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old fritz and the new era-第22部分
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〃Sir; people are quite accustomed to see me in a strange costume;
and the most of them think me crazy。〃
〃You are aware that insane people believe that they only are sane;
and that reasonable people are insane。 You will grant me that it is
much more like a crazy person to strew his hair with flour; and tie
it up in that ridiculous cue; than to wear it as God made it;
uncombed and unparted; as I do my beautiful hair; and for which they
call me crazy! But; for Heaven's sake; where are you going?〃 asked
Goethe; struggling to retain him。
〃I am going to trumpet through every street in Berlin that the
author of 'Werther;' of 'Clavigo;' of 'Gotz von Berlichingen;' of
'Stella;' of the most beautiful poems; is in my humble apartment。 I
will call in all the little poets and savants of Berlin; I will drag
Mammler; Nicolai; Engel; Spaulding; Gedicke; Plumicke; Karschin; and
Burman here。 They shall all come to see Wolfgang Goethe; and adore
him。 The insignificant poets shall pay homage to thee; the true
poet; the favorite of Apollo。〃
〃My dear Moritz; if you leave me for that; I will run away; and you
will trouble yourself in vain。〃
〃Impossible; you will be my prisoner until I return。 I shall lock
you in; and you cannot escape by the window; as I fortunately live
on the third story。〃
〃But I shall not wait to be looked in;〃 answered Goethe; slightly
annoyed。 〃I came to see you; and if you run away I shall go also;
and I advise you not to try to prevent me。〃 His voice resounded
through the apartment; growing louder as he spoke; his cheeks
flushed; and his high; commanding brow contracted。
〃Jupiter Tonans!〃 cried Moritz; regarding him; 〃you are truly
Jupiter Tonans in person; and I bow before you and obey your
command。 I shall remain to worship you; and gaze at you。〃
〃And it may be possible to speak in a reasonable manner to me;〃 said
Goethe; coaxingly。 〃Away with sentimentality and odors of incense!
We are no sybarites; to feed on sweet…meats and cakes; but we are
men who have a noble aim in view; attained only by a thorny path。
Our eyes must remain fixed upon the goal; and nothing must divert
them from it。〃
〃What is the aim that we should strive for?〃 asked Moritz; his whole
being suddenly changing; and his manner expressing the greatest
depression and sadness。
Goethe smiled。 〃How can you ask; as if you did not know it yourself。
Self…knowledge should be our first aim! The ancient philosophers
were wise to have inscribed over the entrances to their temples;
'Know thyself;' in order to remind all approaching; to examine
themselves before they entered the halls of the gods。 Is not the
human heart equally a temple? only the demons and the gods strive
together therein; unfortunately。 To drive the former out; and give
place to the latter; should be our aim; and when once purified; and
room is given for good deeds and great achievements; we shall not
rest satisfied simply to conquer; but rise with gladness to build
altars upon those places which we have freed from the demons; for
that; we must steadily keep in view truth and reality; and not hide
them with a black veil; or array them in party…colored rags。 Our
ideas must be clear about the consequences of things; that we may
not be like those foolish men who drink wine every evening and
complain of headache every morning; resorting to preventives。〃
Did Goethe know the struggles and dissensions which rent the heart
of the young man to whom he spoke? Had his searching eyes read the
secrets which were hidden in that darkened soul? He regarded him as
he spoke with so much commiseration that Moritz's heart softened
under the genial influence of sympathy and kindness。 A convulsive
trembling seized him; his cheeks were burning red; and his features
expressed the struggle within。 Suddenly he burst into tears。 〃I am
very; very wretched;〃 he sighed; with a voice suffocated by weeping;
and sank upon a chair; sobbing aloud; and covering his face with his
hands。
Goethe approached him; and laid his hand gently upon his shoulder。
〃Why are you so miserable? Is there any human being who can help
you?〃 he kindly inquired。
〃Yes;〃 sobbed Moritz; 〃there are those who could; but they will not;
and I am lost。 I stand upon the brink of a precipice; with Insanity
staring at me; grinning and showing her teeth。 I know it; but cannot
retreat。 I wear the mask of madness to conceal my careworn face。
Your divine eyes could not be deceived。 You have not mistaken the
caricature for the true face。 You have penetrated beneath the gay
tatters; and have seen the misery which sought to hide itself
there。〃
〃I saw it; and I bewailed it; as a friend pities a friend whom he
would willingly aid if he only knew how to do it。〃
〃No one can help me;〃 sighed Moritz; shaking his head mournfully。 〃I
am lost; irremediably lost!〃
〃No one is lost who will save himself。 He who is wrecked by a storm
and tossed upon the raging sea; ought to be upon the watch for a
plank by which he can save himself。 He must keep his eyes open; and
not let his arms hang idly; for if he allows himself to be swallowed
up he becomes a self…murderer; who; like Erostratus; destroyed the
holy temple; and gained eternal fame through eternal shame。〃
〃What are you saying?〃 cried Moritz; 〃you; the author of 'Werther;'
of that immortal work which has drunk the tears of the whole world;
and has become the Holy Testament for unhappy souls!〃
〃Rather say for lovers;〃 replied Goethe; 〃and add also those
troubled spirits who think themselves poetical when they whine and
howl; who cry over misfortune if Fate denies them the toy which
their vanity; their ambition; or their amorousness; had chosen。 Do
not burden me with what I am not guilty of; do not say that wine is
a poison; because it is not good for the sick。 It is intended for
well people; it animates and inspires them to fresh vigor。 Now
please to consider yourself well; and not ill。〃
〃I am ill; indeed I am ill;〃 sighed Moritz。 〃Oh! continue to regard
me with those eyes; which shine like stars into my benighted soul。 I
feel like one who has long wandered through the desert; his feet
burnt with the sand; his hair scorched with the sun; and; exhausted
with hunger and thirst; feels death approaching。 Suddenly he
discovers a green oasis; and a being with outstretched arms calling
to him with a soft; angel…like voice: 'Come; save thyself in my
arms; feel that thou art not alone in the desert; for I am with
thee; and will sustain thee!'〃
〃And I say it to you from the bottom of my heart;〃 said Goethe;
affectionately。 〃Yes; here is one; who is only too happy to aid you;
who can sympathize with every sorrow; because he has himself felt it
in his own breast; who may even say of himself; like Ovid: 'Nothing
human is strange to me。' If I can aid you; say so; and I will
willingly do it。〃
〃No; you cannot;〃 murmured Moritz。
〃At least confide your grief to me; that is an alleviation。〃
〃Oh; how kind and generous you are!〃 Moritz said; pressing the hand
of his new…made friend to his bosom。 〃How much good it does me to
listen to you; and look at your beautiful face! I believed myself
steeled against every thing that could happen to mortals; that the
fool which I would be had killed within me the higher man。 I was
almost proud to have succeeded in deceiving men; that they mistook
my grotesque mask for my real face; that they point the finger at
me; and laugh; saying to each other: 'That is a fool; an original;
whom Nature herself has chosen as a kind of court fool to society。'
No one has understood the cry of distress of my soul。 Those who
laughed at the comical fellow by day; little dreamed of the anguish
and misery in which he sighed away the night。〃
〃You not only wrong yourself; but you wrong mankind;〃 said Goethe;
kindly。 〃In the world; and in literature; you bear an honored name;
every one of education is familiar with your excellent work on
'Prosody of the German Language'has read also your spirited
Journey to England。 You have no right to ask that one should
separate the kernel from the shell in hastily passing by。 If you
surround yourself with a wall bedaubed with caricatures; you cannot
expect that people will look behind what seems an entrance to a
puppet…show; to find holy temples; blooming gardens; or a church…
yard filled with graves。〃
〃That is just what I resemble;〃 said Moritz; with a melancholy air。
〃From the depths of my soul it seems so。 Nothing but buried hopes;
murdered ideals; and wishes trodden under foot。 From childhood I
have exerted myself against circumstances; I have striven my whole
lifea pledge of my being against unpropitious Fate。 Although the
son of a poor tradesman; Nature had given me a thirst for knowledge;
a love for science and art。 On account of it I passed for a stupid
idler in the family; who would not contribute to his own support。
Occupation with books was accounted idleness and laziness by my
father。 I was driven to work with blows and ill…treatment; and; that
I might the sooner equal my father as a good shoemaker; I was bound
to the stool near his own。 During the long; fearful days I was
forced to sit and draw the pitched; offensive thread through the
leather; and when my arms were lame; and sank weary at my side; then
I was invigorated to renewed exertion with blows。 Finally; with the
courage of despair; I fled from this life of torture。 Unacquainted
with the world; and inexperienced; I hoped for the sympathy of men;
but in vain。 No one would relieve or assist me! Days and weeks long
I have wandered around in the forest adjoining our little village;
and lived like the animals; upon roots and herbs。 Yet I was happy! I
had taken with me in my flight two books which I had received as
prizes; in the happy days that my father permitted me to go to the
Latin school。 The decision of the teacher that I was created for a
scholar; so terrified my father; that he took me from the school; to
turn the embryo savant; who would be good for nothing; into a
shoemaker; who might earn his bread。 My two darling books remained
to me。 In the forest solitude I read Ovid and Virgil until I had
memorized them; and recited them aloud; in path
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