camille-第24部分

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o　be　in　love；　and　to　go　into　the　country　and　lead　a　dreamy；　pastoral　life。　No；　my　friend；　no。　By　the　side　of　that　ideal　life；　there　is　a　material　life；　and　the　purest　resolutions　are　held　to　earth　by　threads　which　seem　slight　enough；　but　which　are　of　iron；　not　easily　to　be　broken。　If　Marguerite　has　not　been　unfaithful　to　you　twenty　times；　it　is　because　she　has　an　exceptional　nature。　It　is　not　my　fault　for　not　advising　her　to；　for　I　couldn't　bear　to　see　the　poor　girl　stripping　herself　of　everything。　She　wouldn't；　she　replied　that　she　loved　you；　and　she　wouldn't　be　unfaithful　to　you　for　anything　in　the　world。　All　that　is　very　pretty；　very　poetical；　but　one　can't　pay　one's　creditors　in　that　coin；　and　now　she　can't　free　herself　from　debt；　unless　she　can　raise　thirty　thousand　francs。〃

〃All　right；　I　will　provide　that　amount。〃

〃You　will　borrow　it？〃

〃Good　heavens！　Why；　yes！〃

〃A　fine　thing　that　will　be　to　do；　you　will　fall　out　with　your　father；　cripple　your　resources；　and　one　doesn't　find　thirty　thousand　francs　from　one　day　to　another。　Believe　me；　my　dear　Armand；　I　know　women　better　than　you　do；　do　not　commit　this　folly；　you　will　be　sorry　for　it　one　day。　Be　reasonable。　I　don't　advise　you　to　leave　Marguerite；　but　live　with　her　as　you　did　at　the　beginning。　Let　her　find　the　means　to　get　out　of　this　difficulty。　The　duke　will　come　back　in　a　little　while。　The　Comte　de　N。；　if　she　would　take　him；　he　told　me　yesterday　even；　would　pay　all　her　debts；　and　give　her　four　or　five　thousand　francs　a　month。　He　has　two　hundred　thousand　a　year。　It　would　be　a　position　for　her；　while　you　will　certainly　be　obliged　to　leave　her。　Don't　wait　till　you　are　ruined；　especially　as　the　Comte　de　N。　is　a　fool；　and　nothing　would　prevent　your　still　being　Marguerite's　lover。　She　would　cry　a　little　at　the　beginning；　but　she　would　come　to　accustom　herself　to　it；　and　you　would　thank　me　one　day　for　what　you　had　done。　Imagine　that　Marguerite　is　married；　and　deceive　the　husband；　that　is　all。　I　have　already　told　you　all　this　once；　only　at　that　time　it　was　merely　advice；　and　now　it　is　almost　a　necessity。〃

What　Prudence　said　was　cruelly　true。

〃This　is　how　it　is；〃　she　went　on；　putting　away　the　papers　she　had　just　shown　me；　〃women　like　Marguerite　always　foresee　that　some　one　will　love　them；　never　that　they　will　love；　otherwise　they　would　put　aside　money；　and　at　thirty　they　could　afford　the　luxury　of　having　a　lover　for　nothing。　If　I　had　only　known　once　what　I　know　now！　In　short；　say　nothing　to　Marguerite；　and　bring　her　back　to　Paris。　You　have　lived　with　her　alone　for　four　or　five　months；　that　is　quite　enough。　Shut　your　eyes　now；　that　is　all　that　any　one　asks　of　you。　At　the　end　of　a　fortnight　she　will　take　the　Comte　de　N。；　and　she　will　save　up　during　the　winter；　and　next　summer　you　will　begin　over　again。　That　is　how　things　are　done；　my　dear　fellow！〃

And　Prudence　appeared　to　be　enchanted　with　her　advice；　which　I　refused　indignantly。

Not　only　my　love　and　my　dignity　would　not　let　me　act　thus；　but　I　was　certain　that；　feeling　as　she　did　now；　Marguerite　would　die　rather　than　accept　another　lover。

〃Enough　joking；〃　I　said　to　Prudence；　〃tell　me　exactly　how　much　Marguerite　is　in　need　of。〃

〃I　have　told　you：　thirty　thousand　francs。〃

〃And　when　does　she　require　this　sum？〃

〃Before　the　end　of　two　months。〃

〃She　shall　have　it。〃

Prudence　shrugged　her　shoulders。

〃I　will　give　it　to　you；〃　I　continued；　〃but　you　must　swear　to　me　that　you　will　not　tell　Marguerite　that　I　have　given　it　to　you。〃

〃Don't　be　afraid。〃

〃And　if　she　sends　you　anything　else　to　sell　or　pawn；　let　me　know。〃

〃There　is　no　danger。　She　has　nothing　left。〃

I　went　straight　to　my　own　house　to　see　if　there　were　any　letters　from　my　father。　There　were　four。



Chapter　19

In　his　first　three　letters　my　father　inquired　the　cause　of　my　silence；　in　the　last　he　allowed　me　to　see　that　he　had　heard　of　my　change　of　life；　and　informed　me　that　he　was　about　to　come　and　see　me。

I　have　always　had　a　great　respect　and　a　sincere　affection　for　my　father。　I　replied　that　I　had　been　travelling　for　a　short　time；　and　begged　him　to　let　me　know　beforehand　what　day　he　would　arrive；　so　that　I　could　be　there　to　meet　him。

I　gave　my　servant　my　address　in　the　country；　telling　him　to　bring　me　the　first　letter　that　came　with　the　postmark　of　C。；　then　I　returned　to　Bougival。

Marguerite　was　waiting　for　me　at　the　garden　gate。　She　looked　at　me　anxiously。　Throwing　her　arms　round　my　neck；　she　said　to　me：　〃Have　you　seen　Prudence？〃

〃No。〃

〃You　were　a　long　time　in　Paris。〃

〃I　found　letters　from　my　father　to　which　I　had　to　reply。〃

A　few　minutes　afterward　Nanine　entered；　all　out　of　breath。　Marguerite　rose　and　talked　with　her　in　whispers。　When　Nanine　had　gone　out　Marguerite　sat　down　by　me　again　and　said；　taking　my　hand：

〃Why　did　you　deceive　me？　You　went　to　see　Prudence。〃

〃Who　told　you？〃

〃Nanine。〃

〃And　how　did　she　know？〃

〃She　followed　you。〃

〃You　told　her　to　follow　me？〃

〃Yes。　I　thought　that　you　must　have　had　a　very　strong　motive　for　going　to　Paris；　after　not　leaving　me　for　four　months。　I　was　afraid　that　something　might　happen　to　you；　or　that　you　were　perhaps　going　to　see　another　woman。〃

〃Child！〃

〃Now　I　am　relieved。　I　know　what　you　have　done；　but　I　don't　yet　know　what　you　have　been　told。〃

I　showed　Marguerite　my　father's　letters。

〃That　is　not　what　I　am　asking　you　about。　What　I　want　to　know　is　why　you　went　to　see　Prudence。〃

〃To　see　her。〃

〃That's　a　lie；　my　friend。〃

〃Well；　I　went　to　ask　her　if　the　horse　was　any　better；　and　if　she　wanted　your　shawl　and　your　jewels　any　longer。〃

Marguerite　blushed；　but　did　not　answer。

〃And；〃　I　continued；　〃I　learned　what　you　had　done　with　your　horses；　shawls；　and　jewels。〃

〃And　you　are　vexed？〃

〃I　am　vexed　that　it　never　occurred　to　you　to　ask　me　for　what　you　were　in　want　of。〃

〃In　a　liaison　like　ours；　if　the　woman　has　any　sense　of　dignity　at　all；　she　ought　to　make　every　possible　sacrifice　rather　than　ask　her　lover　for　money　and　so　give　a　venal　character　to　her　love。　You　love　me；　I　am　sure；　but　you　do　not　know　on　how　slight　a　thread　depends　the　love　one　has　for　a　woman　like　me。　Who　knows？　Perhaps　some　day　when　you　were　bored　or　worried　you　would　fancy　you　saw　a　carefully　concerted　plan　in　our　liaison。　Prudence　is　a　chatterbox。　What　need　had　I　of　the　horses？　It　was　an　economy　to　sell　them。　I　don't　use　them　and　I　don't　spend　anything　on　their　keep；　if　you　love　me；　I　ask　nothing　more；　and　you　will　love　me　just　as　much　without　horses；　or　shawls；　or　diamonds。〃

All　that　was　said　so　naturally　that　the　tears　came　to　my　eyes　as　I　listened。

〃But；　my　good　Marguerite；〃　I　replied；　pressing　her　hands　lovingly；　〃you　knew　that　one　day　I　should　discover　the　sacrifice　you　had　made；　and　that　the　moment　I　discovered　it　I　should　allow　it　no　longer。〃

〃But　why？〃

〃Because；　my　dear　child；　I　can　not　allow　your　affection　for　me　to　deprive　you　of　even　a　trinket。　I　too　should　not　like　you　to　be　able；　in　a　moment　when　you　were　bored　or　worried；　to　think　that　if　you　were　living　with　somebody　else　those　moments　would　not　exist；　and　to　repent；　if　only　for　a　minute；　of　living　with　me。　In　a　few　days　your　horses；　your　diamonds；　and　your　shawls　shall　be　returned　to　you。　They　are　as　necessary　to　you　as　air　is　to　life；　and　it　may　be　absurd；　but　I　like　you　better　showy　than　simple。〃

〃Then　you　no　longer　love　me。〃

〃Foolish　creature！〃

〃If　you　loved　me；　you　would　let　me　love　you　my　own　way；　on　the　contrary；　you　persist　in　only　seeing　in　me　a　woman　to　whom　luxury　is　indispensable；　and　whom　you　think　you　are　always　obliged　to　pay。　You　are　ashamed　to　accept　the　proof　of　my　love。　In　spite　of　yourself；　you　think　of　leaving　me　some　day；　and　you　want　to　put　your　disinterestedness　beyond　risk　of　suspicion。　You　are　right；　my　friend；　but　I　had　better　hopes。〃

And　Marguerite　made　a　motion　to　rise；　I　held　her；　and　said　to　her：

〃I　want　you　to　be　happy　and　to　have　nothing　to　reproach　me　for；　that　is　all。〃

〃And　we　are　going　to　be　separated！〃

〃Why；　Marguerite；　who　can　separate　us？〃　I　cried。

〃You；　who　will　not　let　me　take　you　on　your　own　level；　but　insist　on　taking　me　on　mine；　you；　who　wish　me　to　keep　the　luxury　in　the　midst　of　which　I　have　lived；　and　so　keep　the　moral　distance　which　separates　us；　you；　who　do　not　believe　that　my　affection　is　sufficiently　disinterested　to　share　with　me　what　you　have；　though　we　could　live　happily　enough　on　it　together；　and　would　rather　ruin　yourself；　because　you　are　still　bound　by　a　foolish　prejudice。　Do　you　really　think　that　I　could　compare　a　carriage　and　diamonds　with　your　love？　Do　you　think　that　my　real　happiness　lies　in　the　trifles　that　mean　so　much　when　one　has　nothing　to　love；　but　which　become　trifling　indeed　when　one　has？　You　will　pay　my　debts；　realize　your　estate；　and　then　keep　me？　How　long　will　that　last？　Two　or　three　months；　and　then　it　will　be　too　late　to　live　the　life　I　propose；　for　then　you　will　have　to　take　everything　from　me；　and　that　is　what　a　man　of　honour　can　not　do；　while　now　you　have　eight　or　ten　thousand　francs　a　year；　on　which　we　should　be　able　to　live。　I　will　sell　the　rest　of　what　I　do　not　want；　and　with　this　alone　I　will　make　two　thousand　francs　a　year。　We　will　take　a　nice　little　flat　in　which　we　can　both　live。　In　the　summer　we　will　go　into　the　country；　not　to　a　house　like　this；　but　to　a　house　just　big　enough　for　two　people。　You　are　independent；　I　am　free；　we　are　young；　in　heaven's　name；　Armand；　do　not　drive　me　back　into　the　life　I　had　to　lead　once！〃

I　could　not　answer。　Tears　of　gratitude　and　love　filled　my　eyes；　and　I　flung　myself　into　Marguerite's　arms。

〃I　wanted；〃　she　continued；　〃to　arrange　everything　without　telling　you；　pay　all　my　debts；　and　take　a　new　flat。　In　October　we　should　have　been　back　in　Paris；　and　all　would　have　come　out；　but　since　Prudence　has　told　you　all；　you　will　have　to　agree　beforehand；　instead　of　agreeing　afterward。　Do　you　love　me　enough　for　that？〃

It　was　impossible　to　resist　such　devotion。　I　kissed　her　hands　ardently；　and　said：

〃I　will　do　whatever　you　wish。〃

It　was　agreed　that　we　should　do　as　she　had　planned。　Thereupon；　she　went　wild　with　delight；　danced；　sang；　amused　herself　with　calling　up　pictures　of　her　new　flat　in　all　its　simplicity；　and　began　to　consult　me　as　to　its　position　and　arr