the garden of allah-第70部分

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have　never　said；　never　been　able　to　say　to　me；　all　that　you　never　can
say　to　me　but　that　I　know　all　the　same。〃

〃But；〃　he　said；　〃that　fire　is〃

He　did　not　finish　the　sentence；　but　put　up　his　hand　and　turned　her
face　till　she　was　looking；　not　at　the　fire；　but　at　him。

〃It　is　not　like　me；〃　he　said。　〃Men　made　it；　andit's　a　fire　that　can
sink　into　ashes。〃

An　expression　of　sudden　exaltation　shone　in　her　eyes。

〃And　God　made　you；〃　she　said。　〃And　put　into　you　the　spark　that　is
eternal。〃

And　now　again　she　thought；　she　dared；　she　loved　to　think　of　the
crucifix　and　of　the　moment　when　he　would　see　it　in　the　tent。

〃And　God　made　you　love　me；〃　she　said。　〃What　is　it？〃

Androvsky　had　moved　suddenly；　as　if　he　were　going　to　get　up　from　the
warm　ground。

〃Did　you？〃

〃No；〃　he　said　in　a　low　voice。　〃Go　on；　Domini。　Speak　to　me。〃

He　sat　still。

A　sudden　longing　came　to　her　to　know　if　to…night　he　were　feeling　as
she　was　the　sacredness　of　their　relation　to　each　other。　Never　had　they
spoken　intimately　of　religion　or　of　the　mysteries　that　lie　beyond　and
around　human　life。　Once　or　twice；　when　she　had　been　about　to　open　her
heart　to　him；　to　let　him　understand　her　deep　sense　of　the　things
unseen；　something　had　checked　her；　something　in　him。　It　was　as　if　he
had　divined　her　intention　and　had　subtly　turned　her　from　it；　without
speech；　merely　by　the　force　of　his　inward　determination　that　she
should　not　break　through　his　reserve。　But　to…night；　with　his　hand　on
hers　and　the　starry　darkness　above　them；　with　the　waste　stretching
around　them；　and　the　cool　air　that　was　like　the　breath　of　liberty　upon
their　faces；　she　was　unconscious　of　any　secret；　combative　force　in
him。　It　was　impossible　to　her　to　think　there　could　have　been　any
combat；　however　inward；　however　subtle；　between　them。　Surely　if　it
were　ever　permitted　to　two　natures　to　be　in　perfect　accord　theirs　were
in　perfect　accord　to…night。

〃I　never　felt　the　presence　of　God　in　His　world　so　keenly　as　I　feel　it
to…night；〃　she　went　on；　drawing　a　little　closer　to　him。　〃Even　in　the
church　to…day　He　seemed　farther　away　than　tonight。　But　somehowone
has　these　thoughts　without　knowing　whyI　have　always　believed　that
the　farther　I　went　into　the　desert　the　nearer　I　should　come　to　God。〃

Androvsky　moved　again。　The　clasp　of　his　hand　on　hers　loosened；　but　he
did　not　take　his　hand　away。

〃Why　shouldwhat　should　make　you　think　that？〃　he　asked　slowly。

〃Don't　you　know　what　the　Arabs　call　the　desert？〃

〃No。　What　do　they　call　it？〃

〃The　Garden　of　Allah。〃

〃The　Garden　of　Allah！〃　he　repeated。

There　was　a　sound　like　fear　in　his　voice。　Even　her　great　joy　did　not
prevent　her　from　noticing　it；　and　she　remembered；　with　a　thrill　of
pain；　where　and　under　what　circumstances　she　had　first　heard　the
Arab's　name　for　the　desert。

Could　it　be　that　this　man　she　loved　was　secretly　afraid　of　something
in　the　desert；　some　influence；　some？　Her　thought　stopped　short；　like
a　thing　confused。

〃Don't　you　think　it　a　very　beautiful　name？〃　she　asked；　with　an　almost
fierce　longing　to　be　reassured；　to　be　made　to　know　that　he；　like　her；
loved　the　thought　that　God　was　specially　near　to　those　who　travelled
in　this　land　of　solitude。

〃Is　it　beautiful？〃

〃To　me　it　is。　It　makes　me　feel　as　if　in　the　desert　I　were　specially
watched　over　and　protected；　even　as　if　I　were　specially　loved　there。〃

Suddenly　Androvsky　put　his　arm　round　her　and　strained　her　to　him。

〃By　me！　By　me！〃　he　said。　〃Think　of　me　to…night；　only　of　me；　as　I　think
only　of　you。〃

He　spoke　as　if　he　were　jealous　even　of　her　thought　of　God；　as　if　he
did　not　understand　that　it　was　the　very　intensity　of　her　love　for　him
that　made　her；　even　in　the　midst　of　the　passion　of　the　body；　connect
their　love　of　each　other　with　God's　love　of　them。　In　her　heart　this
overpowering　human　love　which；　in　the　garden；　when　first　she　realised
it　fully；　had　seemed　to　leave　no　room　in　her　for　love　of　God；　now　in
the　moment　when　it　was　close　to　absolute　satisfaction　seemed　almost　to
be　one　with　her　love　of　God。　Perhaps　no　man　could　understand　how；　in　a
good　woman；　the　two　streams　of　the　human　love　which　implies　the
intense　desire　of　the　flesh；　and　the　mystical　love　which　is　absolutely
purged　of　that　desire；　can　flow　the　one　into　the　other　and　mingle
their　waters。　She　tried　to　think　that；　and　then　she　ceased　to　try。
Everything　was　forgotten　as　his　arms　held　her　fast　in　the　night；
everything　except　this　great　force　of　human　love　which　was　like　iron；
and　yet　soft　about　her；　which　was　giving　and　wanting；　which　was
concentrated　upon　her　to　the　exclusion　of　all　else；　plunging　the
universe　in　darkness　and　setting　her　in　light。

〃There　is　nothing　for　me　to…night　but　you；〃　he　said；　crushing　her　in
his　arms。　〃The　desert　is　your　garden。　To　me　it　has　always　been　your
garden；　only　that；　put　here　for　you；　and　for　me　because　you　love　me
but　for　me　only　because　of　that。〃

The　Arabs'　fire　was　rapidly　dying　down。

〃When　it　goes　out；　when　it　goes　out！〃　Androvsky　whispered　it　her　ear。

His　breath　stirred　the　thick　tresses　of　her　hair。

〃Let　us　watch　it！〃　he　whispered。

She　pressed　his　hand　but　did　not　reply。　She　could　not　speak　any　more。
At　last　the　something　wild　and　lawless；　the　something　that　was　more
than　passionate；　that　was　hot　and　even　savage　in　her　nature；　had　risen
up　in　its　full　force　to　face　a　similar　force　in　him；　which　insistently
called　it　and　which　it　answered　without　shame。

〃It　is　dying；〃　Androvsky　said。　〃It　is　dying。　Look　how　small　the　circle
of　the　flame　is；　how　the　darkness　is　creeping　up　about　it！　Dominido
you　see？〃

She　pressed　his　hand　again。

〃Do　you　long　for　the　darkness？〃　he　asked。　〃Do　you；　Domini？　The　desert
is　sending　it。　The　desert　is　sending　it　for　you；　and　for　me　because
you　love　me。〃

A　log　in　the　fire；　charred　by　the　flames；　broke　in　two。　Part　of　it
fell　down　into　the　heart　of　the　fire；　which　sent　up　a　long　tongue　of
red　gold　flame。

〃That　is　like　us；〃　he　said。　〃Like　us　together　in　the　darkness。〃

She　felt　his　body　trembling；　as　if　the　vehemence　of　the　spirit
confined　within　it　shook　it。　In　the　night　the　breeze　slightly
increased；　making　the　flame　of　the　lamp　behind　them　in　the　tent
flicker。　And　the　breeze　was　like　a　message；　brought　to　them　from　the
desert　by　some　envoy　in　the　darkness；　telling　them　not　to　be　afraid　of
their　wonderful　gift　of　freedom　with　each　other；　but　to　take　it　open…
handed；　open…hearted；　with　the　great　courage　of　joy。

〃Domini；　did　you　feel　that　gust　of　the　wind？　It　carried　away　a　cloud
of　sparks　from　the　fire　and　brought　them　a　little　way　towards　us。　Did
you　see？　Fire　wandering　on　the　wind　through　the　night　calling　to　the
fire　that　is　in　us。　Wasn't　it　beautiful？　Everything　is　beautiful
to…night。　There　were　never　such　stars　before。〃

She　looked　up　at　them。　Often　she　had　watched　the　stars；　and　known　the
vague　longings；　the　almost　terrible　aspirations　they　wake　in　their
watchers。　But　to　her　also　they　looked　different　to…night；　nearer　to
the　earth；　she　thought；　brighter；　more　living　than　ever　before；　like
strange　tenderness　made　visible；　peopling　the　night　with　an
unconquerable　sympathy。　The　vast　firmament　was　surely　intent　upon
their　happiness。　Again　the　breeze　came　to　them　across　the　waste；　cool
and　breathing　of　the　dryness　of　the　sands。　Not　far　away　a　jackal
laughed。　After　a　pause　it　was　answered　by　another　jackal　at　a
distance。　The　voices　of　these　desert　beasts　brought　home　to　Domini
with　an　intimacy　not　felt　by　her　before　the　exquisite　remoteness　of
their　situation；　and　the　shrill；　discordant　noise；　rising　and　falling
with　a　sort　of　melancholy　and　sneering　mirth；　mingled　with　bitterness；
was　like　a　delicate　music　in　her　ears。

〃Hark！〃　Androvsky　whispered。

The　first　jackal　laughed　once　more；　was　answered　again。　A　third　beast；
evidently　much　farther　off；　lifted　up　a　faint　voice　like　a　dismal
echo。　Then　there　was　silence。

〃You　loved　that；　Domini。　It　was　like　the　calling　of　freedom　to　you
and　to　me。　We've　found　freedom；　we've　found　it。　Let　us　feel　it。　Let　us
take　hold　of　it。　It　is　the　only　thing；　the　only　thing。　But　you　can't
know　that　as　I　do；　Domini。〃

Again　she　was　conscious　that　his　intensity　surpassed　hers；　and　the
consciousness；　instead　of　saddening　or　vexing；　made　her　thrill　with
joy。

〃I　am　maddened　by　this　freedom；〃　he　said；　〃maddened　by　it；　Domini。　I
can't　helpI　can't〃

He　laid　his　lips　upon　hers　in　a　desperate　caress　that　almost
suffocated　her。　Then　he　took　his　lips　away　from　her　lips　and　kissed
her　throat；　holding　her　head　back　against　his　shoulder。　She　shut　her
eyes。　He　was　indeed　teaching　her　to　forget。　Even　the　memory　of　the　day
in　the　garden　when　she　heard　the　church　bell　chime　and　the　sound　of
Larbi's　flute　went　from　her。　She　remembered　nothing　any　more。　The　past
was　lost　or　laid　in　sleep　by　the　spell　of　sensation。　Her　nature
galloped　like　an　Arab　horse　across　the　sands　towards　the　sun；　towards
the　fire　that　sheds　warmth　afar　but　that　devours　all　that　draws　near
to　it。　At　that　moment　she　connected　Androvsky　with　the　tremendous
fires　eternally　blazing　in　the　sun。　She　had　a　desire　that　he　should
hurt　her　in　the　passionate　intensity　of　his　love　for　her。　Her　nature；
which　till　now　had　been　ever　ready　to　spring　into　hostility　at　an
accidental　touch；　which　had　shrunk　instinctively　from　physical　contact
with　other　human　beings；　melted；　was　utterly　transformed。　She　felt
that　she　was　now　the　opposite　of　all　that　she　had　beenmore　woman
than　any　other　woman　who　had　ever　lived。　What　had　been　an　almost　cold
strength　in　her　went　to　increase　the　completeness　of　this　yielding　to
one　stronger　than　herself。　What　had　seemed　boyish　and　almost　hard　in
her　died　away　utterly　under　the　embrace　of　this　fierce　manhood。

〃Domini；〃　he　spoke；　whispering　while　he　kissed　her；　〃Domini；　the
fire's　gone　out。　It's　dark。〃

He　lifted　her　a　little　in　his　arms；　still　kissing　her。

〃Domini；　it's　dark；　it's　dark。〃

He　lifted　her　more。　She　stood　up；　with　his　arms　about　her；　looking
towards　where　the　fire　had　been。　She　put　her　hands　against　his　face
and　softly　pressed　it　back　from　hers；　but　with　a　touch　that　was　a
caress。　He　yielded　to　her　at　once。

〃Look！〃　he　said。　〃Do　you　love　the　darkness？　Tell　metell　me　that　you