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hemingway, ernest - islands in the stream-第35部分
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Give them up now； he told himself。 Just remember how they were and write them off。 You have to do it sooner or later。 Do it now。
Read some more； he said。 Just then the ship started to move。 It was moving very slowly and he did not look out of the window of the sitting room。 He sat in the comfortable chair and read through the pile of papers and magazines and drank the Scotch and Perrier。
You havenˇt any problem at all； he told himself。 Youˇve given them up and theyˇre gone。 You should not have loved them so damn much in the first place。 You shouldnˇt have loved them and you shouldnˇt have loved their mother。 Listen to the whisky talking； he said to himself。 What a solvent of our problems。 The solvent alchemist that in a trice our leaden gold into shit transmutes。 That doesnˇt even scan。 Our leaden gold to shit transmutes is better。
I wonder where Roger is with that girl； he thought。 The bank will know where Tommy is。 I know where I am。 Iˇm in here with a bottle of Old Parr。 Tomorrow Iˇll sweat this all out in the gym。 Iˇll use the heat box。 Iˇll ride on one of those bicycles that goes nowhere and on a mechanical horse。 Thatˇs what I need。 A good ride on a mechanical horse。 Then Iˇll get a good rubdown。 Then Iˇll meet somebody in the bar and Iˇll talk about other things。 Itˇs only six days。 Six days is easy。
He went to sleep that night and when he woke in the night he heard the movement of the ship through the sea and at first； smelling the sea； he thought that he was at home in the house on the island and that he had wakened from a bad dream。 Then he knew it was not a bad dream and he smelled the heavy grease on the edges of the open window。 He switched the light on and drank some of the Perrier water。 He was very thirsty。
There was a tray with some sandwiches and fruit on the table where the steward had left them the night before and there was still ice in the bucket that held the Perrier。
He knew he should eat something and he looked at the clock on the wall。 It was three…twenty in the morning。 The sea air was cool and he ate a sandwich and two apples and then took some ice out of the bucket and made himself a drink。 The Old Parr was about gone but he had another bottle and now； in the cool of the early morning； he sat in the comfortable chair and drank and read The New Yorker。 He found that he could read it now and he found that he enjoyed drinking in the night。
For years he had kept an absolute rule about not drinking in the night and never drinking before he had done his work except on non…working days。 But now； as he woke in the night； he felt the simple happiness of breaking training。 It was the first return of any purely animal happiness or capacity for happiness that he had experienced since the cable had come。
The New Yorker was very good； he thought。 And itˇs evidently a magazine you can read on the fourth day after something happens。 Not on the first or the second or the third。 But on the fourth。 That was useful to know。 After The New Yorker he read The Ring and then he read everything that was readable in The Atlantic Monthly and some that was not。 Then he made his third drink and read Harperˇs。 You see； he said to himself； thereˇs nothing to it。
Part II
CUBA
AFTER THEY WERE ALL GONE he lay on the fiber matting on the floor and listened to the wind。 It was blowing a gale from the northwest and he spread blankets on the floor； piled pillows to brace against the stuffed chairback he placed against the leg of the living…room table； and wearing a long； peaked cap to shade his eyes； read his mail in the good light from the big reading lamp that stood on the table。 His cat lay on his chest and he pulled a light blanket over them both and opened and read the letters and drank from a glass of whisky and water that he replaced on the floor between sips。 His hand found the glass when he wanted it。
The cat was purring； but he could not hear him because he had a silent purr； and he would hold a letter in one hand and touch the catˇs throat with the finger of his other hand。
¨You have a throat mike； Boise；〃 he said。 ¨Do you love me？〃
The cat kneaded his chest softly with the claws just catching in the wool of the manˇs heavy blue jersey and he felt the catˇs long； lovingly spread weight and the purring under his fingers。
¨Sheˇs a bitch； Boise；〃 he told the cat and opened another letter。
The cat put his head under the manˇs chin and rubbed it there。
¨Theyˇll scratch the hell out of you； Boise；〃 the man said and stroked the catˇs head with the stubble of his chin。 ¨Womens donˇt like them。 Itˇs a shame you donˇt drink； Boy。 You do damned near everything else。〃
The cat had originally been named after the cruiser Boise but now； for a long time； the man had called him Boy for short。
He read the second letter through without comment and reached out and took a drink of the whisky and water。
¨Well；〃 he said。 ¨We arenˇt getting anywhere。 Iˇll tell you； Boy。 You read the letters and Iˇll lie on your chest and purr。 How would you like that？〃
The cat put his head up to rub against the manˇs chin and the man rubbed against it pushing his beard stubble down between the catˇs ears and along the back of his head and between his shoulder blades while he opened the third letter。
¨Did you worry about us； Boise； when the blow came up？〃 he asked。 ¨I wish you could have seen us come into the mouth of the harbor with the sea breaking over the Morro。 Youˇd have been spooked； Boy。 We came in in a bloody； huge； breaking sea like a damn surfboard。〃
The cat lay； contentedly； breathing in rhythm with the man。 He was a big cat； long and loving； the man thought； and poor from much night hunting。
¨Did you do any good while I was away； Boy？〃 He had laid the letter down and was stroking the cat under the blanket。 ¨Did you get many？〃 The cat rolled on his side and offered his stomach to be caressed the way he had done when he was a kitten； in the time when he had been happy。 The man put his arms around him and held him tight against his chest； the big cat on his side； his head under the manˇs chin。 Under the pressure of the manˇs arms he turned suddenly and lay flat against the man； his claws dug into the sweater； his body pressed tight。 He was not purring now。
¨Iˇm sorry； Boy；〃 the man said。 ¨Iˇm awfully sorry。 Let me read this other damned letter。 Thereˇs nothing we can do。 You donˇt know anything to dodo you？〃
The cat lay against him； heavy and unpurring and desperate。 The man stroked him and read the letter。 ¨Just take it easy； Boy；〃 he said。 ¨There isnˇt any solution。 If I ever find any solution Iˇll tell you。〃
By the time he had finished the third and longest letter the big black and white cat was asleep。 He was asleep in the position of the Sphinx； but with his head lowered in the manˇs chest。
Iˇm awfully glad； the man thought。 I ought to undress and take a bath and go to bed properly but there will be no hot water and I wouldnˇt sleep in a bed tonight。 Too much movement。 The bed would throw me。 Probably wonˇt sleep here either with that old beast on me。
¨Boy；〃 he said。 ¨Iˇm going to lift you off so I can lie on my side。〃
He lifted the heavy limp weight of the cat； that came alive suddenly in his hands； and then was limp again； and laid him by his side； then turned over to rest on his right elbow。 The cat lay along his back。 He had resented it while he was being moved but now he was asleep again； curled up against the man。 The man took the three letters and read them through for the second time。 He decided not to read the papers and reached up and put the light out and lay on his side； feeling the touch of the catˇs body against his buttocks。 He lay with his two arms around a pillow and his head on another pillow。 Outside the wind was blowing hard and the floor of the room still had some of the motion of the flying bridge。 He had been on the bridge nineteen hours before they had come in。
He lay there and tried to sleep； but he could not。 His eyes were very tired and he did not want the light on； nor to read； so he lay there and waited for morning。 Through the blankets he could feel the matting； made to the measure of the big room； that had been brought from Samoa on a cruiser six months before Pearl。 It covered all the tiled floor of the room； but where the French doors opened onto the patio it had been bent back and buckled by the movement of the doors and he could feel the wind get under it and billow it as the wind came in under the gap below the door frames。 He thought this wind would blow from the northwest at least another day； then go into the north and finally blow itself out from the northeast。 That was the way it moved in winter but it might stay in the northeast for several days； blowing hard； before it settled into the brisa which was the local name for the northeast trade wind。 Blowing at gale force out of the northeast against the Gulf Stream it made a very heavy sea； one of the heaviest he had ever seen anywhere； and he knew no Kraut would surface in it。 So； he thought； we will be ashore at least four days。 Then they will be up for sure。
He thought about this last trip and how the blow had caught them sixty miles down the coast and thirty offshore and the punishing trip in when he had decided to come into Havana rather than Bah？a Honda。 He had punished her all right。 He had punished her plenty and there were several things he would have to check。 It probably would have been better to put in at Bah？a Honda。 But they had been in there too much lately。 He had been out twelve days； too； expecting to be out not more than ten。 He was low on certain things and he could not be at all sure of the duration of this blow； so he had made the decision to come into Havana and had taken the beating。 In the morning he would bathe； shave； clean up； and go in and make his report to the Naval Attach？。 They might have wanted him to stay down the coast。 But he knew nothing would surface in this weather； it was impossible for them to。 That was all there was to it； really。 If he was right on that； the rest of it would be OK although things were not always that simple。 They certainly were not。
The floor h
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