安妮日记英文版_安妮·弗兰克-第16部分

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eyve　inflicted　on　me。　i　couldnt　bear　their　sympathy　or　their　good…humored　derision。　it　would　only　make　me　want　to　scream　even　more。

everyone　thinks　im　showing　off　when　i　talk；　ridicu　lous　when　im　silent；　insolent　when　i　answer；　cunning　when　i　have　a　good　idea；　lazy　when　im　tired；　selfish　when　i　eat　one　bite　more　than　i　should；　stupid；　cowardly；　calculating；　etc。；　etc。　all　day　long　i　hear　nothing　but　what　an　exasperating　child　i　am；　and　although　i　laugh　it　off　and　pretend　not　to　mind；　i　do　mind。　i　wish　i　could　ask　god　to　give　me　another　personality；　one　that　doesnt　antagonize　everyone。

but　thats　impossible。　im　stuck　with　the　character　i　was　born　with；　and　yet　im　sure　im　not　a　bad　person。　i　do　my　best　to　please　everyone；　more　than　theyd　ever　suspect　in　a　million　years。　when　im　upstairs；　i　try　to　laugh　it　off　because　i　dont　want　them　to　see　my　troubles。

more　than　once；　after　a　series　of　absurd　reproaches；　ive　snapped　at　mother：　〃i　dont　care　what　you　say。　why　dont　you　just　wash　your　hands　of　me　　im　a　hopeless　case。〃　of　course；　shed　tell　me　not　to　talk　back　and　virtually　ignore　me　for　two　days。

then　suddenly　all　would　be　forgotten　and　shed　treat　me　like　everyone　else。

its　impossible　for　me　to　be　all　smiles　one　day　and　venomous　the　next。　id　rather　choose　the　golden　mean；　which　isnt　so　golden；　and　keep　my　thoughts　to　myself。

perhaps　sometime　ill　treat　the　others　with　the　same　contempt　as　they　treat　me。　oh；　if　only　i　could。

yours；　anne　

銆�ww銆�w銆�。銆�xia銆�oshu銆�otxt銆�m



FEBRUARY；　1943

锛堝皬锛忥紡璇达紡锛弔锛忥紡xt锝�//澶�//鍫傦級
friday；　february　5；　1943

dearest　kitty；

though　its　been　ages　since　ive　written　to　you　about　the　squabbles；　theres　still　no　change。　in　the　begin　ning　mr。　dussel　took　our　soon…forgotten　clashes　very　seriously；　but　now　hes　grown　used　to　them　and　no　longer　tries　to　mediate。

margot　and　peter　arent　exactly　what　youd　call　〃young〃；　theyre　both　so　quiet　and　boring。　next　to　them；　i　stick　out　like　a　sore　thumb；　and　im　always　being　told；　〃margot　and　peter　dont　act　that　way。　why　dont　you　follow　your　sisters　example！〃　i　hate　that。

i　confess　that　i　have　absolutely　no　desire　to　be　like　margot。　shes　too　weak…willed　and　passive　to　suit　me；　she　lets　herself　be　swayed　by　others　and　always　backs　down　under　pressure。　i　want　to　have　more　spunk！　but　i　keep　ideas　like　these　to　myself。

theyd　only　laugh　at　me　if　i　offered　this　in　my　defense。

during　meals　the　air　is　filled　with　tension。　fortunately；　the　outbursts　are　sometimes　held　in　check　by　the　〃soup　eaters；〃　the　people　from　the　office　who　e　up　to　have　a　cup　of　soup　for　lunch。

this　afternoon　mr。　van　daan　again　brought　up　the　fact　that　margot　eats　so　little。　〃i　suppose　you　do　it　to　keep　your　figure；〃　he　added　in　a　mocking　tone。

mother；　who　always　es　to　margots　defense；　said　in　a　loud　voice；　〃i　cant　stand　that　stupid　chatter　of　yours　a　minute　longer。鈥�

mrs。　van　d。　turned　red　as　a　beet。　mr。　van　d。　stared　straight　ahead　and　said　nothing。

still；　we　often　have　a　good　laugh。　not　long　ago　mrs。　van　d。　was　entertaining　us　with　some　bit　of　nonsense　or　another。　she　was　talking　about　the　past；　about　how　well　she　got　along　with　her　father　and　what　a　flirt　she　was。　〃and　you　know；〃　she　continued；　〃my　father　told　me　that　if　a　gentleman　ever　got　fresh；　i　was　to　say；　remem　ber；　sir；　that　im　a　lady；　and　hed　know　what　i　meant。〃　we　split　our　sides　laughing；　as　if　shed　told　us　a　good　joke。

even　peter；　though　hes　usually　quiet；　occasionally　gives　rise　to　hilarity。　he　has　the　misfortune　of　adoring　foreign　words　without　knowing　what　they　mean。　one　afternoon　we　couldnt　use　the　toilet　because　there　were　visitors　in　the　office。　unable　to　wait；　he　went　to　the　bathroom　but　didnt　flush　the　toilet。　to　warn　us　of　the　unpleasant　odor；　he　tacked　a　sign　to　the　bathroom　door：　〃rsvp　　gas！〃　of　course；　he　meant　〃danger　　gas！〃　but　he　thought　〃rsvp〃　looked　more　elegant。　he　didnt　have　the　faintest　idea　that　it　meant　〃please　reply。鈥�

yours；　anne　

saturday；　february　27；　1943

dearest　kitty；

pim　is　expecting　the　invasion　any　day　now。　churchill　has　had　pneumonia；　but　is　gradually　getting　better。　gandhi；　the　champion　of　indian　freedom；　is　on　one　of　his　umpteenth　hunger　strikes。

mrs。　van　d。　claims　shes　fatalistic。　but　whos　the　most　afraid　when　the　guns　go　off？

none　other　than　petronella　van　daan。

jan　brought　along　the　episcopal　letter　that　the　bishops　addressed　to　their　parishioners。

it　was　beautiful　and　inspiring。　〃people　of　the　netherlands；　stand　up　and　take　action。

each　of　us　must　choose　our　own　weapons　to　fight　for　the　freedom　of　our　country；　our　people　and　our　reli　gion！　give　your　help　and　support。　act　now！〃　this　is　what　theyre　preaching　from　the　pulpit。　will　it　do　any　good？　its　definitely　too　late　to　help　our　fellow　jews。

guess　whats　happened　to　us　now？　the　owner　of　the　building　sold　it　without　informing　mr。　kugler　and　mr。　kleiman。　one　morning　the　new　landlord　arrived　with　an　architect　to　look　the　place　over。　thank　goodness　mr。　kleiman　was　in　the　office。　he　showed　the　gentlemen　all　there　was　to　see；　with　the　exception　of　the　secret　annex。　he　claimed　hed　left　the　key　at　home　and　the　new　owner　asked　no　further　questions。　if　only　he　doesnt　e　back　demanding　to　see　the　annex。　in　that　case；　well　be　in　big　trouble！

father　emptied　a　card　file　for　margot　and　me　and　filled　it　with　index　cards　that　are　blank　on　one　side。　this　is　to　bee　our　reading　file；　in　which　margot　and　i　are　supposed　to　note　down　the　books　weve　read；　the　author　and　the　date。　ive　learned　two　new　words：　〃brothel〃　and　〃coquette。〃　ive　bought　a　separate　notebook　for　new　words。

theres　a　new　division　of　butter　and　margarine。　each　person　is　to　get　their　portion　on　their　own　plate。　the　distribution　is　very　unfair。　the　van　daans；　who　always　make　breakfast　for　everyone；　give　themselves　one　and　a　half　times　more　than　they　do　us。

my　parents　are　much　too　afraid　of　an　argument　to　say　anything；　which　is　a　shame；　because　i　think　people　like　that　should　always　be　given　a　taste　of　their　own　medicine。

yours；　anne　

ww锛枫��



MARCH；　1943

灏彙ｈ�淬�倀銆倄t…澶�/鍫�
thursday；　march　4；　1943

dearest　kitty；

mrs。　van　d。　has　a　new　nickname　　weve　started　calling　her　mrs。　beaverbrook。　of　course；　that　doesnt　mean　anything　to　you；　so　let　me　explain。　a　certain　mr。

beaverbrook　often　talks　on　the　english　radio　about　what　he　considers　to　be　the　far　too　lenient　bombardment　of　germany。　mrs。　van　daan；　who　always　contradicts　everyone；　including　churchill　and　the　news　reports；　is　in　plete　agreement　with　mr。

beaverbrook。　so　we　thought　it　would　be　a　good　idea　for　her　to　be　married　to　him；　and　since　she　was　flattered　by　the　notion；　weve　decided　to　call　her　mrs。　beaverbrook　from　now　on。

were　getting　a　new　warehouse　employee；　since　the　old　one　is　being　sent　to　germany。　thats　bad　for　him　but　good　for　us　because　the　new　one　wont　be　famthar　with　the　building。　were　still　afraid　of　the　men　who　work　in　the　warehouse。

gandhi　is　eating　again。

the　black　market　is　doing　a　booming　business。　if　we　had　enough　money　to　pay　the　ridiculous　prices；　we　could　stuff　ourselves　silly。　our　greengrocer　buys　potatoes　from　the　〃wehrmacht〃　and　brings　them　in　sacks　to　the　private　office。　since　he　suspects　were　hiding　here；　he　makes　a　point　of　ing　during　lunchtime；　when　the　warehouse　employees　are　out。

so　much　pepper　is　being　ground　at　the　moment　that　we　sneeze　and　cough　with　every　breath　we　take。　everyone　who　es　upstairs　greets　us　with　an　〃ah…choo。〃　mrs。　van　d。　swears　she　wont　go　downstairs；　one　more　whiff　of　pepper　and　shes　going　to　get　sick。

i　dont　think　father　has　a　very　nice　business。　noth　ing　but　pectin　and　pepper。　as　long　as　youre　in　the　food　business；　why　not　make　candy？

a　veritable　thunderstorm　of　words　came　crashing　down　on　me　again　this　morning。

the　air　flashed　with　so　many　coarse　expressions　that　my　ears　were　ringing　with　〃annes　bad　this〃　annd　〃van　daans　good　that。〃　fire　and　brimstone！

yours；　anne　

wednesday；　march　10；　1943

dearest　kitty；

we　had　a　short　circuit　last　night；　and　besides　that；　the　guns　were　booming　away　until　dawn。　i　still　havent　gotten　over　my　fear　of　planes　and　shooting；　and　i　crawl　into

fathers　bed　nearly　every　night　for　fort。　i　know　it　sounds　childish；　but　wait　till　it　happens　to　you！　the　ack…ack　guns　make　so　much　noise　you　cant　hear　your　own　voice。　mrs。　beaverbrook；　the　fatalist；　practically　burst　into　tears　and　said　in　a　timid　little　voice；　〃oh；　its　so　awful。　oh；　the　guns　are　so　loud！〃　　which　is　another　way　of　saying　〃im　so　scared。鈥�

it　didnt　seem　nearly　as　bad　by　candlelight　as　it　did　in　the　dark。　i　was　shivering；　as　if　i　had　a　fever；　and　begged　father　to　relight　the　candle。　he　was　adamant：　there　was　to　be　no　light。　suddenly　we　heard　a　burst　of　machine…gun　fire；　and　thats　ten　times　worse　than　antiaircraft　guns。

mother　jumped　out　of　bed　and；　to　pims　great　annoyance；　lit　the　candle。　her　resolute　answer　to　his　grumbling　was；　〃after　all；　anne　is　not　an　ex…soldier！〃　and　that　was　the　end　of　that！

have　i　told　you　any　of　mrs。　van　d。s　other　fears？　i　dont　think　so。　to　keep　you　up　to　date　on　the　latest　adventures　in　the　secret　annex；　i　should　tell　you　this　as　well。

one　night　mrs。　van　d。　thought　she　heard　loud　footsteps　in　the　attic；　and　she　was　so　afraid　of　burglars；　she　woke　her　husband。　at　that　very　same　moment；　the　thieves　disappeared；　and　the　only　sound　mr。　van　d。　could　hear　was　the　frightened　pounding　of　his　fatalistic　wifes　heart。　〃oh；　putti！〃　she　cried。　（putti　is　mrs。　van　d。s　pet　name　for　her　husband。）　〃they　must　have　taken　all　our　sausages　and　dried　beans。　and　what　about　peter？　oh；　do　you　think　peters　still　safe　and　sound　in　his　bed？鈥�

〃im　sure　they　havent　stolen　peter。　stop　being　such　a　ninny；　and　let　me　get　back　to　sleep！鈥�

impossible。　mrs。　van　d。　was　too　scared　to　sleep。

a　few　nights　later　the　entire　van　daan　family　was　awakened　by　ghostly　noises。　peter　went　to　the　attic　with　a　flashlight　and　　scurry；　scurry　　what　do　you　think　he　saw　running　away？　a　whole　slew　of　enormous　rats！

once　we　knew　who　the　thieves　were；　we　let　mouschi　sleep　in　the　attic　and　never　saw　our　uninvited　guests　again。　。　。　at　least　not　at　night。

a　few　evenings　ago　（it　was　seven…thirty　and　still　light）；　peter　went　up　to　the　loft　to　get　some　old　newspapers。