the garden of allah-第11部分

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of　the　power　to　grant　blessings；　and　she　was　glad　that　she　had　come　to
Beni…Mora。　Her　lonely　sensation　of　the　previous　night　had　gone。　As　she
stood　in　the　sun　she　was　conscious　that　she　needed　re…creation　and
that　here　she　might　find　it。　The　radiant　sky；　the　warm　sun　and　the
freedom　of　the　coming　day　and　of　many　coming　desert　days；　filled　her
heart　with　an　almost　childish　sensation。　She　felt　younger　than　she　had
felt　for　years；　and　even　foolishly　innocent；　like　a　puppy　dog　or　a
kitten。　Her　thick　black　hair；　unbound；　fell　in　a　veil　round　her
strong；　active　body；　and　she　had　the　rare　consciousness　that　behind
that　other　more　mysterious　veil　her　soul　was　to…day　a　less　unfit
companion　for　its　mate　than　it　had　been　since　her　mother's　sin。

Cleanlinesswhat　a　blessed　condition　that　was；　a　condition　to　breed
bravery。　In　this　early　morning　hour　Beni…Mora　looked　magically　clean。
Domini　thought　of　the　desperate　dirt　of　London　mornings；　of　the　sooty
air　brooding　above　black　trees　and　greasy　pavements。　Surely　it　was
difficult　to　be　clean　of　soul　there。　Here　it　would　be　easy。　One　would
tune　one's　lyre　in　accord　with　Nature　and　be　as　a　singing　palm　tree
beside　a　water…spring。　She　took　up　a　little　vellum…bound　book　which
she　had　laid　at　night　upon　her　dressing…table。　It　was　/Of　the
Imitation　of　Christ/；　and　she　opened　it　at　haphazard　and　glanced　down
on　a　sunlit　page。　Her　eyes　fell　on　these　words：

　〃Love　watcheth；　and　sleeping；　slumbereth　not。　When　weary　it　is　not
　　tired；　when　straitened　it　is　not　constrained；　when　frightened　it
　　is　not　disturbed；　but　like　a　vivid　flame　and　a　burning　torch　it
　　mounteth　upwards　and　securely　passeth　through　all。　Whosoever
　　loveth　knoweth　the　cry　of　this　voice。〃

The　sunlight　on　the　page　of　the　little　book　was　like　the　vivid　flame
and　the　burning　torch　spoken　of　in　it。　Heat；　light；　a　fierce　vitality。
Domini　had　been　weary　so　long；　weary　of　soul；　that　she　was　almost
startled　to　find　herself　responding　quickly　to　the　sacred　passion　on
the　page；　to　the　bright　beam　that　kissed　it　as　twin　kisses　twin。　She
knelt　down　to　say　her　morning　prayer；　but　all　she　could　whisper　was：

〃O；　God；　renew　me。　O；　God；　renew　me。　Give　me　power　to　feel；　keenly；
fiercely；　even　though　I　suffer。　Let　me　wake。　Let　me　feel。　Let　me　be　a
living　thing　once　more。　O；　God；　renew　me；　renew　me！〃

While　she　prayed　she　pressed　her　face　so　hard　against　her　hands　that
patches　of　red　came　upon　her　cheeks。　And　afterwards　it　seemed　to　her
as　if　her　first　real；　passionate　prayer　in　Beni…Mora　had　been　almost
like　a　command　to　God。　Was　not　such　a　fierce　prayer　perhaps　a
blasphemy？

She　rose　from　that　prayer　to　the　first　of　her　new　days。

After　breakfast　she　looked　over　the　edge　of　the　verandah　and　saw
Batouch　and　Hadj　squatting　together　in　the　shadow　of　the　trees　below。
They　were　smoking　cigarettes　and　talking　eagerly。　Their　conversation；
which　was　in　Arabic；　sounded　violent。　The　accented　words　were　like
blows。　Domini　had　not　looked　over　the　parapet　for　more　than　a　minute
before　the　two　guides　saw　her　and　rose　smiling　to　their　feet。

〃I　am　waiting　to　show　the　village　to　Madame；〃　said　Batouch；　coming　out
softly　into　the　road；　while　Hadj　remained　under　the　trees；　exposing
his　teeth　in　a　sarcastic　grin；　which　plainly　enough　conveyed　to　Domini
his　pity　for　her　sad　mistake　in　not　engaging　him　as　her　attendant。

Domini　nodded；　went　back　into　her　room　and　put　on　a　shady　hat。　Suzanne
handed　her　a　large　parasol　lined　with　green；　and　she　descended　the
stairs　rather　slowly。　She　was　not　sure　whether　she　wanted　a　companion
in　her　first　walk　about　Beni…Mora。　There　would　be　more　savour　of
freedom　in　solitude。　Yet　she　had　hardly　the　heart　to　dismiss　Batouch；
with　all　his　dignity　and　determination。　She　resolved　to　take　him　for　a
little　while　and　then　to　get　rid　of　him　on　some　pretext。　Perhaps　she
would　make　some　purchases　in　the　bazaars　and　send　him　to　the　hotel
with　them。

〃Madame　has　slept　well？〃　asked　the　poet　as　she　emerged　into　the　sun。

〃Pretty　well；〃　she　answered；　nodding　again　to　Hadj；　whose　grin　became
more　mischievous；　and　opening　her　parasol。　〃Where　are　we　going？〃

〃Wherever　Madame　wishes。　There　is　the　market；　the　negro　village；　the
mosque；　the　casino；　the　statue　of　the　Cardinal；　the　bazaars；　the
garden　of　the　Count　Ferdinand　Anteoni。〃

〃A　garden；〃　said　Domini。　〃Is　it　a　beautiful　one？〃

Batouch　was　about　to　burst　into　a　lyric　ecstasy；　but　he　checked
himself　and　said：

〃Madame　shall　see　for　herself　and　tell　me　afterwards　if　in　all　Europe
there　is　one　such　garden。〃

〃Oh；　the　English　gardens　are　wonderful；〃　she　said；　smiling　at　his
patriotic　conceit。

〃No　doubt。　Madame　shall　tell　me；　Madame　shall　tell　me；〃　he　repeated
with　imperturbable　confidence。

〃But　first　I　wish　to　go　for　a　moment　into　the　church；〃　she　said。　〃Wait
for　me　here；　Batouch。〃

She　crossed　the　road；　passed　the　modest；　one…storied　house　of　the
priest；　and　came　to　the　church；　which　looked　out　on　to　the　quiet
gardens。　Before　going　up　the　steps　and　in　at　the　door　she　paused　for　a
moment。　There　was　something　touching　to　her；　as　a　Catholic；　in　this
symbol　of　her　faith　set　thus　far　out　in　the　midst　of　Islamism。　The
cross　was　surely　rather　lonely；　here；　raised　above　the　white…robed　men
to　whom　it　meant　nothing。　She　was　conscious　that　since　she　had　come　to
this　land　of　another　creed；　and　of　another　creed　held　with　fanaticism；
her　sentiment　for　her　own　religion；　which　in　England　for　many　years
had　been　but　lukewarm；　had　suddenly　gained　in　strength。　She　had　an
odd；　almost　manly；　sensation　that　it　was　her　duty　in　Africa　to　stand
up　for　her　faith；　not　blatantly　in　words　to　impress　others；　but
perseveringly　in　heart　to　satisfy　herself。　Sometimes　she　felt　very
protective。　She　felt　protective　today　as　she　looked　at　this　humble
building；　which　she　likened　to　one　of　the　poor　saints　of　the　Thebaid；
who　dwelt　afar　in　desert　places；　and　whose　devotions　were　broken　by
the　night…cries　of　jackals　and　by　the　roar　of　ravenous　beasts。　With
this　feeling　strong　upon　her　she　pushed　open　the　door　and　went　in。

The　interior　was　plain；　even　ugly。　The　walls　were　painted　a　hideous
drab。　The　stone　floor　was　covered　with　small；　hard；　straw…bottomed
chairs　and　narrow　wooden　forms　for　the　patient　knees　of　worshippers。
In　the　front　were　two　rows　of　private　chairs；　with　velvet　cushions　of
various　brilliant　hues　and　velvet…covered　rails。　On　the　left　was　a
high　stone　pulpit。　The　altar；　beyond　its　mean　black　and　gold　railing；
was　dingy　and　forlorn。　On　it　there　was　a　tiny　gold　cross　with　a　gold
statuette　of　Christ　hanging；　surmounted　by　a　canopy　with　four　pillars；
which　looked　as　if　made　of　some　unwholesome　sweetmeat。　Long　candles　of
blue　and　gold　and　bouquets　of　dusty　artificial　flowers　flanked　it。
Behind　it；　in　a　round　niche；　stood　a　painted　figure　of　Christ　holding
a　book。　The　two　adjacent　side　chapels　had　domed　roofs　representing　the
firmament。　Beneath　the　pulpit　stood　a　small　harmonium。　At　the　opposite
end　of　the　church　was　a　high　gallery　holding　more　chairs。　The　mean；
featureless　windows　were　filled　with　glass　half　white；　half　staring
red　dotted　with　yellow　crosses。　Round　the　walls　were　reliefs　of　the
fourteen　stations　of　the　Cross　in　white　plaster　on　a　gilt　ground
framed　in　grey　marble。　From　the　roof　hung　vulgar　glass　chandeliers
with　ropes　tied　with　faded　pink　ribands。　Several　frightful　plaster
statues　daubed　with　scarlet　and　chocolate　brown　stood　under　the
windows；　which　were　protected　with　brown　woollen　curtains。　Close　to
the　entrance　were　a　receptacle　for　holy　water　in　the　form　of　a　shell；
and　a　confessional　of　stone　flanked　by　boxes；　one　of　which　bore　the
words；　〃Graces　obtenues；〃　the　other；　〃Demandes；〃　and　a　card　on　which
was　printed；　〃Litanies　en　honneur　de　Saint　Antoine　de　Padoue。〃

There　was　nothing　to　please　the　eye；　nothing　to　appeal　to　the　senses。
There　was　not　even　the　mystery　which　shrouds　and　softens；　for　the
sunshine　streamed　in　through　the　white　glass　of　the　windows；
revealing；　even　emphasising；　as　if　with　deliberate　cruelty；　the　cheap
finery；　the　tarnished　velvet；　the　crude　colours；　the　meretricious
gestures　and　poses　of　the　plaster　saints。　Yet　as　Domini　touched　her
forehead　and　breast　with　holy　water；　and　knelt　for　a　moment　on　the
stone　floor；　she　was　conscious　that　this　rather　pitiful　house　of　God
moved　her　to　an　emotion　she　had　not　felt　in　the　great　and　beautiful
churches　to　which　she　was　accustomed　in　England　and　on　the　Continent。
Through　the　windows　she　saw　the　outlines　of　palm　leaves　vibrating　in
the　breeze；　African　fingers；　feeling；　with　a　sort　of　fluttering
suspicion；　if　not　enmity；　round　the　heart　of　this　intruding　religion；
which　had　wandered　hither　from　some　distant　place；　and；　stayed；
confronting　the　burning　glance　of　the　desert。　Bold；　little；　humble
church！　Domini　knew　that　she　would　love　it。　But　she　did　not　know　then
how　much。

She　wandered　round　slowly　with　a　grave　face。　Yet　now　and　then；　as　she
stood　by　one　of　the　plaster　saints；　she　smiled。　They　were　indeed
strange　offerings　at　the　shrine　of　Him　who　held　this　Africa　in　the
hollow　of　His　hand；　of　Him　who　had　ordered　the　pageant　of　the　sun
which　she　had　seen　last　night　among　the　mountains。　And　presently　she
and　this　little　church　in　which　she　stood　alone　became　pathetic　in　her
thoughts；　and　even　the　religion　which　the　one　came　to　profess　in　the
other　pathetic　too。　For　here；　in　Africa；　she　began　to　realise　the
wideness　of　the　world；　and　that　many　things　must　surely　seem　to　the
Creator　what　these　plaster　saints　seemed　just　then　to　her。

〃Oh；　how　little；　how　little！〃　she　whispered　to　herself。　〃Let　me　be
bigger！　Oh；　let　me　grow；　and　here；　not　only　hereafter！〃

The　church　door　creaked。　She　turned　her　head　and　saw　the　priest　whom
she　had　met　in　the　tunnel　entering。　He　came　up　to　her　at　once；　saluted
her；　and　said：

〃I　saw　you　from　my　window；　Madame；　and　thought　I　would　offer　to　show
you　our　little　church　here。　We　are　very　proud　of　it。〃

Domini　liked　his　voice　and　his　naive　remark。　His　face；　too；　though
undistinguished；　looked　honest；　kind；　and　pathetic；　but　with　a　pathos
that　was　unaffected　and　quite　unconscious。　The　lower　part　of　it　was
hidden　by　a　moustache　and　beard。

〃Thank　you；〃　she　answere