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时尚女魔头 穿普拉达的恶魔 英文原版-第82部分

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  “Hey; it’s me; I’m right here。 What’s up? I’m kind of in a 
  hurry; so 。 。 。” I thought about asking her directly if she’d 
  called to fire me but decided to give her a break for once。 I 
  braced myself for the verbal tirade she was sure to let loose 
  on me—how could you let her down; me down;Runway down; the 
  wide world of fashion; blah; blah; blah—but it never came。

  “Oh yeah; of course。 So; I just spoke to Miranda 。 。 。” Her 
  voice trailed off as though she was hoping I’d continue and 
  explain that the whole thing had been a big mistake and not to 
  worry because I’d managed to fix it in the last four minutes。

  “And you heard what happened; I’m assuming?”

  “Um; yeah! Andy; what’s going on?”

  “I should probably be asking you that; right?”

  There was silence。

  “Listen; Em; I have a feeling that you called to fire me。 It’s 
  OK if you did; I know it’s not your decision。 So; did she tell 
  you to call and get rid of me?” Even though I felt lighter 
  than I had in many months; I still found myself holding my 
  breath; wondering if maybe; through some dumb stroke of luck 
  or misfortune; Miranda had respected my telling her to fuck 
  off instead of been appalled by it。

  “Yes。 She asked me to let you know that you have been 
  terminated; effective immediately; and she would like you to 
  be checked out of the Ritz before she returns from the show。” 
  She said this softly and with a trace of regret。 Perhaps it 
  was for the many hours and days and weeks she was now facing 
  of finding and training someone all over again; but there 
  sounded like there might be something even more behind it。

  “You’re going to miss me; aren’t you; Em? Go on; say it。 It’s 
  OK; I won’t tell anyone。 As far as I’m concerned; this 
  conversation never happened。 You don’t want me to go; do you?”

  Miracle of miracles; she laughed。 “What did you say to her? 
  She just kept repeating that you were crass and unlady…like。 I 
  couldn’t get anything more specific out of her than that。”

  “Oh; that’s probably because I told her to fuck herself。”

  “You did not!”

  “You’re calling to fire me。 I assure you; I did。”

  “Oh my god。”

  “Yeah; well; I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t the single most 
  satisfying moment of my pathetic life。 Of course; I have now 
  been fired by the most powerful woman in publishing。 Not only 
  do I not have a way to pay off my nearly maxed…out MasterCard; 
  but future jobs in magazines are looking rather dismal。 Maybe 
  I should try to work for one of her enemies? They’d be happy 
  to hire me; right?”

  “Sure。 Send your résumé over to Anna Wintour—they’ve never 
  liked each other very much。”

  “Hmm。 Something to think about。 Listen; Em; no hard feelings; 
  OK?” We both knew that we had absolutely; positively not a 
  single thing in mon but Miranda Priestly; but as long as we 
  were getting on so famously; I figured I’d play along。

  “Sure; of course;” she lied awkwardly; knowing full well that 
  I was about to enter into the upper stratosphere of social 
  pariah…dom。 The chances of Emily admitting she had so much as 
  known me from this day forward were nonexistent; but that was 
  OK。 Maybe in ten years when she was sitting front and center 
  at the Michael Kors show and I was still shopping at Filene’s 
  and dining at Benihana; we’d laugh about the whole thing。 But 
  probably not。

  “Well; I’d love to chat; but I’m kind of screwed up right now; 
  not sure what to do next。 I’ve got to figure out a way to get 
  Home as soon as possible。 Do you think I can still use my 
  return ticket? She can’t fire me and leave me stranded in a 
  foreign country; can she?”

  “Well of course she would be justified in doing so; Andrea;” 
  she said。 Ah…hah! One last zinger。 It was forting to know 
  that things never really changed。 “After all; it’s really you 
  who are deserting your job—you forced her to fire you。 But no; 
  I don’t think she’s a vengeful kind of person。 Just charge the 
  change fee and I’ll figure out a way to put it through。”

  “Thanks; Em。 I appreciate it。 And good luck to you; too。 
  You’re going to make a fantastic fashion editor someday。”

  “Really? You think so?” she asked eagerly; happily。 Why my 
  opinion as the biggest fashion loser ever to hit the scene was 
  at all relevant; I didn’t know; but she sounded very; very 
  pleased。

  “Definitely。 Not a doubt in my mind。”

  Christian called the moment I hung up with Emily。 He had; 
  unsurprisingly; already heard what happened。 Unbelievable。 But 
  the pleasure he took from hearing the sordid details; bined 
  with all sorts of promises and invitations he offered up; made 
  me feel sick again。 I told him as calmly as possible that I 
  had a lot to deal with right now; to please stop calling in 
  the meantime; that I’d get in touch if and when I felt like 
  it。

  Since they miraculously didn’t yet know that I’d flunked out 
  of my job; Monsieur Renaud and entourage fell all over 
  themselves on hearing that an emergency at Home demanded I 
  return immediately。 It took only a half hour for a small army 
  of hotel staff to book me on the next flight to New York; pack 
  my bags; and tuck me into the backseat of a limo stocked with 
  a full bar bound for Charles de Gaulle。 The driver was chatty; 
  but I didn’t really respond: I wanted to enjoy my last moments 
  as the lowest…paid but most highly perked assistant in the 
  free world。 I poured myself one final flute of perfectly dry 
  champagne and took a long; slow; luxurious sip。 It had taken 
  eleven months; forty…four weeks; and some 3;080 hours of work 
  to figure out—once and for all—that morphing into Miranda 
  Priestly’s mirror image was probably not such a good thing。

  Instead of a uniformed driver with a sign waiting for me when 
  I exited customs; I found my parents; looking immensely 
  pleased to see me。 We hugged; and after they got over the 
  initial shock of what I was wearing (skintight; very faded D&G 
  jeans with spike…heeled pumps and a pletely sheer 
  shirt—hey; it was listed in category; miscellaneous; 
  subcategory; to and from airport; and it was by far the most 
  plane…appropriate thing they’d packed for me); they gave me 
  very good news: Lily was awake and alert。 We went straight to 
  the hospital; where Lily herself even managed to give me 
  attitude about my outfit as soon as I walked in。

  Of course; there was the legal problem for her to contend 
  with; she had; after all; been speeding the wrong way down a 
  one…way street in a drunken stupor。 But since no one else was 
  seriously hurt; the judge had shown tremendous leniency and; 
  although she’d always have a DWI on her record; she’d been 
  sentenced to only mandatory alcohol counseling and what seemed 
  like three decades’ worth of munity service。 We hadn’t 
  talked a lot about it—she still wasn’t cool with admitting out 
  loud that she had a problem—but I’d driven her to her first 
  group session in the East Village and she’d admitted that it 
  wasn’t “too touchy…feely” when she came out。 “Freakin’ 
  annoying” was how she put it; but when I raised my eyebrows 
  and gave her a specialty withering look—à la Emily—she 
  conceded that there were some cute guys there; and it wouldn’t 
  kill her to date someone sober for once。 Fair enough。 My 
  parents had convinced her to e clean to the dean at 
  Columbia; which sounded like a nightmare at the time but ended 
  up being a good move。 He not only agreed to let Lily withdraw 
  without failing in the middle of the semester; but signed the 
  approval for the bursar’s office saying that she could just 
  reapply for her tuition next spring。

  Lily’s life and our friendship seemed to be back on track。 Not 
  so with Alex。 He’d been sitting by her side at the hospital 
  when we arrived; and the minute I saw him I found myself 
  wishing my parents hadn’t diplomatically decided to wait in 
  the cafeteria。 There was an awkward hello and a lot of fussing 
  over Lily; but when he’d shrugged on his jacket a half hour 
  later and waved good…bye; we hadn’t said a real word to each 
  other。 I called him when I got Home; but he let it go to voice 
  mail。 I called a few times more and hung up; stalker…style; 
  and tried one last time before I went to bed。 He answered but 
  sounded wary。

  “Hi!” I said; trying to sound adorable and well adjusted。

  “Hey。” He clearly wasn’t into my adorableness。

  “Listen; I know she’s your friend; too; and that you would’ve 
  done that for anyone; but I can’t thank you enough for 
  everything you did for Lily。 Tracking me down; helping my 
  parents; sitting with her for hours on end。 Really。”

  “No problem。 It’s what anyone would do when someone they know 
  is hurt。 No big deal。” Implied in this; of course; was that 
  anyone would do it except someone who happens to be 
  phenomenally self…centered with whacked…out priorities; like 
  yours truly。

  “Alex; please; can we just talk like—”

  “No。 We really can’t talk about anything right now。 I’ve been 
  around for the last year waiting to talk to you—begging; 
  sometimes—and you haven’t been all that interested。 Somewhere 
  in that year; I lost the Andy I fell in love with。 I’m not 
  sure how; I’m not exactly sure when it happened; but you are 
  definitely not the same person you were before this job。 My 
  Andy would have never even entertained the idea of choosing a 
  fashion show or a party or whatever over being there for a 
  friend who really; really needed her。 Like;really needed her。 
  Now; I’m glad you decided to e Home—that you k
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