安妮日记英文版_安妮·弗兰克-第18部分

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erest　is　just　a　passing　fancy；　since　theyve　never　heard　of　a　teenager　with　an　appreciation　of　mythology。　well　then；　i　guess　im　the　first！

mr。　van　daan　has　a　cold。　or　rather；　he　has　a　scratchy　throat；　but　hes　making　an　enormous　to…do　over　it。　he　gargles　with　camomile　tea；　coats　the　roof　of　his　mouth　with　a　tincture　of　myrrh　and　rubs　mentholatum　over　his　chest；　nose；　gums　and　tongue。

and　to　top　it　off；　hes　in　a　foul　mood！

rauter；　some　german　bigwig；　recently　gave　a　speech。　〃all　jews　must　be　out　of　the　german…occupied　territories　before　july　1。　the　province　of　utrecht　will　be　cleansed　of　jews　＇as　if　they　were　cockroaches＇　between　april　1　and　may　1；　and　the　provinces　of　north　and　south　holland　between　may　1　and　june　1。〃　these　poor　people　are　being

shipped　off　to　filthiy　slaughterhouses　like　a　herd　of　sick　and　neglected　cattle。　but　ill　say　no　more　on　the　subject。　my　own　thoughts　give　me　nightmares！

one　good　piece　of　news　is　that　the　labor　exchange　was　set　on　fire　in　an　act　of　sabotage。　a　few　days　later　the　county　clerks　office　also　went　up　in　flames。　men　posing　as　german　police　bound　and　gagged　the　guards　and　managed　to　destroy　some　important　documents。

yours；　anne　

ww锛枫��=



APRIL；　1943

灏彙ｈ�淬�倀！xt…澶╁爞
thursday；　april　1；　1943

dearest　kitty；

im　not　really　in　the　mood　for　pranks　（see　the　date）。

on　the　contrary；　today　i　can　safely　quote　the　saying〃　misfortunes　never　e　singly。鈥�

first；　mr。　kleiman；　our　merry　sunshine；　had　another　bout　of　gastrointestinal　hemorrhaging　yesterday　and　will　have　to　stay　in　bed　for　at　least　three　weeks。　i　should　tell　you　that　his　stomach　has　been　bothering　him　quite　a　bit；　and　theres　no　cure。　second；　bep　has　the　flu。　third；　mr。　voskuijl　has　to　go　to　the　hospital　next　week。

he　probably　has　an　ulcer　and　will　have　to　undergo　surgery。　fourth；　the　managers　of　pomosin　industries　came　from　frankfurt　to　discuss　the　new　opekta　deliveries。　father　had　gone　yer　the　important　points　with　mr。　kleiman；　and　there　wasnt　enough　time　to　give　mr。　kugler　a　thor　ough　briefing。

the　gentlemen　arrived　from　frankfurt；　and　father　was　already　shaking　at　the　thought　of　how　the　talks　would　go。　〃if　only　i　could　be　there；　if　only　i　were　downstairs；〃　he　exclaimed。

〃go　lie　down　with　your　ear　to　the　floor。　theyll　be　brought　to　the　private　office；　and　youll　be　able　to　hear　everything。　fathers　face　cleared；　and　yesterday　morning　at　ten…thirty　margot　and　pim　（two　ears　are　better　than　one）　took　up　their　posts　on　the　floor。　by　noon　the　talks　werent　finished；　but　father　was　in　no　shape　to　continue　his　listen　ing　campaign。　he　was　in　agony　from　having　to　lie　for　hours　in　such　an　unusual　and　unfortable　position。　at　two…thirty　we　heard　voices　in　the　hall；　and　i　took　his　place；　margot　kept　me　pany。　the　conversation　was　so　long…winded　and　boring　that　i　suddenly　fell　asleep　on　the　cold；　hard　linoleum。　margot　didnt　dare　touch　me　for　fear　theyd　hear　us；　and　of　course　she　couldnt　shout。　i　slept　for　a　good　half　hour　and　then　awoke　with　a　start；

having　forgotten　every　word　of　the　important　discussion。　luckily；　margot　had　paid　more　attention。

yours；　anne　

friday；　april　2；　1943

dearest　kitty；

oh　my；　another　item　has　been　added　to　my　list　of　sins。　last　night~　was　lying　in　bed；　waiting　for　father　to　tuck　me　in　an　say　my　prayers　with　me；　when　mother　came　into　the　room；　sat　on　my　bed　and　asked　very　gently；　〃anne；　daddy　isnt　ready。　how　about　if　i　listen　to　your　prayers　tonight？鈥�

〃no；　momsy；〃　i　replied。

mother　got　up；　stood　beside　my　bed　for　a　moment　and　then　slowly　walked　toward　the　door。　suddenly　she　turned；　her　face　contorted　with　pain；　and　said；　〃i　dont　want　to　be　angry　with　you。　i　cant　make　you　love　me！〃　a　few　tears　slid　down　her　cheeks　as　she　went　out　the　door。

i　lay　still；　thinking　how　mean　it　was　of　me　to　reject　her　so　cruelly；　but　i　also　knew　that　i　was　incapable　of　answering　her　any　other　way。　i　cant　be　a　hypocrite　and　pray　with　her　when　i　dont　feel　like　it。　it　just　doesnt　work　that　way。　i　felt　sorry　for　mother　　very；　very　sorry　　because　for　the　first　time　in　my　life　i　noticed　she　wasnt　indifferent　to　my　coldness。　i　saw　the　sorrow　in　her　face　when　she　talked　about　not　being　able　to　make　me　love　her。　its　hard　to　tell　the　truth；　and　yet　the　truth　is　that　shes　the　one　whos　rejected　me。　shes　the　one　whose　tactless　ments　and　cruel　jokes　about　matters　i　dont　think　are　funny　have　made　me　insensitive　to　any　sign　of　love　on　her　part。　just　as　my　heart　sinks　every　time　i　hear　her　harsh　words；　thats　how　her　heart　sank　when　she　realized　there　was　no　more　love　between　us。

she　cried　half　the　night　and　didnt　get　any　sleep。　father　has　avoided　looking　at　me；　and　if　his　eyes　do　happen　to　cross　mine；　i　can　read　his　unspoken　words：　〃how　can　you　be　so　unkind？　how　dare　you　make　your　mother　so　sad！鈥�

everyone　expects　me　to　apologize；　but　this　is　not　something　i　can　apologize　for；　because　i　told　the　truth；　and　sooner　or　later　mothjr　was　bound　to　find　out　anyway。　i　seem　to　be　indifferent　to　mothers　tears　and　fathers　glances；　and　i　am；　because　both　of　them　are　now　feeling　what　ive　always　felt。　i　can　only　feel　sorry　for　mother；　who　will　have　to　figure　out　what　her　attitude　should　be　all　by　herself。　for　my　part；　i　will

continue　to　remain　silent　and　aloof；　and　i　dont　intend　to　shrink　from　the　truth；　because　the　longer　its　postponed；　the　harder　it　will　be　for　them　to　accept　it　when　they　do　hear　it！

yours；　anne　

tuesday；　april　27；　1943

dearest　kitty；

the　house　is　still　trembling　from　the　aftereffects　of　the　quarrels。　everyone　is　mad　at　everyone　else：　mother　and　i；　mr。　van　daan　and　father；　mother　and　mrs。　van　d。

terrific　atmosphere；　dont　you　think？　once　again　annes　usual　list　of　shortings　has　been　extensively　aired。

our　german　visitors　were　back　last　saturday。　they　stayed　until　six。　we　all　sat　upstairs；　not　daring　to　move　an　inch。　if　theres　no　one　else　working　in　the　building　or　in　the　neighborhood；　you　can　hear　every　single　step　in　the　private　office。　ive　got　ants　in　my　pants　again　from　having　to　sit　still　so　long。

mr。　voskuijl　has　been　hospitalized；　but　mr。　kleimans　back　at　the　office。　his　stomach　stopped　bleeding　sooner　than　it　normally　does。　he　told　us　that　the　county　clerks　office　took　an　extra　beating　because　the　firemen　flooded　the　entire　building　instead　of　just　putting　out　the　fire。　that　does　my　heart　good！

the　carlton　hotel　has　been　destroyed。　two　british　planes　loaded　with　firebombs　landed　right　on　top　of　the　german　officers　club。　the　entire　corner　of　vijzelstraat　and　singel　has　gone　up　in　flames。　the　number　of　air　strikes　on　german　cities　is　increasing　daily。　we　havent　had　a　good　nights　rest　in　ages；　and　i　have　bags　under　my　eyes　from　lack　of　sleep。

our　food　is　terrible。　breakfast　consists　of　plain；　unbuttered　brea　and　ersatz　coffee。　for　the　last　two　weeks　lunch　has　been　e。　spinach　or　cooked　lettuce　with　huge　potatoes　that　have　a　rotten；　sweetish　taste。　if　youre　trying　to　diet；　the　annex　is　the　place　to　be！　upstairs　they　plain　bitterly；　but　we　dont　think　its　such　a　tragedy。

all　the　dutch　men　who　either　fought　or　were　mobilized　in　1940　have　been　called　up　to　work　in　prisoner…of…war　camps。　i　bet　theyre　taking　this　precaution　because　of　the　invasion！

yours；　anne　

　　



MAY；　1943

灏忥紝璇达蓟t。xt锛诲ぉ鍫傦綕
saturday；　may　1；　1943

dearest　kitty；

yesterday　was　dussels　birthday。　at　first　he　acted　as　if　he　didnt　want　to　celebrate　it；　but　when　miep　arrived　with　a　large　shopping　bag　overflowing　with　gifts；　he　was　as　excited　as　a　little　kid。　his　darling　lotje〃　has　sent　him　eggs；　butter；　cookies；　lemonade；　bread；　cognac；　spice　cake；　flowers；　oranges；　chocolate；　books　and　writing　paper。　he　piled　his　presents　on　a　table　and　displayed　them　for　no　fewer　than　three　days；　the　silly　old　goat！

you　mustnt　get　the　idea　that　hes　starving。　we　found　bread；　cheese；　jam　and　eggs　in　his　cupboard。　its　absolutely　disgraceful　that　dussel；　whom　weve　treated　with　such　kindness　and　whom　we　took　in　to　save　from　destruction；　should　stuff　himself　behind　our　backs　and　not　give　us　anything。　after　all；　weve　shared　all　we　had　with　him！　but　whats　worse；　in　our　opinion；　is　that　hes　so　stingy　with　respect　to　mr。　kleiman；　mr。

voskuijl　and　bep。　he　doesnt　give　them　a　thing。　in　dussels　view　the　oranges　that　kleiman　so　badly　needs　for　his　sick　stomach　will　benefit　his　own　stomach　even　more。

tonight　the　guns　have　been　banging　away　so　much　that　ive　already　had　to　gather　up　my　belongings　four　times。　today　i　packed　a　suitcase　wl　f；the　stuff　id　need　in　case　we　had　to　flee；　but　as　m　ther　correctly　noted；　〃where　would　you　go？鈥�

all　of　holland　is　being　punishe　or　the　workers　strikes。　martial　law　has　been　declared；　and　everyone　is　going　to　get　one　less　butter　coupon。　what　naughty　children。

i　washed　mothers　hair　this　evening；　which　is　no　easy　task　these　days。　we　have　to　use　a　very　sticky　liquid　cleanser　because　theres　no　more　shampoo。　besides　that；　moms　had　a　hard　time　bing　her　hair　because　the　family　b　has　only　ten　teeth　left。

yours；　anne　

sunday；　may　2；　1943

when　i　think　about　our　lives　here；　i　usually　e　to　the　conclusion　that　we　live　in　a　paradise　pared　to　the　jews　who　arent　in　hiding。　all　the　same；　later　on；　when

everything　has　returned　to　normal；　ill　probably　wonder　how　we；　who　always　lived　in　such　fortable　circumstances；　could　have　〃sunk〃　so　low。　with　respect　to　manners；　i　mean。　for　example；　the　same　oilcloth　has　covered　the　dining　table　ever　since　weve　been　here。　after　so　much　use；　its　hardly　what　youd　call　spotless。　i　do　my　best　to　clean　it；　but　since　the　dishcloth　was　also　purchased　before　we　went　into　hiding　and　consists　of　more　holes　than　cloth；　its　a　thankless　task。　the　van　daans　have　been　sleeping　all　winter　long　on　the　same　flannel　sheet；　which　cant　be　washed　because　detergent　is　rationed　and　in　short　supply。　besides；　its　of　such　poor　quality　that　its　practically　useless。　father　is　walking　around　in　frayed　trousers；　and　his　tie　is　also　showing　signs　of　wear　and　tear。　mamas　corset　snapped　today　and　is　beyond　repair；　while　margot　is　wearing　a　bra　thats　two　sizes　too　small；　mother　and　margot　have　shared　the　same　three　undershorts　the　entire　winter；　and　mine　are　so　small　they　dont　even　cover　my　stomach。　these　are　all　things　that　can　be　overe；　but　i　sometimes　wonder：　how