　result　of　ignorance；　ill…humor；　or　envy。　　Let　them　show　me　a　cottage；　where　there　are　not　the　same　vices　of　which　they　accuse　courts；　with　this　difference　only；　that　in　a　cottage　they　appear　in　their　native　deformity；　and　that　in　courts；　manners　and　good…breeding　make　them　less　shocking；　and　blunt　their　edge。　　No；　be　convinced　that　the　good…breeding；　the　'tournure；　la　douceur　dans　les　manieres'；　which　alone　are　to　be　acquired　at　courts；　are　not　the　showish　trifles　only　which　some　people　call　or　think　them；　they　are　a　solid　good；　they　prevent　a　great　deal　of　real　mischief；　they　create；　adorn；　and　strengthen　friendships；　they　keep　hatred　within　bounds；　they　promote　good…humor　and　good…will　in　families；　where　the　want　of　good…breeding　and　gentleness　of　manners　is　commonly　the　original　cause　of　discord。　　Get　then；　before　it　is　too　late；　a　habit　of　these　'mitiores　virtutes'：　practice　them　upon　every；　the　least　occasion；　that　they　may　be　easy　and　familiar　to　you　upon　the　greatest；　for　they　lose　a　great　degree　of　their　merit　if　they　seem　labored；　and　only　called　in　upon　extraordinary　occasions。　　I　tell　you　truly；　this　is　now　the　only　doubtful　part　of　your　character　with　me；　and　it　is　for　that　reason　that　I　dwell　upon　it　so　much；　and　inculcate　it　so　often。　　I　shall　soon　see　whether　this　doubt　of　mine　is　founded；　or　rather　I　hope　I　shall　soon　see　that　it　is　not。

This　moment　I　receive　your　letter　of　the　9th　N。　S。　　I　am　sorry　to　find　that　you　have　had；　though　ever　so　slight　a　return　of　your　Carniolan　disorder；　and　I　hope　your　conclusion　will　prove　a　true　one；　and　that　this　will　be　the　last。　　I　will　send　the　mohairs　by　the　first　opportunity。　　As　for　the　pictures；　I　am　already　so　full；　that　I　am　resolved　not　to　buy　one　more；　unless　by　great　accident　I　should　meet　with　something　surprisingly　good；　and　as　surprisingly　cheap。

I　should　have　thought　that　Lord　…；　at　his　age；　and　with　his　parts　and　address；　need　not　have　been　reduced　to　keep　an　opera　w…e；　in　such　a　place　as　Paris；　where　so　many　women　of　fashion　generously　serve　as　volunteers。　　I　am　still　more　sorry　that　he　is　in　love　with　her；　for　that　will　take　him　out　of　good　company；　and　sink　him　into　bad；　such　as　fiddlers；　pipers；　and　'id　genus　omne'；　most　unedifying　and　unbecoming　company　for　a　man　of　fashion！

Lady　Chesterfield　makes　you　a　thousand　compliments。　　Adieu；　my　dear　child。




LETTER　CXLVI

GREENWICH；　June　10；　O。　S。　　1751

MY　DEAR　FRIEND：　Your　ladies　were　so　slow　in　giving　their　specific　orders；　that　the　mohairs；　of　which　you　at　last　sent　me　the　patterns；　were　all　sold。　　However；　to　prevent　further　delays　（for　ladies　are　apt　to　be　very　impatient；　when　at　last　they　know　their　own　minds）；　I　have　taken　the　quantities　desired　of　three　mohairs　which　come　near