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the importance of being earnest-第11部分

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CECILY。  Could we not both speak at the same time?



GWENDOLEN。  An excellent idea!  I nearly always speak at the same

time as other people。  Will you take the time from me?



CECILY。  Certainly。  'GWENDOLEN beats time with uplifted finger。'



GWENDOLEN and CECILY 'Speaking together。'  Your Christian names are

still an insuperable barrier。  That is all!



JACK and ALGERNON  'Speaking together。'  Our Christian names!  Is

that all?  But we are going to be christened this afternoon。



GWENDOLEN。  'To JACK。'  For my sake you are prepared to do this

terrible thing?



JACK。  I am。



CECILY。  'To ALGERNON。'  To please me you are ready to face this

fearful ordeal?



ALGERNON。  I am!



GWENDOLEN。  How absurd to talk of the equality of the sexes!  Where

questions of self…sacrifice are concerned; men are infinitely

beyond us。



JACK。  We are。  'Clasps hands with ALGERNON。'



CECILY。  They have moments of physical courage of which we women

know absolutely nothing。



GWENDOLEN。  'To JACK。'  Darling!



ALGERNON。  'To CECILY。'  Darling!  'They fall into each other's

arms。'



'Enter MERRIMAN。  When he enters he coughs loudly; seeing the

situation。'



MERRIMAN。  Ahem!  Ahem!  Lady Bracknell!



JACK。  Good heavens!



'Enter LADY BRACKNELL。  The couples separate in alarm。  Exit

MERRIMAN。'



LADY BRACKNELL。  Gwendolen!  What does this mean?



GWENDOLEN。  Merely that I am engaged to be married to Mr。 Worthing;

mamma。



LADY BRACKNELL。  Come here。  Sit down。  Sit down immediately。

Hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young; of

physical weakness in the old。  'Turns to JACK。'  Apprised; sir; of

my daughter's sudden flight by her trusty maid; whose confidence I

purchased by means of a small coin; I followed her at once by a

luggage train。  Her unhappy father is; I am glad to say; under the

impression that she is attending a more than usually lengthy

lecture by the University Extension Scheme on the Influence of a

permanent income on Thought。  I do not propose to undeceive him。

Indeed I have never undeceived him on any question。  I would

consider it wrong。  But of course; you will clearly understand that

all communication between yourself and my daughter must cease

immediately from this moment。  On this point; as indeed on all

points; I am firm。



JACK。  I am engaged to be married to Gwendolen Lady Bracknell!



LADY BRACKNELL。  You are nothing of the kind; sir。  And now; as

regards Algernon! 。 。 。 Algernon!



ALGERNON。  Yes; Aunt Augusta。



LADY BRACKNELL。  May I ask if it is in this house that your invalid

friend Mr。 Bunbury resides?



ALGERNON。  'Stammering。'  Oh!  No!  Bunbury doesn't live here。

Bunbury is somewhere else at present。  In fact; Bunbury is dead;



LADY BRACKNELL。  Dead!  When did Mr。 Bunbury die?  His death must

have been extremely sudden。



ALGERNON。  'Airily。'  Oh!  I killed Bunbury this afternoon。  I mean

poor Bunbury died this afternoon。



LADY BRACKNELL。  What did he die of?



ALGERNON。  Bunbury?  Oh; he was quite exploded。



LADY BRACKNELL。  Exploded!  Was he the victim of a revolutionary

outrage?  I was not aware that Mr。 Bunbury was interested in social

legislation。  If so; he is well punished for his morbidity。



ALGERNON。  My dear Aunt Augusta; I mean he was found out!  The

doctors found out that Bunbury could not live; that is what I mean

… so Bunbury died。



LADY BRACKNELL。  He seems to have had great confidence in the

opinion of his physicians。  I am glad; however; that he made up his

mind at the last to some definite course of action; and acted under

proper medical advice。  And now that we have finally got rid of

this Mr。 Bunbury; may I ask; Mr。 Worthing; who is that young person

whose hand my nephew Algernon is now holding in what seems to me a

peculiarly unnecessary manner?



JACK。  That lady is Miss Cecily Cardew; my ward。  'LADY BRACKNELL

bows coldly to CECILY。'



ALGERNON。  I am engaged to be married to Cecily; Aunt Augusta。



LADY BRACKNELL。  I beg your pardon?



CECILY。  Mr。 Moncrieff and I are engaged to be married; Lady

Bracknell。



LADY BRACKNELL。  'With a shiver; crossing to the sofa and sitting

down。'  I do not know whether there is anything peculiarly exciting

in the air of this particular part of Hertfordshire; but the number

of engagements that go on seems to me considerably above the proper

average that statistics have laid down for our guidance。  I think

some preliminary inquiry on my part would not be out of place。  Mr。

Worthing; is Miss Cardew at all connected with any of the larger

railway stations in London?  I merely desire information。  Until

yesterday I had no idea that there were any families or persons

whose origin was a Terminus。  'JACK looks perfectly furious; but

restrains himself。'



JACK。  'In a clear; cold voice。'  Miss Cardew is the grand…daughter

of the late Mr。 Thomas Cardew of 149 Belgrave Square; S。W。; Gervase

Park; Dorking; Surrey; and the Sporran; Fifeshire; N。B。



LADY BRACKNELL。  That sounds not unsatisfactory。  Three addresses

always inspire confidence; even in tradesmen。  But what proof have

I of their authenticity?



JACK。  I have carefully preserved the Court Guides of the period。

They are open to your inspection; Lady Bracknell。



LADY BRACKNELL。  'Grimly。'  I have known strange errors in that

publication。



JACK。  Miss Cardew's family solicitors are Messrs。 Markby; Markby;

and Markby。



LADY BRACKNELL。  Markby; Markby; and Markby?  A firm of the very

highest position in their profession。  Indeed I am told that one of

the Mr。 Markby's is occasionally to be seen at dinner parties。  So

far I am satisfied。



JACK。  'Very irritably。'  How extremely kind of you; Lady

Bracknell!  I have also in my possession; you will be pleased to

hear; certificates of Miss Cardew's birth; baptism; whooping cough;

registration; vaccination; confirmation; and the measles; both the

German and the English variety。



LADY BRACKNELL。  Ah! A life crowded with incident; I see; though

perhaps somewhat too exciting for a young girl。  I am not myself in

favour of premature experiences。  'Rises; looks at her watch。'

Gwendolen! the time approaches for our departure。  We have not a

moment to lose。  As a matter of form; Mr。 Worthing; I had better

ask you if Miss Cardew has any little fortune?



JACK。  Oh! about a hundred and thirty thousand pounds in the Funds。

That is all。  Goodbye; Lady Bracknell。  So pleased to have seen

you。



LADY BRACKNELL。  'Sitting down again。'  A moment; Mr。 Worthing。  A

hundred and thirty thousand pounds!  And in the Funds!  Miss Cardew

seems to me a most attractive young lady; now that I look at her。

Few girls of the present day have any really solid qualities; any

of the qualities that last; and improve with time。  We live; I

regret to say; in an age of surfaces。  'To CECILY。'  Come over

here; dear。  'CECILY goes across。'  Pretty child! your dress is

sadly simple; and your hair seems almost as Nature might have left

it。  But we can soon alter all that。  A thoroughly experienced

French maid produces a really marvellous result in a very brief

space of time。  I remember recommending one to young Lady Lancing;

and after three months her own husband did not know her。



JACK。  And after six months nobody knew her。



LADY BRACKNELL。  'Glares at JACK for a few moments。  Then bends;

with a practised smile; to CECILY。'  Kindly turn round; sweet

child。  'CECILY turns completely round。'  No; the side view is what

I want。  'CECILY presents her profile。'  Yes; quite as I expected。

There are distinct social possibilities in your profile。  The two

weak points in our age are its want of principle and its want of

profile。  The chin a little higher; dear。  Style largely depends on

the way the chin is worn。  They are worn very high; just at

present。  Algernon!



ALGERNON。  Yes; Aunt Augusta!



LADY BRACKNELL。  There are distinct social possibilities in Miss

Cardew's profile。



ALGERNON。  Cecily is the sweetest; dearest; prettiest girl in the

whole world。  And I don't care twopence about social possibilities。



LADY BRACKNELL。  Never speak disrespectfully of Society; Algernon。

Only people who can't get into it do that。  'To CECILY。'  Dear

child; of course you know that Algernon has nothing but his debts

to depend upon。  But I do not approve of mercenary marriages。  When

I married Lord Bracknell I had no fortune of any kind。  But I never

dreamed for a moment of allowing that to stand in my way。  Well; I

suppose I must give my consent。



ALGERNON。  Thank you; Aunt Augusta。



LADY BRACKNELL。  Cecily; you may kiss me!



CECILY。  'Kisses her。'  Thank you; Lady Bracknell。



LADY BRACKNELL。  You may also address me as Aunt Augusta for the

future。



CECILY。  Thank you; Aunt Augusta。



LADY BRACKNELL。  The marriage; I think; had better take place quite

soon。



ALGERNON。  Thank you; Aunt Augusta。



CECILY。  Thank you; Aunt Augusta。



LADY BRACKNELL。  To speak frankly; I am not in favour of long

engagements。  They give people the opportunity of finding out each

other's character before marriage; which I think is never

advisable。



JACK。  I beg your pardon for interrupting you; Lady Bracknell; but

this engagement is quite out of the question。  I am Miss Cardew's

guardian; and she cannot marry without my consent until she comes

of age。  That consent I absolutely decline to give。



LADY BRACKNELL。  Upon what grounds may I ask?  Algernon is an

extremely; I may almost say an ostentatiously; eligible young man。

He has nothing; but he looks everything。  What more can one desire?



JACK。  It pains me very much to have to speak frankly to you; Lady

Bracknell; about your nephew; but the fact is that I do not approve

at all of his moral character。  I suspect him of bei
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