还乡The Return Of The Native-第59部分

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“I　used　to　tell　her　not　to　overwalk　herself　this　weather；”　said　Clym；　with　distress。　　“Do　you　think　we　did　well　in　using　the　adder’s　fat？”
“Well；　it　is　a　very　ancient　remedy—the　old　remedy　of　the　viper…catchers；　I　believe；”　replied　the　doctor。　　“It　is　mentioned　as　an　infallible　ointment　by　Hoffman；　Mead；　and　I　think　the　Abbe　Fontana。　　Undoubtedly　it　was　as　good　a　thing　as　you　could　do；　though　I　question　if　some　other　oils　would　not　have　been　equally　efficacious。”
“e　here；　e　here！”　was　then　rapidly　said　in　anxious　female　tones；　and　Clym　and　the　doctor　could　be　heard　rushing　forward　from　the　back　part　of　the　shed　to　where　Mrs。　Yeobright　lay。　
“Oh；　what　is　it？”　whispered　Eustacia。　
“’Twas　Thomasin　who　spoke；”　said　Wildeve。　　“Then　they　have　fetched　her。　　I　wonder　if　I　had　better　go　in—yet　it　might　do　harm。”
For　a　long　time　there　was　utter　silence　among　the　group　within；　and　it　was　broken　at　last　by　Clym　saying；　in　an　agonized　voice；　“O　Doctor；　what　does　it　mean？”
The　doctor　did　not　reply　at　once；　ultimately　he　said；　“She　is　sinking　fast。　　Her　heart　was　previously　affected；　and　physical　exhaustion　has　dealt　the　finishing　blow。”
Then　there　was　a　weeping　of　women；　then　waiting；　then　hushed　exclamations；　then　a　strange　gasping　sound；　then　a　painful　stillness。　
“It　is　all　over；”　said　the　doctor。　
Further　back　in　the　hut　the　cotters　whispered；　“Mrs。　Yeobright　is　dead。”
Almost　at　the　same　moment　the　two　watchers　observed　the　form　of　a　small　old…fashioned　child　entering　at　the　open　side　of　the　shed。　　Susan　Nunsuch；　whose　boy　it　was；　went　forward　to　the　opening　and　silently　beckoned　to　him　to　go　back。　
“I’ve　got　something　to　tell　‘ee；　Mother；”　he　cried　in　a　shrill　tone。　　“That　woman　asleep　there　walked　along　with　me　today；　and　she　said　I　was　to　say　that　I　had　seed　her；　and　she　was　a　broken…hearted　woman　and　cast　off　by　her　son；　and　then　I　came　on　home。”
A　confused　sob　as　from　a　man　was　heard　within；　upon　which　Eustacia　gasped　faintly；　“That’s　Clym—I　must　go　to　him—yet　dare　I　do　it？　　No—e　away！”
When　they　had　withdrawn　from　the　neighbourhood　of　the　shed　she　said　huskily；　“I　am　to　blame　for　this。　　There　is　evil　in　store　for　me。”
“Was　she　not　admitted　to　your　house　after　all？”
Wildeve　inquired。　
“No；　and　that’s　where　it　all　lies！　Oh；　what　shall　I　do！　I　shall　not　intrude　upon　them—I　shall　go　straight　home。　　Damon；　good…bye！　I　cannot　speak　to　you　any　more　now。”
They　parted　pany；　and　when　Eustacia　had　reached　the　next　hill　she　looked　back。　　A　melancholy　procession　was　wending　its　way　by　the　light　of　the　lantern　from　the　hut　towards　Blooms…End。　Wildeve　was　nowhere　to　be　seen。　


book　five
THE　DISCOVERY


1　… “Wherefore　Is　Light　Given　to　Him　That　Is　in　Misery”


One　evening；　about　three　weeks　after　the　funeral　of　Mrs。　Yeobright；　when　the　silver　face　of　the　moon　sent　a　bundle　of　beams　directly　upon　the　floor　of　Clym’s　house　at　Alderworth；　a　woman　came　forth　from　within。　　She　reclined　over　the　garden　gate　as　if　to　refresh　herself　awhile。　　The　pale　lunar　touches　which　make　beauties　of　hags　lent　divinity　to　this　face；　already　beautiful。　
She　had　not　long　been　there　when　a　man　came　up　the　road　and　with　some　hesitation　said　to　her；　“How　is　he　tonight；　ma’am；　if　you　please？”
“He　is　better；　though　still　very　unwell；　Humphrey；”　replied　Eustacia。　
“Is　he　light…headed；　ma’am？”
“No。　He　is　quite　sensible　now。”
“Do　he　rave　about　his　mother　just　the　same；　poor　fellow？”　continued　Humphrey。　
“Just　as　much；　though　not　quite　so　wildly；”　she　said　in　a　low　voice。　
“It　was　very　unfortunate；　ma’am；　that　the　boy　Johnny　should　ever　ha’　told　him　his　mother’s　dying　words；　about　her　being　broken…hearted　and　cast　off　by　her　son。　　‘Twas　enough　to　upset　any　man　alive。”
Eustacia　made　no　reply　beyond　that　of　a　slight　catch　in　her　breath；　as　of　one　who　fain　would　speak　but　could　not；　and　Humphrey；　declining　her　invitation　to　e　in；　went　away。　
Eustacia　turned；　entered　the　house；　and　ascended　to　the　front　bedroom；　where　a　shaded　light　was　burning。　　In　the　bed　lay　Clym；　pale；　haggard；　wide　awake；　tossing　to　one　side　and　to　the　other；　his　eyes　lit　by　a　hot　light；　as　if　the　fire　in　their　pupils　were　burning　up　their　substance。　
“Is　it　you；　Eustacia？”　he　said　as　she　sat　down。　
“Yes；　Clym。　　I　have　been　down　to　the　gate。　　The　moon　is　shining　beautifully；　and　there　is　not　a　leaf　stirring。”
“Shining；　is　it？　　What’s　the　moon　to　a　man　like　me？　　Let　it　shine—let　anything　be；　so　that　I　never　see　another　day！。。。Eustacia；　I　don’t　know　where　to　look—my　thoughts　go　through　me　like　swords。　　O；　if　any　man　wants　to　make　himself　immortal　by　painting　a　picture　of　wretchedness；　let　him　e　here！”
“Why　do　you　say　so？”
“I　cannot　help　feeling　that　I　did　my　best　to　kill　her。”
“No；　Clym。”
“Yes；　it　was　so；　it　is　useless　to　excuse　me！　My　conduct　to　her　was　too　hideous—I　made　no　advances；　and　she　could　not　bring　herself　to　forgive　me。　　Now　she　is　dead！　　If　I　had　only　shown　myself　willing　to　make　it　up　with　her　sooner；　and　we　had　been　friends；　and　then　she　had　died；　it　wouldn’t　be　so　hard　to　bear。　　But　I　never　went　near　her　house；　so　she　never　came　near　mine；　and　didn’t　know　how　wele　she　would　have　been—that’s　what　troubles　me。　　She　did　not　know　I　was　going　to　her　house　that　very　night；　for　she　was　too　insensible　to　understand　me。　　If　she　had　only　e　to　see　me！　I　longed　that　she　would。　　But　it　was　not　to　be。”
There　escaped　from　Eustacia　one　of　those　shivering　sighs　which　used　to　shake　her　like　a　pestilent　blast。　　She　had　not　yet　told。　
But　Yeobright　was　too　deeply　absorbed　in　the　ramblings　incidental　to　his　remorseful　state　to　notice　her。　　During　his　illness　he　had　been　continually　talking　thus。　　Despair　had　been　added　to　his　original　grief　by　the　unfortunate　disclosure　of　the　boy　who　had　received　the　last　words　of　Mrs。　Yeobright—words　too　bitterly　uttered　in　an　hour　of　misapprehension。　　Then　his　distress　had　overwhelmed　him；　and　he　longed　for　death　as　a　field　labourer　longs　for　the　shade。　　It　was　the　pitiful　sight　of　a　man　standing　in　the　very　focus　of　sorrow。　　He　continually　bewailed　his　tardy　journey　to　his　mother’s　house；　because　it　was　an　error　which　could　never　be　rectified；　and　insisted　that　he　must　have　been　horribly　perverted　by　some　fiend　not　to　have　thought　before　that　it　was　his　duty　to　go　to　her；　since　she　did　not　e　to　him。　　He　would　ask　Eustacia　to　agree　with　him　in　his　self…condemnation；　and　when　she；　seared　inwardly　by　a　secret　she　dared　not　tell；　declared　that　she　could　not　give　an　opinion；　he　would　say；　“That’s　because　you　didn’t　know　my　mother’s　nature。　　She　was　always　ready　to　forgive　if　asked　to　do　so；　but　I　seemed　to　her　to　be　as　an　obstinate　child；　and　that　made　her　unyielding。　　Yet　not　unyielding—she　was　proud　and　reserved；　no　more。。。。Yes；　I　can　understand　why　she　held　out　against　me　so　long。　　She　was　waiting　for　me。　　I　dare　say　she　said　a　hundred　times　in　her　sorrow；　‘What　a　return　he　makes　for　all　the　sacrifices　I　have　made　for　him！’　I　never　went　to　her！　When　I　set　out　to　visit　her　it　was　too　late。　　To　think　of　that　is　nearly　intolerable！”
Sometimes　his　condition　had　been　one　of　utter　remorse；　unsoftened　by　a　single　tear　of　pure　sorrow：　and　then　he　writhed　as　he　lay；　fevered　far　more　by　thought　than　by　physical　ills。　　“If　I　could　only　get　one　assurance　that　she　did　not　die　in　a　belief　that　I　was　resentful；”　he　said　one　day　when　in　this　mood；　“it　would　be　better　to　think　of　than　a　hope　of　heaven。　　But　that　I　cannot　do。”
“You　give　yourself　up　too　much　to　this　wearying　despair；”　said　Eustacia。　　“Other　men’s　mothers　have　died。”
“That　doesn’t　make　the　loss　of　mine　less。　　Yet　it　is　less　the　loss　than　the　circumstances　of　the　loss。　　I　sinned　against　her；　and　on　that　account　there　is　no　light　for　me。”
“She　sinned　against　you；　I　think。”
“No；　she　did　not。　　I　mitted　the　guilt；　and　may　the　whole　burden　be　upon　my　head！”
“I　think　you　might　consider　twice　before　you　say　that；”　Eustacia　replied。　　“Single　men　have；　no　doubt；　a　right　to　curse　themselves　as　much　as　they　please；　but　men　with　wives　involve　two　in　the　doom　they　pray　down。”
“I　am　in　too　sorry　a　state　to　understand　what　you　are　refining　on；”　said　the　wretched　man。　　“Day　and　night　shout　at　me；　‘You　have　helped　to　kill　her。’　But　in　loathing　myself　I　may；　I　own；　be　unjust　to　you；　my　poor　wife。　　Forgive　me　for　it；　Eustacia；　for　I　scarcely　know　what　I　do。”
Eustacia　was　always　anxious　to　avoid　the　sight　of　her　husband　in　such　a　state　as　this；　which　had　bee　as　dreadful　to　her　as　the　trial　scene　was　to　Judas　Iscariot。　　It　brought　before　her　eyes　the　spectre　of　a　worn…out　woman　knocking　at　a　door　which　she　would　not　open；　and　she　shrank　from　contemplating　it。　　Yet　it　was　better　for　Yeobright　himself　when　he　spoke　openly　of　his　sharp　regret；　for　in　silence　he　endured　infinitely　more；　and　would　sometimes　remain　so　long　in　a　tense；　brooding　mood；　consuming　himself　by　the　gnawing　of　his　thought；　that　it　was　imperatively　necessary　to　make　him　talk　aloud；　that　his　grief　might　in　some　degree　expend　itself　in　the　effort。
Eustacia　had　not　been　long　indoors　after　her　look　at　the　moonlight　when　a　soft　footstep　came　up　to　the　house；　and　Thomasin　was　announced　by　the　woman　downstairs。　
“Ah；　Thomasin！　Thank　you　for　ing　tonight；”　said　Clym　when　she　entered　the　room。　　“Here　am　I；　you　see。　　Such　a　wretched　spectacle　am　I；　that　I　shrink　from　being　seen　by　a　single　friend；　and　almost　from　you。”
“You　must　not　shrink　from　me；　dear　Clym；”　said　Thomasin　earnestly；　in　that　sweet　voice　of　hers　which　came　to　a　sufferer　like　fresh　air　into　a　Black　Hole。　　“Nothing　in　you　can　ever　shock　me　or　drive　me　away。　
I　have　been　here　before；　but　you　don’t　remember　it。”
“Yes；　I　do；　I　am　not　delirious；　Thomasin；　nor　have　I　been　so　at　all。　　Don’t　you　believe　that　if　they　say　so。　　I　am　only　in　great　misery　at　what　I　have　done；　and　that；　with　the　weakness；　makes　me　seem　mad。　　But　it　has　not　upset　my　reason。　　Do　you　think　I　should　remember　all　about　my　mother’s　death　if　I　were　out　of　my　mind？　　No　such　good　luck。　　Two　months　and　a　half；　Thomasin；　the　last　of　her　life；　did　my　poor　mother　live　alone；　distracted　and　mourning　because　of　me；　yet　she　was　unvisited　by　me；　though　I　was　living　only　six　miles　off。　　Two　months　an