白噪音(White Noise) (英文版)作者:唐·德里罗(Don DeLillo)-第30部分

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　the　shock　of　some　minor　fact　jarred　loose。
　　〃I　saw　this　before；〃　he　finally　said　to　me。
　　〃Saw　what　before？〃
　　〃You　were　standing　there；　I　was　standing　here。　Like　a　leap　into　the　fourth　dimension。　Your　features　incredibly　sharp　and　clear。　Light　hair；　washed…out　eyes；　pinkish　nose；　nondescript　mouth　and　chin；　sweaty…type　plexion；　average　jowls；　slumped　shoulders；　big　hands　and　feet。　It　all　happened　before。　Steam　hissing　in　the　pipes。　Tiny　little　hairs　standing　out　in　your　pores。　That　identical　look　on　your　face。〃
　　〃What　look？〃　I　said。
　　〃Haunted；　ashen；　lost。〃
　　It　was　nine　days　before　they　told　us　we　could　go　back　home。
　　III　Dylarama
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　　The　supermarket　is　full　of　elderly　people　who　look　lost　among　the　dazzling　hedgerows。　Some　people　are　too　small　to　reach　the　upper　shelves；　some　people　block　the　aisles　with　their　carts；　some　are　clumsy　and　slow　to　react；　some　are　forgetful；　some　confused；　some　move　about　muttering　with　the　wary　look　of　people　in　institutional　corridors。
　　I　pushed　my　cart　along　the　aisle。　Wilder　sat　inside；　on　the　collapsible　shelf；　trying　to　grab　items　whose　shape　and　radiance　excited　his　system　of　sensory　analysis。　There　were　two　new　developments　in　the　supermarket；　a　butcher's　corner　and　a　bakery；　and　the　oven　aroma　of　bread　and　cake　bined　with　the　sight　of　a　bloodstained　man　pounding　at　strips　of　living　veal　was　pretty　exciting　for　us　all。
　　〃Dristan　Ultra；　Dristan　Ultra。〃
　　The　other　excitement　was　the　snow。　Heavy　snow　predicted；　later　today　or　tonight。　It　brought　out　the　crowds；　those　who　feared　the　roads　would　soon　be　impassable；　those　too　old　to　walk　safely　in　snow　and　ice；　those　who　thought　the　storm　would　isolate　them　in　their　homes　for　days　or　weeks。　Older　people　in　particular　were　susceptible　to　news　of　impending　calamity　as　it　was　forecast　on　TV　by　grave　men　standing　before　digital　radar　maps　or　pulsing　photographs　of　the　planet。　Whipped　into　a　frenzy；　they　hurried　to　the　supermarket　to　stock　up　before　the　weather　mass　moved　in。　Snow　watch；　said　the　forecasters。　Snow　alert。　Snowplows。　Snow　mixed　with　sleet　and　freezing　rain。　It　was　already　snowing　in　the　west。　It　was　already　moving　to　the　east。　They　gripped　this　news　like　a　pygmy　skull。　Snow　showers。　Snow　flurries。　Snow　warnings。　Driving　snow。　Blowing　snow。　Deep　and　drifting　snow。　Accumulations；　devastations。　The　old　people　shopped　in　a　panic。　When　TV　didn't　fill　them　with　rage；　it　scared　them　half　to　death。　They　whispered　to　each　other　in　the　checkout　lines。　Traveler's　advisory；　zero　visibility。　When　does　it　hit？　How　many　inches？　How　many　days？　They　became　secretive；　shifty；　appeared　to　withhold　the　latest　and　worst　news　from　others；　appeared　to　blend　a　cunning　with　their　haste；　tried　to　hurry　out　before　someone　questioned　the　extent　of　their　purchases。　Hoarders　in　a　war。　Greedy；　guilty。
　　I　saw　Murray　in　the　generic　food　area；　carrying　a　Teflon　skillet。　I　stopped　to　watch　him　for　a　while。　He　talked　to　four　or　five　people；　occasionally　pausing　to　scrawl　some　notes　in　a　spiral　book。　He　managed　to　write　with　the　skillet　wedged　awkwardly　under　his　arm。
　　Wilder　called　out　to　him；　a　tree…top　screech；　and　I　wheeled　the　cart　over。
　　〃How　is　that　good　woman　of　yours？〃
　　〃Fine；〃　I　said。
　　〃Does　this　kid　talk　yet？〃
　　〃Now　and　then。　He　likes　to　pick　his　spots。〃
　　〃You　know　that　matter　you　helped　me　with？　The　Elvis　Presley　power　struggle？〃
　　〃Sure。　I　came　in　and　lectured。〃
　　〃It　turns　out；　tragically；　that　I　would　have　won　anyway。〃
　　〃What　happened？〃
　　〃Cotsakis；　my　rival；　is　no　longer　among　the　living。〃
　　〃What　does　that　mean？〃
　　〃It　means　he's　dead。〃
　　〃Dead？〃
　　〃Lost　in　the　surf　off　Malibu。　During　the　term　break。　I　found　out　an　hour　ago。　Came　right　here。〃
　　I　was　suddenly　aware　of　the　dense　environmental　texture。　The　automatic　doors　opened　and　closed；　breathing　abruptly。　Colors　and　odors　seemed　sharper。　The　sound　of　gliding　feet　emerged　from　a　dozen　other　noises；　from　the　sublittoral　drone　of　maintenance　systems；　from　the　rustle　of　newsprint　as　shoppers　scanned　their　horoscopes　in　the　tabloids　up　front；　from　the　whispers　of　elderly　women　with　talcumed　faces；　from　the　steady　rattle　of　cars　going　over　a　loose　manhole　cover　just　outside　the　entrance。　Gliding　feet。　I　heard　them　clearly；　a　sad　numb　shuffle　in　every　aisle。
　　〃How　are　the　girls？〃　Murray　said。
　　〃Fine。〃
　　〃Back　in　school？〃
　　〃Yes。〃
　　〃Now　that　the　scare　is　over。〃
　　〃Yes。　Steffie　no　longer　wears　her　protective　mask。〃
　　〃I　want　to　buy　some　New　York　cuts；〃　he　said；　gesturing　toward　the　butcher。
　　The　phrase　seemed　familiar；　but　what　did　it　mean？
　　〃Unpackaged　meat；　fresh　bread；〃　he　went　on。　〃Exotic　fruits；　rare　cheeses。　Products　from　twenty　countries。　It's　like　being　at　some　crossroads　of　the　ancient　world；　a　Persian　bazaar　or　boom　town　on　the　Tigris。　How　are　you；　Jack？〃
　　What　did　he　mean；　how　are　you？
　　〃Poor　Cotsakis；　lost　in　the　surf；〃　I　said。　〃That　enormous　man。〃
　　〃That's　the　one。〃
　　〃I　don't　know　what　to　say。〃
　　〃He　was　big　all　right。〃
　　〃Enormously　so。〃
　　〃I　don't　know　what　to　say　either。　Except　better　him　than　me。〃
　　〃He　must　have　weighed　three　hundred　pounds。〃
　　〃Oh；　easily。〃
　　〃What　do　you　think；　two　ninety；　three　hundred？〃
　　〃Three　hundred　easily。〃
　　〃Dead。　A　big　man　like　that。〃；　〃What　can　we　say？〃
　　〃I　thought　I　was　big。〃
　　〃He　was　on　another　level。　You're　big　on　your　level。〃
　　〃Not　that　I　knew　him。　I　didn't　know　him　at　all。〃
　　〃It's　better　not　knowing　them　when　they　die。　It's　better　them　than　us。〃
　　〃To　be　so　enormous。　Then　to　die。〃
　　〃To　be　lost　without　a　trace。　To　be　swept　away。〃
　　〃I　can　picture　him　so　clearly。〃
　　〃It's　strange　in　a　way；　isn't　it；〃　he　said；　〃that　we　can　picture　the　dead。〃
　　I　took　Wilder　along　the　fruit　bins。　The　fruit　was　gleaming　and　wet；　hard…edged。　There　was　a　self…conscious　quality　about　it。　It　looked　carefully　observed；　like　four…color　fruit　in　a　guide　to　photography。　We　veered　right　at　the　plastic　jugs　of　spring　water　and　headed　for　the　checkout。　I　liked　being　with　Wilder。　The　world　was　a　series　of　fleeting　gratifications。　He　took　what　he　could；　then　immediately　forgot　it　in　the　rush　of　a　subsequent　pleasure。　It　was　this　forgetfulness　I　envied　and　admired。
　　The　woman　at　the　terminal　asked　him　a　number　of　questions；　providing　her　own　replies　in　a　babyish　voice。
　　Some　of　the　houses　in　town　were　showing　signs　of　neglect。　The　park　benches　needed　repair；　the　broken　streets　needed　resurfacing。　Signs　of　the　times。　But　the　supermarket　did　not　change；　except　for　the　better。　It　was　well…stocked；　musical　and　bright。　This　was　the　key；　it　seemed　to　us。　Everything　was　fine；　would　continue　to　be　fine；　would　eventually　get　even　better　as　long　as　the　supermarket　did　not　slip。
　　Early　that　evening　I　drove　Babette　to　her　class　in　posture。　We　stopped　on　the　parkway　overpass　and　got　out　to　look　at　the　sunset。　Ever　since　the　airborne　toxic　event；　the　sunsets　had　bee　almost　unbearably　beautiful。　Not　that　there　was　a　measurable　connection。　If　the　special　character　of　Nyodene　Derivative　（added　to　the　everyday　drift　of　effluents；　pollutants；　contaminants　and　deliriants）　had　caused　this　aesthetic　leap　from　already　brilliant　sunsets　to　broad　towering　ruddled　visionary　skyscapes；　tinged　with　dread；　no　one　had　been　able　to　prove　it。
　　〃What　else　can　we　believe？〃　Babette　said。　〃How　else　can　we　explain？〃
　　〃I　don't　know。〃
　　〃We're　not　at　the　edge　of　the　ocean　or　desert。　We　ought　to　have　timid　winter　sunsets。　But　look　at　the　blazing　sky。　It's　so　beautiful　and　dramatic。　Sunsets　used　to　last　five　minutes。　Now　they　last　an　hour。〃
　　〃Why　is　that？〃
　　〃Why　is　that？〃　she　said。
　　This　spot　on　the　overpass　offered　a　broad　prospect　west。　People　had　been　ing　here　ever　since　the　first　of　the　new　sunsets；　parking　their　own　cars；　standing　around　in　the　bitter　wind　to　chat　nervously　and　look。　There　were　four　cars　here　already；　others　certain　to　e。　The　overpass　had　bee　a　scenic　lookout。　The　police　were　reluctant　to　enforce　the　parking　ban。　It　was　one　of　those　situations；　like　the　Olympics　for　the　handicapped；　that　make　all　the　restrictions　seem　petty。
　　Later　I　drove　back　to　the　Congregational　church　to　pick　her　up。　Denise　and　Wilder　came　along　for　the　ride。　Babette　in　jeans　and　legwarmers　was　a　fine　and　stirring　sight。　Legwarmers　lend　a　note　of　paramilitary　poise；　a　hint　of　archaic　warriorhood。　When　she　shoveled　snow；　she　wore　a　furry　headband　as　well。　It　made　me　think　of　the　fifth　century　A。D。　Men　standing　around　campfires　speaking　in　subdued　tones　in　their　Turkic　and　Mongol　dialects。　Clear　skies。　The　fearless　exemplary　death　of　Attila　the　Hun。
　　〃How　was　class？〃　Denise　said。
　　〃It's　going　so　well　they　want　me　to　teach　another　course。〃
　　〃In　what？〃
　　〃Jack　won't　believe　this。〃
　　〃In　what？〃　I　said。
　　〃Eating　and　drinking。　It's　called　Eating　and　Drinking：　Basic　Parameters。　Which；　I　admit；　is　a　little　more　stupid　than　it　absolutely　has　to　be。〃
　　〃What　could　you　teach？〃　Denise　said。
　　〃That's　just　it。　It's　practically　inexhaustible。　Eat　light　foods　in　warm　weather。　Drink　plenty　of　liquids。〃
　　〃But　everybody　knows　that。〃
　　〃Knowledge　changes　every　day。　People　like　to　have　their　beliefs　reinforced。　Don't　lie　down　after　eating　a　heavy　meal。　Don't　drink　liquor　on　an　empty　stomach。　If　you　must　swim；　wait　at　least　an　hour　after　eating。　The　world　is　more　plicated　for　adults　than　it　is　for　children。　We　didn't　grow　up　with　all　these　shifting　facts　and　attitudes。　One　day　they　just　started　appearing。　So　people　need　to　be　reassured　by　someone　in　a　position　of　authority　that　a　certain　way　to　do　something　is　the　right　way　or　the　wrong　way；　at　least　for　the　time　being。　I'm　the　closest　they　could　find；　that's　all。〃
　　A　staticky　piece　of　lint　clung　to　the　TV　screen。
　　In　bed　we　lay　quietly；　my　head　between　her　breasts；　cushioned　as　if　against　some　remorseless　blow。　I　was　determined　not　to　tell　her　about　the　puter　verdict。　I　knew　she　would　be　devastated　to　learn　that　my　death　would　almost　surely　precede　hers。　Her　body　became　the　agency　of　my　resolve；　my　silence。　Nightly　I　moved　toward　her　breasts；　nuzzling　into　that　designated　space　like　a　wounded　sub　into　its　repair　dock。　I　drew　courage　from　h