还乡The Return Of The Native-第28部分

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way　through　the　pantry　door；　which　opened　from　the　sitting…room。　Here　they　seated　themselves　in　a　row；　the　door　being　left　open—thus　they　were　still　virtually　in　the　same　apartment。　　Mrs。　Yeobright　now　murmured　a　few　words　to　her　son；　who　crossed　the　room　to　the　pantry　door；　striking　his　head　against　the　mistletoe　as　he　passed；　and　brought　the　mummers　beef　and　bread；　cake　pastry；　mead；　and　elder…wine；　the　waiting　being　done　by　him　and　his　mother；　that　the　little　maid…servant　might　sit　as　guest。　　The　mummers　doffed　their　helmets；　and　began　to　eat　and　drink。　
“But　you　will　surely　have　some？”　said　Clym　to　the　Turkish　Knight；　as　he　stood　before　that　warrior；　tray　in　hand。　　She　had　refused；　and　still　sat　covered；　only　the　sparkle　of　her　eyes　being　visible　between　the　ribbons　which　covered　her　face。　
“None；　thank　you；”　replied　Eustacia。
“He’s　quite　a　youngster；”　said　the　Saracen　apologetically；　“and　you　must　excuse　him。　　He’s　not　one　of　the　old　set；　but　have　jined　us　because　t’other　couldn’t　e。”
“But　he　will　take　something？”　persisted　Yeobright。　
“Try　a　glass　of　mead　or　elder…wine。”
“Yes；　you　had　better　try　that；”　said　the　Saracen。　
“It　will　keep　the　cold　out　going　home…along。”
Though　Eustacia　could　not　eat　without　uncovering　her　face　she　could　drink　easily　enough　beneath　her　disguise。　　The　elder…wine　was　accordingly　accepted；　and　the　glass　vanished　inside　the　ribbons。　
At　moments　during　this　performance　Eustacia　was　half　in　doubt　about　the　security　of　her　position；　yet　it　had　a　fearful　joy。　　A　series　of　attentions　paid　to　her；　and　yet　not　to　her　but　to　some　imaginary　person；　by　the　first　man　she　had　ever　been　inclined　to　adore；　plicated　her　emotions　indescribably。　　She　had　loved　him　partly　because　he　was　exceptional　in　this　scene；　partly　because　she　had　determined　to　love　him；　chiefly　because　she　was　in　desperate　need　of　loving　somebody　after　wearying　of　Wildeve。　　Believing　that　she　must　love　him　in　spite　of　herself；　she　had　been　influenced　after　the　fashion　of　the　second　Lord　Lyttleton　and　other　persons；　who　have　dreamed　that　they　were　to　die　on　a　certain　day；　and　by　stress　of　a　morbid　imagination　have　actually　brought　about　that　event。　　Once　let　a　maiden　admit　the　possibility　of　her　being　stricken　with　love　for　someone　at　a　certain　hour　and　place；　and　the　thing　is　as　good　as　done。　
Did　anything　at　this　moment　suggest　to　Yeobright　the　sex　of　the　creature　whom　that　fantastic　guise　inclosed；　how　extended　was　her　scope　both　in　feeling　and　in　making　others　feel；　and　how　far　her　pass　transcended　that　of　her　panions　in　the　band？　　When　the　disguised　Queen　of　Love　appeared　before　Aeneas　a　preternatural　perfume　acpanied　her　presence　and　betrayed　her　quality。　　If　such　a　mysterious　emanation　ever　was　projected　by　the　emotions　of　an　earthly　woman　upon　their　object；　it　must　have　signified　Eustacia’s　presence　to　Yeobright　now。　　He　looked　at　her　wistfully；　then　seemed　to　fall　into　a　reverie；　as　if　he　were　forgetting　what　he　observed。　　The　momentary　situation　ended；　he　passed　on；　and　Eustacia　sipped　her　wine　without　knowing　what　she　drank。　　The　man　for　whom　she　had　pre…determined　to　nourish　a　passion　went　into　the　small　room；　and　across　it　to　the　further　extremity。　
The　mummers；　as　has　been　stated；　were　seated　on　a　bench；　one　end　of　which　extended　into　the　small　apartment；　or　pantry；　for　want　of　space　in　the　outer　room。　　Eustacia；　partly　from　shyness；　had　chosen　the　midmost　seat；　which　thus　manded　a　view　of　the　interior　of　the　pantry　as　well　as　the　room　containing　the　guests。　　When　Clym　passed　down　the　pantry　her　eyes　followed　him　in　the　gloom　which　prevailed　there。　　At　the　remote　end　was　a　door　which；　just　as　he　was　about　to　open　it　for　himself；　was　opened　by　somebody　within；　and　light　streamed　forth。
The　person　was　Thomasin；　with　a　candle；　looking　anxious；　pale；　and　interesting。　　Yeobright　appeared　glad　to　see　her；　and　pressed　her　hand。　　“That’s　right；　Tamsie；”　he　said　heartily；　as　though　recalled　to　himself　by　the　sight　of　her；　“you　have　decided　to　e　down。　　I　am　glad　of　it。”
“Hush—no；　no；”　she　said　quickly。　　“I　only　came　to　speak　to　you。”
“But　why　not　join　us？”
“I　cannot。　　At　least　I　would　rather　not。　　I　am　not　well　enough；　and　we　shall　have　plenty　of　time　together　now　you　are　going　to　be　home　a　good　long　holiday。”
“It　isn’t　nearly　so　pleasant　without　you。　　Are　you　really　ill？”
“Just　a　little；　my　old　cousin—here；”　she　said；　playfully　sweeping　her　hand　across　her　heart。
“Ah；　Mother　should　have　asked　somebody　else　to　be　present　tonight；　perhaps？”
“O　no；　indeed。　　I　merely　stepped　down；　Clym；　to　ask　you—“　Here　he　followed　her　through　the　doorway　into　the　private　room　beyond；　and；　the　door　closing；　Eustacia　and　the　mummer　who　sat　next　to　her；　the　only　other　witness　of　the　performance；　saw　and　heard　no　more。　
The　heat　flew　to　Eustacia’s　head　and　cheeks。　　She　instantly　guessed　that　Clym；　having　been　home　only　these　two　or　three　days；　had　not　as　yet　been　made　acquainted　with　Thomasin’s　painful　situation　with　regard　to　Wildeve；　and　seeing　her　living　there　just　as　she　had　been　living　before　he　left　home；　he　naturally　suspected　nothing。　　Eustacia　felt　a　wild　jealousy　of　Thomasin　on　the　instant。　　Though　Thomasin　might　possibly　have　tender　sentiments　towards　another　man　as　yet；　how　long　could　they　be　expected　to　last　when　she　was　shut　up　here　with　this　interesting　and　travelled　cousin　of　hers？　　There　was　no　knowing　what　affection　might　not　soon　break　out　between　the　two；　so　constantly　in　each　other’s　society；　and　not　a　distracting　object　near。　　Clym’s　boyish　love　for　her　might　have　languished；　but　it　might　easily　be　revived　again。　
Eustacia　was　nettled　by　her　own　contrivances。　　What　a　sheer　waste　of　herself　to　be　dressed　thus　while　another　was　shining　to　advantage！　Had　she　known　the　full　effect　of　the　encounter　she　would　have　moved　heaven　and　earth　to　get　here　in　a　natural　manner。　　The　power　of　her　face　all　lost；　the　charm　of　her　emotions　all　disguised；　the　fascinations　of　her　coquetry　denied　existence；　nothing　but　a　voice　left　to　her；　she　had　a　sense　of　the　doom　of　Echo。　　“Nobody　here　respects　me；”　she　said。　　She　had　overlooked　the　fact　that；　in　ing　as　a　boy　among　other　boys；　she　would　be　treated　as　a　boy。　　The　slight；　though　of　her　own　causing；　and　self…explanatory；　she　was　unable　to　dismiss　as　unwittingly　shown；　so　sensitive　had　the　situation　made　her。　
Women　have　done　much　for　themselves　in　histrionic　dress。　　To　look　far　below　those　who；　like　a　certain　fair　personator　of　Polly　Peachum　early　in　the　last　century；　and　another　of　Lydia　Languish　early　in　this；　＇1＇　have　won　not　only　love　but　ducal　coronets　into　the　bargain；　whole　shoals　of　them　have　reached　to　the　initial　satisfaction　of　getting　love　almost　whence　they　would。　　But　the　Turkish　Knight　was　denied　even　the　chance　of　achieving　this　by　the　fluttering　ribbons　which　she　dared　not　brush　aside。　
＇1＇　Written　in　1877。
Yeobright　returned　to　the　room　without　his　cousin。　　When　within　two　or　three　feet　of　Eustacia　he　stopped；　as　if　again　arrested　by　a　thought。　　He　was　gazing　at　her。　　She　looked　another　way；　disconcerted；　and　wondered　how　long　this　purgatory　was　to　last。　　After　lingering　a　few　seconds　he　passed　on　again。　
To　court　their　own　disfiture　by　love　is　a　mon　instinct　with　certain　perfervid　women。　　Conflicting　sensations　of　love；　fear；　and　shame　reduced　Eustacia　to　a　state　of　the　utmost　uneasiness。　　To　escape　was　her　great　and　immediate　desire。　　The　other　mummers　appeared　to　be　in　no　hurry　to　leave；　and　murmuring　to　the　lad　who　sat　next　to　her　that　she　preferred　waiting　for　them　outside　the　house；　she　moved　to　the　door　as　imperceptibly　as　possible；　opened　it；　and　slipped　out。　
The　calm；　lone　scene　reassured　her。　　She　went　forward　to　the　palings　and　leant　over　them；　looking　at　the　moon。　　She　had　stood　thus　but　a　little　time　when　the　door　again　opened。　　Expecting　to　see　the　remainder　of　the　band　Eustacia　turned；　but　no—Clym　Yeobright　came　out　as　softly　as　she　had　done；　and　closed　the　door　behind　him。　
He　advanced　and　stood　beside　her。　　“I　have　an　odd　opinion；”　he　said；　“and　should　like　to　ask　you　a　question。　　Are　you　a　woman—or　am　I　wrong？”
“I　am　a　woman。”
His　eyes　lingered　on　her　with　great　interest。　　“Do　girls　often　play　as　mummers　now？　　They　never　used　to。”
“They　don’t　now。”
“Why　did　you？”
“To　get　excitement　and　shake　off　depression；”　she　said　in　low　tones。　
“What　depressed　you？”
“Life。”
“That’s　a　cause　of　depression　a　good　many　have　to　put　up　with。”
“Yes。”
A　long　silence。　　“And　do　you　find　excitement？”　asked　Clym　at　last。
“At　this　moment；　perhaps。”
“Then　you　are　vexed　at　being　discovered？”
“Yes；　though　I　thought　I　might　be。”
“I　would　gladly　have　asked　you　to　our　party　had　I　known　you　wished　to　e。　　Have　I　ever　been　acquainted　with　you　in　my　youth？”
“Never。”
“Won’t　you　e　in　again；　and　stay　as　long　as　you　like？”
“No。　I　wish　not　to　be　further　recognized。”
“Well；　you　are　safe　with　me。”　　After　remaining　in　thought　a　minute　he　added　gently；　“I　will　not　intrude　upon　you　longer。　　It　is　a　strange　way　of　meeting；　and　I　will　not　ask　why　I　find　a　cultivated　woman　playing　such　a　part　as　this。”　She　did　not　volunteer　the　reason　which　he　seemed　to　hope　for；　and　he　wished　her　good　night；　going　thence　round　to　the　back　of　the　house；　where　he　walked　up　and　down　by　himself　for　some　time　before　re…entering。　
Eustacia；　warmed　with　an　inner　fire；　could　not　wait　for　her　panions　after　this。　　She　flung　back　the　ribbons　from　her　face；　opened　the　gate；　and　at　once　struck　into　the　heath。　　She　did　not　hasten　along。　　Her　grandfather　was　in　bed　at　this　hour；　for　she　so　frequently　walked　upon　the　hills　on　moonlight　nights　that　he　took　no　notice　of　her　ings　and　goings；　and；　enjoying　himself　in　his　own　way；　left　her　to　do　likewise。　　A　more　important　subject　than　that　of　getting　indoors　now　engrossed　her。　　Yeobright；　if　he　had　the　least　curiosity；　would　infallibly　discover　her　name。　　What　then？　　She　first　felt　a　sort　of　exultation　at　the　way　in　which　the　adventure　had　terminated；　even　though　at　moments　between　her　exultations　she　was　abashed　and　blushful。　　Then　this　consideration　recurred　to　chill　her：　What　was　the　use　of　her　exploit？　　She　was　at　present　a　total　stranger　to　the　Yeobright　family。　　The　unreas