安妮日记英文版_安妮·弗兰克-第54部分

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so　if　youre　wondering　whether　its　harder　for　the　adults　here　than　for　the　children；　the　answer　is　no；　its　certainly　not。　older　people　have　an　opinion　about　everything　and　are　sure　of　themselves　and　their　actions。　its　twice　as　hard　for　us　young　people　to　hold　on　to　our　opinions　at　a　time　when　ideals　are　being　shattered　and　destroyed；　when　the　worst　side　of　human　nature　predominates；　when　everyone　has　e　to　doubt　truth；　justice　and　god。

anyone　who　claims　that　the　older　folks　have　a　more　difficult　time　in　the　annex　doesnt　realize　that　the　problems　have　a　far　greater　impact　on　us。　were　much　too　young　to　deal　with　these　problems；　but　they　keep　thrusting　themselves　on　us　until；　finally；　were　forced　to　think　up　a　solution；　though　most　of　the　time　our　solutions　crumble　when　faced　with　the　facts。　its　difficult　in　times　like　these：　ideals；　dreams　and　cherished　hopes　rise　within　us；　only　to　be　crushed　by　grim　reality。　its　a　wonder　i　havent　abandoned　all　my　ideals；　they　seem　so　absurd　and　impractical。　yet　i　cling　to　them　because　i　still　believe；　in　spite　of　everything；　that　people　are　truly　good　at　heart。

its　utterly　impossible　for　me　to　build　my　life　on　a　foundation　of　chaos；　suffering　and　death。　i　see　the　world　being　slowly　transformed　into　a　wilderness；　i　hear　the　approaching　thunder　that；　one　day；　will　destroy　us　too；　i　feel　the　suffering　of　millions。

and　yet；　when　i　look　up　at　the　sky；　i　somehow　feel　that　everything　will　change　for　the　better；　that　this　cruelty　too　shall　end；　that　peace　and　tranquthty　will　return　once　more。　in　the　meantime；　i　must　hold　on　to　my　ideals。　perhaps　the　day　will　e　when　ill　be　able　to　realize　them！

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

friday；　july　21；　1944

dearest　kitty；

im　finally　getting　optimistic。　now；　at　last；　things　are　going　well！　they　really　are！

great　news！　an　assassination　attempt　has　been　made　on　hitlers　life；　and　for　once　not　by　jewish　munists　or　english　capitalists；　but　by　a　german　general　whos　not　only　a　count；　but　young　as　well。　the　fuhrer　owes　his　life　to　〃divine　providence〃：　he　escaped；　unfortunately；　with　only　a　few　minor　burns　and　scratches。　a　number　of　the　officers　and　generals　who　were　nearby　were　killed　or　wounded。　the　head　of　the　conspiracy　has　been　shot。

this　is　the　best　proof　weve　had　so　far　that　many　officers　and　generals　are　fed　up　with　the　war　and　would　like　to　see　hitler　sink　into　a　bottomless　pit；　so　they　can　establish　a　mthtary　dictatorship；　make　peace　with　the　allies；　rearm　themselves　and；　after　a　few　decades；　start　a　new　war。　perhaps　providence　is　deliberately　biding　its　time　getting　rid　of　hider；　since　its　much　easier；　and　cheaper；　for　the　allies　to　let　the　impeccable　germans　kill　each　other　off。　its　less　work　for　the　russians　and　the　british；　and　it　allows　them　to　start　rebuilding　their　own　cities　all　that　much　sooner。　but　we　havent　reached　that　point　yet；　and　id　hate　to　anticipate　the　glorious　event。　still；　youve　probably　noticed　that　im　telling　the　truth；　the　whole　truth　and　nothing　but　the　truth。　for　once；　im　not　rattling　on　about　high　ideals。

furthermore；　hitler　has　been　so　kind　as　to　announce　to　his　loyal；　devoted　people　that　as　of　today　all　mthtary　personnel　are　under　orders　of　the　gestapo；　and　that　any　soldier　who　knows　that　one　of　his　superiors　was　involved　in　this　cowardly　attempt　on　the　fuhrers　life　may　shoot　him　on　sight！

a　fine　kettle　of　fish　that　will　be。　little　johnnys　feet　are　sore　after　a　long　march　and　his　manding　officer　bawls　him　out。　johnny　grabs　his　rifle；　shouts；　〃you；　you　tried　to　kill　the　fuhrer。　take　that！〃　one　shot；　and　the　snooty　officer　who　dared　to　reprimand　him　passes　into　eternal　life　（or　is　it　eternal　death？）。　eventually；　every　time　an　officer　sees　a　soldier　or　gives　an　order；　hell　be　practically　wetting　his　pants；　because　the　soldiers　have　more　say…so　than　he　does。

were　you　able　to　follow　that；　or　have　i　been　skipping　from　one　subject　to　another　again？　i　cant　help　it；　the　prospect　of　going　back　to　school　in　october　is　making　me　too　happy　to　be　logical！　oh　dear；　didnt　i　just　get　through　telling　you　i　didnt　want　to　anticipate　events？　forgive　me；　kitty；　they　dont　call　me　a　bundle　of　contradictions　for　nothing！

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

　www銆傘��



AUGUST；　1944

灏彙！ｈ�础！�t。xt。。澶�。鍫�
tuesday；　august　1；　1944

dearest　kitty；

〃a　bundle　of　contradictions〃　was　the　end　of　my　previous　letter　and　is　the　beginning　of　this　one。　can　you　please　tell　me　exactly　what　〃a　bundle　of　contradictions〃　is？　what　does　〃contradiction〃　mean？　like　so　many　words；　it　can　be　interpreted　in　two　ways：　a　contradiction　imposed　from　without　and　one　imposed　from　within。　the　former　means　not　accepting　other　peoples　opinions；　always　knowing　best；　having　the　last　word；　in　short；　all　those　unpleasant　traits　for　which　im　known。　the　latter；　for　which　im　not　known；　is　my　own　secret。

as　ive　told　you　many　times；　im　split　in　two。　one　side　contains　my　exuberant　cheerfulness；　my　flippancy；　my　joy　in　life　and；　above　all；　my　abthty　to　appreciate　the　lighter　side　of　things。　by　that　i　mean　not　finding　anything　wrong　with　flirtations；　a　kiss；　an　embrace；　an　off…color　joke。　this　side　of　me　is　usually　lying　in　wait　to　ambush　the　other　one；　which　is　much　purer；　deeper　and　finer。　no　one　knows　annes　better　side；　and　thats　why　most　people　cant　stand　me。　oh；　i　can　be　an　amusing　clown　for　an　afternoon；　but　after　that　everyones　had　enough　of　me　to　last　a　month。　actually；　im　what　a　romantic　movie　is　to　a　profound　thinker　　a　mere　diversion；　a　ic　interlude；　something　that　is　soon　forgotten：　not　bad；　but　not　particularly　good　either。　i　hate　having　to　tell　you　this；　but　why　shouldnt　i　admit　it　when　i　know　its　true？　my　lighter；　more　superficial　side　will　always　steal　a　march　on　the　deeper　side　and　therefore　always　win。　you　cant　imagine　how　often　ive　tried　to　p：ush　away　this　anne；　which　is　only　half　of　what　is　known　as　anne…to　beat　her　down；　hide　her。　but　it　doesnt　work；　and　i　know　why。

im　afraid　that　people　who　know　me　as　i　usually　am　will　discover　i　have　another　side；　a　better　and　finer　side。　im　afraid　theyll　mock　me；　think　im　ridiculous　and　sentimental　and　not　take　me　seriously。　im　used　to　not　being　taken　seriously；　but　only　the　〃lighthearted〃　anne　is　used　to　it　and　can　put　up　with　it；　the　〃deeper〃　anne　is　too　weak。　if　i　force　the　good　anne　into　the　spotlight　for　even　fifteen　minutes；　she　shuts　up　like　a　clam　the　moment　shes　called　upon　to　speak；　and　lets　anne　number　one　do　the　talking。　before　i　realize　it；　shes　disappeared。

so　the　nice　anne　is　never　seen　in　pany。　shes　never　made　a　single　appearance；　though　she　almost　always　takes　the　stage　when　im　alone。　i　know　exactly　how　id　like　to　be；　how　i　am　。　。　。　on　the　inside。　but　unfortunately　im　only　like　that　with　myself。

and　perhaps　thats　why…no；　im　sure　thats　the　reason　why　　i　think　of　myself　as　happy　on　the　inside　and　other　people　think　im　happy　on　the　outside。　im　guided　by

the　pure　anne　within；　but　on　the　outside　im　nothing　but　a　frolicsome　little　goat　tugging　at　its　tether。

as　ive　told　you；　what　i　say　is　not　what　i　feel；　which　is　why　i　have　a　reputation　for　being　boy…crazy　as　well　as　a　flirt；　a　smart　aleck　and　a　reader　of　romances。　the　happy…go…lucky　anne　laughs；　gives　a　flippant　reply；　shrugs　her　shoulders　and　pretends　she　doesnt　give　a　darn。　the　quiet　anne　reacts　in　just　the　opposite　way。　if　im　being　pletely　honest；　ill　have　to　admit　that　it　does　matter　to　me；　that　im　trying　very　hard　to　change　myself；　but　that　i　im　always　up　against　a　more　powerful　enemy。

a　voice　within　me　is　sobbing；　〃you　see；　thats　whats　bee　of　you。　youre　surrounded　by　negative　opinions；　dismayed　looks　and　mocking　faces；　people；　who　dislike　you；　and　all　because　you　dont　listen　to　the　；　advice　of　your　own　better　half。鈥�

believe　me；　id　like　；　to　listen；　but　it　doesnt　work；　because　if　im　quiet　and　serious；　everyone　thinks　im　putting　on　a　new　act　and　i　have　to　save　myself　with　a　joke；　and　then　im　not　even　talking　about　my　own　family；　who　assume　i　must　be　sick；　stuff　me　with　aspirins　and　sedatives；　feel　my　neck　and　forehead　to　see　if　i　have　a　temperature；　ask　about　my　bowel　movements　and　berate　me　for　being　in　a　bad　mood；　until　i　just　cant　keep　it　up　anymore；　because　jj　when　everybody　starts　hovering　over　me；　i　get　cross；　then　sad；　and　finally　end　up　turning　my　heart　inside　g　out；　the　bad　part　on　the　outside　and　the　good　part　on　the　inside；　and　keep　trying　to　find　a　way　to　bee　what　id　like　to　be　and　what　i　could　be　if　。　。　。　if　only　there　were　no　other　people　in　the　world。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

…

annes　diary　ends　here。

…

afterword

on　the　morning　of　august　4；　1944；　sometime　between　ten　and　ten…thirty；　a　car　pulled　up　at　263　prinsengracht。　several　figures　emerged：　an　ss　sergeant；　karl　josef　silberbauer；　in　full　uniform；　and　at　least　three　dutch　members　of　the　security　police；　armed　but　in　civilian　clothes。　someone　must　have　tipped　them　off。

they　arrested　the　eight　people　hiding　in　the　annex；　as　well　as　two　of　their　helpers；　victor　kugler　and　johannes　kleiman　　though　not　miep　gies　and　elisabeth　（bep）

voskuijl…and　took　all　the　valuables　and　cash　they　could　find　in　the　annex。

after　the　arrest；　kugler　and　kleiman　were　taken　to　a　prison　in　amsterdam。　on　september　11；　1944；　they　were　transferred；　without　benefit　of　a　trial；　to　a　camp　in　amersfoort　（holland）。　kleiman；　because　of　his　poor　health；　was　released　on　september　18；　1944。　he　remained　in　amsterdam　until　his　death　in　1959。

kugler　managed　to　escape　his　imprisonment　on　march　28；　1945；　when　he　and　his　fellow　prisoners　were　being　sent　to　germany　as　forced　laborers。　he　immigrated　to　canada　in　1955　and　died　in　toronto　in　1989。

elisabeth　（bep）　voskuijl　wijk　died　in　amsterdam　in　1983。

miep　santrouschitz　gies　is　still　living　in　amsterdam；　her　husband　jan　died　in　1993。

upon　their　arrest；　the　eight　residents　of　the　annex　were　first　brought　to　a　prison　in　amsterdam　and　then　transferred　to　westerbork；　the　transit　camp　for　jews　in　the　north　of　holland。　they　were　deported　on　september　3；　1944；　in　the　last　transport　to　leave　westerbork；　and　arrived　three　days　later　in　auschwitz　（poland）。

hermann　van　pels　（van　daan）　was；　according　to　the　testimony　of　otto　frank；　gassed　to　death　in　auschwitz　in　october　or　november　1944；　shortly　before　the　gas　chambers　were　dismantl