the garden of allah-第32部分

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As　she　spoke　she　threw　a　longing　glance　at　the　far　desert；　at　the
verge　of　which　was　a　dull　green　line　betokening　the　distant　palms　of
an　oasis。

Androvsky　shook　his　head。

〃But　you〃　She　hesitated。　〃Perhaps　you　aren't　accustomed　to　horses；
and　with　that　saddle〃

He　shook　his　head　again；　drew　a　tremendous　breath　and　said

〃I　don't　care；　I'll　go　on；　I　won't　go　back。〃

He　put　up　one　hand；　brushed　the　foam　from　his　streaming　forehead；　and
said　again　fiercely：

〃I　won't　go　back。〃

His　face　was　extraordinary　with　its　dogged；　passionate　expression
showing　through　the　dust　and　the　sweat；　like　the　face　of　a　man　in　a
fight　to　the　death；　she　thought；　a　fight　with　fists。　She　was　glad　at
his　last　words　and　liked　the　iron　sound　in　his　voice。

〃Come　on　then。〃

And　they　began　to　ride　towards　the　dull　green　line　of　the　oasis；
slowly　on　the　sandy　waste　among　the　little　round　humps　where　the　dusty
cluster　of　bushes　grew。

〃You　weren't　hurt　by　the　fall？〃　she　said。　〃It　looked　a　bad　one。〃

〃I　don't　know　whether　I　was。　I　don't　care　whether　I　was。〃

He　spoke　almost　roughly。

〃You　asked　me　to　ride　with　you；〃　he　added。　〃I'll　ride　with　you。〃

She　remembered　what　Batouch　had　said。　There　was　pluck　in　this　man；
pluck　that　surged　up　in　the　blundering　awkwardness；　the　hesitation；
the　incompetence　and　rudeness　of　him　like　a　black　rock　out　of　the　sea。
She　did　not　answer。　They　rode　on；　always　slowly。　His　horse；　having　had
its　will；　and　having　known　his　strength　at　the　end　of　his
incompetence；　went　quietly；　though　always　with　that　feathery；　light；
tripping　action　peculiar　to　purebred　Arabs；　an　action　that　suggests
the　treading　of　a　spring　board　rather　than　of　the　solid　earth。　And
Androvsky　seemed　a　little　more　at　home　on　it；　although　he　sat
awkwardly　on　the　chair…like　saddle；　and　grasped　the　rein　too　much　as
the　drowning　man　seizes　the　straw。　Domini　rode　without　looking　at　him；
lest　he　might　think　she　was　criticising　his　performance。　When　he　had
rolled　in　the　dust　she　had　been　conscious　of　a　sharp　sensation　of
contempt。　The　men　she　had　been　accustomed　to　meet　all　her　life　rode；
shot；　played　games　as　a　matter　of　course。　She　was　herself　an　athlete；
and；　like　nearly　all　athletic　women；　inclined　to　be　pitiless　towards
any　man　who　was　not　so　strong　and　so　agile　as　herself。　But　this　man
had　killed　her　contempt　at　once　by　his　desperate　determination　not　to
be　beaten。　She　knew　by　the　look　she　had　just　seen　in　his　eyes　that　if
to　ride　with　her　that　day　meant　death　to　him　he　would　have　done　it
nevertheless。

The　womanhood　in　her　liked　the　tribute；　almost　more　than　liked　it。

〃Your　horse　goes　better　now；〃　she　said　at　last　to　break　the　silence。

〃Does　it？〃　he　said。

〃You　don't　know！〃

〃Madame；　I　know　nothing　of　horses　or　riding。　I　have　not　been　on　a
horse　for　twenty…three　years。〃

She　was　amazed。

〃We　ought　to　go　back　then；〃　she　exclaimed。

〃Why？　Other　men　rideI　will　ride。　I　do　it　badly。　Forgive　me。〃

〃Forgive　you！〃　she　said。　〃I　admire　your　pluck。　But　why　have　you　never
ridden　all　these　years？〃

After　a　pause　he　answered：

〃II　did　notI　had　not　the　opportunity。〃

His　voice　was　suddenly　constrained。　She　did　not　pursue　the　subject；
but　stroked　her　horse's　neck　and　turned　her　eyes　towards　the　dark
green　line　on　the　horizon。　Now　that　she　was　really　out　in　the　desert
she　felt　almost　bewildered　by　it；　and　as　if　she　understood　it　far　less
than　when　she　looked　at　it　from　Count　Anteoni's　garden。　The　thousands
upon　thousands　of　sand　humps；　each　crowned　with　its　dusty　dwarf　bush；
each　one　precisely　like　the　others；　agitated　her　as　if　she　were
confronted　by　a　vast　multitude　of　people。　She　wanted　some　point　which
would　keep　the　eyes　from　travelling　but　could　not　find　it；　and　was
mentally　restless　as　the　swimmer　far　out　at　sea　who　is　pursued　by　wave
on　wave；　and　who　sees　beyond　him　the　unceasing　foam　of　those　that　are
pressing　to　the　horizon。　Whither　was　she　riding？　Could　one　have　a　goal
in　this　immense　expanse？　She　felt　an　overpowering　need　to　find　one；
and　looked　once　more　at　the　green　line。

〃Do　you　think　we　could　go　as　far　as　that？〃　she　asked　Androvsky；
pointing　with　her　whip。

〃Yes；　Madame。〃

〃It　must　be　an　oasis。　Don't　you　think　so？〃

〃Yes。　I　can　go　faster。〃

〃Keep　your　rein　loose。　Don't　pull　his　mouth。　You　don't　mind　my　telling
you。　I've　been　with　horses　all　my　life。〃

〃Thank　you；〃　he　answered。

〃And　keep　your　heels　more　out。　That's　much　better。　I'm　sure　you　could
teach　me　a　thousand　things；　it　will　be　kind　of　you　to　let　me　teach　you
this。〃

He　cast　a　strange　look　at　her。　There　was　gratitude　in　it；　but　much
more；　a　fiery　bitterness　and　something　childlike　and　helpless。

〃I　have　nothing　to　teach；〃　he　said。

Their　horses　broke　into　a　canter；　and　with　the　swifter　movement　Domini
felt　more　calm。　There　was　an　odd　lightness　in　her　brain；　as　if　her
thoughts　were　being　shaken　out　of　it　like　feathers　out　of　a　bag。　The
power　of　concentration　was　leaving　her；　and　a　sensation　of
carelessnesssurely　gipsy…likecame　over　her。　Her　body；　dipped　in
the　dry　and　thin　air　as　in　a　clear；　cool　bath；　did　not　suffer　from　the
burning　rays　of　the　sun；　but　felt　radiant　yet　half　lazy　too。　They　went
on　and　on　in　silence　as　intimate　friends　might　ride　together；　isolated
from　the　world　and　content　in　each　other's　company；　content　enough　to
have　no　need　of　talking。　Not　once　did　it　strike　Domini　as　strange　that
she　should　go　far　out　into　the　desert　with　a　man　of　whom　she　knew
nothing；　but　in　whom　she　had　noticed　disquieting　peculiarities。　She
was　naturally　fearless；　but　that　had　little　to　do　with　her　conduct。
Without　saying　so　to　herself　she　felt　she　could　trust　this　man。

The　dark　green　line　showed　clearer　through　the　sunshine　across　the
gleaming　flats。　It　was　possible　now　to　see　slight　irregularities　in
it；　as　in　a　blurred　dash　of　paint　flung　across　a　canvas　by　an
uncertain　hand；　but　impossible　to　distinguish　palm　trees。　The　air
sparkled　as　if　full　of　a　tiny　dust　of　intensely　brilliant　jewels；　and
near　the　ground　there　seemed　to　quiver　a　maze　of　dancing　specks　of
light。　Everywhere　there　was　solitude；　yet　everywhere　there　was　surely
a　ceaseless　movement　of　minute　and　vital　things；　scarce　visible　sun
fairies　eternally　at　play。

And　Domini's　careless　feeling　grew。　She　had　never　before　experienced
so　delicious　a　recklessness。　Head　and　heart　were　light；　reckless　of
thought　or　love。　Sad　things　had　no　meaning　here　and　grave　things　no
place。　For　the　blood　was　full　of　sunbeams　dancing　to　a　lilt　of　Apollo。
Nothing　mattered　here。　Even　Death　wore　a　robe　of　gold　and　went　with　an
airy　step。　Ah；　yes；　from　this　region　of　quivering　light　and　heat　the
Arabs　drew　their　easy　and　lustrous　resignation。　Out　here　one　was　in
the　hands　of　a　God　who　surely　sang　as　He　created　and　had　not　created
fear。

Many　minutes　passed；　but　Domini　was　careless　of　time　as　of　all　else。
The　green　line　broke　into　feathery　tufts；　broadened　into　a　still　far…
off　dimness　of　palms。

〃Water！〃

Androvsky's　voice　spoke　as　if　startled。　Domini　pulled　up。　Their　horses
stood　side　by　side；　and　at　once；　with　the　cessation　of　motion；　the
mysticism　of　the　desert　came　upon　them　and　the　marvel　of　its　silence；
and　they　seemed　to　be　set　there　in　a　wonderful　dream；　themselves　and
their　horses　dreamlike。

〃Water！〃　he　said　again。

He　pointed；　and　along　the　right…hand　edge　of　the　oasis　Domini　saw
grey；　calm　waters。　The　palms　ran　out　into　them　and　were　bathed　by　them
softly。　And　on　their　bosom　here　and　there　rose　small；　dim　islets。　Yes；
there　was　water；　and　yet　The　mystery　of　it　was　a　mystery　she　had
never　known　to　brood　even　over　a　white　northern　sea　in　a　twilight　hour
of　winter；　was　deeper　than　the　mystery　of　the　Venetian　/laguna　morta/；
when　the　Angelus　bell　chimes　at　sunset；　and　each　distant　boat；　each
bending　rower　and　patient　fisherman；　becomes　a　marvel；　an　eerie　thing
in　the　gold。

〃Is　it　mirage？〃　she　said　to　him　almost　in　a　whisper。

And　suddenly　she　shivered。

〃Yes；　it　is；　it　must　be。〃

He　did　not　answer。　His　left　hand；　holding　the　rein；　dropped　down　on
the　saddle　peak；　and　he　stared　across　the　waste；　leaning　forward　and
moving　his　lips。　She　looked　at　him　and　forgot　even　the　mirage　in　a
sudden　longing　to　understand　exactly　what　he　was　feeling。　His　mystery
the　mystery　of　that　which　is　human　and　is　forever　stretching　out　its
armswas　as　the　fluid　mystery　of　the　mirage；　and　seemed　to　blend　at
that　moment　with　the　mystery　she　knew　lay　in　herself。　The　mirage　was
within　them　as　it　was　far　off　before　them　in　the　desert；　still；　grey；
full　surely　of　indistinct　movement；　and　even　perhaps　of　sound　they
could　not　hear。

At　last　he　turned　and　looked　at　her。

〃Yes；　it　must　be　mirage；〃　he　said。　〃The　nothing　that　seems　to　be　so
much。　A　man　comes　out　into　the　desert　and　he　finds　there　mirage。　He
travels　right　out　and　that's　what　he　reachesor　at　least　he　can't
reach　it；　but　just　sees　it　far　away。　And　that's　all。　And　is　that　what
a　man　finds　when　he　comes　out　into　the　world？〃

It　was　the　first　time　he　had　spoken　without　any　trace　of　reserve　to
her；　for　even　on　the　tower；　though　there　had　been　tumult　in　his　voice
and　a　fierceness　of　some　strange　passion　in　his　words；　there　had　been
struggle　in　his　manner；　as　if　the　pressure　of　feeling　forced　him　to
speak　in　despite　of　something　which　bade　him　keep　silence。　Now　he
spoke　as　if　to　someone　whom　he　knew　and　with　whom　he　had　talked　of
many　things。

〃But　you　ought　to　know　better　than　I　do；〃　she　answered。

〃I！〃

〃Yes。　You　are　a　man；　and　have　been　in　the　world；　and　must　know　what　it
has　to　givewhether　there's　only　mirage；　or　something　that　can　be
grasped　and　felt　and　lived　in；　and〃

〃Yes；　I'm　a　man　and　I　ought　to　know；〃　he　replied。　〃Well；　I　don't　know；
but　I　mean　to　know。〃

There　was　a　savage　sound　in　his　voice。

〃I　should　like　to　know；　too；〃　Domini　said　quietly。　〃And　I　feel　as　if
it　was　the　desert　that　was　going　to　teach　me。〃

〃The　deserthow？〃

〃I　don't　know。〃

He　pointed　again　to　the　mirage。

〃But　that's　what　there　is　in　the　desert。〃

〃Thatand　what　else？〃

〃Is　there　anything　else？〃

〃Perhaps　everything；〃　she　answered。　〃I　am　like　you。　I　want　to　know。〃

He　looked　straight　into　her　eyes　and　there　was　something　dominating　in
his