苔斯-第14部分

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with　his　plan，and　five　days　later　left　the　country　for　Brazil．

And　so　the　months　passed．Tess　found　occasional　dairy　work　for　the　spring　and　summer．She　sent　all　Angel's　money　to　her　family，who　as　usual　had　many　expenses　and　hardly　any　income．She　was　too　proud　to　ask　Angel's　family　for　more　money．That　winter　she　went　to　work　at　another　farm，where　Marian　was　working．Here　the　earth　was　poor，and　the　work　was　difficult．But　Tess　did　not　mind　the　hard　work　in　the　fields．As　she　and　Marian　dug　out　the　vegetables　in　the　pouring　rain，they　talked　of　Talbothays　and　of　the　sunny　green　fields　and　of　Angel　Clare．Tess　did　not　tell　Marian　everything，so　Marian　could　not　understand　why　the　couple　were　apart．

They　wrote　to　Izz，asking　her　to　join　them　if　she　had　no　other　work．It　was　the　coldest　winter　for　years，but　Tess　and　Marian　had　to　go　on　working　in　the　snow．Tess　realized　that　the　farmer　was　the　same　Trantridge　man　who　had　recognized　her　in　the　market　town，and　had　been　knocked　down　by　Angel．He　made　her　work　twice　as　hard　as　the　others．

When　Izz　came，Tess　saw　her　whispering　to　Marian．Tess　had　a　feeling　it　was　important．‘Is　it　about　my　husband？’she　asked　Marian　later．

‘Well　yes，Izz　said　I　shouldn't　tell．But　he　asked　her　to　run　away　to　Brazil　with　him！’

Tess's　face　went　as　white　as　the　snow　on　the　ground．

‘What　happened？’

‘He　changed　his　mind．But　he　was　going　to　take　her！’

Tess　burst　out　crying．‘I　must　write　to　him！It's　my　fault！I　shouldn't　have　left　it　to　him！He　said　I　could　write　to　him！I've　been　neglecting　him！’

But　in　the　evening，in　her　room，she　could　not　finish　her　letter　to　him．She　looked　at　her　wedding　ring，which　she　wore　round　her　neck　in　the　day，and　kept　on　her　finger　all　night．What　kind　of　husband　would　ask　Izz　to　go　to　Brazil　with　him　so　soon　after　parting　from　his　wife？

But　this　new　information　made　her　think　again　of　visiting　Angel's　family　in　Emminster．She　wanted　to　know　why　he　had　not　written　to　her．She　could　meet　his　parents，who　would　surely　be　kind　to　her　in　her　loneliness．So　she　decided　to　walk　there　from　the　farm　at　Flintcomb－Ash　on　a　Sunday，　her　only　free　day．It　was　fifteen　miles　each　way．She　dressed　in　her　best，encouraged　by　Marian　and　Izz，who　sent　her　on　her　way　at　four　o’clock　in　the　morning．The　girls　sincerely　loved　Tess　and　wished　for　her　happiness．It　was　a　year　since　her　wedding，and　on　that　bright　cold　morning　her　unspoken　hope　was　to　win　over　her　husband's　family　and　so　persuade　him　back　to　her．

Although　she　started　cheerfully，she　began　to　lose　her　courage　as　she　approached　Emminster．The　church　looked　forbidding．Perhaps　the　rather　strict　parson　would　not　approve　of　her　travelling　so　far　on　a　Sunday．But　she　had　to　go　on．She　took　off　her　thick　walking　boots　and　hid　them　behind　a　tree，changing　into　her　pretty　shoes．She　would　collect　the　boots　on　the　way　out　of　town．

She　took　a　deep　breath　and　rang　the　bell　at　the　parson's　house．Nobody　answered．She　tried　again．Silence．It　was　almost　with　relief　that　she　turned　and　walked　away．Then　she　suddenly　remembered　that　they　must　all　be　at　church．So　she　waited　in　a　quiet　part　of　the　street　until　people　began　to　stream　out　of　church．She　immediately　recognized　Angel's　brothers　and　even　overheard　some　of　their　conversation．

‘Poor　Angel！’one　of　them　said．‘There's　that　nice　girl，Mercy　Chant．Why　on　earth　didn't　he　marry　her　instead　of　rushing　into　marriage　with　a　dairymaid？’

‘It's　certainly　very　strange．But　his　ideas　have　always　been　most　odd．’

They　joined　Mercy　Chant　as　she　came　out　of　church，and　walked　together　along　the　road　Tess　had　walked　into　Emminster．

‘Look，here's　a　pair　of　old　boots，’said　one　of　the　brothers，noticing　Tess's　boots　behind　the　tree．

‘Excellent　walking　boots，I　see，’said　Miss　Chant．‘How　wicked　to　throw　them　away！Give　them　to　me．I'll　find　a　poor　person　who　would　like　them．’

Tess　walked　quickly　past　them，tears　running　down　her　face．She　continued　walking　as　fast　as　she　could　away　from　Emminster．How　unlucky　that　she　had　met　the　sons　and　not　the　father！Angel's　parents　would　have　taken　poor　lonely　Tess　to　their　hearts　immediately，as　they　did　every　other　lost　soul，without　thought　of　family　or　education　or　wealth．

She　grew　more　and　more　tired　and　depressed　as　she　walked　the　fifteen　miles　back　to　Flintcomb－Ash，where　only　hard　work　awaited　her．But　on　the　way　she　noticed　a　crowd　listening　to　a　preacher　and　she　stopped　for　a　while　to　join　them．The　preacher　was　describing　with　enthusiasm　how　he　had　been　wicked　for　years　and　how　a　certain　parson　had　pointed　it　out　to　him：this　had　gradually　turned　him　from　wickedness．But　Tess　was　more　shocked　by　the　voice　than　the　words．She　moved　round　behind　the　crowd　to　look　at　his　face．As　the　afternoon　sun　shone　full　on　him，　she　recognized　Alec　d’Urberville．

　　
A　Changed　Man

　　

17

　　

This　was　the　first　time　she　had　seen　or　heard　of　d’Urberville　since　she　had　left　Trantridge．And　although　he　stood　there　openly　as　a　preacher，as　a　religious　man，she　still　felt　afraid　of　him．He　had　changed　his　clothes，his　hair，his　moustache　and　his　expression，but　could　she　really　believe　that　he　had　changed　his　most　secret　thoughts　and　beliefs？

As　soon　as　she　recovered　from　her　surprise，she　moved　away　so　that　he　would　not　notice　her．But　he　suddenly　caught　sight　of　her，and　the　effect　on　him　was　electric．His　enthusiasm　faded，his　voice　hesitated，his　lips　trembled，his　eyes　dropped　in　confusion．Tess　walked　rapidly　away　along　the　road．

However，as　she　walked　she　felt　he　must　be　looking　at　her　back　as　she　walked　away．And　now　she　knew　she　could　never　escape　the　past，as　she　had　hoped．Reminders　of　her　past　would　surround　her　until　she　died．As　she　walked　uphill　she　heard　footsteps　behind　her，and，turning，saw　that　it　was　the　one　person　in　the　whole　world　she　did　not　want　to　meet　this　side　of　the　grave．

‘Tess！’he　said．‘I'm　Alec　d’Urberville！’

‘I　see　you　are，’she　said　coldly．They　walked　on　together．

‘You　may　wonder　why　I'm　following　you．Well，I　feel　you　are　the　person　I　would　most　like　to　save　from　hell．So　I　have　come　to　do　that．’

‘Have　you　saved　yourself？’Tess　asked　bitterly．

‘God　has　done　it　all，not　me！I　must　tell　you　how　I　came　to　believe　in　Him．Have　you　ever　heard　of　the　parson　of　Emminster，old　Mr　Clare？A　very　strict，sincere　man．’

‘I　have，’said　Tess．

‘Well，he　came　to　Trantridge　once　and　tried　to　show　me　how　wicked　my　life　was．I　insulted　him　at　the　time．But　later　my　mother　died，and　somehow　I　began　to　think　about　what　old　Mr　Clare　said．Since　then　my　one　desire　has　been　to　help　others　to　understand　God　too…’

‘Don't　go　on！’cried　Tess．‘I　can't　believe　in　such　a　sudden　change！I　almost　hate　you　for　talking　to　me　like　this，　when　you　know　how　you've　ruined　my　life！You　enjoy　yourself　for　a　while　and　then　you　make　sure　of　your　place　in　heaven！’As　she　spoke　she　looked　him　full　in　the　face　with　her　great　beautiful　eyes．

‘Don't　look　at　me　like　that！’said　Alec．‘Your　eyes　remind　me　of—well，women's　faces　have　too　much　power　over　me．Don't　look　at　me！It　might　be　dangerous　for　you！’

Eventually　they　came　to　a　crossroads，where　a　strange　stone　stood．It　was　a　lonely，unfriendly　place，where　people　did　not　like　to　stay　for　long．Alec　stopped　here．

‘I　must　go　to　the　right　here．I'm　preaching　at　six　this　evening．Tell　me，how　has　your　life　been　since　we　last　met？’

Tess　told　him　about　the　baby．Alec　was　shocked．

‘You　should　have　told　me！But　before　we　part，come，put　your　hand　on　this　stone．It　was　once　a　holy　cross．I'm　afraid　of　your　power　over　me．Swear　on　the　cross　that　you　will　never　tempt　me　into　wickedness！’

‘Good　God！How　can　you　ask　such　an　unnecessary　thing！I　don't　want　to　see　you　ever　again！’

‘No，but　swear　it．’

Tess　placed　her　hand　on　the　stone　and　swore．

‘I　shall　pray　for　you，’called　Alec　as　he　walked　away．‘Who　knows，we　may　meet　again！’

Tess　went　on　her　way，feeling　upset，and　soon　met　a　man　on　the　road．He　told　her　that　the　cross　was　not　religious，but　marked　the　place　where　a　criminal　was　put　to　death　and　buried．Trembling　a　little　at　this　information，she　finally　arrived　at　Flintcomb－Ash．

One　day　the　following　week　when　Tess　was　working　in　the　fields　as　usual，Alec　d’Urberville　came　to　see　her．He　explained　to　her　that　he　intended　to　sell　his　land　at　Trantridge　and　go　to　help　poor　people　in　Africa．

‘Will　you　help　me　put　right　the　wicked　thing　I　did　to　you？Will　you　be　my　wife？’

‘Oh　no，sir！’she　cried，horrified．

‘Why　not？’Disappointment　was　visible　in　his　face．It　was　not　only　duty　which　pushed　him　to　make　this　offer，but　also　his　old　passion　for　her．

‘You　know　I　don't　love　you，’answered　Tess．‘In　fact，I　love　somebody　else．’

‘Perhaps　that　is　only　a　passing　feeling…’

‘No！’

‘Yes！Why　not？You　must　tell　me！’

‘Well，then…　I　have　married　him．’

‘Ah！’he　cried　and　looked　hard　at　her．

‘It's　a　secret　here，’she　begged．‘Please　don't　tell　anybody．’

‘Who　is　he？’asked　d’Urberville．‘Where　is　he？Why　isn't　he　here　to　look　after　you？What　sort　of　husband　can　he　be，leaving　you　to　work　like　this？’

‘Don't　ask！’cried　Tess，her　eyes　flashing．

‘Your　eyes！’whispered　Alec．‘I　thought　I　no　longer　felt　anything　for　you，but　when　I　look　into　your　eyes…’He　took　her　hand．

She　pulled　it　quickly　away．

‘Go　now，please，in　the　name　of　your　new　religion，go！Respect　me　and　my　husband！’

‘Don't　worry，I　can　control　myself．I　just　hoped　that　our　marriage　would　take　away　the　bad　in　both　of　us．But　that　plan　is　no　good　now．’He　walked　slowly　away，his　head　bent　in　thought．

The　farmer　approached　at　that　moment　and　was　angry　with　Tess　for　wasting　time　talking　to　a　stranger．Tess　preferred　hard　words　from　this　man　of　stone　to　sweet　ones　from　Alec　d’Urberville．For　a　moment，however，she　imagined　escaping　from　her　present　hard　life　by　marrying　Alec，but　rejected　it　immediately．

At　home　that　night　she　began　a　letter　to　Clare，telling　him　of　her　great　love　for　him．Reading　between　the　lines　he　would　have　seen　her　secret　fear　for　the　future．But　ag