the garden of allah-第104部分

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before　we　reach　Beni…Mora。〃

〃Let　it　be　night；〃　he　said。　〃Dark　night！〃

The　horses　moved　slowly　on；　descending　the　hill　on　which　stood　the
bordj。

〃Darkdark　night！〃　he　said　again。

She　said　nothing。　They　rode　into　the　plain。　When　they　were　there　he
said：

〃Domini；　do　you　understanddo　you　realise？〃

〃What；　Boris？〃　she　asked　quietly。

〃All　that　we　are　leaving　to…day？〃

〃Yes；　I　understand。〃

〃Are　weare　we　leaving　it　for　ever？〃

〃We　must　not　think　of　that。〃

〃How　can　we　help　it？　What　else　can　we　think　of？　Can　one　govern　the
mind？〃

〃Surely；　if　we　can　govern　the　heart。〃

〃Sometimes；〃　he　said；　〃sometimes　I　wonder〃

He　looked　at　her。　Something　in　her　face　made　it　impossible　for　him　to
go　on；　to　say　what　he　had　been　going　to　say。　But　she　understood　the
unfinished　sentence。

〃If　you　can　wonder；　Boris；〃　she　said；　〃you　don't　know　me；　you　don't
know　me　at　all！〃

〃Domini；〃　he　said；　〃I　don't　wonder。　But　sometimes　I　understand　your
strength；　and　sometimes　it　seems　to　me　scarcely　human；　scarcely　the
strength　of　a　woman。〃

She　lifted　her　whip　and　pointed　to　the　dark　shadow　far　away。

〃I　can　just　see　the　tower；〃　she　said。　〃Can't　you？〃

〃I　will　not　look；〃　he　said。　〃I　cannot。　If　you　can；　you　are　stronger
than　I。　When　I　remember　that　it　was　on　that　tower　you　first　spoke　to
meoh；　Domini；　if　we　could　only　go　back！　It　is　in　our　power。　We　have
only　to　draw　a　rein　andand〃

〃I　look　at　the　tower；〃　she　said；　〃as　once　I　looked　at　the　desert。　It
calls　us；　the　shadow　of　the　palm　trees　calls　us；　as　once　the　desert
did。〃

〃But　the　voicewhat　a　different　voice！　Can　you　listen　to　it？〃

〃I　have　been　listening　to　it　ever　since　we　left　Amara。　Yes；　it　is　a
different　voice；　but　we　must　obey　it　as　we　obeyed　the　voice　of　the
desert。　Don't　you　feel　that？〃

〃If　I　do　it　is　because　you　tell　me　to　feel　it；　you　tell　me　that　I　must
feel　it。〃

His　words　seemed　to　hurt　her。　An　expression　of　pain　came　into　her
face。

〃Boris；〃　she　said；　〃don't　make　me　regret　too　terribly　that　I　ever　came
into　your　life。　When　you　speak　like　that　I　feel　almost　as　if　you　were
putting　me　in　the　place　ofofI　feel　as　if　you　were　depending　upon
me　for　everything　that　you　are　doing；　as　if　you　were　letting　your　own
will　fall　asleep。　The　desert　brings　dreams。　I　know　that。　But　we；　you
and　I；　we　must　not　dream　any　more。〃

〃A　dream；　you　call　itthe　life　we　have　lived　together；　our　desert
life？〃

〃Boris；　I　only　mean　that　we　must　live　strongly　now；　act　strongly　now；
that　we　must　be　brave。　I　have　always　felt　that　there　was　strength　in
you。〃

〃Strength！〃　he　said　bitterly。

〃Yes。　Otherwise　I　could　never　have　loved　you。　Don't　ever　prove　to　me
that　I　was　utterly　wrong。　I　can　bear　a　great　deal。　But　thatI　don't
feel　as　if　I　could　bear　that。〃

After　a　moment　he　answered：

〃I　will　try　to　give　you　nothing　more　to　bear　for　me。〃

And　he　lifted　his　eyes　and　fixed　them　upon　the　tower　with　a　sort　of
stern　intentness；　as　a　man　looks　at　something　cruel；　terrible。

She　saw　him　do　this。

〃Let　us　ride　quicker；〃　she　said。　〃To…night　we　must　be　in　Beni…Mora。〃

He　said　nothing；　but　he　touched　his　horse　with　his　heel。　His　eyes　were
always　fixed　upon　the　tower；　as　if　they　feared　to　look　at　the　desert
any　more。　She　understood　that　when　he　had　said　〃I　will　try　to　give　you
nothing　more　to　bear　for　me；〃　he　had　not　spoken　idly。　He　had　waked　up
from　the　egoism　of　his　despair。　He　had　been　able　to　see　more　clearly
into　her　heart；　to　feel　more　rightly　what　she　was　feeling　than　he　had
before。　As　she　watched　him　watching　the　tower；　she　had　a　sensation
that　a　bond；　a　new　bond　between　them；　was　chaining　them　together　in　a
new　way。　Was　it　not　a　bond　that　would　be　strong　and　lasting；　that　the
future；　whatever　it　held；　would　not　be　able　to　break？　Ties；　sacred
ties；　that　had　bound　them　together　might；　must；　be　snapped　asunder。
And　the　end　was　not　yet。　She　saw；　as　she　gazed　at　the　darkness　of　the
palms　of　Beni…Mora；　a　greater　darkness　approaching；　deeper　than　any
darkness　of　palms；　than　any　darkness　of　night。　But　now　she　saw　also　a
ray　of　light　in　the　gloom；　the　light　of　the　dawning　strength；　the
dawning　unselfishness　in　Androvsky。　And　she　resolved　to　fix　her　eyes
upon　it　as　he　fixed　his　eyes　upon　the　tower。

Just　after　sunset　they　rode　into　Beni…Mora　in　advance　of　the　camp；
which　they　had　passed　upon　their　way。　To　the　right　were　the　trees　of
Count　Anteoni's　garden。　Domini　felt　them；　but　she　did　not　look　towards
them。　Nor　did　Androvsky。　They　kept　their　eyes　fixed　upon　the　distance
of　the　white　road。　Only　when　they　reached　the　great　hotel；　now　closed
and　deserted；　did　she　glance　away。　She　could　not　pass　the　tower
without　seeing　it。　But　she　saw　it　through　a　mist　of　tears；　and　her
hands　trembled　upon　the　reins　they　held。　For　a　moment　she　felt　that
she　must　break　down；　that　she　had　no　more　strength　left　in　her。　But
they　came　to　the　statue　of　the　Cardinal　holding　the　double　cross
towards　the　desert　like　a　weapon。　And　she　looked　at　it　and　saw　the
Christ。

〃Boris；〃　she　whispered；　〃there　is　the　Christ。　Let　us　think　only　of
that　tonight。〃

She　saw　him　look　at　it　steadily。

〃You　remember；〃　she　said；　at　the　bottom　of　the　avenue　of　cypressesat
El…Largani/Factus　obediens　usque　ad　mortem　Crucis/？〃

〃Yes；　Domini。〃

〃We　can　be　obedient　too。　Let　us　be　obedient　too。〃

When　she　said　that；　and　looked　at　him；　Androvsky　felt　as　if　he　were　on
his　knees　before　her；　as　he　was　upon　his　knees　in　the　garden　when　he
could　not　go　away。　But　he　felt；　too；　that　then；　though　he　had　loved
her；　he　had　not　known　how　to　love　her；　how　to　love　anyone。　She　had
taught　him　now。　The　lesson　sank　into　his　heart　like　a　sword　and　like
balm。　It　was　as　if　he　were　slain　and　healed　by　the　same　stroke。

That　night；　as　Domini　lay　in　the　lonely　room　in　the　hotel；　with　the
French　windows　open　to　the　verandah；　she　heard　the　church　clock　chime
the　hour　and　the　distant　sound　of　the　African　hautboy　in　the　street　of
the　dancers；　she　heard　again　the　two　voices。　The　hautboy　was　barbarous
and　provocative；　but　she　thought　that　it　was　no　more　shrill　with　a
persistent　triumph。　Presently　the　church　bell　chimed　again。

Was　it　the　bell　of　the　church　of　Beni…Mora；　or　the　bell　of　the　chapel
of　El…Largani？　Or　was　it　not　rather　the　voice　of　the　great　religion　to
which　she　belonged；　to　which　Androvsky　was　returning？

When　it　ceased　she　whispered　to　herself；　〃/Factus　obediens　usque　ad
mortem　Crucis/。〃　And　with　these　words　upon　her　lips　towards　dawn　she
fell　asleep。　They　had　dined　upstairs　in　the　little　room　that　had
formerly　been　Domini's　salon；　and　had　not　seen　Father　Roubier；　who
always　came　to　the　hotel　to　take　his　evening　meal。　In　the　morning；
after　they　had　breakfasted；　Androvsky　said：

〃Domini；　I　will　go。　I　will　go　now。〃

He　got　up　and　stood　by　her；　looking　down　at　her。　In　his　face　there　was
a　sort　of　sternness；　a　set　expression。

〃To　Father　Roubier；　Boris？〃　she　said。

〃Yes。　Before　I　go　won't　youwon't　you　give　me　your　hand？〃

She　understood　all　the　agony　of　spirit　he　was　enduring；　all　the　shame
against　which　he　was　fighting。　She　longed　to　spring　up；　to　take　him　in
her　arms；　to　comfort　him　as　only　the　woman　he　loves　and　who　loves　him
can　comfort　a　man；　without　words；　by　the　pressure　of　her　arms；　the
pressure　of　her　lips；　the　beating　of　her　heart　against　his　heart。　She
longed　to　do　this　so　ardently　that　she　moved　restlessly；　looking　up　at
him　with　a　light　in　her　eyes　that　he　had　never　seen　in　them　before；
not　even　when　they　watched　the　fire　dying　down　at　Arba。　But　she　did
not　lift　her　hand　to　his。

〃Boris；〃　she　said；　〃go。　God　will　be　with　you。〃

After　a　moment　she　added：

〃And　all　my　heart。〃

He　stood；　as　if　waiting；　a　long　time。　She　had　ceased　from　moving　and
had　withdrawn　her　eyes　from　his。　In　his　soul　a　voice　was　saying；　〃If
she　does　not　touch　you　now　she　will　never　touch　you　again。〃　And　he
waited。　He　could　not　help　waiting。

〃Boris；〃　she　whispered；　〃good…bye。〃

〃Good…bye？〃　he　said。

〃Come　to　meafterwards。　Come　to　me　in　the　garden。　I　shall　be　there
where　weI　shall　be　there　waiting　for　you。〃

He　went　out　without　another　word。

When　he　was　gone　she　went　on　to　the　verandah　quickly　and　looked　over
the　parapet。　She　saw　him　come　out　from　beneath　the　arcade　and　walk
slowly　across　the　road　to　the　little　gate　of　the　enclosure　before　the
house　of　the　priest。　As　he　lifted　his　hands　to　open　the　gate　there　was
the　sound　of　a　bark；　and　she　saw　Bous…Bous　run　out　with　a　manner　of
stern　inquiry；　which　quickly　changed　to　joyful　welcome　as　he
recognised　an　old　acquaintance。　Androvsky　bent　down；　took　up　the
little　dog　in　his　arms；　and；　holding　him；　walked　to　the　house　door。　In
a　moment　it　was　opened　and　he　went　in。　Then　Domini　set　out　towards　the
garden；　avoiding　the　village　street；　and　taking　a　byway　which　skirted
the　desert。　She　walked　quickly。　She　longed　to　be　within　the　shadows　of
the　garden　behind　the　white　wall。　She　did　not　feel　much；　think　much；
as　she　walked。　Without　self…consciously　knowing　it　she　was　holding　all
her　nature；　the　whole　of　herself；　fiercely　in　check。　She　did　not　look
about　her；　did　not　see　the　sunlit　reaches　of　the　desert；　or　the　walls
of　the　houses　of　Beni…Mora；　or　the　palm　trees。　Only　when　she　had
passed　the　hotel　and　the　negro　village　and　turned　to　the　left；　to　the
track　at　the　edge　of　which　the　villa　of　Count　Anteoni　stood；　did　she
lift　her　eyes　from　the　ground。　They　rested　on　the　white　arcade　framing
the　fierce　blue　of　the　cloudless　sky。　She　stopped　short。　Her　nature
seemed　to　escape　from　the　leash　by　which　she　had　held　it　in　with　a
rush；　to　leap　forward；　to　be　in　the　garden　and　in　the　past；　in　the
past　with　its　passion　and　its　fiery　hopes；　its　magnificent　looking
forward；　its　holy　desires　of　joy　that　would　crown　her　woman's　life；　of
love　that　would　teach　her　all　the　depth；　and　the　height；　and　the　force
and　the　submission　of　her　womanhood。　And　then；　from　that　past；　it
strove　on　into　the　present。　The　shock　was　as　the　shock　of　battle。
There　were　noises　in　her　ears；　voices　clamouring　in　her　heart。　All　her
pulses　throbbed　like　hammers；　and　then　suddenly　she　felt　as　weak　as　a
little　sick　child；　and　as　if　she　must　lie　down　there　on　the　dust　of
the　white　road　in　the　sunshine；　lie　down　and　die　at　the　edge　of