战争与和平(上)-第102部分

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　at　the　very　edge　of　the　pond。　Prince　Andrey’s　old　body…servant；　Anton；　after　assisting　Pierre　out　of　his　carriage；　said　that　the　prince　was　at　home；　and　conducted　him　into　a　clean　little　lobby。
Pierre　was　struck　by　the　modesty　of　this　little；　clean　house；　after　the　splendid　surroundings　in　which　he　had　last　seen　his　friend　in　Petersburg。
He　went　hurriedly　into　the　little　parlour；　still　unplastered　and　smelling　of　pine　wood；　and　would　have　gone　further；　but　Anton　ran　ahead　on　tip…toe　and　knocked　at　the　door。
“What　is　it？”　he　heard　a　harsh；　unpleasant　voice。
“A　visitor；”　answered　Anton。
“Ask　him　to　wait”；　and　there　was　the　sound　of　a　chair　being　pushed　back。
Pierre　went　with　rapid　steps　to　the　door；　and　came　face　to　face　with　Prince　Andrey；　who　came　out　frowning　and　looking　older。　Pierre　embraced　him；　and　taking　off　his　spectacles；　kissed　him　and　looked　close　at　him。
“Well；　I　didn’t　expect　you；　I　am　glad；”　said　Prince　Andrey。
Pierre　said　nothing；　he　was　looking　in　wonder　at　his　friend；　and　could　not　take　his　eyes　off　him。　He　was　struck　by　the　change　in　Prince　Andrey。　His　words　were　warm；　there　was　a　smile　on　the　lips　and　the　face；　but　there　was　a　lustreless；　dead　look　in　his　eyes；　into　which；　in　spite　of　his　evident　desire　to　seem　glad；　Prince　Andrey　could　not　throw　a　gleam　of　happiness。　It　was　not　only　that　his　friend　was　thinner；　paler；　more　manly　looking；　but　the　look　in　his　eyes　and　the　line　on　his　brow；　that　expressed　prolonged　concentration　on　some　one　subject；　struck　Pierre　and　repelled　him　till　he　got　used　to　it。
On　meeting　after　a　long　separation；　the　conversation；　as　is　always　the　case；　did　not　for　a　long　while　rest　on　one　subject。　They　asked　questions　and　gave　brief　replies　about　things　of　which　they　knew　themselves　they　must　talk　at　length。　At　last　the　conversation　began　gradually　to　revolve　more　slowly　about　the　questions　previously　touched　only　in　passing；　their　life　in　the　past；　their　plans　for　the　future；　Pierre’s　journeys；　and　what　he　had　been　doing；　the　war；　and　so　on。　The　concentrated　and　crushed　look　which　Pierre　had　noticed　in　Prince　Andrey’s　eyes　was　still　more　striking　now　in　the　smile　with　which　he　listened　to　him；　especially　when　he　was　telling　him　with　earnestness　and　delight　of　his　past　or　his　future。　It　was　as　though　Prince　Andrey　would　have　liked　to　take　interest　in　what　he　was　telling　him；　but　could　not。　Pierre　began　to　feel　that　to　express　enthusiasm；　ideals；　and　hopes　of　happiness　and　goodness　was　unseemly　before　Prince　Andrey。　He　felt　ashamed　of　giving　expression　to　all　the　new　ideas　he　had　gained　from　the　masons；　which　had　been　revived　and　strengthened　in　him　by　his　last　tour。　He　restrained　himself；　afraid　of　seeming　na？ve。　At　the　same　time　he　felt　an　irresistible　desire　to　show　his　friend　at　once　that　he　was　now　a　quite　different　Pierre；　better　than　the　one　he　had　known　in　Petersburg。
“I　can’t　tell　you　how　much　I　have　passed　through　during　this　time。　I　shouldn’t　know　my　old　self。”
“Yes；　you　are　very；　very　much　changed　since　those　days；”　said　Prince　Andrey。
“Well；　and　what　of　you？”　asked　Pierre。　“What　are　your　plans？”
“Plans？”　repeated　Prince　Andrey　ironically。　“My　plans？”　he　repeated；　as　though　wondering　what　was　the　meaning　of　such　a　word。　“Why；　you　see；　I　am　building；　I　want　next　year　to　settle　in　here　altogether　…”
Pierre　looked　silently　and　intently　into　the　face　of　Prince　Andrey；　which　had　grown　so　much　older。
“No；　I’m　asking　about　…”　Pierre　began；　but　Prince　Andrey　interrupted　him。
“But　why　talk　about　me　…　talk　to　me；　and　tell　me　about　your　journey；　about　everything　you　have　been　doing　on　your　estates。”
Pierre　began　describing　what　he　had　been　doing　on　his　estates；　trying　as　far　as　he　could　to　disguise　his　share　in　the　improvements　made　on　them。　Prince　Andrey　several　times　put　in　a　few　words　before　Pierre　could　utter　them；　as　though　all　Pierre’s　doings　were　an　old；　familiar　story；　and　he　were　hearing　it　not　only　without　interest；　but　even　as　it　were　a　little　ashamed　of　what　was　told　him。
Pierre　began　to　feel　awkward　and　positively　wretched　in　his　friend’s　company。　He　relapsed　into　silence。
“I　tell　you　what；　my　dear　fellow；”　said　Prince　Andrey；　who　was　unmistakably　dreary　and　ill　at　ease　with　his　visitor；　“I’m　simply　bivouacking　here；　I　only　came　over　to　have　a　look　at　things。　I’m　going　back　again　to　my　sister　to…day。　I　will　introduce　you　to　her。　But　I　think　you　know　her；　though；”　he　added；　obviously　trying　to　provide　entertainment　for　his　guest；　with　whom　he　now　found　nothing　in　common。　“We　will　set　off　after　dinner。　And　now　would　you　care　to　see　my　place？”　They　went　out　and　walked　about　till　dinner　time；　talking　of　political　news　and　common　acquaintances；　like　people　not　very　intimate。　The　only　thing　of　which　Prince　Andrey　now　spoke　with　some　eagerness　and　interest　was　the　new　buildings　and　homestead　he　was　building；　but　even　in　the　middle　of　a　conversation　on　this　subject；　on　the　scaffolding；　when　Prince　Andrey　was　describing　to　Pierre　the　plan　of　the　house；　he　suddenly　stopped。　“There’s　nothing　interesting　in　that；　though；　let　us　go　in　to　dinner　and　set　off。”
At　dinner　the　conversation　fell　on　Pierre’s　marriage。
“I　was　very　much　surprised　when　I　heard　of　it；”　said　Prince　Andrey。
Pierre　blushed　as　he　always　did　at　any　reference　to　his　marriage；　and　said　hurriedly：　“I’ll　tell　you　one　day　how　it　all　happened。　But　you　know　that　it’s　all　over　and　for　ever。”
“For　ever？”　said　Prince　Andrey；　“nothing’s　for　ever。”
“But　do　you　know　how　it　all　ended？　Did　you　hear　of　the　duel？”
“Yes；　you　had　to　go　through　that　too！”
“The　one　thing　for　which　I　thank　God　is　that　I　didn’t　kill　that　man；”　said　Pierre。
“Why　so？”　said　Prince　Andrey。　“To　kill　a　vicious　dog　is　a　very　good　thing　to　do；　really。”
“No；　to　kill　a　man　is　bad；　wrong　…”
“Why　is　it　wrong？”　repeated　Prince　Andrey；　“what’s　right　and　wrong　is　a　question　it　has　not　been　given　to　men　to　decide。　Men　are　for　ever　in　error；　and　always　will　be　in　error；　and　in　nothing　more　than　in　what　they　regard　as　right　and　wrong。”
“What　does　harm　to　another　man　is　wrong；”　said　Pierre；　feeling　with　pleasure　that　for　the　first　time　since　his　arrival　Prince　Andrey　was　roused　and　was　beginning　to　speak　and　eager　to　give　expression　to　what　had　made　him　what　he　now　was。
“And　who　has　told　you　what　is　harm　to　another　man？”　he　asked。
“Harm？　harm？”　said　Pierre；　“we　all　know　what　harms　ourselves。”
“Yes；　we　know　that；　but　it’s　not　the　same　harm　we　know　about　for　ourselves　that　we　do　to　another　man；”　said　Prince　Andrey；　growing　more　and　more　eager；　and　evidently　anxious　to　express　to　Pierre　his　new　view　of　things。　He　spoke　in　French。　“I　only　know　two　very　real　ills　in　life；　remorse　and　sickness。　There　is　no　good　except　the　absence　of　those　ills。　To　live　for　myself　so　as　to　avoid　these　two　evils：　that’s　the　sum　of　my　wisdom　now。”
“And　love　for　your　neighbour；　and　self…sacrifice？”　began　Pierre。　“No；　I　can’t　agree　with　you！　To　live　with　the　sole　object　of　avoiding　doing　evil；　so　as　not　to　be　remorseful；　that’s　very　little。　I　used　to　live　so；　I　used　to　live　for　myself；　and　I　spoilt　my　life。　And　only　now；　when　I’m　living；　at　least　trying　to　live”　（modesty　impelled　Pierre　to　correct　himself）　“for　others；　only　now　I　have　learnt　to　know　all　the　happiness　of　life。　No；　I　don’t　agree　with　you；　and　indeed；　you　don’t　believe　what　you’re　saying　yourself。”
Prince　Andrey　looked　at　Pierre　without　speaking；　and　smiled　ironically。　“Well；　you’ll　see　my　sister　Marie。　You　will　get　on　with　her；”　said　he。　“Perhaps　you　are　right　for　yourself；”　he　added；　after　a　brief　pause；　“but　every　one　lives　in　his　own　way；　you　used　to　live　for　yourself；　and　you　say　that　by　doing　so　you　almost　spoiled　your　life；　and　have　only　known　happiness　since　you　began　to　live　for　others。　And　my　experience　has　been　the　reverse。　I　used　to　live　for　glory。　（And　what　is　glory？　The　same　love　for　others；　the　desire　to　do　something　for　them；　the　desire　of　their　praise。）　In　that　way　I　lived　for　others；　and　not　almost；　but　quite　spoilt　my　life。　And　I　have　become　more　peaceful　since　I　live　only　for　myself。”
“But　how　are　you　living　only　for　yourself？”　Pierre　asked；　getting　hot。　“What　of　your　son；　your　sister；　your　father？”
“Yes；　but　that’s　all　the　same　as　myself；　they　are　not　others；”　said　Prince　Andrey；　“but　others；　one’s　neighbours；　as　you　and　Marie　call　them；　they　are　the　great　source　of　error　and　evil。　One’s　neighbours　are　those—your　Kiev　peasants—whom　one　wants　to　do　good　to。”
And　he　looked　at　Pierre　with　a　glance　of　ironical　challenge。　He　unmistakably　meant　to　draw　him　on。
“You　are　joking；”　said　Pierre；　getting　more　and　more　earnest。　“What　error　and　evil　can　there　be　in　my　wishing　（I　have　done　very　little　and　done　it　very　badly）；　but　still　wishing　to　do　good；　and　doing　indeed　something　any　way？　Where　can　be　the　harm　if　unhappy　people；　our　peasants；　people　just　like　ourselves；　growing　up　and　dying　with　no　other　idea　of　God　and　the　truth；　but　a　senseless　prayer　and　ceremony；　if　they　are　instructed　in　the　consoling　doctrines　of　a　future　life；　of　retribution；　and　recompense　and　consolation？　What　harm　and　error　can　there　be　in　my　giving　them　doctors；　and　a　hospital；　and　a　refuge　for　the　aged；　when　men　are　dying　of　disease　without　help；　and　it　is　so　easy　to　give　them　material　aid？　And　isn’t　there　palpable；　incontestable　good；　when　the　peasants　and　the　women　with　young　children　have　no　rest　day　or　night；　and　I　give　them　leisure　and　rest？　…”　said　Pierre；　talking　hurriedly　and　lisping。　“And　I　have　done　that；　badly　it’s　true；　and　too　little　of　it；　but　I　have　done　something　towards　it；　and　you’ll　not　only　fail　to　shake　my　conviction　that　I　have　done　well；　you’ll　not　even　shake　my　conviction　that　you　don’t　believe　that　yourself。　And　the　great　thing；”　Pierre　continued；　“is　that　I　know　this　and　know　it　for　a　certainty—that　the　enjoyment　of　doing　this　good　is　the　only　real　happiness　in　life。”
“Oh；　if　you　put　the　question　like　that；　it’s　a　different　matter；”　said　Prince　Andrey。　“I’m　building　a　house　and　laying　out　a　garden；　while　you　are　building　hospitals。　Either　occupation　may　serve　to　pass　the　time。　But　as　to　what’s　right　and　what’s　good—leave　that　to　one　who　knows　all　to　judge；