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the importance of being earnest-第11部分
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CECILY。 Could we not both speak at the same time?
GWENDOLEN。 An excellent idea! I nearly always speak at the same
time as other people。 Will you take the time from me?
CECILY。 Certainly。 'GWENDOLEN beats time with uplifted finger。'
GWENDOLEN and CECILY 'Speaking together。' Your Christian names are
still an insuperable barrier。 That is all!
JACK and ALGERNON 'Speaking together。' Our Christian names! Is
that all? But we are going to be christened this afternoon。
GWENDOLEN。 'To JACK。' For my sake you are prepared to do this
terrible thing?
JACK。 I am。
CECILY。 'To ALGERNON。' To please me you are ready to face this
fearful ordeal?
ALGERNON。 I am!
GWENDOLEN。 How absurd to talk of the equality of the sexes! Where
questions of self…sacrifice are concerned; men are infinitely
beyond us。
JACK。 We are。 'Clasps hands with ALGERNON。'
CECILY。 They have moments of physical courage of which we women
know absolutely nothing。
GWENDOLEN。 'To JACK。' Darling!
ALGERNON。 'To CECILY。' Darling! 'They fall into each other's
arms。'
'Enter MERRIMAN。 When he enters he coughs loudly; seeing the
situation。'
MERRIMAN。 Ahem! Ahem! Lady Bracknell!
JACK。 Good heavens!
'Enter LADY BRACKNELL。 The couples separate in alarm。 Exit
MERRIMAN。'
LADY BRACKNELL。 Gwendolen! What does this mean?
GWENDOLEN。 Merely that I am engaged to be married to Mr。 Worthing;
mamma。
LADY BRACKNELL。 Come here。 Sit down。 Sit down immediately。
Hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young; of
physical weakness in the old。 'Turns to JACK。' Apprised; sir; of
my daughter's sudden flight by her trusty maid; whose confidence I
purchased by means of a small coin; I followed her at once by a
luggage train。 Her unhappy father is; I am glad to say; under the
impression that she is attending a more than usually lengthy
lecture by the University Extension Scheme on the Influence of a
permanent income on Thought。 I do not propose to undeceive him。
Indeed I have never undeceived him on any question。 I would
consider it wrong。 But of course; you will clearly understand that
all communication between yourself and my daughter must cease
immediately from this moment。 On this point; as indeed on all
points; I am firm。
JACK。 I am engaged to be married to Gwendolen Lady Bracknell!
LADY BRACKNELL。 You are nothing of the kind; sir。 And now; as
regards Algernon! 。 。 。 Algernon!
ALGERNON。 Yes; Aunt Augusta。
LADY BRACKNELL。 May I ask if it is in this house that your invalid
friend Mr。 Bunbury resides?
ALGERNON。 'Stammering。' Oh! No! Bunbury doesn't live here。
Bunbury is somewhere else at present。 In fact; Bunbury is dead;
LADY BRACKNELL。 Dead! When did Mr。 Bunbury die? His death must
have been extremely sudden。
ALGERNON。 'Airily。' Oh! I killed Bunbury this afternoon。 I mean
poor Bunbury died this afternoon。
LADY BRACKNELL。 What did he die of?
ALGERNON。 Bunbury? Oh; he was quite exploded。
LADY BRACKNELL。 Exploded! Was he the victim of a revolutionary
outrage? I was not aware that Mr。 Bunbury was interested in social
legislation。 If so; he is well punished for his morbidity。
ALGERNON。 My dear Aunt Augusta; I mean he was found out! The
doctors found out that Bunbury could not live; that is what I mean
… so Bunbury died。
LADY BRACKNELL。 He seems to have had great confidence in the
opinion of his physicians。 I am glad; however; that he made up his
mind at the last to some definite course of action; and acted under
proper medical advice。 And now that we have finally got rid of
this Mr。 Bunbury; may I ask; Mr。 Worthing; who is that young person
whose hand my nephew Algernon is now holding in what seems to me a
peculiarly unnecessary manner?
JACK。 That lady is Miss Cecily Cardew; my ward。 'LADY BRACKNELL
bows coldly to CECILY。'
ALGERNON。 I am engaged to be married to Cecily; Aunt Augusta。
LADY BRACKNELL。 I beg your pardon?
CECILY。 Mr。 Moncrieff and I are engaged to be married; Lady
Bracknell。
LADY BRACKNELL。 'With a shiver; crossing to the sofa and sitting
down。' I do not know whether there is anything peculiarly exciting
in the air of this particular part of Hertfordshire; but the number
of engagements that go on seems to me considerably above the proper
average that statistics have laid down for our guidance。 I think
some preliminary inquiry on my part would not be out of place。 Mr。
Worthing; is Miss Cardew at all connected with any of the larger
railway stations in London? I merely desire information。 Until
yesterday I had no idea that there were any families or persons
whose origin was a Terminus。 'JACK looks perfectly furious; but
restrains himself。'
JACK。 'In a clear; cold voice。' Miss Cardew is the grand…daughter
of the late Mr。 Thomas Cardew of 149 Belgrave Square; S。W。; Gervase
Park; Dorking; Surrey; and the Sporran; Fifeshire; N。B。
LADY BRACKNELL。 That sounds not unsatisfactory。 Three addresses
always inspire confidence; even in tradesmen。 But what proof have
I of their authenticity?
JACK。 I have carefully preserved the Court Guides of the period。
They are open to your inspection; Lady Bracknell。
LADY BRACKNELL。 'Grimly。' I have known strange errors in that
publication。
JACK。 Miss Cardew's family solicitors are Messrs。 Markby; Markby;
and Markby。
LADY BRACKNELL。 Markby; Markby; and Markby? A firm of the very
highest position in their profession。 Indeed I am told that one of
the Mr。 Markby's is occasionally to be seen at dinner parties。 So
far I am satisfied。
JACK。 'Very irritably。' How extremely kind of you; Lady
Bracknell! I have also in my possession; you will be pleased to
hear; certificates of Miss Cardew's birth; baptism; whooping cough;
registration; vaccination; confirmation; and the measles; both the
German and the English variety。
LADY BRACKNELL。 Ah! A life crowded with incident; I see; though
perhaps somewhat too exciting for a young girl。 I am not myself in
favour of premature experiences。 'Rises; looks at her watch。'
Gwendolen! the time approaches for our departure。 We have not a
moment to lose。 As a matter of form; Mr。 Worthing; I had better
ask you if Miss Cardew has any little fortune?
JACK。 Oh! about a hundred and thirty thousand pounds in the Funds。
That is all。 Goodbye; Lady Bracknell。 So pleased to have seen
you。
LADY BRACKNELL。 'Sitting down again。' A moment; Mr。 Worthing。 A
hundred and thirty thousand pounds! And in the Funds! Miss Cardew
seems to me a most attractive young lady; now that I look at her。
Few girls of the present day have any really solid qualities; any
of the qualities that last; and improve with time。 We live; I
regret to say; in an age of surfaces。 'To CECILY。' Come over
here; dear。 'CECILY goes across。' Pretty child! your dress is
sadly simple; and your hair seems almost as Nature might have left
it。 But we can soon alter all that。 A thoroughly experienced
French maid produces a really marvellous result in a very brief
space of time。 I remember recommending one to young Lady Lancing;
and after three months her own husband did not know her。
JACK。 And after six months nobody knew her。
LADY BRACKNELL。 'Glares at JACK for a few moments。 Then bends;
with a practised smile; to CECILY。' Kindly turn round; sweet
child。 'CECILY turns completely round。' No; the side view is what
I want。 'CECILY presents her profile。' Yes; quite as I expected。
There are distinct social possibilities in your profile。 The two
weak points in our age are its want of principle and its want of
profile。 The chin a little higher; dear。 Style largely depends on
the way the chin is worn。 They are worn very high; just at
present。 Algernon!
ALGERNON。 Yes; Aunt Augusta!
LADY BRACKNELL。 There are distinct social possibilities in Miss
Cardew's profile。
ALGERNON。 Cecily is the sweetest; dearest; prettiest girl in the
whole world。 And I don't care twopence about social possibilities。
LADY BRACKNELL。 Never speak disrespectfully of Society; Algernon。
Only people who can't get into it do that。 'To CECILY。' Dear
child; of course you know that Algernon has nothing but his debts
to depend upon。 But I do not approve of mercenary marriages。 When
I married Lord Bracknell I had no fortune of any kind。 But I never
dreamed for a moment of allowing that to stand in my way。 Well; I
suppose I must give my consent。
ALGERNON。 Thank you; Aunt Augusta。
LADY BRACKNELL。 Cecily; you may kiss me!
CECILY。 'Kisses her。' Thank you; Lady Bracknell。
LADY BRACKNELL。 You may also address me as Aunt Augusta for the
future。
CECILY。 Thank you; Aunt Augusta。
LADY BRACKNELL。 The marriage; I think; had better take place quite
soon。
ALGERNON。 Thank you; Aunt Augusta。
CECILY。 Thank you; Aunt Augusta。
LADY BRACKNELL。 To speak frankly; I am not in favour of long
engagements。 They give people the opportunity of finding out each
other's character before marriage; which I think is never
advisable。
JACK。 I beg your pardon for interrupting you; Lady Bracknell; but
this engagement is quite out of the question。 I am Miss Cardew's
guardian; and she cannot marry without my consent until she comes
of age。 That consent I absolutely decline to give。
LADY BRACKNELL。 Upon what grounds may I ask? Algernon is an
extremely; I may almost say an ostentatiously; eligible young man。
He has nothing; but he looks everything。 What more can one desire?
JACK。 It pains me very much to have to speak frankly to you; Lady
Bracknell; about your nephew; but the fact is that I do not approve
at all of his moral character。 I suspect him of bei
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