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hemingway, ernest - islands in the stream-第14部分
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¨Jules。〃
¨How do you spell it？〃 David asked。 Thomas Hudson told him。
¨What ever became of Mr。 Pascin？〃 young Tom asked。
¨He hanged himself；〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨Oh gee；〃 Andrew said。
¨Poor Mr。 Pascin；〃 young Tom said in benediction。 ¨Iˇll pray for him tonight。〃
¨Iˇm going to pray for Mr。 Davis；〃 Andrew said。
¨And do it often；〃 Roger said。
VI
THAT NIGHT AFTER THE BOYS had gone to bed Thomas Hudson and Roger Davis sat up in the big room talking。 It had been too rough to do much goggle…fishing and after supper the boys had gone off with Joseph to go snapper fishing。 They had come back tired and happy and said good night and gone to bed。 The men had heard them talking for a while and then they were asleep。
Andrew was afraid of the dark and the other boys knew it but they never teased him about it。
¨Why do you think heˇs afraid of the dark？〃 Roger asked。
¨I donˇt know；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Werenˇt you？〃
¨I donˇt think so。〃
¨I was；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Is it supposed to mean anything？〃
¨I donˇt know；〃 Roger said。 ¨I was afraid of dying and that something would happen to my brother。〃
¨I didnˇt know you had a brother。 Where is he？〃
¨Dead；〃 Roger said。
¨Iˇm sorry。〃
¨You donˇt need to be。 It was when we were kids。〃
¨Was he older than you？〃
¨A year younger。〃
¨What was it？〃
¨A canoe turned over with us。〃
¨How old were you？〃
¨About twelve。〃
¨Donˇt talk about it if you donˇt want to。〃
¨Iˇm not sure it did me a lot of good；〃 Roger said。 ¨Didnˇt you know about it really？〃
¨Never。〃
¨For a long time I thought everybody in the world knew about it。 Itˇs strange when you are a boy。 The water was too cold and he let go。 But what it added up to was that I came back and he didnˇt。〃
¨Poor bloody Roger。〃
¨No；〃 said Roger。 ¨But it was early to learn about that stuff。 And then I loved him very much and Iˇd always been afraid something would happen to him。 The water was cold for me too。 But I couldnˇt say that。〃
¨Where was it？〃
¨Up in Maine。 I donˇt think my father ever forgave me although he tried to understand it。 Iˇve wished it was me every day since。 But thatˇs hardly a career。〃
¨What was your brotherˇs name？〃
¨Dave。〃
¨Hell。 Was that why you wouldnˇt go goggle…fishing today？〃
¨I guess so。 But Iˇm going every other day。 You never work those things out； though。〃
¨Youˇre grown up enough not to talk that way。〃
¨I tried to go down after him。 But I couldnˇt find him；〃 Roger said。 ¨It was too deep and it was really cold。〃
¨David Davis；〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨Yes。 In our family the first one is called Roger and the second one David。〃
¨Roge； you did get over it； though。〃
¨No；〃 Roger said。 ¨You never get over it and sooner or later I have to tell it。 Iˇm ashamed of that the way Iˇm ashamed of the fight on the dock。〃
¨You had nothing to be ashamed of there。〃
¨Yes； I did。 I told you once。 Letˇs not go into that。〃
¨All right。〃
¨Iˇm not going to have any more fights。 Ever。 You never fight and you can fight as well as I can。〃
¨I canˇt fight as well as you。 But I just made up my mind I wouldnˇt fight。〃
¨Iˇm not going to fight and Iˇm going to be some good and quit writing junk。〃
¨Thatˇs the best thing Iˇve heard you say；〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨Do you think I could write something that would be worth a damn？〃
¨You could try。 What did you quit painting for？〃
¨Because I couldnˇt kid myself any longer。 I canˇt kid myself any longer on the writing either。〃
¨What are you going to do； practically？〃
¨Go some place and write a good straight novel as well as I can write it。〃
¨Why donˇt you stay here and write？ You can stay on here after the boys are gone。 Itˇs too hot to write in your place。〃
¨I wouldnˇt bother you too much？〃
¨No； Roge。 I get lonely； too； you know。 You canˇt just run away from everything all the time。 This sounds like a speech。 Iˇll cut it out。〃
¨No。 Go on。 I need it。〃
¨If you are going to start to work； start here。〃
¨You donˇt think out West would be better？〃
¨Any place is good。 The thing is not to run from it。〃
¨No。 Any place isnˇt good；〃 Roger objected。 ¨I know that。 Theyˇre good and then they go bad。〃
¨Sure。 But this is a good place now。 Maybe it wonˇt always be。 But itˇs fine now。 Youˇd have company when you quit work and so would I。 We wouldnˇt interfere with each other and you could really bite on the nail。〃
¨Do you truly think I could write a novel that would be any good？〃
¨You never will if you donˇt try。 You told me a hell of a good novel tonight if you wanted to write it。 Just start with the canoe。〃
¨And end it how？〃
¨Make it up after the canoe。〃
¨Hell；〃 Roger said。 ¨Iˇm so corrupted that if I put in a canoe it would have a beautiful Indian girl in it that young Jones； who is on his way to warn the settlers that Cecil B。 de Mille is coming； would drop into； hanging by one hand to a tangle of vines that covers the river while he holds his trusty flintlock； ˉOld Betsy；ˇ in the other hand； and the beautiful Indian girl says； ˉJones； it ees you。 Now we can make love as our frail craft moves toward the falls that some day weel be Niagara。ˇ 〃
¨No；〃 said Thomas Hudson。 ¨You could just make the canoe and the cold lake and your kid brother〃
¨David Davis。 Eleven。〃
¨And afterwards。 And then make up from there to the end。〃
¨I donˇt like the end；〃 Roger said。
¨I donˇt think any of us do； really；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨But thereˇs always an end。〃
¨Maybe we better knock off talking；〃 Roger said。 ¨Iˇm liable to start thinking about the novel。 Tommy； why is it fun to paint well and hell to write well？ I never painted well。 But it was fun even the way I painted。〃
¨I donˇt know；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Maybe in painting the tradition and the line are clearer and there are more people helping you。 Even when you break from the straight line of great painting； it is always there to help you。〃
¨I think another thing is that better people do it；〃 Roger said。 ¨If I were a good enough guy maybe I could have been a good painter。 Maybe Iˇm just enough of a son of a bitch to be a good writer。〃
¨Thatˇs the worst oversimplification Iˇve ever heard。〃
¨I always oversimplify；〃 Roger maintained。 ¨Thatˇs one reason Iˇm no damn good。〃
¨Letˇs go to bed。〃
¨Iˇll stay up and read a while；〃 Roger said。
They slept well and Thomas Hudson did not wake when Roger came out to the sleeping porch late in the night。 After breakfast the wind was light and there were no clouds in the sky and they organized for a day of underwater fishing。
¨Youˇre coming； arenˇt you； Mr。 Davis？〃 Andrew asked。
¨I most certainly am。〃
¨Thatˇs good；〃 said Andrew。 ¨Iˇm glad。〃
¨How do you feel； Andy？〃 Thomas Hudson asked。
¨Scared；〃 said Andrew。 ¨Like always。 But Iˇm not so scared with Mr。 Davis going。〃
¨Never be scared； Andy；〃 Roger said。 ¨Itˇs worthless。 Your father told me。〃
¨They tell you；〃 Andrew said。 ¨They always tell you。 But Davidˇs the only young boy I ever knew with any brains that isnˇt scared。〃
¨Shut up；〃 David said。 ¨Youˇre just a creature of your imagination。〃
¨Mr。 Davis and I are always scared；〃 Andrew said。 ¨Itˇs possibly our superior intelligence。〃
¨Youˇre going to be careful； Davy； arenˇt you？〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨Naturally。〃
Andrew looked at Roger and shrugged his shoulders。
VII
DOWN ALONG THE REEF where they went for underwater fishing on that day； there was the old iron wreck of a steamer that had broken up and at high tide the rusty iron of her boilers still showed above the sea。 Today the wind was in the south and Thomas Hudson anchored in the lee of a patch of reef； not too close in； and Roger and the boys got their masks and spears ready。 The spears were very primitive； and of all sorts； and these spears were made according to Thomas Hudsonˇs and the boyˇs individual ideas。
Joseph had come along to scull the dinghy。 He took Andrew in with him and they started for the reef while the others slipped over the side to swim。
¨Arenˇt you coming； papa？〃 David called up to his father on the flying bridge of his fishing boat。 The circle of glass over his eyes； nose； and forehead； with the rubber frame pressed under his nose； into his cheeks； and tight against his forehead； held tight into the flesh by a rubber strap around the back of his head； made him look like one of the characters in those pseudoscientific comic strips。 ¨Iˇll come over later on。〃
¨Donˇt wait too long until everything gets spooked。〃
¨Thereˇs plenty of reef。 You wonˇt work it all over。〃
¨But I know two holes out beyond the boilers that are wonderful。 I found them the day we came alone。 They were so untouched and full of fish I left them for when we would all be here。〃
¨I remember。 Iˇll come over in about an hour。〃
¨Iˇll save them for when you come；〃 David said and started to swim after the others； his right hand holding the six…foot ironwood shaft with the hand…forged； twin…pronged fish grains fitted to the end and made fast with a length of heavy fishing line。 His face was down in the water and he was studying the bottom through the glass of his mask as he swam。 He was an undersea boy and now that he was so brown and that he was swimming with only the wet back of his head showing he reminded Thomas Hudson more than ever of an otter。
He watched him swim along； using his left arm and kicking with his long legs and feet in a slow steady drive and occasionally； and each time much； much longer than you thought it would be； lifting his face a little to one side to breathe。 Roger and his oldest boy had swum out with their masks up on their foreheads and were a long way ahead。 Andrew and Joseph were over the reef in the dinghy but Andrew had not gone overboard yet。 There was only a light wind and the water over the reef looked light and creaming； with the reef showing brown and the dark blue water beyond。
Thomas Hudson went below to the gal
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