苔斯-第9部分

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‘I　shall　help　her　with　her　reading．　She　will　learn　fast．　She's　full　of　poetry，　real　poetry．　She　lives　what　poets　only　write．And　she　is　a　good　Christian　girl．　I'm　sure　you'll　value　her　for　that．’

His　parents　already　doubted　Angel's　religious　belief，　so　they　were　almost　relieved　to　hear　this　of　his　future　wife．　They　told　him　not　to　act　in　a　hurry，　but　they　would　like　to　see　her．Although　Angel　was　free　to　marry　or　not　as　he　wished，　he　did　not　want　to　hurt　his　parents，　and　he　accepted　their　advice．

As　he　set　off　to　return　to　the　dairy　and　Tess，　his　father　rode　with　him　a　little　way．　Mr　Clare　was　telling　his　son　about　the　new　d’Urberville　family　who　had　taken　the　ancient　name　and　lived　near　Trantridge．　There　was　a　young　man　and　his　blind　mother．　Preaching　in　the　church　there　one　day，　Mr　Clare　had　spoken　out　bravely　against　the　well…known　wickedness　of　young　d’Urberville，　who，　after　this，　had　publicly　insulted　him　when　they　met　later．

Angel　was　angry　with　d’Urberville．Dear　father，you　should　not　let　yourself　be　insulted　like　that！’

‘It　doesn't　matter　to　me．　I　have　a　duty　to　point　out　where　people　go　wrong．　Often　men　have　hit　me，　but　then　at　least　they　haven't　hit　their　families．　And　they　live　to　thank　me，　and　praise　God．’

‘I　hope　this　young　man　does　the　same！’　said　Angel　warmly．‘But　it　doesn't　seem　likely．’

‘We'll　hope　anyway，’said　Mr　Clare．‘Maybe　one　of　my　words　may　grow　like　a　seed　in　his　heart　one　day．’

Angel　could　not　accept　his　father's　narrow　religious　beliefs，but　he　loved　him　for　his　courage．　He　remembered　that　his　father　had　not　once　asked　whether　Tess　had　money　or　not．This　lack　of　interest　in　money　meant　that　all　the　brothers　would　probably　be　poor　for　ever，　but　Angel　still　admired　his　father's　belief　that　money　was　not　important．

When　he　returned　to　the　dairy，in　the　sleepy　afternoon　heat，　nobody　was　awake．　Getting　up　so　early　in　the　morning　meant　the　milkers　really　needed　a　sleep　before　the　afternoon　milking．　It　was　three　o’clock，　time　for　skimming．There　was　a　slight　noise　upstairs，then　Tess　appeared　before　his　eyes．She　did　not　see　him，　and　stretched　one　arm　up　above　her　head．She　yawned　like　a　cat　and　he　saw　the　red　inside　of　her　mouth．　Her　whole　soul　breathed　out　physical　beauty．　Then　her　eyes　flashed　as　she　recognized　him．

‘Oh　Mr　Clar！　How　you　frightened　me—I…’she　said，looking　glad，　shy　and　surprised　at　the　same　time．

Clare　stepped　forward　to　put　his　arms　round　her．

‘Dear，　darling　Tessy！’he　whispered，　putting　his　face　to　her　warm　cheek．‘Don't　call　me　Mr　Clare　any　more！　I've　hurried　back　because　of　you！’

They　stood　holding　each　other，　the　sun　warming　them　through　the　window　He　looked　deep　into　her　eyes　of　blue　and　black　and　grey．　She　looked　at　him　as　Eve　must　have　looked　at　Adam．

‘I　must　go　skimming，’she　said　Together　they　went　to　the　milk…house．

Perhaps　the　Talbothays　milk　was　not　very　well　skimmed　that　afternoon．　Tess　was　in　a　dream　as　she　skimmed．The　heat　of　his　love　made　her　feel　like　a　plant　under　a　burning　sun．

‘Theres’　s　something　very　practical　that　I　want　to　ask　you，’he　said　gently．‘I　shall　sonn　want　to　marry．　Being　a　farmer，　I　need　a　wife　who　knows　all　about　farms．　Will　you　be　that　woman，　Tessy？’

She　looked　quite　worried．She　had　accepted　that　she　could　not　help　loving　him，　but　she　had　not　expected　this　result．With　bitter　pain　she　replied　as　she　had　promised　herself　she　would．

‘Oh　Mr　Clare—I　cannot　be　your　wife…　I　cannot　be！’The　sound　of　these　words　seemed　to　break　her　very　heart．

‘But　Tess！’he　said，　amazed　at　her　answer　and　holding　her　still　closer．‘Surely　you　love　me？’

‘Oh　yes，　yes！　And　I　would　rather　be　yours　than　anybody's　in　the　whole　world！　But　I　cannot　marry　you！’cried　the　sweet　and　honest　voice　miserably．

‘Tess，　have，　you　agreed　to　marry　someone　else？’

‘No，　no！’

‘Then　why　do　you　refuse　me？’

‘Your　father　is　a　parson，　and　your　mother　will　want　you　to　marry　a　lady，’said　poor　Tess，　desperately　trying　to　find　an　excuse．

‘No，　certainly　not，　that's　why　I　went　home，　to　talk　to　them　both．’

‘I　feel　I　cannot—never，　never！’

‘Is　it　too　sudden，　my　pretty？　I'll　give　you　time．　I　won't　mention　it　again　for　a　while．’

She　tried　to　skim　again，　but　her　tears　fell　so　that　she　could　not　do　it．　She　could　never　explain　her　sadness，　even　to　this　her　best　friend．　Clare　began　to　talk　more　generally，　to　calm　her．He　talked　about　his　father's　religious　views，　and　the　good　work　he　did．　He　mentioned　the　insults　his　father　had　received　from　a　young　man　near　Trantridge　who　had　a　blind　mother．

Tess　now　looked　hard　and　worn，and　her　mouth　was　tragic．Clare　did　not　notice．　They　finished　skimming　and　he　said　to　her　softly：

‘And　my　question，　Tessy？’

‘Oh　no—no！’　she　replied，　hopelessly，　thinking　bitterly　of　Alec　d’Urberville．‘　It　can't　be！’

She　went　out　with　the　other　milkmaids　to　the　cows　in　the　fields．　Angel　watched　her　moving　freely　in　the　air　like　a　swimmer　on　a　wave．He　knew　he　was　right　to　choose　a　wife　from　nature，　not　from　civilization．

　　



　


13

　　

Clare　was　not　depressed　by　Tess's　refusal，　feeling　sure　that　she　would　finally　accept　him．　A　few　days　later　he　asked　her　again．

‘Tess，　why　did　you　say　“no”　so　positively？’

‘I'm　not　good　enough．’

‘Not　enough　of　a　fine　lady？’

‘Yes．　Your　family　would　not　respect　me．’

‘You　know，　you're　wrong．My　father　and　mother　would．And　I　don't　care　about　my　brothers．’He　held　her　to　stop　her　slipping　away．‘You　didn't　mean　it，　did　you？　I　can't　work　or　read　or　play　or　anything　until　I　know　that　you　will　some　day　be　mine！　Say　you　will，Tess！’

She　could　only　shake　her　head　and　look　away．

‘Then　I　ought　not　to　hold　you，　to　talk　to　you　like　this？Why，Tess？’

‘It　is　for　your　good，my　dearest！　I　can't　give　myself　the　great　happiness　of　promising　to　be　yours—because　I　am　sure　I　ought　not　to！’

‘But　you　will　make　me　happy！’

‘Ah，　you　think　so，　but　you　don't　know！’

After　a　struggle　like　this，　Tess　would　go　to　the　fields　or　her　room　to　cry．　Her　heart　was　so　strongly　on　the　side　of　his　that　she　feared　she　might　give　way．

‘Why　doesn't　somebody　tell　him　all　about　me？’she　thought．‘It　was　only　forty　miles　away．　Somebody　must　know！’But　nobody　knew　and　nobody　told　him．

Tess's　life　now　had　two　parts，　positive　pleasure　and　positive　pain．　Every　time　she　and　Angel　were　alone　together　he　would　ask　her　again，　and　she　would　refuse．　She　was　keeping　her　promise　to　herself，　but　in　her　heart　of　hearts　Tess　knew　that　eventually　she　would　accept　him．Love　and　nature　both　advised　her　to　have　him　without　thinking　of　complications，　to　delight　in　passion　without　considering　future　pain．

‘I　know　I　shall　say　yes—I　can't　help　it！’She　cried　to　herself　in　bed　one　night．‘But　it　may　kill　him　when　he　knows！　Oh，　oh！’

‘I've　got　some　news　for　you　all，　said　Dairyman　Crick　as　they　sat　down　to　breakfast　one　Sunday　morning．‘It's　that　Jack　Dollop　again．’

‘The　lover　in　the　butter－churn？’　said　Angel　Clare，looking　up　from　his　newspaper．‘And　has　he　married　the　young　milkmaid，　as　he　promised？’

‘Not　he，　sir，’replied　the　dairyman．‘He's　married　an　older　woman　who　had　￡　50　a　year．　They　married　in　a　great　hurry　and　then　she　told　him　that　by　marrying　she'd　lost　her￡50　a　year！　He　only　married　her　for　her　money　too．So　now　they're　always　quarrelling．’

‘She　ought　to　have　told　him　just　before　they　went　to　church，’　said　Marian．

‘She　ought　to　have　seen　he　only　wanted　her　money，　and　refused　him，’said　Retty．

‘What　do　you　say，　my　dear？　the　dairyman　asked　Tess．

‘I　think　she　ought…　to　have　told　him　the　truth—or　else　refused　him…　I　don't　know，’　replied　Tess，　who　could　not　swallow　her　food．　She　soon　left　the　table　and　went　into　the　fields，　feeling　the　pain　in　the　story．　She　had　continued　to　refuse　Angel's　offers　of　marriage，　but　from　that　Sunday　he　changed　his　approach　towards　her．He　looked　for　her　and　came　to　talk　to　her　at　every　possible　moment，　at　milking，　butter…making，　cheese…making，　among　chickens　and　among　pigs．She　knew　she　could　not　resist　much　longer．　She　loved　him　so　passionately，　and　he　was　so　like　a　god　in　her　eyes．　He　treated　her　as　if　he　would　love　and　defend　her　under　any　circumstances．　This　began　to　make　her　feel　less　afraid　about　agreeing　to　marry　him，　and　telling　him　the　truth　about　herself．

The　days　were　shorter　now，　and　in　the　mornings　the　dairy　worked　by　candlelight．One　morning　between　three　and　four　she　ran　up　to　Clare's　room　to　wake　him，　before　waking　the　others．　Having　dressed，　she　was　about　to　go　downstairs　when　Angel　came　out　of　his　room　and　stopped　her．

‘Now，　miss，’he　said　firmly．‘You　must　give　me　an　answer　or　I　shall　have　to　leave　the　house．　You　aren't　safe　with　me．　I　saw　you　just　now　in　your　nightdress．　Well？　Is　it　yes　at　last？’

‘I　really　will　think　seriously　about　it，Mr　Clare．’

‘Call　me　Angel　then，　and　not　Mr　Clare．　Why　not　Angel　dearest？’

‘It　would　mean　I　agree，　wouldn't　it？’

‘It　would　only　mean　you　love　me，　and　you　did　admit　that　long　ago．’

‘Very　well　then，　Angel　dearest，if　I　must，’she　murmured，smiling．　Clare　could　not　resist　kissing　her　warm　cheek．

After　milking　and　skimming，　all　the　dairy　people　went　outside．　Tess　generously　tried　for　the　last　time　to　interest　Angel　in　the　other　dairymaids．

‘There's　more　in　those　three　than　you　think，　she　said．

‘Any　of　them　would　make　you　a　better　wife　than　I　could．　And　perhaps　they　love　you　as　much　as　I　do—almost．’

‘Oh　Tessy！’　he　cried　impatiently．　She　was　so　relieved　to　hear　this　that　she　could　not　make　any　further　self…sacrifice．She　knew　that　this　day　would　decide　it．

In　the　late　afternoon　Angel　Clare　offered　to　drive　the　waggon　with　its　buckets　of　milk　to　the　station．　He　persuaded　Tess　to　go　with　him．

At　first　there　was　silence　as　they　drove　along　the　quiet　road，simply　enjoying　being　close　to　each　other．Soon　drops　of　rain　started　falling．Tess's　cheeks　were　pink　and　her　long　hair　was　wet．She　had　no　jacket，　and　crept　cl