还乡The Return Of The Native-第38部分

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way　which　we　shall　both　regret。”
His　mother　parted　her　lips　to　begin　some　other　vehement　truth；　but　on　looking　at　him　she　saw　that　in　his　face　which　led　her　to　leave　the　words　unsaid。　　Yeobright　walked　once　or　twice　across　the　room；　and　then　suddenly　went　out　of　the　house。　　It　was　eleven　o’clock　when　he　came　in；　though　he　had　not　been　further　than　the　precincts　of　the　garden。　　His　mother　was　gone　to　bed。　　A　light　was　left　burning　on　the　table；　and　supper　was　spread。　　Without　stopping　for　any　food　he　secured　the　doors　and　went　upstairs。　


4　… An　Hour　of　Bliss　and　Many　Hours　of　Sadness


The　next　day　was　gloomy　enough　at　Blooms…End。　Yeobright　remained　in　his　study；　sitting　over　the　open　books；　but　the　work　of　those　hours　was　miserably　scant。　　Determined　that　there　should　be　nothing　in　his　conduct　towards　his　mother　resembling　sullenness；　he　had　occasionally　spoken　to　her　on　passing　matters；　and　would　take　no　notice　of　the　brevity　of　her　replies。　　With　the　same　resolve　to　keep　up　a　show　of　conversation　he　said；　about　seven　o’clock　in　the　evening；　“There’s　an　eclipse　of　the　moon　tonight。　　I　am　going　out　to　see　it。”　　And；　putting　on　his　overcoat；　he　left　her。　
The　low　moon　was　not　as　yet　visible　from　the　front　of　the　house；　and　Yeobright　climbed　out　of　the　valley　until　he　stood　in　the　full　flood　of　her　light。　　But　even　now　he　walked　on；　and　his　steps　were　in　the　direction　of　Rainbarrow。　
In　half　an　hour　he　stood　at　the　top。　　The　sky　was　clear　from　verge　to　verge；　and　the　moon　flung　her　rays　over　the　whole　heath；　but　without　sensibly　lighting　it；　except　where　paths　and　water…courses　had　laid　bare　the　white　flints　and　glistening　quartz　sand；　which　made　streaks　upon　the　general　shade。　　After　standing　awhile　he　stooped　and　felt　the　heather。　　It　was　dry；　and　he　flung　himself　down　upon　the　barrow；　his　face　towards　the　moon；　which　depicted　a　small　image　of　herself　in　each　of　his　eyes。　
He　had　often　e　up　here　without　stating　his　purpose　to　his　mother；　but　this　was　the　first　time　that　he　had　been　ostensibly　frank　as　to　his　purpose　while　really　concealing　it。　　It　was　a　moral　situation　which；　three　months　earlier；　he　could　hardly　have　credited　of　himself。　　In　returning　to　labour　in　this　sequestered　spot　he　had　anticipated　an　escape　from　the　chafing　of　social　necessities；　yet　behold　they　were　here　also。　　More　than　ever　he　longed　to　be　in　some　world　where　personal　ambition　was　not　the　only　recognized　form　of　progress—such；　perhaps；　as　might　have　been　the　case　at　some　time　or　other　in　the　silvery　globe　then　shining　upon　him。　　His　eye　travelled　over　the　length　and　breadth　of　that　distant　country—over　the　Bay　of　Rainbows；　the　sombre　Sea　of　Crises；　the　Ocean　of　Storms；　the　Lake　of　Dreams；　the　vast　Walled　Plains；　and　the　wondrous　Ring　Mountains—till　he　almost　felt　himself　to　be　voyaging　bodily　through　its　wild　scenes；　standing　on　its　hollow　hills；　traversing　its　deserts；　descending　its　vales　and　old　sea　bottoms；　or　mounting　to　the　edges　of　its　craters。　
While　he　watched　the　far…removed　landscape　a　tawny　stain　grew　into　being　on　the　lower　verge—the　eclipse　had　begun。　　This　marked　a　preconcerted　moment—for　the　remote　celestial　phenomenon　had　been　pressed　into　sublunary　service　as　a　lover’s　signal。　　Yeobright’s　mind　flew　back　to　earth　at　the　sight；　he　arose；　shook　himself　and　listened。　　Minute　after　minute　passed　by；　perhaps　ten　minutes　passed；　and　the　shadow　on　the　moon　perceptibly　widened。　　He　heard　a　rustling　on　his　left　hand；　a　cloaked　figure　with　an　upturned　face　appeared　at　the　base　of　the　Barrow；　and　Clym　descended。　　In　a　moment　the　figure　was　in　his　arms；　and　his　lips　upon　hers。　
“My　Eustacia！”
“Clym；　dearest！”
Such　a　situation　had　less　than　three　months　brought　forth。　
They　remained　long　without　a　single　utterance；　for　no　language　could　reach　the　level　of　their　condition—words　were　as　the　rusty　implements　of　a　by…gone　barbarous　epoch；　and　only　to　be　occasionally　tolerated。　
“I　began　to　wonder　why　you　did　not　e；”　said　Yeobright；　when　she　had　withdrawn　a　little　from　his　embrace。　
“You　said　ten　minutes　after　the　first　mark　of　shade　on　the　edge　of　the　moon；　and　that’s　what　it　is　now。”
“Well；　let　us　only　think　that　here　we　are。”
Then；　holding　each　other’s　hand；　they　were　again　silent；　and　the　shadow　on　the　moon’s　disc　grew　a　little　larger。　
“Has　it　seemed　long　since　you　last　saw　me？”　she　asked。　
“It　has　seemed　sad。”
“And　not　long？　　That’s　because　you　occupy　yourself；　and　so　blind　yourself　to　my　absence。　　To　me；　who　can　do　nothing；　it　has　been　like　living　under　stagnant　water。”
“I　would　rather　bear　tediousness；　dear；　than　have　time　made　short　by　such　means　as　have　shortened　mine。”
“In　what　way　is　that？　　You　have　been　thinking　you　wished　you　did　not　love　me。”
“How　can　a　man　wish　that；　and　yet　love　on？　　No；　Eustacia。”
“Men　can；　women　cannot。”
“Well；　whatever　I　may　have　thought；　one　thing　is　certain—I　do　love　you—past　all　pass　and　description。　　I　love　you　to　oppressiveness—I；　who　have　never　before　felt　more　than　a　pleasant　passing　fancy　for　any　woman　I　have　ever　seen。　　Let　me　look　right　into　your　moonlit　face　and　dwell　on　every　line　and　curve　in　it！　Only　a　few　hairbreadths　make　the　difference　between　this　face　and　faces　I　have　seen　many　times　before　I　knew　you；　yet　what　a　difference—the　difference　between　everything　and　nothing　at　all。　　One　touch　on　that　mouth　again！　there；　and　there；　and　there。
Your　eyes　seem　heavy；　Eustacia。”
“No；　it　is　my　general　way　of　looking。　　I　think　it　arises　from　my　feeling　sometimes　an　agonizing　pity　for　myself　that　I　ever　was　born。”
“You　don’t　feel　it　now？”
“No。　Yet　I　know　that　we　shall　not　love　like　this　always。　　Nothing　can　ensure　the　continuance　of　love。　　It　will　evaporate　like　a　spirit；　and　so　I　feel　full　of　fears。”
“You　need　not。”
“Ah；　you　don’t　know。　　You　have　seen　more　than　I；　and　have　been　into　cities　and　among　people　that　I　have　only　heard　of；　and　have　lived　more　years　than　I；　but　yet　I　am　older　at　this　than　you。　　I　loved　another　man　once；　and　now　I　love　you。”
“In　God’s　mercy　don’t　talk　so；　Eustacia！”
“But　I　do　not　think　I　shall　be　the　one　who　wearies　first。　　It　will；　I　fear；　end　in　this　way：　your　mother　will　find　out　that　you　meet　me；　and　she　will　influence　you　against　me！”
“That　can　never　be。　　She　knows　of　these　meetings　already。”
“And　she　speaks　against　me？”
“I　will　not　say。”
“There；　go　away！　Obey　her。　　I　shall　ruin　you。　　It　is　foolish　of　you　to　meet　me　like　this。　　Kiss　me；　and　go　away　forever。　　Forever—do　you　hear？forever！”
“Not　I。”
“It　is　your　only　chance。　　Many　a　man’s　love　has　been　a　curse　to　him。”
“You　are　desperate；　full　of　fancies；　and　wilful；　and　you　misunderstand。　　I　have　an　additional　reason　for　seeing　you　tonight　besides　love　of　you。　　For　though；　unlike　you；　I　feel　our　affection　may　be　eternal。　　I　feel　with　you　in　this；　that　our　present　mode　of　existence　cannot　last。”
“Oh！　‘tis　your　mother。　　Yes；　that’s　it！　I　knew　it。”
“Never　mind　what　it　is。　　Believe　this；　I　cannot　let　myself　lose　you。　　I　must　have　you　always　with　me。　　This　very　evening　I　do　not　like　to　let　you　go。　　There　is　only　one　cure　for　this　anxiety；　dearest—you　must　be　my　wife。”
She　started—then　endeavoured　to　say　calmly；　“Cynics　say　that　cures　the　anxiety　by　curing　the　love。”
“But　you　must　answer　me。　　Shall　I　claim　you　some　day—I　don’t　mean　at　once？”
“I　must　think；”　Eustacia　murmured。　　“At　present　speak　of　Paris　to　me。　　Is　there　any　place　like　it　on　earth？”
“It　is　very　beautiful。　　But　will　you　be　mine？”
“I　will　be　nobody　else’s　in　the　world—does　that　satisfy　you？”
“Yes；　for　the　present。”
“Now　tell　me　of　the　Tuileries；　and　the　Louvre；”　she　continued　evasively。　
“I　hate　talking　of　Paris！　Well；　I　remember　one　sunny　room　in　the　Louvre　which　would　make　a　fitting　place　for　you　to　live　in—the　Galerie　d’Apollon。　Its　windows　are　mainly　east；　and　in　the　early　morning；　when　the　sun　is　bright；　the　whole　apartment　is　in　a　perfect　blaze　of　splendour。　　The　rays　bristle　and　dart　from　the　encrustations　of　gilding　to　the　magnificent　inlaid　coffers；　from　the　coffers　to　the　gold　and　silver　plate；　from　the　plate　to　the　jewels　and　precious　stones；　from　these　to　the　enamels；　till　there　is　a　perfect　network　of　light　which　quite　dazzles　the　eye。
But　now；　about　our　marriage“
“And　Versailles—the　King’s　Gallery　is　some　such　gorgeous　room；　is　it　not？”
“Yes。　But　what’s　the　use　of　talking　of　gorgeous　rooms？　　By　the　way；　the　Little　Trianon　would　suit　us　beautifully　to　live　in；　and　you　might　walk　in　the　gardens　in　the　moonlight　and　think　you　were　in　some　English　shrubbery；
It　is　laid　out　in　English　fashion。”
“I　should　hate　to　think　that！”
“Then　you　could　keep　to　the　lawn　in　front　of　the　Grand　Palace。　　All　about　there　you　would　doubtless　feel　in　a　world　of　historical　romance。”
He　went　on；　since　it　was　all　new　to　her；　and　described　Fontainebleau；　St。　Cloud；　the　Bois；　and　many　other　familiar　haunts　of　the　Parisians；　till　she　said—
“When　used　you　to　go　to　these　places？”
“On　Sundays。”
“Ah；　yes。　　I　dislike　English　Sundays。　　How　I　should　chime　in　with　their　manners　over　there！　Dear　Clym；　you’ll　go　back　again？”
Clym　shook　his　head；　and　looked　at　the　eclipse。　
“If　you’ll　go　back　again　I’ll—be　something；”　she　said　tenderly；　putting　her　head　near　his　breast。　　“If　you’ll　agree　I’ll　give　my　promise；　without　making　you　wait　a　minute　longer。”
“How　extraordinary　that　you　and　my　mother　should　be　of　one　mind　about　this！”　said　Yeobright。　　“I　have　vowed　not　to　go　back；　Eustacia。　　It　is　not　the　place　I　dislike；　it　is　the　occupation。”
“But　you　can　go　in　some　other　capacity。”
“No。　Besides；　it　would　interfere　with　my　scheme。　
Don’t　press　that；　Eustacia。　　Will　you　marry　me？”
“I　cannot　tell。”
“Now—never　mind　Paris；　it　is　no　better　than　other　spots。　
Promise；　sweet！”
“You　will　never　adhere　to　your　education　plan；　I　am　quite　sure；　and　then　it　will　be　all　right　for　me；　and　so　I　promise　to　be　yours　for　ever　and　ever。”
Clym　brought　her　face　towards　his　by　a　gentle　pressure　of　the　hand；　and　kissed　her。　
“Ah！　but　you　don’t　know　what　you　have　got　in　me；”　she　said。　　“Sometimes　I　think　there　is　not　that　in　Eustacia　Vye　which　will　make　a　good　homespun　wife。　　Well；　let　it　go—see　how　our　time　is